I really hope you can read this letter from me.
In case you wonder, mom is doing fine. And we both miss you a lot. Do you remember the flagpole in front of our house? Mom would put that flag up every morning and take it down at night.
Mom told me that she pray and talk to you every night, so I guess you know pretty much all that have had happened to me lately. I know I haven’t been your good girl for even thinking of giving up my life. I know you want to see me being strong.
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the lucky sea shell I made for you? I still remember you promised me that you would wear it all the time while you were at war. The last time I saw you, they didn’t let me see your face, and it was the only thing that I recognized you with. You know what, it saved my life the other day! Sadly, not yours…
On that day I came up with those silly thoughts, I picked it up and then all your words came up into my mind. I remembered what you told me about the war, the uncertainty, and the frustration, but also about the obligation of protecting our country and the people, the duty of being a soldier, and the responsibility of saving innocent lives.
Although I am still not sure why we invaded Iraq (maybe it is most about resources like oil), and what we are free from after the war, I remember clearly the words you told me and mom 30 years ago “… the important thing is that we are here in the war for our country, and we will fight …”
Do you remember at the time you were at war I kept asking “where are you” and “when you will come home”, but you could never tell me? Now I know what a hard time I had been giving you and mom. I know that was just something you had absolutely no influence and control over. Mom once told me that we are the reason why you kept fighting and kept living. I think the family photo in your hand at your last moment proves everything.
Later, I thought maybe life is a war since the very beginning. I may not know the true meaning of it, but as I am already in this war, I will fight, like a soldier, like you! What’s more, it is a war that we have the most significant influence and control over, where we are not only the soldier, but also the chief commander.
I love you, dad! I promise you that I will always value the life you gave me, and will always love the country and people you gave your life to…
P.S. I know you cannot tell me where you are just like before, but actually I know it all the time – you are so close – here, in my heart …
Your beloved daughter, who will become a mother in several weeks
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