Wedding planning
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not feel pressured to celebrate holidays if you do not want to.
You will be happier doing what you want.
one person who lived it
Distinguish between the wedding day and the marriage itself.
They are two very different things.
one person who lived it
Write a daily compliment to each other in a shared journal.
It creates cute memories to look back on.
one person who lived it
Do not expect guests to cancel pre-paid plans, such as children's birthday parties, to attend your event.
It is not reasonable to expect people to cancel plans they have already paid for.
one person who lived it
Schedule wedding anniversaries or trips during off-peak seasons to reduce costs.
it is cheaper
one person who lived it
Have a smaller wedding if you cannot afford a large one, rather than shifting costs to guests via inconvenient dates.
Shifting cost to guests is improper etiquette.
one person who lived it
Move celebrations to the nearest weekend to accommodate work schedules and reduce rushed feelings.
Weekends are easier for people with weekday work or school activities and can remove the rushed feeling.
one person who lived it
Accept that some people genuinely struggle with remembering dates and names.
For some people, this is an inherent difficulty rather than a lack of care.
one person who lived it
Celebrate Orthodox Christmas to buy gifts at post-Christmas sales.
Orthodox Christmas is two weeks after December 25th, allowing access to after-Christmas sales.
one person who lived it
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Use Veterans Day for family reunions to save on airfare and avoid holiday rushes.
It saves money on airfare, avoids the need to fight for time off, and provides holiday pay for some workers.
one person who lived it
Avoid scheduling weddings on long holiday weekends to prevent inconveniencing guests who plan travel during those times.
Guests may resent being prevented from going away or participating in yearly traditions, and crowds can cause logistical issues like hotel overbooking.
4 people, independently
- Choose a random weekend for your wedding instead of co-opting holidays from your guests.1
- Avoid scheduling weddings on Christmas or Thanksgiving.1
Avoid clustering multiple family events, such as birthdays and showers, into the same weekend.
It is exhausting.
one person who lived it
- Host separate celebrations for different family groups on different days to avoid overloading any single day.1
Ask a trusted friend or family member to keep a journal during the wedding to capture candid observations and quotes.
It was really neat!
one person who lived it
Consider Monday wedding dates when venue availability is limited.
Venue availability matters more than the day during periods of closure or limitation.
one person who lived it
Celebrate holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries on a different day than the actual date to reduce stress and avoid bad conditions.
There is no requirement to celebrate on the actual day; finding the best day allows celebration under the best conditions and de-stresses things.
2 people, independently
Use a shared calendar to schedule weekend activities if you work different shifts.
This ensures you coordinate when you only have weekends together.
one person who lived it
Politely decline wedding invitations on long holiday weekends if you have prior vacation plans.
You should live for yourself rather than for family expectations.
one person who lived it
If you work in a role with seniority-based scheduling, confirm your employer will grant time off for a wedding before committing to attend.
- Low-seniority employees may be denied leave.
one person who lived it
Inform resort staff if you are staying for a special occasion like a honeymoon or anniversary to potentially receive complimentary amenities or upgrades.
Resorts often throw in free amenities, tickets, or upgrades when guests mention special occasions.
- You cannot expect these things automatically; it happens only sometimes.
2 people, independently
If your legal marriage date and ceremony date differ, engrave the ceremony date on your rings and use that for anniversary tracking.
It simplifies remembering if you forget the earlier legal date.
one person who lived it