Self esteem
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Compare yourself only to your past self, not to others.
No one else shares your exact mix of traits and history; you are competing against your former self.
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- Measure your progress against your past self instead of measuring up to others in the present.3
Shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.
Changing this mindset has been really helpful for me.
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- Keep a gratitude journal to reframe your mindset and focus on what you have.7
View embarrassment over old errors as proof of personal development and learning.
Feeling cringe means you have evolved and matured; not feeling it would imply stagnation.
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Change things you are not satisfied with if you can; accept them if you cannot.
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Base your self-worth on internal standards rather than seeking approval from other people.
Realizing that your identity does not rely on external feedback feels freeing.
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Recall that others are mostly indifferent to what you do and rarely recall your small errors.
People are too focused on their own stressors to remember specific details about your day.
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Believe that you deserve love, affection, and attention in your current state.
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Cease measuring yourself against other people.
Such comparisons drain your happiness and are unhealthy.
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12 more on this
Follow the principle of not stressing over things beyond your influence.
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Speak to and view yourself as you would support a close friend facing the same problem.
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Read 'Feeling Good' by David Burns to learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques for reversing negative, distorted thoughts.
It provides practical action steps and tips for CBT.
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Be patient with yourself, accepting that you are not perfect and still learning, trusting you will get there in time.
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Focus on winning small, immediate battles like today or this morning and stack these small wins daily.
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Trust that difficult circumstances will get better over time.
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Cease seeking grounds for self-loathing; instead, concentrate on positive aspects to develop them further.
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Write down positive affirmations and place them on your nightstand, bathroom mirror, desk, or fridge to read throughout the day.
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Pause to consider your reply before responding to praise, preventing awkward self-criticism.
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Practice mindfulness to recognize when you are spiraling into negative thoughts.
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Lessen concern about others' opinions by acknowledging the spotlight effect: most people are preoccupied with themselves.
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Play a humorous theme song, such as those from Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, or Shitts Creek, in your head when an embarrassing memory arises.
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