Self esteem
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Compare yourself only to your past self, not to others.
No one else shares your exact mix of traits and history; you are competing against your former self.
some people found it on their own
- Measure your progress against your past self instead of measuring up to others in the present.3
Shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.
Changing this mindset has been really helpful for me.
some people found it on their own
- Keep a gratitude journal to reframe your mindset and focus on what you have.7
View embarrassment over old errors as proof of personal development and learning.
Feeling cringe means you have evolved and matured; not feeling it would imply stagnation.
some people found it on their own
Change things you are not satisfied with if you can; accept them if you cannot.
some people found it on their own
Base your self-worth on internal standards rather than seeking approval from other people.
Realizing that your identity does not rely on external feedback feels freeing.
some people found it on their own
Recall that others are mostly indifferent to what you do and rarely recall your small errors.
People are too focused on their own stressors to remember specific details about your day.
some people found it on their own
Believe that you deserve love, affection, and attention in your current state.
some people found it on their own
Cease measuring yourself against other people.
Such comparisons drain your happiness and are unhealthy.
some people found it on their own
12 more on this
Follow the principle of not stressing over things beyond your influence.
some people found it on their own
Speak to and view yourself as you would support a close friend facing the same problem.
some people found it on their own
Read 'Feeling Good' by David Burns to learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques for reversing negative, distorted thoughts.
It provides practical action steps and tips for CBT.
some people found it on their own
Be patient with yourself, accepting that you are not perfect and still learning, trusting you will get there in time.
some people found it on their own
Focus on winning small, immediate battles like today or this morning and stack these small wins daily.
some people found it on their own
Trust that difficult circumstances will get better over time.
some people found it on their own
Cease seeking grounds for self-loathing; instead, concentrate on positive aspects to develop them further.
some people found it on their own
Write down positive affirmations and place them on your nightstand, bathroom mirror, desk, or fridge to read throughout the day.
some people found it on their own
Pause to consider your reply before responding to praise, preventing awkward self-criticism.
some people found it on their own
Practice mindfulness to recognize when you are spiraling into negative thoughts.
some people found it on their own
Lessen concern about others' opinions by acknowledging the spotlight effect: most people are preoccupied with themselves.
some people found it on their own
Play a humorous theme song, such as those from Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, or Shitts Creek, in your head when an embarrassing memory arises.
some people found it on their own