Social skills
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Read the book 'The Courage to be Disliked'.
It helped one person and could change your life.
some people found it on their own
Stop worrying about minor social mistakes, as others are too self-focused to notice or remember them for long.
People generally forget what you did or said within minutes and are wrapped up in their own lives.
some people found it on their own
Read books on social skills such as 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' or 'How to Talk to Anyone'.
They helped a lot.
some people found it on their own
- Read Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' for a practical guide on social skills.6
Acknowledge that the majority of people are preoccupied with their own lives rather than thinking about you.
They are often too busy worrying about how others perceive them.
some people found it on their own
- Recognize that people are usually preoccupied with their own concerns rather than scrutinizing your every move.8
One approach that helped with anxiety is practicing the basic Wim Hof breathing method once a day.
It works wonders for some people.
some people found it on their own
Practice being solo without feeling isolated.
Fear of loneliness is often the source of many life issues; solitude enables self-knowledge and the building of personal joy.
- Feelings vary greatly; some times adoration of solitude contrasts sharply with times when feeling alone causes severe distress.
some people found it on their own
Choose your company carefully by staying close to those who uplift you, not those who pull you down.
some people found it on their own
Act like a character you want to be or a confident person you know, asking yourself how they would act in the moment.
some people found it on their own
Focus on controlling your actions and how you treat others, rather than trying to control what other people do.
some people found it on their own
- Remind yourself that others likely do not focus on your behavior as intensely as you do.3
- Do not take interactions personally; recognize that most events are not about you.5
- Redirect the energy you spend worrying about others' opinions toward bettering yourself.5
8 more on this
Pretend to be self-assured until your mind aligns with that behavior.
some people found it on their own
- Reframe your perception of the situation to convince yourself that what you feel is excitement rather than anxiety.4
Allow yourself to exit social gatherings early if they become overwhelming, instead of pushing through.
Departing sooner lowers the stress associated with enduring the situation.
some people found it on their own
Identify as the awareness observing your thoughts, rather than the internal monologue itself.
some people found it on their own
Find places where you can connect with people who share your interests.
some people found it on their own
- Join group or extracurricular activities based on your interests to make friends.5
Adopt a mindset of not caring about strangers' opinions, reasoning that you will likely never see them again.
some people found it on their own
Expose yourself to feared situations to realize your concerns were exaggerated.
some people found it on their own
Focus on activities that matter to you over those driven by perceived external expectations.
some people found it on their own
Start conversations with strangers using various methods available to you.
some people found it on their own