Appearance

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

Practice self-acceptance and love for yourself rather than trying to appeal to others.
16 people, independently
Tailor your shirt and maintain eye contact most of the time.
Tailoring makes a shirt look better.
one person who lived it
If you are young and student teaching, dress professionally to avoid being mistaken for a student.
People may ask where the teacher is if you dress like a student.
- Applies specifically to young people in student teaching roles.
one person who lived it
Replace sweats that have stretched and faded after months or years of wear.
They start to look raggedy.
one person who lived it
Wear clothes that fit your body type well and suit your personal style.
Well-fitting clothing complements your body and boosts attractiveness.
3 people, independently

confidence, clothes, items, wear101

Keep promises as much as possible, especially those made to yourself.

Learn simple clothing alterations to improve the fit of sale or second-hand items.
You may not be able to afford a tailor for basic items like t-shirts and jeans.
2 people, independently
Exercise regularly, such as walking or lifting, to boost mood and confidence.
Exercising helps access endorphins.
3 people, independently
Attempt to improve your style as a first step toward looking good.
Even the attempt is a positive move for most men.
one person who lived it
Size up garments to fit the widest part of your body, then belt the waist or cuff the hem instead of trying to let out fabric.
It is easier to belt or cuff than to add fabric where none exists.
one person who lived it

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Try meeting people naturally through friends or in real life instead of relying solely on dating apps.
Dating apps can be unreliable.
- Meeting people this way may be harder.
one person who lived it
Dress for your body type and groom yourself well.
Doing so signals that you are approachable; failing to do so telegraphs that you are a 'bummer'.
one person who lived it
Go out and talk to lots of girls, focusing on being confident and charming rather than worrying about stats.
Going out and talking to lots of girls is by far the most important thing.
one person who lived it
Visit a thrift store once or twice a week with a monthly budget of $20 to find good deals.
Items are snatched up quickly, so frequent visits are necessary.
one person who lived it
Go to the gym, practice skincare, and read to become more disciplined, polite, and confident in the long term.
A glow up involves changing as a person, not just appearance.
one person who lived it
Do not mold yourself into an image to please others.
It backfires by attracting people who like the image rather than the real you.
one person who lived it
Dress according to your general body shape (such as apple or pear) rather than complex systems like Kibbe, to get a better fit.
Complex systems like Kibbe are described as nonsense; sticking to general shape helps clothes fit perfectly.
- Kibbe is considered nonsense by this source.
one person who lived it
Learn to cook.
It is a winning skill alongside confidence and humor.
one person who lived it
Show women who you really are to gauge their correct interest.
You will get a response that correctly corresponds to the real you.
one person who lived it
Replace jeans with dresses if jeans make you feel bad, to align clothing with your personal identity.
Jeans made one person feel shitty, while dresses made them feel 'me'.
one person who lived it
Be authentic and curious about the person you are attracted to rather than trying to get them or putting them on a pedestal.
Viewing them as just another girl you're attracted to helps remove the pedestal.
one person who lived it
If you are heavy, wear fitted clothes instead of baggy shirts.
Baggy shirts make you look even bigger despite the intention to hide.
one person who lived it
Stick to brands you know fit well to streamline online shopping.
Knowing your size in specific brands allows you to shop online confidently.
one person who lived it
Wear nicely fit blazers to succeed at events, parties, and interviews.
It acts like a cheat code for these situations.
one person who lived it
When thrifting, pass on items made of poor materials and only buy things you love and feel great in.
This approach helped one person build a minimal wardrobe and avoid drowning in clothes.
one person who lived it
Avoid sexist theories found on YouTube and similar platforms.
Those theories are far from reality and will not help with social skills.
one person who lived it
Make an effort in your appearance to improve how you are perceived.
It puts you up a notch.
one person who lived it
Wear your best outfit when you feel reluctant to go out.
It makes you feel good to look good while outside.
one person who lived it
Work out regularly to build muscle and transform your physique.
Exercise can change your personality, boost confidence, and improve your appearance.
3 people, independently
Focus on discipline.
Confidence will rise up as a result.
one person who lived it
Stand upright and walk straight with confident but non-threatening posture.
Good posture helps you shine and presents you confidently.
one person who lived it
Work on side projects to scale up financially rather than trying to save from a low salary.
Inflation doesn't give a fuck
one person who lived it
Take small, steady steps to improve your career, social skills, and hobbies.
These gradual improvements can make you more attractive over time.
one person who lived it
Invest in classic clothes that last several years and remain fashionable regardless of current trends.
worth the cost IMHO
one person who lived it
Buy well-fitting clothes and nice trainers or shoes; they do not need to be expensive.
Nice footwear complements the outfit.
one person who lived it
Improve your personal appearance through physique, skincare, haircut, and clothes to feel good and potentially make friends at the gym.
Look good, feel good; it is the ultimate confidence hack.
one person who lived it
Opt out of wearing makeup or stick to very basic application.
You will stand out positively from women who wear full makeup.
one person who lived it
Focus on building your life and socializing with restraint while waiting for high-quality partners.
High-quality partners will come when you are ready.
one person who lived it
Make an extra effort to groom and dress nicely during stressful periods to boost confidence.
Looking good feels good and boosts happiness when things feel overwhelming.
one person who lived it
Organize clothes swaps with friends to try new styles without spending money.
It allows trying pieces without investment, which can be preferable to thrifting for some.
one person who lived it
Be happy, authentic, silly, and fun to attract others.
This attracts others.
one person who lived it
Set boundaries and calmly explain why you are enforcing them; if someone does not respect them after a while, cease interactions until they understand.
People are not psychic.
one person who lived it
Spend time trying on many items at discount stores like TJ Maxx or Ross to find well-fitting foundational pieces; if an item is cheap enough, tailor it for a better fit.
Tailoring makes the item look more expensive and can be cost-effective.
one person who lived it
Try on every item before buying and consider what existing wardrobe pieces it pairs with to avoid waste.
To avoid wasting money on items you never wear.
one person who lived it
Wear colorful clothes instead of dark colors to appear more approachable and friendly, though note that some people feel more respected in black or neutrals.
Dressing colorfully makes people think you are a fun person rather than a scary, boring loner; one person reported getting more looks and approaches from others after switching from grayscale to vibrant clothes.
- Some people feel more respected when wearing black or neutrals.
- Dress expectations vary by season.
one person who lived it
Keep promises as much as possible, especially those made to yourself.
9 people, independently
Buy second-hand clothes to experiment with new styles without financial pressure or guilt.
It removes the pressure and guilt of spending money on items you are unsure about.
one person who lived it
Dress for yourself to increase happiness and confidence, rather than seeking others' approval.
Liking how you look and feel makes you a happier person.
one person who lived it
Take up hobbies that provide creative output, such as reading, playing musical instruments, or carpentry.
It adds to your character.
one person who lived it
Do not dwell on rejection; accept it as a universal experience and live with it rather than regretting it.
Rejection happens to everybody.
one person who lived it
Cultivate a positive mindset with passions and dreams; avoid being a downer.
People enjoy being around positive people, which makes it easier for everyone to stay passionate.
2 people, independently
Focus on substance, attitude, and outlook over physical looks.
Substance is more attractive than a pretty face, and attitude can drastically improve how someone is perceived.
one person who lived it
Use the Kibbe method to determine your body type to help with choosing clothes, accessories, and makeup.
Determining your type helps with selecting these items.
one person who lived it
Dress for the position you want to get to accelerate promotions.
One person was promoted quickly over seasoned employees and felt it helped land their current job.
one person who lived it
Iron your clothes to improve their appearance.
It makes a difference in how the clothes look.
one person who lived it
Wear clothing that reflects your personality and makes you comfortable; one person found this attracts similar people, boosts confidence, and feels like self-love.
It acts as a non-verbal expression that attracts similar people and boosts confidence.
one person who lived it
Recognize that improved appearance can create a feedback loop of increased confidence and sociability.
People may take you more seriously and see you as more valuable to know, which contributes to the loop.
one person who lived it
Switch to fitted pants and shirts rather than oversized clothing.
Tailored fit can make a bigger difference than physical progress alone.
one person who lived it
Define your desired style concept with online examples before going thrifting.
Having ideas in mind helps you make more intentional choices.
one person who lived it
Build a wardrobe of basic skirts, pants, tops, and cardigans in neutral colors to simplify dressing and easily incorporate new pieces.
It makes mornings easier and allows you to wear new items with most existing clothes without thinking too hard.
one person who lived it
- Identify your favorite clothing brands and buy multiple colors of those specific items to simplify dressing.1
- Build your wardrobe around a foundation of versatile staple items.4
Use your 'good' dishes and silverware daily instead of saving them for company.
You get enjoyment out of your possessions.
one person who lived it
Buy higher-quality accessories like leather belts and bags second-hand rather than buying cheap plastic imitations.
Cheap accessories look cheap.
one person who lived it
Ensure you genuinely like what you are wearing to avoid paranoia and self-consciousness that negates the benefits of a style change.
Becoming paranoid and self-conscious will counteract any benefit from a style change.
one person who lived it
Grow in life and make friends, waiting for friendships to evolve naturally rather than chasing love.
one person who lived it
Be kind, funny, thoughtful, caring, and charitable.
Being a good person is appealing; specifically, kindness and humor are valued.
one person who lived it
Dress nicely to appear better looking.
People often appear better looking immediately because of how well they are dressed.
one person who lived it
Make minor changes to your usual uniform, such as better-fitting jeans or a patterned shirt, to catch people's eye.
Colleagues may notice the change and perceive you differently.
one person who lived it
Combine looks with excellence in other areas of life.
This combination is described as deadly effective.
one person who lived it
Observe what others in your local area are wearing to determine what is considered normal or appropriate for your context.
Outfit choices vary by location.
one person who lived it
Join group activities or hobbies that involve movement and social interaction, such as running clubs or cycling groups.
These activities can be motivating and fun.
one person who lived it
Try out different outfits, keeping only those that make you feel comfortable, happy, and confident.
it gives you confidence
one person who lived it
Ensure proper bra support and wear neutral or skin-colored bras under light or semi-sheer tops.
Good support changes how you look, and neutral colors keep a professional appearance under light fabrics.
one person who lived it
Coordinate your colors and groom yourself thoroughly rather than relying on brand names.
It makes anyone look better.
one person who lived it
Join groups like Toastmasters to practice public speaking in a safe, supportive environment.
Gaining experience communicating ideas to a group makes talking to one person much easier.
2 people, independently
Show interest by asking questions and reciprocating while being yourself.
It is attractive.
one person who lived it
Keep wearing fitted clothing even if it feels alien at first; the feeling of strangeness diminishes over time.
Repeated exposure makes fitted clothes feel less alien.
one person who lived it
Find comfort in discomfort and have confidence in your passions.
one person who lived it
Fake confidence by holding your head up and walking with purpose until you genuinely believe it.
Confidence is very attractive
2 people, independently
Avoid rushing into sex in early relationships to keep your decision-making clear.
It prevents the emotional and hormonal rush from confusing the situation or muddying the waters.
one person who lived it
Keep your living space and car clean, even if the items within them are modest.
A dirty home or spotless car in a messy environment is a turnoff; cleanliness matters more than expensive electronics or apartment size.
one person who lived it
Focus on controllable factors like fitness, grooming, posture, and clothing fit to improve physical attractiveness.
These factors are more important than natural good looks.
one person who lived it
Embrace your imperfections rather than hiding them.
Hiding flaws makes the situation worse and reveals your insecurity.
one person who lived it
Judge attractiveness by observing people in real-life relationships rather than relying on dating app profiles.
Dating apps are designed to be superficial.
one person who lived it
Use accessories like necklaces or specific shirts as conversation starters or confidence boosters.
Receiving compliments on these items can help you feel more confident.
one person who lived it
Carry yourself with awareness, maintain good posture and stride, love your story, and do not carry shame.
Understanding embodiment involves carrying yourself with awareness.
one person who lived it
Address visible injuries with humor or authenticity, acknowledging any embarrassment, while avoiding lewd or gory details.
People often appreciate the laugh and authenticity.
- Gauge how open the crowd is willing to be.
- Avoid lewd or gory details.
one person who lived it
Stick to a defined color palette that includes at least one neutral, ensuring all chosen colors coordinate with each other.
It simplifies outfit creation by allowing any item to pair with any other.
one person who lived it
Know your body measurements before shopping online.
It is helpful for successful online shopping.
one person who lived it
Practice active listening and respectful communication by asking questions and showing interest.
This builds better conversational skills and connection.
one person who lived it
Develop humor and articulate communication to make women laugh deeply.
Humor and confidence are highly attractive traits that can overcome other perceived disadvantages.
one person who lived it
Give compliments that are strictly platonic and appropriate by focusing on non-physical attributes.
Compliments about physical features are not appropriate.
one person who lived it
Deliver compliments on improved appearance by focusing on the current positive state rather than referencing past negative states.
Referencing how bad something was previously can make the recipient feel terrible.
one person who lived it
Wear formal or professional attire during oral exams or defenses to influence how examiners perceive you.
One examiner commented that the candidate looked like a doctor and subsequently gave them an easier time; conversely, another professor criticized a student for their presentation style.
one person who lived it
Adopt a capsule wardrobe philosophy to make edited, conscientious clothing choices.
It helps eliminate buyer's remorse because everything chosen is timeless.
one person who lived it
Build real confidence by practicing behaviors that initially feel fake.
4 people, independently
Research products before buying them to quickly determine if they meet your needs and avoid wasting money.
Minimal research is usually enough to identify unsuitable items.
one person who lived it
Wear items only if they boost your confidence, ignoring external pressure to follow trends or add specific elements like 'a pop of color'.
one person who lived it
Be transparent about visible injuries without trying to time the announcement.
Transparency is key.
one person who lived it
Develop charm by cultivating a unique personality, interests, and goals.
3 people, independently
Read books on communication and body language, such as '92 Tricks to Talk to Anyone', 'The Definitive Book of Body Language', and 'How to Make Friends and Influence People'.
one person who lived it
Cultivate patience, kindness, hard work, and empathy toward common struggles.
one person who lived it
Improve the appearance of inexpensive clothes by cutting loose threads, resewing loose buttons, and ironing flat puckered seams.
It hides sloppy manufacturing.
one person who lived it
Upgrade your home comfort with soft towels, a comfortable bed, and your specific morning tea to make returning home more appealing than vacation.
one person who lived it
Try different fashion styles to discover what works best for you specifically.
4 people, independently
Maintain an upright posture with shoulders pulled back, avoiding slouching.
7 people, independently

hair, grooming, haircut, clean15

Focus on hygiene by keeping your skin and hair cared for and your clothes clean and well-fitted.

Trim your beard to contour your face or shave cleanly.
Facial hair grooming works like makeup and can improve your look.
one person who lived it
- Get a clean haircut that suits your face shape and groom facial and body hair.1
Avoid appearing unkempt, such as having oily hair or wearing wrinkled shirts repeatedly.
Others may perceive you as a slob who cannot take care of themselves, leading them to talk to you less and look away faster.
one person who lived it
Get your hair done.
A fresh haircut or cleaning feels amazing.
one person who lived it
Focus on hygiene by keeping your skin and hair cared for and your clothes clean and well-fitted.
3 people, independently

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Use an oil treatment on frizzy hair to turn it into waves.
If hair is frizzy, it is probably waves.
one person who lived it
Shave your head completely if you are balding.
It comes off as a confident choice rather than an involuntary loss.
one person who lived it
Get a decent haircut instead of going cheap, which often results in looking awful.
Many people who go cheap end up looking awful.
one person who lived it
Maintain consistency in your grooming and self-care routine.
It helps you feel better about yourself and signals reliability to others who notice as you settle in.
one person who lived it
Maintain basic grooming habits like trimming nails and plucking stray hairs to signal that you care about yourself.
Grooming communicates self-care.
one person who lived it
Take responsibility by keeping your house clean, staying on top of bills, and maintaining hygiene.
It demonstrates maturity.
one person who lived it
Keep fingernails clipped, clean, and neat.
Neat nails are noticed by potential partners and contribute to overall grooming.
one person who lived it
Focus on grooming by getting massages and haircuts that include head shampoos and massages.
Grooming is really important!
one person who lived it
Shower before bed.
It removes daily grime and initiates the falling asleep process.
one person who lived it
Incorporate shampoo into your hair washing routine if you previously skipped it.
One person switched from never using shampoo to using specific brands, noting that cheaper store products can yield similar results.
one person who lived it

cologne, apply, person8

Use a nice perfume or cologne as part of self-care rituals to feel confident.
Spraying it on makes you feel good about yourself.
one person who lived it
Try new shampoos, soaps, deodorants, or candles every now and then to brighten your mood.
A new smell can boost confidence and improve attitude; one person felt like they were living a cleaner life with a new air freshener.
- Can cause a rash for people with sensitive skin.
one person who lived it
Apply 70% isopropyl alcohol to eliminate odor-causing bacteria.
It eliminates the bacteria that cause body odor.
- It is not an antiperspirant.
one person who lived it
Apply clear nail polish to shirt button thread shanks to prevent unraveling; if no spare button is provided, move a bottom button up.
It stops buttons from falling off.
one person who lived it

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Shower daily with a proper routine, use deodorant, and wear cologne.
Taking personal hygiene to the next level makes you much more attractive.
one person who lived it
Address bad smells immediately rather than hiding them, as they likely indicate an underlying issue.
Something is probably wrong if something smells.
one person who lived it
Apply shower gel or body wash daily instead of relying solely on water or bar soap.
One person adopted this habit, noting that supermarket body wash works similarly to expensive brands.
one person who lived it
Wear a pleasant scent or cologne to leave a positive impression on colleagues and strangers.
One former colleague remembered the person years later primarily because they always smelled amazing; another received compliments from dozens of strangers and acquaintances when wearing Aqua Di Gio cologne.
one person who lived it

skin, skincare, huge, products18

Focus skincare purchases on caring for the skin you have rather than trying to change it.
Skin appreciates care.
one person who lived it
Use less skincare product to allow your skin to breathe.
There is less product to clog pores.
one person who lived it
Stand up straight to make your face look thinner.
Standing up straight makes the face look thinner.
one person who lived it
Try microneedle eye patches if you struggle with under-eye bags or crepey skin.
One person found they made a huge difference for these issues.
one person who lived it

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Ask for free makeup samples at Sephora or Nordstrom, especially on non-busy days.
They may give you products if you go when it is not busy.
one person who lived it
Practice skincare to feel incredible about yourself.
Good supple skin makes one feel incredible.
one person who lived it
Use retinol or retinal for long-term facial skin improvement.
It is totally worth it.
one person who lived it
Use a simple routine of mascara, BB cream, and lipstick for a put-together look with low effort.
It creates a huge change in appearance with minimal effort.
one person who lived it
Use Aquaphor, Vaseline, or Neutrogena Lip/nose balm for dry lips instead of standard lip balms.
Standard lip balms may worsen dryness over time, while these options are concentrated, highly repairing, and leave lips soft by morning.
one person who lived it
Use quick grooming fixes like beard oil, concealer, mascara, pulled-back hair, and accessories.
They make a huge difference and help you look ready for the day quickly.
one person who lived it
Perform a patch test when introducing new skincare products.
To prevent bad reactions.
one person who lived it
Start with less expensive beauty products; if they work, you avoid the temptation of higher prices, as many cheap, simpler products are effective.
Simpler products with fewer ingredients often perform well.
one person who lived it
Hydrate and chemically exfoliate your skin properly.
This reportedly resolves most dullness, dryness, and breakouts.
one person who lived it
Rub an ice cube over your face to reduce redness and inflammation.
Estheticians recommend this for anti-aging as well.
one person who lived it
Adopt a skincare routine to treat acne and razor bumps.
Skincare contributes to overall attractiveness.
- A skincare routine will not reposition eyes, symmetrize the face, or change bone structure; only surgery can do that.
one person who lived it
Use Johnson's Baby Powder as a cheaper alternative to face powder.
Much cheaper
one person who lived it
Maintain basic skin hygiene by using only sunscreen, cleanser, and moisturizer.
to keep your skin looking good
one person who lived it
Maintain moderate or no alcohol consumption, do not smoke, and practice good grooming, skincare, diet, and exercise.
one person who lived it

Strengthen weak muscles in the front neck, upper back/shoulders, and hips to fix slouching caused by tech neck, hunchback, or shrimp sit.
Slouching occurs where muscles are weak; strengthening them makes slouching feel weird once they get stronger.
one person who lived it

Avoid missing two days in a row to prevent breaking your habit.
Missing one day happens occasionally, but missing two days is the start of breaking a habit.
one person who lived it
Do not quit self-improvement habits during the initial uncomfortable weeks or months.
The first few weeks or months are the hardest part, similar to learning a new skill; once you become comfortable, you are almost there.
one person who lived it