Attitude
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Talk to more people and gather perspectives to see what they care about.
There's more to life than your current view.
one person who lived it
Perform good acts in person to cultivate virtue.
Virtue comes from practice.
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Stop consuming 'red pill' content if it causes you to adopt a persona that feels monstrous.
The persona being played can take over who you are in reality.
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Make friends with people of different races to break down mental barriers and overcome prejudiced conditioning.
Spending time with others who are different helps you change how you view them.
3 people, independently
Find common ground with others to humanize them rather than viewing them as a faceless group.
It helps you see them as people instead of a large, faceless group.
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people, women, person, helps32
Do not let online hate speech define your perception of reality or specific genders.
Be open to hearing anger and pain from those affected by racism as part of the growth process.
Avoiding the pain racism creates prevents genuine growth.
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Visit places like churches, libraries, or grocery stores to meet a broader range of women.
It helps counter the extreme thinking that half of humanity deserves hate by exposing you to the majority of women who aren't that one type.
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Read bell hooks or similar authors.
It is good for noticing systemic issues.
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Avoid self-blame for conditioned thoughts, recognizing they are beyond your control, and focus instead on resolving the issue.
You have no control over your initial thoughts.
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Do not let online hate speech define your perception of reality or specific genders.
Online hate often reflects individual insecurities rather than generalizations of most people, who are generally chill in real life.
- The internet environment is described as 'fucked'
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Use philosophy to find peace and adopt a model of right and wrong that fits you, rather than to prove you are right or feel superior.
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Practice daily gratitude by noting even small things to shift your perspective away from entitlement.
It helps realign feelings.
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Read books on feminism to validate personal experiences and understand systemic issues.
Educating yourself helps you feel wise rather than angry and prevents you from feeling crazy.
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Recognize that thinking about women in a 'preposterous' manner is backwards and flawed.
The term 'preposterous' stems from Latin meaning 'ass-backwards', which is described as a fitting descriptor for this way of thinking.
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Interact with women in everyday settings to realize they are just people like everyone else, rather than fitting stereotypes.
Seeing and interacting with them directly helped one person realize they are not weird or creepy, but simply people.
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Do not expect a partner to pay for everything or cater to every whim.
Such expectations create entitled and spoiled dynamics.
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Join online communities focused on unlearning classist or racist views.
One person reported this made them more sensitive to others and helped them realize their previous thoughts were offensive.
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Focus on repeated daily behaviors rather than intentions or potential.
Life mostly responds to repeated behavior.
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Avoid starting sentences with 'I'm not racist, but...' because listeners will likely perceive you as racist.
The word 'but' negates everything stated previously, causing the listener to automatically think you are racist.
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Actively seek new social environments, such as different workplaces or clubs, to meet people who do not fit your negative stereotypes.
One person realized better people were out there after working shifts in different stores and meeting driven, funny women.
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Recognize that people who hurt you are distinct people, not representatives of their entire gender.
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Focus on building self-love and confidence rather than relying solely on specific attraction niches.
Personality attracts, and self-confidence is a major factor.
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Recognize that your character is defined by your reflective second thoughts, not the automatic ones indoctrinated by society.
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Continuously absorb information about power structures and avoid feeling like you have hit a plateau in your understanding.
Understanding these structures is neither easy nor quick.
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Apply logical reasoning to societal matters by recognizing that empathy is a form of logic.
Empathy is described as being 'only logical'.
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Delete or curate social media accounts to stop algorithms from reinforcing negative views about the opposite gender.
Algorithms can reinforce negative thinking by showing only negative things.
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Address both men's and women's inequalities simultaneously.
Treating them as mutually exclusive is a false dichotomy.
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Understand that the Red Pill movement is largely perceived as something other than self-improvement, despite its stated goals.
Followers acknowledge it is barely about self-improvement.
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Take up stereotypically feminine activities, such as visiting hair salons or exploring makeup, to connect with accomplished women who share those interests.
You will discover that many women who do these things are also very accomplished.
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Listen actively to people to discover unique things about them.
This benefits social skills and satisfies curiosity about psychology, psychiatry, and philosophy.
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Listen to audio books and autobiographies about other people's struggles.
It provides perspective and changes mindset.
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Avoid assuming all women behave according to cynical stereotypes, as this belief can lead to cynicism and disengagement.
- This is based on one person's experience of quitting due to cynicism.
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Choose your identity through every daily action, recognizing that childhood teachings do not dictate your current choices.
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Watch the Stanford Behavioral Biology course to reexamine beliefs about human nature.
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Stop referencing past experiences or generalizations about women; tune into the specific person in front of you in this moment.
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Recognize that disliking others' cultural expressions in public spaces may indicate a desire for them to hide their identity.
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Educate yourself by reading anti-racist literature and history, such as 'The Color of Law', to understand the historical context of racial relations.
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Stop using small penis jokes or shaming language, as such comments can cause lasting body image problems.
One mean comment about genitalia as a teenager can lead to body image issues for a while.
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Avoid labeling people as 'low value,' as this language is dehumanizing and objectifying.
It resembles red pill/PUA ideology applied to women.
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Avoid using dehumanizing slang that reduces men to their genitalia.
It mirrors the objectification many find unacceptable when directed at themselves.
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