Attraction
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Wear dark colors that match each other, such as grey shirts with black pants or black shirts with dark blue pants.
You won't look bad.
- You probably won't impress anyone.
one person who lived it
Maintain interests, goals, and problems you are solving so your life does not revolve around attracting others.
This fullness signals that you do not need others to complete you.
one person who lived it
Create a safe, improved version of yourself to attract partners rather than chasing them.
Like creating a garden for butterflies, it takes work but makes others feel safe.
one person who lived it
Put yourself out there and chase in the beginning, as someone has to initiate for a relationship to exist.
Dating is part of personal growth.
one person who lived it
Listen deeply and reply without rushing to stand out as someone who cares.
Deep attention is rare and powerful.
one person who lived it
Practice social embarrassment and failure with strangers you are unlikely to see again to overcome the fear of embarrassment.
Doing embarrassing things in low-stakes situations can help you get over the fear.
- This is described as sounding stupid but saved one person.
one person who lived it
Stop filling silence and let it sit.
Comfortable silence is confidence.
one person who lived it
Wait two seconds after someone finishes talking before responding.
This simple fix helps manage conversation flow.
one person who lived it
Take up genuine hobbies or activities you enjoy to naturally attract like-minded people who share those interests.
People will talk about your unique interests, connecting you with others who share them.
one person who lived it
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Dress with intentional contrast, such as pairing rugged items with fitted ones, to create visual interest.
This principle builds charisma.
one person who lived it
Get lost in your passion for a subject to indirectly communicate positive emotion and confidence.
Feeling alive and shining through passion communicates a positive emotion and your level of confidence.
one person who lived it