Career
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Read 'So Good They Can't Ignore You' by Cal Newport.
I think you'll find it valuable.
4 people, independently
Stop looking back at lost time and focus on the present.
The past time is gone.
3 people, independently
Consider going back to school or starting a new career path in your 30s or later.
One person reported becoming happy and loving their job after doing so.
- This is based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Accept that not knowing your path at a young age is normal; give yourself time to mature.
People in their 50s are often in the same situation, so it is okay.
one person who lived it
Try random things and drop them if they don't feel right.
One person found this helped them figure out what they didn't want.
- Based on one person's retrospective experience.
one person who lived it
passion, time, often, focus80
Focus on your strengths rather than trying to fix weaknesses.
Do not spend excessive time at work.
No one regrets it on their deathbed.
one person who lived it
Ask yourself what you love enough to do even if you are bad at it, instead of asking what you are good at.
This question provides clarity.
one person who lived it
Focus on your strengths rather than trying to fix weaknesses.
13 people, independently
Replace 'fake it until you make it' with 'face it until you make it'.
Faking it leads to burnout or being exposed.
one person who lived it
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Do not quit jobs in rage; wait until you have calmed down.
Quitting in rage was not good.
one person who lived it
Set small dreams, such as getting out of debt or owning a home, to provide direction and satisfaction.
Small dreams give you plenty to work on.
one person who lived it
Write down your worst-case scenario in a journal and create options from there.
It sets you free, gives you more courage in daily actions, and positively impacts results.
one person who lived it
Choose a direction and fake it until you make it rather than waiting to discover it.
You do not discover your path; you choose it.
one person who lived it
Identify your strengths, select one, and master it.
4 people, independently
Reject the shame of feeling behind; recognize you are simply on a different timeline.
Shame lies to you.
one person who lived it
Start Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to learn a new skill, join a community, and feel part of something.
It is hard work but worth it for the sense of belonging and new hobbies.
one person who lived it
Break large goals into tiny, bite-sized steps and make lists of small plans to spark joy and avoid exhaustion.
Looking at the big picture is exhausting, while small plans motivate more.
one person who lived it
Create a routine to maintain sanity.
Routines can be the last strand of sanity, even if everyone hates them.
one person who lived it
Start doing the actual work immediately instead of waiting for a specific bank account number or the right opportunity.
Waiting for these conditions never results in things clicking into place; realizing you have control is when real change happens.
one person who lived it
Switch to fields where you have a better chance of success if your original path is blocked.
one person who lived it
Recognize that post-graduation stagnation often stems from losing external structure and feedback loops rather than a lack of drive.
The system that made progress obvious is gone.
one person who lived it
Focus on concrete actions rather than words to rebuild trust and achieve self-reliance.
Concrete actions do more than words and provide the feeling of being self-reliant.
one person who lived it
Use quarantine or downtime for self-improvement so the person who emerges is better than the one who entered.
The effects will compound.
one person who lived it
Focus on creativity and following your passions over parental pressure to hustle for wealth.
Hustling for wealth can have negative effects on well-being.
one person who lived it
Do simple chores to gain a sense of control and achieve easy wins.
It gives you control over a situation you feel you do well at.
one person who lived it
Fix your daily routine and get the most from your day, trusting that your broader life direction will resolve itself over time.
Focusing on maximizing your day allows the rest of your life to follow.
one person who lived it
Stop studying further if you feel you have done enough; focus on gaining experience instead.
Your brain knows when you have done enough.
one person who lived it
Seek life experiences outside your current environment and comfort zone to help find your way.
New experiences can provide crucial clarity on direction.
3 people, independently
Recognize that no matter what path you choose, your state of mind matters more.
one person who lived it
Pursue opportunities even if you feel unready, as most people are improvising.
The worst outcome is learning from failure, while the best opens new doors.
one person who lived it
Be prepared to study and learn subjects that do not align with your interests to reach your desired destination.
Reaching your goals often requires learning things that do not gel with you.
one person who lived it
Love what you do by being present, conscious, and effective in your current role.
one person who lived it
Accept that forcing yourself to study difficult subjects is normal and does not mean you lack passion.
Studying generally sucks and everyone reaches a limit of their comfort zone where they must push through.
one person who lived it
Measure your passion by the level of excitement you feel when hearing new things about a topic.
The level of excitement tells a lot about your true interest.
one person who lived it
Persist when learning difficult subjects, as quitting often occurs near the end due to exhaustion.
Many students quit towards the end when they are exhausted.
one person who lived it
If you have already entered a field, work there to earn money and happiness instead of waiting for an unknown passion to appear.
Waiting for an unknown passion to manifest means you will wait forever.
one person who lived it
Ignore family pressure to start a family or buy a house immediately; take your own time.
Pressure from parents makes you sadder.
one person who lived it
Learn to love problems and propose action plans before being asked.
Solving bigger problems opens doors for evolution.
one person who lived it
Practice discipline consistently, understanding that it will transform into passion over time.
The pull of passion often shows up after spending time with something, not before.
one person who lived it
- Passion often develops through dedicated time and effort rather than appearing naturally; it grows as you gain experience and achieve things.3
Use accountability partners by making a detailed task list, setting deadlines, and reporting progress to them.
You must face your partner and explain how you did by the next update.
one person who lived it
Redirect time spent pitying yourself into studying to acquire new professional skills, such as information technology.
One person reasoned that having time to pity themselves meant they had time to study.
one person who lived it
Read 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield for inspiration on handling rejection.
It makes great points about rejection and is very inspiring.
one person who lived it
Accept that you do not need to 'be somebody,' have a calling, or leave a legacy to live well.
one person who lived it
Secure disability insurance to protect your income-producing asset.
People often insure assets like houses and cars but neglect insuring the source of their income.
one person who lived it
Accept being below average in certain areas if it allows you to relentlessly pursue excellence in one primary goal.
one person who lived it
Spend time on charity work to shift focus away from yourself.
Focusing entirely on oneself can be unmotivating.
one person who lived it
Avoid environments where you are the 'best' at everything, as this can cause you to stop progressing altogether.
being the 'best' at everything led one person to stop progressing all together
one person who lived it
Dig deeper into your hobbies to identify the underlying motivations and feelings behind why you like them.
It is a good starting point for finding motivation.
one person who lived it
Build passion through repeated engagement and skill development rather than searching for a pre-existing calling.
Passion is built, not found; it emerges only after becoming really good at something through neural pathway development.
2 people, independently
- Reject the idea of finding one innate passion without effort; instead, develop interest and skills through deep work and deliberate practice.1
Keep trying new things and exploring various options rather than fixating on a single dream.
Focusing on one passion risks negativity and upset from putting all your eggs in one basket, while exploring multiple ideas generally leads to an easier life.
one person who lived it
Remain open and at peace so that opportunities can find you.
Passions are described as actively seeking you out if you are open to them.
one person who lived it
If you are paralyzed by indecision about your passion, finish your degree instead of doing nothing.
Indecision can lead to inaction, and you are nearly done with your education.
one person who lived it
Normalize error by recognizing that high success often correlates with having made many mistakes.
A VP of a Fortune 1000 company attributed his success to making way more mistakes than others.
one person who lived it
Focus on activities that bring peace over those that bring excitement.
Excitement can be added later, but finding peace is difficult.
one person who lived it
Visualize the worst-case scenario of trying something new; if it does not involve death and you can recover from it, go ahead and try.
one person who lived it
Practice discipline by comparing yourself only to who you were yesterday, rather than to others or pursuing fame.
Pursuing fame is the opposite of this disciplined self-comparison.
one person who lived it
Periodically sharpen your skills to avoid blunting your efforts and burning out.
Failure to do so leads to reduced productivity.
one person who lived it
Build your career slowly and consistently, accepting that effort compounds over time.
Effort compounded over time for one person who started really slowly.
one person who lived it
Complete additional training to build competence, which may help override feelings of inadequacy.
Feeling more competent can help override the belief that you are not good enough.
one person who lived it
Define your own life goals and vision before seeking a partner, rather than adopting a partner's goals.
one person who lived it
Ensure you are stable and healthy on your own before entering a romantic relationship.
4 people, independently
Build study habits gradually rather than pushing too hard initially.
It is similar to building up gym sessions over time.
one person who lived it
Pursue your curiosity and excitement, as these may signal what you are meant to engage with rather than blocking yourself from it.
one person who lived it
Accept that progress happens slowly and advance through small, incremental steps.
3 people, independently
Build competence through small wins to increase confidence and deepen engagement.
Small wins lead to increased confidence, which allows for greater challenges, deeper engagement, and better skills.
one person who lived it
If everything feels hard, re-work out whether you truly like the subject; you may be forcing yourself into a field where your talents lie elsewhere.
one person who lived it
Accept that not everyone can reach the top of competitive fields; failing to do so is often due to luck rather than personal failure.
one person who lived it
Avoid comparing your early work to people who have practiced since childhood, as this fuels perfectionism and discouragement.
Comparing yourself to long-term practitioners makes you feel untalented and adds a dose of perfectionism.
one person who lived it
Distinguish between passion, which is novel, and purpose, which nourishes the soul.
one person who lived it
Consider that having many interests without deep mastery in one is difficult to accept, even if it feels self-evident.
5 people, independently
Limit planning to 5-10 minutes before proceeding to execution.
After that, you are accumulating too much data.
one person who lived it
Recognize that enjoying non-productive activities or doing nothing is a valid personal passion, even if society rejects it because it does not generate income.
The concept of passion has been corrupted by societal pressure to monetize everything.
one person who lived it
Take an aptitude test to identify your natural abilities rather than relying solely on interests.
Aptitude tests measure abilities rather than interests; finding what you're good at means you'll likely enjoy it.
one person who lived it
Develop excellence in whatever you choose to do, as this leads to happiness regardless of whether it is your ultimate passion.
one person who lived it
Treat mindfulness as a state-of-being and a way of existing in real time with heightened self-awareness moment to moment, rather than a separate activity.
one person who lived it
Read 'Why Greatness Cannot Be Planned' to challenge the widespread culture of rigid objectives.
one person who lived it
Recognize that avoiding studying leads to a harder life with lower pay, crushing mortgages, and stress.
one person who lived it
Show up and give your effort in the moment while patiently getting to know yourself honestly, unashamedly, and lovingly.
one person who lived it
Work on cultivating interest in things over time rather than waiting to discover a pre-existing passion.
one person who lived it
Listen to inspirational audio repeatedly so it becomes accessible in moments of need.
Repeated listening gets into your subconscious.
one person who lived it
View money as energy used to further personal development rather than just savings.
one person who lived it
Ensure your pursuit is driven by enjoyment of the activity itself, not egoic motivations like recognition or getting rich.
one person who lived it
If you struggle with choosing a focus, identify the subject you inevitably return to despite avoiding it or losing interest, and concentrate on that.
one person who lived it
person, job, career, reported35
Volunteer across different organizations and events to identify your interests and strengths.
Consider changing your field of study if feasible, after reflecting on what truly passions you.
It is normal to change your mind about your area of study.
- Only if it is feasible
one person who lived it
Join a mentorship group or find a private mentor.
One person described joining a mentorship group as life-changing.
- This is based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Choose a stable, well-paying job you are decent at to support passions that do not pay the bills.
Stability provides freedom from pressure; turning passions into survival mode kills joy.
one person who lived it
- Focus on finding a job you are competent in and do not dislike that supports a comfortable lifestyle, rather than strictly following passion.1
If you are burned out and lack passion for your career path, read 'So Good They Can't Ignore You' by Cal Newport.
It helped one person who couldn't decide what to do next gain a different perspective.
one person who lived it
- Read Cal Newport's book 'So Good They Can't Ignore You' for analysis on career pathways and alternatives to relying on pre-existing passion.1
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If you dislike what you are doing, stop doing it and do something different immediately.
Your life is not wasted unless you are dead or dying.
one person who lived it
Work in a stable field like HR to gain perspectives on people, while keeping hobbies like gaming active in small doses to manage boredom and failure thoughts.
It provides many perspectives on people and helps kill boredom and failure thoughts.
one person who lived it
If a job is poisoning your mind, body, and relationships, transition to a career that aligns with your true calling.
Following your true calling improved my life; leaving a toxic environment allowed me to feel fantastic every day.
one person who lived it
Volunteer.
One person reported it changed their life.
one person who lived it
Write down your strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and what you want to avoid in your next career.
One person found this helped them clarify their direction.
one person who lived it
Change your career path or major if you hate your current one, accepting that it might feel like failure initially but leads to being yourself.
Walking away from something you truly hated felt like failure initially, but led to zero regrets and finally starting to be yourself.
one person who lived it
Shift to work you enjoy, even if it pays less initially, and study daily to become good at it.
This approach brings happiness despite lower income.
one person who lived it
Lie on your bed and visualize yourself in various jobs sequentially until you find one you like.
One person used this method to decide on becoming a dentist.
one person who lived it
Consider manual labor or outdoor work, such as farming, if you crave clear outcomes and a connection to nature.
This desire may be your brain signaling a need for manual work and clear outcomes.
one person who lived it
Seek a seated or hybrid job to make work easier on your body.
one person who lived it
Accept that you can be happy with a job you are not passionate about if it challenges you, pays enough, and has good colleagues.
one person who lived it
Work to create an impact in other people's lives rather than working solely for promotions.
People will remember the impact you made, not your promotions or lavish accommodations.
one person who lived it
Treat dissatisfaction with your major or job as useful information to pivot toward what you enjoy and are good at.
Knowing what you do not enjoy provides data to guide your next move.
one person who lived it
Join Young Professionals networking groups to make connections.
It paid dividends in the author's life.
one person who lived it
Accept a job you are not interested in if you are desperate for income and stability.
One person reported that their situation finally changed when they accepted a job they weren't interested in at all due to desperation.
one person who lived it
Seek a role that you love and that challenges you to avoid disengagement.
One person reported never having problems after finding such a job.
one person who lived it
Find mentors early in your career or education to accelerate progress.
One person reported they could have made more progress if they had found mentors earlier.
one person who lived it
Find work you are genuinely interested in and passionate about.
It helped immensely for one person.
one person who lived it
Do what you love instead of holding onto a job solely for the money.
one person who lived it
Get a job, any job.
It provides structure, stabilizes you, and prevents feelings of worthlessness.
one person who lived it
Volunteer somewhere to discover what you like and dislike about jobs.
It helps you understand your job preferences.
one person who lived it
- Volunteer across different organizations and events to identify your interests and strengths.3
If you find that you enjoy research more than clinical practice, pursue a career in research.
one person who lived it
Use the dissatisfaction of a hated job to prevent yourself from becoming comfortable with a stagnant life.
Hatred for the situation kept the person from becoming comfortable with their life.
one person who lived it
Abandon the pressure to decide your entire life path at 18; remain open to unexpected career changes later in life.
one person who lived it
Quit jobs or situations that do not deserve your energy and redirect that energy to things that matter to you.
one person who lived it
View finding purpose as an endless journey of jumping between spaces that bring joy, rather than pigeonholing yourself into one career.
one person who lived it
Reframe careers and relationships as constructs of infinite possible actions rather than fixed states you possess.
one person who lived it
Use rejections and unsuitable jobs to identify what environments drain you versus what energizes you, treating them as data points rather than failures.
one person who lived it
money, career, job, school28
Consider attending trade school or pursuing on-the-job training instead of traditional degrees.
Pursue side skills or non-core classes you enjoy, as they can lead to career changes and jobs you love.
One person found a required class enjoyable, made it a hobby, changed their major, and now loves their job.
one person who lived it
Acquire a tradable skill.
It could go far.
one person who lived it
Take a year off to work if you cannot decide on a major in time, rather than going to school immediately.
School is expensive.
one person who lived it
Consider getting a Commercial Driver's License (CDL) as it is a faster way to start working.
It is faster to start up.
one person who lived it
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Get a job to gain independence, even if you don't strictly need the money yet.
It gave me independence.
one person who lived it
Finish your current degree strongly even if it isn't your passion.
You have already stuck with it and are nearly done; completing it is crucial.
one person who lived it
Start from the bottom in a normal job to learn focus, work ethic, and time management under supervision.
It helps you reshape your mind and learn a skill.
one person who lived it
Pursue remote freelance work if your local legal status blocks traditional employment.
Local legal status wouldn't block remote freelance work the same way.
one person who lived it
Use a law degree to supplement an existing career in business or finance.
It can make you more attractive in fields like business or finance.
one person who lived it
Study for IT certifications instead of driving Uber for a living.
It can lead to obtaining multiple certifications and a six-figure job.
one person who lived it
Enroll in a four-year course instead of a two-year one if employers in your country reject shorter qualifications, and continue enrolling in trainings and seminars after graduating.
To reach career goals when local companies do not accept applicants who just finished a two-year course.
one person who lived it
Read books on raising money and explore freelancing to build your portfolio.
Freelancing can help get projects into your folio.
one person who lived it
Visit a guidance counselor at a local school for free career advice.
They are helpful and encouraging.
one person who lived it
Persuade your parents to let you get a job.
It offers benefits regarding independence and money.
one person who lived it
Self-study skills like programming to enter high-demand fields, even in your early 30s.
one person who lived it
Take any available job, even temporary or low-skill work, to generate income.
to get some money in
one person who lived it
Attend tech college for a degree ending in 'technologist' related to your previous studies.
This allows you to climb the career ladder much faster than general technicians.
one person who lived it
Maintain good grades to keep career doors open, even if you believe your desired path does not require them.
Grades open doors, and shutting them off prematurely limits options if circumstances change.
one person who lived it
Consider becoming a school bus driver.
This role offers local work, steady hours, and the ability to attend school at night simultaneously.
one person who lived it
Earn money from a job that is not your main passion so you can dedicate your remaining time to exploring what you truly love.
one person who lived it
Gain experience through volunteering, hobbies, or self-taught skills.
Any experience counts as experience.
one person who lived it
Get any full-time job to establish daily structure and build your resume.
It provides a necessary routine and professional experience.
one person who lived it
Consider bar tending early to generate fun money separate from your main job income.
One person used his bar money for his fun money while keeping a big boy job
one person who lived it
Take security guard jobs to earn money while using the free time to study and improve skills in your desired field.
one person who lived it
Consider attending trade school or pursuing on-the-job training instead of traditional degrees.
3 people, independently
Choose a university course like engineering or business/economics that teaches practical systems thinking to keep professional options open.
These courses give the most options afterwards.
one person who lived it
Choose an interdisciplinary field of study or work to satisfy a need for variety across multiple topics.
Interdisciplinary fields allow exploration of various topics.
one person who lived it
If you decide not to pursue a law degree after earning a bachelor's in accounting, do not feel disappointed; view it as a massive achievement and an impressive career.
one person who lived it
raise, person, job12
Give a new job two weeks before deciding if you hate it, even if the first day is terrible.
One person reported sticking out the first day and later loving the job with promotions and raises.
one person who lived it
Do not expect your workplace to be loyal to you, and do not be loyal to them in return.
They are not loyal to you.
one person who lived it
Seek entry-level jobs with clear, fast promotion paths, such as retail management, to gain income and skills quickly.
One person went from making $14 an hour to becoming a manager making $24 an hour within a year.
one person who lived it
Consider switching companies for a raise, as staying put may only yield small annual increases.
One person experienced a 50% raise upon moving companies, compared to 1-3% per year for staying.
one person who lived it
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Accept any available job, such as at McDonald's or in a warehouse, to secure immediate income while searching for more suitable vacancies.
Having an income allows you to switch jobs when a better opportunity arises.
one person who lived it
Work hard and keep a balanced life without giving up, accepting that hard work increases chances but does not guarantee success.
Hard work provides more opportunities, though it is not a guarantee of success.
one person who lived it
Demonstrate your potential for future contributions and leadership when seeking a raise.
Promotions and raises are based on future value as well as past performance.
one person who lived it
Before requesting a raise, clearly articulate your accomplishments and future responsibilities to justify why you deserve it.
If you cannot answer clearly why you deserve a raise, you should not make the request.
one person who lived it
Take job hunting seriously and start applying early rather than waiting until the last minute.
one person who lived it
Consider loading trucks as a gig alternative to minimum wage customer service, acknowledging that it involves working in the heat.
It pays better than minimum wage customer service.
one person who lived it
Update your resume quarterly to document your results.
It prepares you for new opportunities.
one person who lived it
Keep a running record of work accomplishments to ensure major contributions are not forgotten when updating resumes or completing annual reviews.
It makes it easy to update resumes and complete annual reviews with tangible items that might otherwise be forgotten.
one person who lived it
jobs, military, gain, job12
Pursue long-haul jobs in city, county, government, or military sectors and stick with them.
After about 10 years, you may reach middle management or higher with an acceptable wage.
one person who lived it
Take jobs you are not excited about, especially if you are unemployed.
This helps you gain experience and figure out what you want faster.
one person who lived it
Take any available job, including menial tasks like dishwashing or cleaning, if other options fail.
Long periods of unemployment can look like laziness to employers.
one person who lived it
Enroll in free workforce training programs offered by local organizations like Goodwill or county work source centers to gain mechanical skills and access career counseling.
These programs can provide training, a completion gift card, and years of access to a career counselor.
one person who lived it
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Seek work in construction, landscaping, handyman services, plumbing, or sewage maintenance.
These jobs are often viewed as too hard by others, and plumbers and sewage workers tend to earn decent wages.
one person who lived it
Get a job to gain money, independence, and perspective on manual labor.
It provides financial independence and shows how difficult manual labor is if you do not take action.
one person who lived it
Be open and honest on your resume rather than lying about your experience.
Employers verify employment history to avoid hiring liars.
one person who lived it
Research recruiter tactics and ensure any military job you pick transfers to civilian roles.
Military jobs often lack required civilian certifications or licenses, and civilians will not hire you without them regardless of what recruiters say.
one person who lived it
- Look up job equivalents for your military role and obtain necessary licenses and certificates before leaving the service.1
Apply for regular jobs to gain structure and income rather than pursuing streaming or content creation.
Streaming offers unreliable income in a saturated environment with little return on time investment, whereas regular jobs lead to a normal life.
one person who lived it
Differentiate yourself in your CV by including hobbies, volunteer work, or other unique experiences rather than just standard qualifications.
Trust can be valuable, and you should ensure your offering isn't a carbon copy of others.
one person who lived it
Update your LinkedIn profile and CV, post on job portals, and scan newspaper classifieds for opportunities.
Nothing is lost by increasing the number of opportunities seen by people who might not otherwise check them.
one person who lived it
skills, development9
If you know HTML and CSS, learn JavaScript web development to stand out from the crowd of Python learners.
JavaScript is in demand and less crowded than Python.
one person who lived it
Consider online computer training, such as Azure via Pluralsight, to gain employable skills.
It can lead to contracting jobs with companies like Microsoft.
one person who lived it
Explore User Experience (UX) Design if you want to work in software development without coding skills.
It is a fast-growing field.
one person who lived it
Pick one programming language, such as Java, and stick to it.
Java is considered the most universal.
one person who lived it
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Focus on developing skills, talent, attitude, and willingness to be effective rather than just acquiring degrees or objects.
Progress and advancement depends more importantly on how to do things than just knowing what to do.
one person who lived it
Commit time to learning discernible skills through classes, YouTube, or books.
Lack of discernible skills is often a primary area needing improvement.
one person who lived it
Study for certifications to prepare for potential economic downturns and ensure employability.
To make sure one has enough skills to keep a job if the economy gets bad.
one person who lived it
Obtain online certifications in areas like analytics or data to improve your resume's appearance.
They make you look good.
one person who lived it
Focus on specific technologies listed in job descriptions for web development roles to guide your learning.
Looking at technologies in listings helps guide what to focus on in studies.
one person who lived it
Build rapport during interviews to determine if a potential boss is a good, genuine person.
You will know immediately if they are genuine.
one person who lived it
Start talking to employers in your field before graduation so you can begin interviewing immediately after the holidays.
This ensures you are interviewing in January once Christmas and New Year pass, rather than waiting.
one person who lived it
Maintain eye contact during interviews to show confidence and that you are listening.
It shows the interviewer you are listening and have confidence.
one person who lived it
Visit your alma mater's campus during interview season to connect with companies.
Legitimate companies often visit schools with good reputations.
one person who lived it