Going easier on yourself

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Focus only on what you can control and compare yourself only to yourself.

    Focusing on others prevents you from realizing your own accomplishments.

    7 people, independently

  2. See yourself as the one listening to your inner voice, not the one speaking it.

    4 people, independently

  3. Strive to be better than your past self rather than trying to be better than others.

    One person found this approach increased their confidence.

    3 people, independently

  4. Interpret feeling cringe about your former self as a sign of personal development, maturity, and the wish to improve.

    Cringe indicates dissatisfaction with past behavior and recognition that you have learned to do things differently.

    9 people, independently

  5. Laugh at your past mistakes instead of feeling shame.

    It emphasizes your development and can make for the best stories.

    3 people, independently

  1. Change your outlook if you cannot change your circumstances.

    4 people, independently

  2. Control your reaction to other people's behavior since you cannot change how they behave.

    3 people, independently

  3. Ask yourself if you can do something about the issue; if yes, act instead of worrying; if no, stop worrying because you cannot change the outcome.

    5 people, independently

  4. Remind yourself that others likely do not remember or care about your past embarrassing moments as much as you do.

    13 people, independently

9 more on this
  1. Uninstall social networking apps and drastically cut back on usage of sites like Facebook and Instagram.

    These platforms display curated, often staged highlights that trigger subconscious comparisons, pulling your focus away from your own journey.

    5 people, independently

  2. Redirect jealousy into inspiration by adopting the mindset that if others can succeed, you can too.

    5 people, independently

  3. Put yourself in scenarios where rejection is likely, doing this often until the fear fades.

    4 people, independently

  4. When feeling overwhelmed or teary, drink small amounts of water or eat something to halt the urge to cry.

    3 people, independently

  5. Acknowledge that past events are unchangeable and direct your energy toward improving current behavior.

    19 people, independently

  6. Keep your mind occupied with hobbies, reading, writing, or working out.

    4 people, independently

  7. Take deep breaths and step back to manage emotional reactivity.

    4 people, independently

  8. Habitually train yourself for continuous improvement instead of waiting for immediate results.

    3 people, independently

  9. Imagine being another person to understand their feelings or actions.

    7 people, independently

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