Empathy

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Recognize that people who are hardest to love often need love the most.

    one person who lived it

  2. To help control your words, remind yourself that people around you likely have friends or family members who would be disparaged by your joking.

    It creates an awareness that helps maintain control over your words.

    one person who lived it

  3. When speaking to others in the morning, imagine you are talking to yourself or a friend to maintain gentleness.

    You are unlikely to growl at yourself, which helps you be nicer to others.

    one person who lived it

  4. Acknowledge negative feelings briefly so they lose control over you, then become curious about your partner's state.

    Acknowledging the feeling causes it to lose control.

    one person who lived it

  5. Treat your future self with the same care you would show a stranger when choosing between immediate gratification and long-term benefit.

    3 people, independently

  1. Treat exposure to disliked music as an educational opportunity to understand other people's perspectives rather than blocking it out.

    It helps reduce self-centeredness and allows you to observe others' reactions.

    one person who lived it

  2. View empathy as a learnable skill: observe how empathetic people act and imitate their behavior.

    3 people, independently

  3. Practice empathy by noticing when others are tired, asking questions instead of only talking about yourself, and tolerating boring subjects to let others speak.

    These behaviors characterize a mature/normal person.

    one person who lived it

    • Develop empathy by considering other people's difficulties to avoid immaturity.1
  4. Read 'Thinking Fast and Slow' to foster empathy by realizing that while people think similarly, individual experiences shape them differently.

    One reader found it taught them empathy by revealing how individual experience shapes similar thinking processes.

    one person who lived it

3 more on this
  1. Acknowledge that wishing for a parent's care during tragedy is a normal longing, not entitlement.

    • Based on one person's mother confessing she wished her own mother were alive to comfort her.

    one person who lived it

  2. Recognize that every person's life path, even if seemingly mundane, contains fascinating and humanizing stories.

    one person who lived it

  3. If you tend to judge others' struggles, try understanding their perspective instead; one person found this helped protect their ego when facing similar hardships later.

    one person who lived it

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