Ethics

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

Ensure the happiness of others as well as your own, but favor your own happiness if the two conflict.
You have to live with yourself.
one person who lived it
Do not confuse legal compliance with moral correctness.
Laws are often arbitrary while morals are not.
one person who lived it
Do not treat others in ways you would not want someone to use on your mom.
one person who lived it
- Interact with others in the manner you prefer to be treated.17
Limit how long you hold people in judgment to preserve your ability to relate to their humanity.
Holding people in judgment for too long makes it difficult to relate to their humanity.
one person who lived it
Recognize that associating with people who exhibit harmful behaviors implies tacit agreement with those behaviors.
Willingly hanging out with cheaters, liars, or bigots suggests you do not think their actions are that bad, undermining claims of moral opposition.
- It is more complicated with family.
one person who lived it

Support authors by purchasing their books rather than pirating them.
Piracy denies authors credit and money for their knowledge.
one person who lived it
Analyze the root reasons behind your values (e.g., valuing money for security) to develop principles that achieve those underlying needs.
Discovering the reason you value something helps you develop your principles.
one person who lived it
Get important verbal understandings in writing when dealing with business owners or partners whose character you may not fully know.
Assuming a verbal understanding is enough because known owners are good people can be risky if unknown owners are problematic.
one person who lived it
Set firm boundaries against racism, homophobia, and unjustified judgment; point out uncomfortable behaviors and end associations if limits are not respected.
one person who lived it