Finding purpose
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Read Cal Newport's book So Good They Can't Ignore You.
It rejects the idea of finding passion first and tells you why skills matter.
3 people, independently
Create a vision board of what you want in life and set it as your phone lockscreen to help clarify small goals.
One person found this helped them think about what they wanted and slowly achieve it.
- Sounds stupid but it worked for one person
one person who lived it
Watch talks by Jordan Peterson on YouTube for guidance on life and direction.
They really helped me.
3 people, independently
Travel to locations very different from where you grew up to open up your world.
One person found this helpful for gaining insights.
- Based on one person's experience
one person who lived it
Introduce big disruptions to your routine, such as mini-vacations, to break out of existential ruts.
Routine can lead to thoughts like 'is this it?'
one person who lived it
Shift your focus from asking what you want to asking how your life can echo in someone else's.
One person identified this shift as their first real ambition.
one person who lived it
If the funeral exercise feels too heavy, picture your 80th birthday and imagine the toast given by family, friends, and coworkers to see what they say about your life.
The funeral exercise is powerful but can be heavy.
one person who lived it
Read 'He' by Robert Johnson to understand how old myths were made to help men grow.
One reader described the book as impactful and helpful for understanding personal growth metaphors.
one person who lived it
Include at least one slightly humbling or embarrassing goal on your vision board.
It serves as a way to share with a partner and reveals character traits in anyone who sees it.
one person who lived it
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Learn how to code if you are adept with computers or software.
It is fulfilling to build things and there are many resources available.
one person who lived it
Focus on who you are becoming after accomplishments, viewing goals as guides for personal growth rather than just end points to tick off.
3 people, independently
Rewatch the movie 'Dead Poet Society' when feeling aimless to remember the richness of life.
It reminds one person of how rich life is when they feel they are wandering aimlessly.
one person who lived it
Buy a composition book and set aside time today to journal your thoughts.
This helps you make this happen.
one person who lived it
Sincerely ask yourself what you want, allowing time for the answer to emerge, then make it your reality to fill your life with purpose.
Making your desires your reality causes a currently hollow life to become filled with purpose.
one person who lived it
Join groups based on shared activities, such as sports teams, gyms, or board game clubs, to foster friendships.
3 people, independently
Explicitly define your core values to use them as trail markers for decision-making.
Knowing your values allows you to stop caring about what other people say and know yourself clearly.
one person who lived it
Keep moving when in the dark, as staying still keeps you there while movement eventually leads to light.
one person who lived it
Read 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris to learn about acting based on values to lead a richer life.
Act-based therapy teaches discovering and working on values for a more fulfilling life.
one person who lived it
Start with small goals and build good habits gradually rather than aiming for immediate massive changes.
Small, meaningful changes will change your life eventually, not immediately.
2 people, independently
Identify three core values from a list to start defining your direction without pressure to change behavior immediately.
It is a low-pressure starting point that does not require 'getting better' right away.
one person who lived it
To bypass self-denial, imagine what you would want a younger or adjacent person in your life to experience.
Self-denial is often mistaken for virtue, so projecting desires onto someone else helps identify what you truly want.
one person who lived it
Use Meetup to join social gatherings, making it easy to meet people and try new experiences.
3 people, independently
Once financial worries are resolved, focus on internal development such as finding peace, love, or helping people.
It is time to develop internally when money is no longer a concern.
one person who lived it
Do things you normally don't do to gain the experience needed to manage future challenges you can't currently imagine.
The future self gains the ability to handle unimaginable life events through accumulated experience.
one person who lived it
Populate your vision board with iterative, small, or outrageous goals to make the task less imposing.
Starting with small or grand items helps fill the space and allows for modification while building.
one person who lived it
Every morning, vocalize questions to yourself, answer them aloud, and then write the answers down.
Vocalizing allows you to hear the questions and answers.
one person who lived it
Inventory everything you own in a spreadsheet to see what matters versus what you have just accumulated.
It helps distinguish what matters from what is merely accumulated.
one person who lived it
Avoid pyramid schemes, as they are not legitimate businesses and you will not be at the top.
one person who lived it
Build a new character identity and put the skills associated with that person into practice to become who you want to be.
one person who lived it
Distinguish between goals as checkpoints and direction as the 'why' underneath them.
one person who lived it
Identify your values rather than just your goals.
one person who lived it
Give to others, including less fortunate people, animals, or the environment, without expecting anything in return.
It provides serenity.
one person who lived it
Reflect on your tastes, achievements, interests, and goals, then take action such as enrolling in university or starting hobbies like biking or photography.
Motivation vanishes eventually, leaving only discipline.
one person who lived it
Diligently and deliberately practice skills you are bad at, recognizing that discipline forges ability rather than innate talent.
Being bad at something often means you haven't practiced it diligently and deliberately.
one person who lived it
Journal regularly and review past situations to course-correct and improve.
one person who lived it
Identify one specific problem in your life to work on, allowing the ambition to solve it to drag you into other areas of improvement.
- One person used resolving a personal relationship deficit to start reading self-improvement material.
one person who lived it
View domestic responsibilities, such as raising children in a certain way, as valid goals rather than dismissing them as lacking ambition compared to glamorous achievements.
one person who lived it