Independence
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Move out to focus on yourself and gain independence.
One person described this as the biggest step for them and the best thing they ever did for themselves.
one person who lived it
View a partner as an addition to your life rather than its foundation.
If the relationship ends, losing it is like losing a brick from a wall rather than the whole structure collapsing.
one person who lived it
Find an apartment and set a specific move-out date to force yourself to save money and push out of your comfort zone.
It forces you to save for the move and pushes your comfort zone further when you are on your own.
one person who lived it
Consider moving out to live by yourself to escape family pressure about how you should live.
It provides peace of mind, though it is expensive.
one person who lived it
Get your driver's license to boost confidence and feel amazing.
It is a great boost of confidence.
one person who lived it
Leave home and strive for independence, even if it means getting a job and cutting contact with critics.
Independence builds confidence.
one person who lived it
Read things you are interested in to become an independent thinker.
It helps you be an independent thinker.
one person who lived it
Move out of your parents' house to feel like an independent adult rather than a child.
Staying there makes you feel like a child; moving out provides empowering energy and forces responsibility.
2 people, independently
Rely on yourself as your own hero, mentor, and cheerleader, since no one else will save you.
2 people, independently
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Be aware that depending on another person to do a task for you may lead to disappointment if they fail to complete it.
If the person fails to do the task, you will become disappointed.
one person who lived it
Create a backup plan when relying on someone else's word for anything important.
People often fall through, which can lead to disappointment and serious consequences.
one person who lived it
Depend primarily on yourself, as it is the only thing you have control over.
You literally only have control over yourself.
one person who lived it
Figure out modern problems on your own rather than relying on outdated generational advice.
This builds character
- Advice from grandparents or parents won't necessarily be good because things change and technology improves
one person who lived it
Center your life on your own needs rather than allowing romantic or social ties to dictate your entire existence.
5 people, independently
Parent yourself by independently handling daily responsibilities such as laundry, cooking, and decision-making.
This is how one becomes an adult.
one person who lived it
Make yourself the primary source of validation and support.
Anything anyone else provides becomes nothing but a bonus.
one person who lived it
Avoid shutting everyone out in the name of independence, recognizing that total isolation is an extreme opposite to codependency.
Total isolation is just another extreme.
one person who lived it
Learn to drive to build confidence, open up opportunities for jobs and hobbies, and increase independence.
one person who lived it
Enjoy solo activities like museum visits or walks without needing accompaniment.
3 people, independently