More on changing how you live

Heed your intuition when something seems off.

If it feels incorrect, it likely is.

6 people, independently

Find out what advice works for you by trying different things and learning from mistakes.

Nobody else can tell you what is right for you.

one person who lived it

Recognize that the value of youth, love, and life comes from the fact that they end.

Their finiteness is what makes them valuable.

one person who lived it

Separate your 'self' (the part that wants to learn) from your 'mind' (the part that resists change) and ensure your 'self' remains in control.

Only one can be in control at a time.

one person who lived it

Tell your father you appreciate him while he is still alive.

You will regret not doing so after he passes away.

one person who lived it

Recognize that you have the power to choose your response in the space between a stimulus and your reaction.

6 people, independently

If you feel behind in life compared to peers, remind yourself that there is no final destination or moment of having 'made it'.

This perspective helps alleviate the feeling of constantly playing catch-up.

• Based on one person's experience growing up with successful peers.

one person who lived it

Accept that making mistakes and taking wrong paths is part of being young.

You do not know what you are doing when you are young.

2 people, independently

• Accept that your 20s and early 30s are for discovery and mistakes, not for arriving at a final state.6

Do not wait until you feel ready to start a new goal; accept discomfort and start immediately.

Because you'll be waiting all your life.

one person who lived it

• Take action on your goals as soon as possible rather than waiting.3

Recognize that failing to follow through on stated intentions is a form of lying to yourself.

It is a form of dishonesty.

one person who lived it

Look where you are going to avoid falling.

One person fractured their ankle in 3 places after failing to do so.

one person who lived it

Handle life day by day rather than attempting to complete all goals simultaneously.

Attempting to do everything in one go causes stress.

4 people, independently

Make your own point in life since there is no inherent one.

Choose an enjoyable path.

one person who lived it

• Create a tailor-made life for yourself, trusting that no one knows how to do it better than you.1

Do not fear death.

The work one person begins, others may finish.

one person who lived it

View new pursuits as a means to connect with people.

The end goal is connecting with people.

one person who lived it

Stop trying to catch up to others and focus on your own path.

One person found success by stopping the attempt to 'catch up'.

one person who lived it

Do good work on small things.

If you can't do good work for small things, you definitely can't for bigger ones.

one person who lived it

Rearrange your life to create a free month dedicated to understanding your position in life, priorities, and how to move forward.

It allows you to take control over your life.

one person who lived it

Take the risk of trying, since both trying and not trying result in wasted time if nothing happens.

Both outcomes end in wasted time, so taking the risk is preferable.

one person who lived it

Live in the moment and learn something new every day.

Your worst days could be someone's dream.

one person who lived it

Wake up early to realize how much of the day has passed by noon.

to perceive the day as almost half over rather than barely begun

one person who lived it

Adapt quickly to changes in life.

Expecting things to remain the same wastes years.

2 people, independently

Reframe failure as growth instead of viewing it as evidence that you are unchangeable or bad.

Believing you cannot change can be more comfortable than facing the idea of growth.

one person who lived it

Keep one non-negotiable daily promise to yourself, even if tiny, to build self-reliance and confidence.

Keeping a daily promise long enough helps you become someone you can rely on.

2 people, independently

Go with the flow rather than trying too hard.

Trying too hard makes everything more difficult.

one person who lived it

Develop an internal sense of control by seeing yourself as capable of steering your life's path.

4 people, independently

• Take charge of shaping your future and heritage within the boundaries of your influence.3

Look inside yourself for what you want rather than seeking it in the outside world.

6 people, independently

• Live freely, find and understand yourself, and search for meaning within.1

View your life as a portfolio where success in other areas can offset failure in one area.

Other 'stocks' can keep the overall portfolio positive even if one drops in value.

one person who lived it

Value your own life now, acting as if today might be your final day.

5 people, independently

• Start living and enjoy life because death can happen for any reason.1
• Live deliberately so you do not discover upon dying that you had not truly lived.1

Volunteer for service work, such as in a disaster area, to gain a new perspective.

to see with a new perspective

one person who lived it

Take opportunities when life presents them, even if it means letting go of other things.

You miss every shot you don't take.

one person who lived it

Be happy now rather than waiting for future milestones like a better job, paying off a mortgage, or retiring.

Future events will not make you happy unless you are ready to be happy in the present moment.

one person who lived it

Accept that life, happiness, and success are not destinations, but processes of learning to love the struggle.

Life is compared to Sisyphus pushing boulders up mountains; the value lies in the act itself.

one person who lived it

Take more risks and say yes more often, recognizing that failure is rarely fatal and can lead to better outcomes.

Failure is often not fatal and can push you toward something way better.

one person who lived it

Pause significant asset transfers when feeling low, as you may regret giving away valuable items once you return to your normal state of mind.

You risk kicking yourself later for giving away your 'baby'.

one person who lived it

Trust and follow your instincts to strengthen them.

Following them makes them stronger.

one person who lived it

Never stop working towards something, even if you are not rich.

The problem is stopping; it is fine as long as you are working towards something.

one person who lived it

Listen to yourself, because someone has to.

Someone has to

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Make decisions that are fully your own rather than blindly following internet advice.

Regret stems from decisions that are not fully yours.

one person who lived it

Appreciate that beautiful things are often short and sweet.

Things that never end become chaos or lose their meaning; conclusion gives shape to beauty.

one person who lived it

Be consistent and methodical in your actions.

Being consistent and logical builds trust with others.

one person who lived it

Avoid entitlement on the road.

It helps no one.

one person who lived it

Periodically work out who you can trust, even among old friends.

People grow and change over their lifetimes.

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Ask if a task deserves your energy before engaging with it.

Most things do not deserve your energy.

one person who lived it

Use the discomfort of failure as a tool to motivate yourself to do better next time.

The feeling of failure is so unpleasant that it drives you to avoid repeating it.

one person who lived it

Change your beliefs about yourself to change your actions.

Past actions reflect beliefs about yourself, not your personality.

one person who lived it

Define passion as things that make you happy to be alive while experiencing them in the moment.

This is one person's definition of passion.

one person who lived it

Take action immediately rather than waiting, recognizing that opportunities may be singular and life is finite.

Waiting wastes time and risks missing the only chance available in a single lifetime.

one person who lived it

Allow yourself to feel pride in accomplishments while recognizing it is irrational.

Pride helps you get things done, even though it is irrational by definition.

• Be aware that pride is irrational.

one person who lived it

Try every day even when you feel defeated.

Trying daily despite feeling defeated is cited as the main thing.

one person who lived it

Stop worrying about past awkward behavior; regretting it proves you have grown and would act differently now.

Regret shows that you have changed for the better.

one person who lived it

Make room for aesthetics in your life; not everything needs to be logical.

Humans need beauty, such as admiring a flower.

one person who lived it

Accept that there is no such thing as good writing, only good rewriting.

Stressing about making the first draft great is often unnecessary.

one person who lived it

Commit to your vision and avoid doubt even when facing failure or discouragement, unless the vision no longer excites you.

Commitment to belief helps the process go faster.

• Stop if the vision stops exciting you.

one person who lived it

Live for yourself rather than living your life for your parents.

one person who lived it

If you cannot provide for a pet, do not get one; if you cannot provide for a child, do not have one.

one person who lived it

Train to be the best on your worst day, not just your best day.

one person who lived it

If you are serviceable in many things but great at none, accept that state as a valid way to be.

one person who lived it

Acquire wisdom while you are still young enough to act on it.

one person who lived it

Contribute to your community by helping people to build legacy, purpose, and inner peace.

Serving others builds legacy, purpose, and inner peace.

one person who lived it

Learn from your mistakes to avoid doing costly stupid stuff in the future.

to avoid costly stupid stuff

one person who lived it

Do not wait until you have both time and money to do something.

Most people rarely have both resources simultaneously.

one person who lived it

Enjoy your youth while you can.

Youth is precious and doesn't last; older age brings responsibilities that often hinder boldness and bravery.

one person who lived it

Call your list of repeated mistakes 'we don't do that anymore'.

You may find yourself saying that exact phrase.

one person who lived it

Settle factual debates by looking up the answer online rather than arguing.

It resolves the issue much faster than debating.

one person who lived it

Let the fact that someone is always better motivate you to try rather than discourage you.

There will likely always be someone even better, or there will be one eventually.

one person who lived it

Maintain standards that represent your values without expecting yourself to abide by them perfectly.

Standards differ from hope-based expectations; if you expect yourself to always meet a standard, it ceases to be your standard.

one person who lived it

Enjoy your childhood and youth instead of worrying about the future.

Childhood feels long but passes quickly, and worrying prevents you from experiencing it fully.

one person who lived it

Deal with immediate situations before pursuing long-term goals.

You cannot achieve your ultimate goal if you ignore the immediate obstacles in front of you.

one person who lived it

Ask yourself whether a choice is driven by preference or by fear.

one person who lived it

Recognize when you have enough so that you will always have enough.

one person who lived it

Focus on actions over intentions.

Actions define your character in the long run.

one person who lived it

Identify as a 'hard worker' or 'resilient' person rather than 'talented'.

This mindset helps overcome failures when they first occur.

one person who lived it

Visualize your ideal future self as a real person to strengthen your commitment to decisions that align with who you want to become.

Creating a stronger bond with the person you want to be makes their perspective on current choices more compelling.

one person who lived it

Make a positive contribution to help society function.

It allows you to die a happy person.

one person who lived it

Adopt an absurdist perspective that nothing matters after death to diminish the importance of past regrets.

It helps you think about what you could have done better without being paralyzed by it.

one person who lived it

Live and feel life fully rather than waiting until you are old without having tried.

one person who lived it

Trade short-term pleasure for medium-to-long-term pain, and trade short-term discomfort for medium-to-long-term fulfillment.

one person who lived it

Travel more.

Choices like this potentially bring larger benefit than loss.

one person who lived it

If meeting a goal's deadline seems too difficult, recognize that you may not want it as badly as you thought.

one person who lived it

Capitalize on current momentum if you want to get long-term happiness.

It is necessary for long-term happiness.

one person who lived it

Remember that you are always negotiating with your future self.

It is really useful.

one person who lived it

• Change yourself only to please the future version of yourself who will look back and be pleased with the decision.1

Maintain consistency and seize opportunities over time rather than giving up after a few weeks because success hasn't arrived yet.

Success doesn't happen overnight.

one person who lived it

Reframe expectations as hopes; expect things to be decent but hope they will be great.

This maintains a decent baseline satisfaction while allowing for greater joy.

one person who lived it

Instead of complaining, identify your problems, list available solutions, and choose the best one to make progress.

Complaining won't solve any of your problems.

one person who lived it

Treat rock bottom as a solid foundation to build your life from, rather than a permanent state.

one person who lived it

Recognize that quitting is the true failure, not the act of failing itself.

one person who lived it

Keep your worldview flexible to make adjusting beliefs easier.

Constant reassessment helps when you regularly miss obvious things.

one person who lived it

Take calculated risks rather than avoiding them out of fear.

3 people, independently

Change tactics instead of giving up when facing difficulties.

Giving up equals failure.

one person who lived it

Create space for reflection by recognizing that busy careers and responsibilities can silence the inner voice indicating something is wrong.

Life may need to become quiet enough for you to hear answers that were not hidden, just drowned out.

one person who lived it

Do productive things because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.

one person who lived it

Maintain composure after making a mistake to avoid bigger blunders.

Losing composure tends to lead to much bigger blunders.

one person who lived it

Consult a trusted person when starting a new endeavor to find the 'back entrance' to opportunities.

There is often a hidden or easier entry point to almost anything that a trusted contact can reveal.

one person who lived it

Become your own hero by living a life that does not need justification to anyone else at the end.

one person who lived it

Catch yourself before reacting and choose a different response repeatedly; focus on being slightly better than yesterday rather than fixing everything at once.

Change happens through small steps, not big switches.

one person who lived it

Withhold full trust until you have observed someone's behavior over time.

Time reveals whether they are trustworthy.

one person who lived it

Commit to becoming anti-racist as a lifelong process.

It provides an opportunity to become more confident in speaking up.

one person who lived it

When facing a problem, decide whether to change it, leave it, or accept it.

one person who lived it

Be a good listener and interject words of wisdom at the right moment.

Listening is contributing, and timing wise comments is usually very productive.

one person who lived it

View each decision as walking through a door that locks behind you; accept that you cannot return to the past, but carry forward the knowledge of what is right.

one person who lived it

Become your own validator so you do not rely on others' approval.

3 people, independently

Find a passion to give meaning to self-improvement efforts.

Without a passion, self-improvement becomes mere maintenance.

one person who lived it

Take responsibility for yourself to gain empowerment.

Empowerment comes via responsibility.

one person who lived it

View challenges as opportunities to overcome and learn from rather than problems to avoid.

A positive person sees opportunities everywhere.

one person who lived it

Take responsibility for yourself daily, recognizing that opportunity arises where responsibility has been abandoned.

It transformed my life

one person who lived it

Write down the literal moment and specific person who installed each of your core beliefs to realize they were not chosen by you.

one person who lived it

Protect your time by recognizing it is equivalent to your life.

one person who lived it

Recognize that meeting the person you could have been is life's scariest experience.

one person who lived it

Collaborate by valuing differences and building on strengths to compensate for weaknesses.

It allows people and teams to create innovative solutions.

one person who lived it

View life as a massive web of cause and effect with no God or afterlife, focusing only on the present moment and human connection.

one person who lived it

Avoid repeating bad behaviors daily.

Otherwise you will never become a better person.

one person who lived it

Imagine yourself as the CEO of social media platforms making money while you waste time scrolling, rather than living your own life fully.

one person who lived it

Take active control of your life rather than relying on God to magically remove problems; view God as a supporter along the way, not a wizard.

one person who lived it

Deliberately and consciously reintroduce spontaneity if it has been lost.

Spontaneity is a method of action that can be brought back through deliberate effort.

one person who lived it

Treat happiness and fulfillment as an ongoing process of daily choices rather than a final goal.

one person who lived it

View your beliefs as temporary tools that are constantly mutating, rather than intrinsic parts of yourself, so you can let them go when needed.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge that success involves help and luck rather than being entirely self-made.

one person who lived it

Remind yourself that as a beginner, you are not yet skilled enough to warrant disappointment in your performance.

one person who lived it

Endure pain temporarily rather than quitting permanently.

Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever.

one person who lived it

Consider adopting Neoplatonism as a philosophical framework if you are struggling with nihilism.

• This is based on one person's personal experience; it may not work for everyone.

one person who lived it

To feel better about using an item, divide its purchase price by the number of days you have used it.

one person who lived it

Recognize that small actions, like smiling at a cashier or offering a coin for transport, may serve as catalysts for great things like saving a life or securing a job.

one person who lived it

If you believe there is no afterlife, take every opportunity that comes across to live fully.

one person who lived it

Recognize that avoiding bad actions and people contributes to your success.

one person who lived it

Treat obstacles as the path forward, understanding that impediments to action can advance it.

one person who lived it

Rebel by preserving yourself rather than destroying yourself.

one person who lived it

Enjoy activities without feeling guilty about having fun.

3 people, independently

Visualize your mind and body as separate entities; let the mind command the body to stand up when you feel internal resistance.

one person who lived it

Channel the ability to generate excuses into generating solutions instead.

The capacity to think of excuses implies the capacity to think of solutions.

one person who lived it

Recognize that discipline transforms from feeling restrictive to providing freedom, confidence, and guilt-free rest.

one person who lived it

Focus on financial independence as an empowering personal journey rather than a punishment.

one person who lived it

Accept that unless you are born extremely wealthy, life anywhere likely involves grinding through significant hardship.

one person who lived it

Use the thought of angering an enemy with your success as motivation.

one person who lived it

Reframe problems arising from life changes as perceptions rather than obstacles, provided you know why you are making the change.

Problems are based on perception; knowing your purpose means actions shouldn't be seen as problems.

one person who lived it

Engage fully with your current job without negativity, letting it be 'good enough' so you can do it well.

Not enjoying work prevents reaching flow state due to lack of passion or drive from not being fully engaged.

one person who lived it

If you struggle with self-acceptance, try watching the '6 Pillars of Self Esteem' channel on YouTube.

The speaker's approach to self-acceptance resonates strongly with some viewers.

one person who lived it

Internalize the purpose behind habits rather than forcing them, and write down tangible benchmarks for self-improvement goals.

Forcing habits often fails until you understand the purpose. Writing down specific benchmarks (like resilience) is more effective than just listing habits to maintain.

one person who lived it

Focus on struggles that ignite your passion rather than forcing discipline on tasks that do not interest you.

Discipline should serve as a vehicle to get deeper desires, not replace passion.

one person who lived it

Focus on sleeping, eating, and moving rather than optimizing with supplements or complex planning tools.

The body cares about basic needs (sleep, food, movement) more than organizational dashboards or perfect supplement stacks.

one person who lived it

Focus on one subject per night while studying to avoid carrying all textbooks.

To simplify logistics and avoid carrying heavy books.

one person who lived it

Dig deeply into self-improvement books and live by their principles rather than just accumulating knowledge.

Accumulating knowledge alone won't change your life; living the principles is how you get value.

one person who lived it

Accept yourself and focus on consistency, honesty, and striving to learn, rather than conforming to universal behavioral traits.

Adulting well doesn't fit one shape; it involves accepting yourself and others.

one person who lived it

Practice radical honesty in journaling to confront whether you are dealing with the behavior itself or just the shame associated with it.

It forces you to consider if the behavior is actually helping you.

one person who lived it

Consider fostering or becoming a stepparent if biological parenthood is no longer possible due to age.

Biological clocks limit biological parenthood, but other paths to parenting exist.

one person who lived it

Focus on hard work and consistency rather than talent to get success.

Hard work and consistency are the common denominators of achievement, not talent.

one person who lived it

Consume self-help books and posts critically, recognizing that the issue may be internal rather than a lack of productivity knowledge.

Productivity advice often falls flat because people have not figured out themselves.

one person who lived it

Adopt a slower, steadier approach to change rather than seeking perfect, radical transformations to avoid burnout.

Radical approaches often lead to burnout.

one person who lived it

Focus on self-improvement beyond mere abstinence, as abstaining alone does not guarantee personal growth or enlightenment.

one person who lived it

Do difficult tasks even when you do not feel like doing them to build mental resilience.

4 people, independently

Record your advancements in a journal.

It is more useful than you might expect.

3 people, independently

Break overwhelming tasks into small, doable daily steps so you can feel proud of your progress.

24 people, independently

If you want to pay off debt or build a new habit, start with the smallest possible intensity level rather than trying to do too much at once.

Starting small made the discipline feel wonderful rather than burdensome.

one person who lived it

• Build small habits by picking one habit, a daily cue, an immediate primal reward (like sleep or food), and a low/high bar system to ensure consistency.1

If you struggle with self-belief, reduce the stakes by focusing on one thing for ten minutes.

Doing small tasks creates a snowball effect that makes discipline easier.

one person who lived it

Choose one topic per week and explain it in your own words as if telling someone else.

It helps more than just consuming quick content.

one person who lived it

Aim to improve specific behaviors by a small percentage, such as being 10% kinder or less lazy, which is more achievable than tackling huge changes all at once.

Small nudges are easier to tackle than ascending a huge mountain in one step.

one person who lived it

Keep tasks challenging enough to be engaging but not so difficult that they cause you to stop.

Studies show this balance helps people keep going.

one person who lived it

Tell family members your specific goals and reasons for them.

It helps a ton.

one person who lived it

Study in blocks of 50 minutes followed by a 10-minute break.

To manage decaying brain levels.

one person who lived it

Exercise regularly while young, as it is the easiest time to get in shape.

It is easier to get in shape during this period.

one person who lived it

Produce a high volume of work to close the gap between your taste and your ability.

Volume allows your work to eventually match your ambitions.

one person who lived it

Cook the same dish five times to improve your skill through repetition.

It will usually be better than your first attempt.

one person who lived it

Choose a single bad habit to quit and gradually swap it for a better one. Build structure into your day but avoid being overly critical of yourself.

• Once you have nailed that consistently, you can start to tackle other issues.

3 people, independently

• Concentrate on refining a single aspect for three months to establish the habit before moving to the next one.3
• Drop bad habits bit by bit rather than forcing immediate cessation.2
• Start working on new habits right away instead of waiting for a New Year resolution.8

Start journaling with just one sentence or line a day to build the habit without overwhelm.

Starting small helps maintain consistency; one person noted they would never stop writing because of this low barrier.

one person who lived it

If you are struggling, try writing by hand to process it profoundly.

Writing is profound.

one person who lived it

Track cumulative small actions to visualize progress.

Doing 5 push-ups daily results in 150 push-ups in a month.

one person who lived it

• Track areas of your life quantitatively, turning qualitative aspects into measurements.1

Break vague, scary tasks into tiny, ridiculously easy first steps, such as making one flashcard.

Vague tasks are scary; specific micro-tasks are easy.

one person who lived it

Pause before reacting by asking what the person you aspire to be would say or do in the situation.

This process rewires your brain until it becomes automatic.

one person who lived it

Start practicing skills like growing plants immediately by taking action (e.g., planting a seed) rather than trying to learn everything beforehand.

One person harvested crops four months after starting this way.

one person who lived it

Assign a monetary value to each instance of resisting an urge to make progress feel tangible.

It helps if you are financially motivated.

one person who lived it

Write down all negative habits and problems on paper, then tackle them one by one starting with the easiest to build momentum.

Starting with easy tasks builds momentum.

one person who lived it

Keep a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist and snap it each time you notice yourself complaining to link the physical sensation to the habit.

This trains your brain to identify complaining as a negative behavior and increases awareness whenever it happens.

3 people, independently

Treat practices like meditation or NoFap as tools to sharpen your skills, not as ultimate goals.

Getting caught up in these small things can stress you out and drain energy needed for more important things.

one person who lived it

Learn the English meanings of Chinese character radicals quickly.

It boosts confidence and helps deduce meaning from familiar radicals in other characters.

• You need time.

one person who lived it

Simplify the layout of your space.

It can make cleaning easier.

one person who lived it

Create simple, repeatable systems with clear schedules and plans for when things fail, rather than relying on extreme willpower to change everything at once.

Trying to change absolutely everything at once often breaks streaks within 10–15 days.

one person who lived it

Write down fleeting thoughts and expand on them to create a foundation for deeper reflection.

It gives clarity about the topic and allows for deeper thoughts later.

2 people, independently

Rely on repetition, hours, and dedication rather than innate talent.

These factors are what lies behind the label of 'talent'.

one person who lived it

• Accept that you will not be good at new things immediately; rely on practice rather than innate talent to improve.1

List your personal values, pick one to focus on each day, and grade yourself at the end of the day on how well you followed it.

This method provides actionable content for self-improvement.

one person who lived it

• Regularly establish objectives that enable you to make gradual personal improvements.7

Use Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a guide, starting at the bottom (water, macros, sleep) and getting those consistent before moving to the next level.

Having a guide helps sort out basics before moving up.

one person who lived it

Learn musical notes while you are still learning chords, rather than trying to learn notes after mastering chords.

It feels difficult to learn notes after you have already learned chords.

one person who lived it

Use boring systems with simple habits, visible tracking, and fewer choices.

It compounds and yields more progress than big motivation.

one person who lived it

Stop reading immediately when you encounter words you don't fully understand and backtrack to clear them up.

Reading past unknown words slows you down and makes you lose interest.

one person who lived it

Avoid binge-watching short videos.

They steal your focus, drive, and present-moment awareness.

one person who lived it

Repeat your goals or affirmations to influence your unconscious mind, but ensure they remain realistic.

Repetition can convince you when an unconscious program is running.

• Do not be unrealistic about it.

one person who lived it

Read your paper backwards during the final read-through to spot grammar or syntax errors.

It is easier to spot errors when reading each sentence individually.

one person who lived it

Focus on the end result of your goals, treating your focus as a target for your subconscious mind to hit.

The mind acts as a cybernetic mechanism where whatever you focus on becomes the target your subconscious tries to get.

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Emphasize the positive aspect of regularly working on a new skill, even if you feel you are currently bad at it.

Regular practice is a positive in itself; you will get better if you keep going.

one person who lived it

• Recognize that being bad at something is the first step to becoming somewhat good at it.1
• Practice regularly without expecting immediate improvements when learning new things.3

Accept that tasks never get easier, but you simply get better at them.

one person who lived it

Create a tracking system using line graphs and journaling to log progress and insights into changes.

to build insight

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Exercise in secret if your living situation prohibits it openly.

Sometimes parents are difficult, and you have to compromise while still living with them.

• Only if living with difficult parents

one person who lived it

Only share goals with supportive people who will help remove obstacles, such as adjusting plans to accommodate your schedule.

Supportive people can give reminders and make the goal easier.

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Identify a deeper personal motivation to break cycles of inconsistency.

A lack of enough 'why' causes repetitive loops of productivity and sloppiness.

• Speak positively and gently to yourself.

one person who lived it

Write essays imitating the style of the material you have been reading.

This approach really worked for improving writing skills.

one person who lived it

Sort items by category or color to break cleaning into smaller tasks.

It makes the task less overwhelming.

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If you have forgotten information, review primary school level basics for 30-60 minutes a day to refresh knowledge.

It helps knowledge click easily with experience and works wonders in academia.

one person who lived it

Try the X Effect or reward systems managed by others if self-management fails.

Some people find it helpful even if leaving the reward system up to you doesn't work.

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Break projects into small tasks to create frequent victories and rewards.

ADHD brains need extra dopamine from feeling accomplishments.

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Start with small steps to break AI habits by reading books you are genuinely curious about.

Reading material you are only slightly curious about will feel like a drag.

one person who lived it

Practice daily prayer to improve spiritual well-being.

Daily prayer works wonders on the spiritual side.

one person who lived it

Do not assume that skills appearing effortless are easy for the performer.

Public praise often masks years of private practice and intense effort to create an appearance of ease (sprezzatura).

one person who lived it

Study immediately after waking up if it helps your focus.

it makes studying easier for some people

• this is a personal preference based on individual focus needs

one person who lived it

After meditating daily for seven straight days, increase the duration by one minute per week.

This approach builds commitment and exercises the habit muscle slowly over time.

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Take rest days to improve studying efficiency.

Rest leads to significant improvement in studying quality.

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Push yourself to fake positive emotions until you genuinely feel them.

it works

one person who lived it

Place a visual tracker, such as a thermometer graphic or a graph, on your fridge to mark each time you save money.

Marking progress visually makes the process of saving satisfying.

one person who lived it

Check your technique if your back hurts after practice.

one person who lived it

Buy expensive, beautiful bed linen to motivate yourself to make your bed and keep your bedroom orderly.

The cost and beauty provide motivation to make the bed, which leads to keeping the rest of the room orderly.

one person who lived it

If you struggle with losing focus, print a description of your leadership weaknesses and hang it where you see it daily, such as above your computer.

it serves as a humbling reminder

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Use flashcards instead of simply taking notes.

Flashcards are much more effective.

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Focus on spoken learning methods over flashcards or reading when learning tonal languages like Chinese.

Tonal changes make it difficult to learn properly from text alone.

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Focus on interest over discipline when building habits.

Discipline does not come first; interest does.

one person who lived it

Learn the 'caged system' for guitar to understand patterns and improvise.

Internalizing this system reveals patterns in songs.

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Ask probing questions about stories people are telling to keep them engaged in the conversation.

People often get bored when they cannot engage in the conversation.

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Use an app that measures your usage and locks out specific apps after a time limit you set.

5 people, independently

Accept that in some sports, genetics play a significant role and hard training alone may not lead to excellence.

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Update your permalink structure when launching a WordPress site for SEO purposes.

It aids in search engine optimization.

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Focus on optimizing the first hour after you wake up, regardless of what time that is, rather than stressing about waking up early.

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Exercise willpower like a muscle by starting with tiny, realistic goals and gradually increasing them over time.

6 people, independently

Create a checklist for recurring project tasks to use before submitting work.

This helps eliminate easy mistakes.

one person who lived it

Resolve your sleep issues before attempting to improve any other area of your life.

one person who lived it

Place notecards with key guidelines by your nightstand to act as constant reminders morning and night.

This removes the need to remember the information from memory.

one person who lived it

If standardized testing formats motivate you, track habits using a 'Scantron' style bubble sheet to get into a mindset of getting things done.

filling in bubbles can put you in a mindset of getting things done

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Practice visualization while lying in bed in a relaxed, drowsy meditative state.

It is easier to communicate with your subconscious mind when you are relaxed.

one person who lived it

Take your time to make every movement count when learning a new physical task, rather than rushing.

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Start a bullet journal to color-code daily activities as positive (green) or negative (red).

This provides immediate feedback to help you identify negative patterns and make improvements.

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Include daily tree icons in your tracker that grow as you complete habits to provide a fun visual motivator.

a fun visual motivator

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• Mark a calendar daily when you complete a chosen habit to establish consistency.3

Set a fixed morning routine where you do habits at specific times.

5 people, independently

View extreme discipline as lifelong sustainability to stay disciplined.

Thinking in terms of sustainability helps you stay disciplined.

one person who lived it

Celebrate finishing your first Python program.

Completing a first program can generate significant excitement.

one person who lived it

Practice regularly rather than relying on innate talent, as consistent practice can lead to greater improvement than natural ability without daily effort.

Students who practiced regularly, including those with disabilities, improved more than talented students who did not practice daily.

one person who lived it

Provide yourself with easy access to necessary materials and external motivation tools.

This approach helps, particularly for ADHD-centric needs.

one person who lived it

Post daily vlogs only to friends initially to build consistency before posting publicly.

The requirement to post video encourages consistency in other habits.

one person who lived it

Rely on systems and preparation rather than willpower or motivation.

Relying on 'motivation' is for amateurs.

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Use deductive visualization by imagining facing a temptation and successfully resisting it to give up bad habits.

It makes resisting temptations in real life easier.

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Start visualization sessions with scenarios smaller than your main aversion to make the primary visualization feel more real.

Warming up with smaller items makes the subsequent visualization of the main aversion feel more legitimate.

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Practice moderation in self-improvement efforts.

Lack of moderation might accidentally hurt yourself.

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Buy coffee right before your next bus arrives so the risk of spilling forces you to miss it and study on campus instead.

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Address the biggest stressor first; treat all other habits as decorations and procrastination until it is dealt with.

one person who lived it

Pace around the house while reading textbooks to aid focus and retention.

one person who lived it

Delay gratification for small increments of time and reward yourself to train your brain's dopamine response.

This rewarding system releases dopamine, which keeps you motivated.

one person who lived it

Build consistent routines rather than focusing solely on targets, since your results reflect the quality of your daily processes.

3 people, independently

Try emotional meditation styles.

Different meditation styles yield different results.

one person who lived it

Buy a small MIDI keyboard to learn piano silently using interactive lessons.

completely silent

one person who lived it

Spoil elderly people with flowers or candy.

They love to know you are thinking about them.

one person who lived it

Join a hobby group to meet people.

You will meet people there too.

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Find hobbies and develop skills; force yourself to talk to people until it becomes enjoyable.

One person found they had to force themselves before starting to enjoy it.

one person who lived it

Volunteer to do positive deeds for others, which also benefits yourself.

Positive thoughts and deeds keep you well.

one person who lived it

Listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing boring chores like cooking or washing dishes.

It helps you learn during the day and makes chores more enjoyable.

2 people, independently

Pick one sport or activity you enjoy and apply a disciplined approach to it.

This allows you to experience the joy of making progress again.

one person who lived it

Travel globally or volunteer to expand your world and understand different cultures.

These activities expand your world and mind.

• Global travel is suggested only if at all possible.

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Knit or crochet items like scarves.

it is very quiet and relaxing

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Reconnect with nature, exercise, get sunlight, and spend time cuddling with animals.

These activities bring new ideas.

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Pick up a hobby that requires thought and concentration, such as learning an instrument, coding, or a martial art, to exercise your brain.

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• Find challenges requiring physical effort, such as hiking or marathon running, to engage your mind.1

Enjoy solitary activities such as going to the movies alone, walking by yourself, or preparing and eating a meal for one.

These activities should be perfectly enough.

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Read extensively to strengthen and sharpen your mind.

Reading is compared to exercise for the body; while much is forgotten, something remains in the subconscious.

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Pursue pastimes intended to keep you busy and offer a wholesome diversion.

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Enhance your appeal by developing muscles, gaining knowledge through reading, and becoming an involved person.

These traits help you get noticed the most.

one person who lived it

Travel to broaden your horizons, gain confidence, and become more interesting.

The experience makes you more interesting and gives you confidence.

one person who lived it

Practice 'dating yourself' by attending social activities alone to build confidence and enjoy the experience regardless of companionship.

It removes the pressure of needing a partner to have fun.

one person who lived it

Gamify difficult tasks or recovery processes using concepts like power-ups and quests.

One person found this approach helpful after suffering a concussion injury.

one person who lived it

Exercise physically to improve thinking ability and boost mood.

You will benefit from improved cognitive function and better mood.

one person who lived it

Spend within your financial limits on activities that are fun, important, or interesting to you.

Investing in social opportunities is often better than having money without enjoyment.

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Plan dedicated time to actively practice activities you love rather than passively consuming media.

Repetition builds expertise.

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Take up meaningful, pride-inducing activities such as volunteering, hiking, or starting a small business to create a sense of accomplishment.

3 people, independently

Play chess, crossword puzzles, Scrabble, or Sudoku to improve critical thinking, logic, memory, information building, and vocabulary.

These activities engage cognitive functions related to logic and memory.

one person who lived it

If you feel lost, dedicate time to self-reflection instead of engaging in mindless activities like streaming video.

one person who lived it

Manage stress by getting outdoors.

It shows real growth.

one person who lived it

Put your phone in a drawer and walk outside away from computers and TVs to let your mind relax.

It helps the mind relax.

one person who lived it

Clean as you notice something dirty rather than adding it to a list.

It takes at most five minutes and leaves the house looking tidy, which helps you feel energized.

one person who lived it

If you feel unmotivated, go to a nice coffee shop or get outside to change your environment.

It can immediately change your mindset and make days better by providing new sights and sounds.

• This may not be possible if you lack money or cannot leave your job.

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Keep small encouraging stickers, notes, or small soft blankets on hand to perk people up.

People perk up at stickers, and the blankets are comfortable.

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Customize your morning routine to what works for you, dropping elements like meditation or journaling if they create pressure.

Doing things that don't work can put extra pressure on yourself.

• Meditation and journaling did nothing for one person and added pressure.

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Disconnect from devices and go outside to breathe fresh air and touch nature.

It helps wake up to the beauty of life, which is hard to see when constantly using devices.

one person who lived it

Walk away from toxic relationships or jobs when staying causes more pain than leaving.

It often hurts less to leave a toxic situation than to remain in it.

one person who lived it

Imagine having nine parallel lives and decide how you would want the remaining eight to go to identify what gives you energy.

Whatever you envision for those other lives reveals your sources of energy.

one person who lived it

Add friction to phone usage by leaving it in another room at night.

Getting started with enjoyable activities is hard; this prevents picking up the phone first thing in the morning.

one person who lived it

• Make unwanted habits unattractive by adding extreme physical friction, such as removing a power plug so you must rewire it to use the device.1

Use orange scent to mellow out or grapefruit scent to feel uplifted.

Smells can change moods.

one person who lived it

Schedule work explicitly to avoid slipping into bad habits during unstructured off-days.

Having nothing to do during off-days can lead to slipping into bad habits.

one person who lived it

Get up early on weekends to read or relax, rather than sleeping in.

It changes how you experience your free time.

one person who lived it

Break out of repetitive life cycles by trying new things, such as traveling, learning a hobby, volunteering, or talking to strangers.

it can change your life

one person who lived it

Talk to yourself in baby talk as if speaking to a pet.

It induces smiling and distracts from cravings.

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After waking up, drink water and arrange the bed as your first achievement, but avoid reaching for your phone immediately if you feel dizzy.

It serves as the first achievement of the day.

• You may feel dizzy after waking up.

one person who lived it

Conserve energy early in the week so you have enough left to be nice when you are tired at the end of the work week.

You often lack sleep and expend energy early, leaving none for moments when you really need it.

one person who lived it

Write down things that bother you, analyze both the negative and positive potential of each situation, and cross them off the list once you feel closure.

Organizing values on paper helps.

one person who lived it

Take up physical activity if you feel tired from resting too much or moving too little.

Resting too much or not moving enough can make you feel tired.

one person who lived it

Work on personal projects or hobbies before work drains you.

It allows time for personal interests before getting drained from work.

one person who lived it

Keep a positive attitude and enjoy the sociable atmosphere.

Some people get too stressed about weather, strangers, or eating junk food all weekend.

one person who lived it

Seek the outdoors by biking or hiking to escape life's stressors.

It aids habit formation and serves as an effective escape from stressors.

one person who lived it

Force yourself out of your comfort zone by changing established routines, such as swapping a sea vacation for mountains.

Nothing new will happen inside your comfort zone.

one person who lived it

Use a Zafu cushion for back support during meditation if you go on a retreat.

It saved me.

one person who lived it

Schedule 'doing nothing' like a meeting to avoid mistaking busyness for importance.

Being busy often just means being tired and missing half your life, rather than being important.

one person who lived it

Approach your workplace with a 'beginner's mind' to see it with fresh eyes and identify necessary changes.

Seeing the workplace for the first time helps identify if it needs to change, allowing you to start that conversation with colleagues.

one person who lived it

Tell yourself 'I can do without this' when facing temptations to reinforce self-control.

Putting the item back provides a sense of good feeling and serves as instant gratification in itself.

one person who lived it

Write 'I have done' lists instead of 'to-do' lists to help visualize completion and relaxation.

Helps to visualise

one person who lived it

Complete your morning routine before looking at your phone or scrolling social media.

Checking messages or scrolling switches your brain from 'builder mode' to 'reactor mode'.

one person who lived it

Find activities that actively recharge your energy, rather than just resting or stopping work.

Simply putting things down or resting does not recharge us; finding what does is needed to avoid burnout.

one person who lived it

Travel to escape daily life, repurpose yourself, and plan your future while experiencing something new.

It allows one to return stronger.

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Get up and move around immediately upon waking.

It is described as the best life hack for getting started.

one person who lived it

Keep a gratitude log by noting items you appreciate during the day.

This practice redirects attention toward minor positives instead of annoyances, disrupting negative perspectives by acknowledging mild satisfaction in at least one aspect.

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Save funny videos to a dedicated playlist and watch them when you are in a bad mood.

One person reported that this makes them immediately feel better.

one person who lived it

If you view work as a struggle, try reframing it as relaxing to counter the automatic stress response.

The pervasive belief that 'work = struggle' wires the stress system to react automatically; changing this perception can make work feel relaxing.

one person who lived it

Take a longer hiking trip to disconnect from daily stresses and return refreshed.

One person reports always returning from such trips highly refreshed.

one person who lived it

Tap on a specific area of your body and focus on the sensation to anchor mindfulness.

Feeling the tapping allows you to be aware or mindful.

one person who lived it

Treat rest and social time as periods for creativity and exploration that may yield insights applicable to your goals.

This approach allows you to explore and potentially grasp concepts relevant to your objectives.

one person who lived it

Prepare for planned activities ahead of time to enable them.

This avoids relying solely on energy and sheer willpower.

one person who lived it

Avoid all-inclusive trips; travel as a traveler rather than a tourist to reset your perspective.

Travel resets perspective.

one person who lived it

Let out gas for therapeutic release.

The release is therapy.

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Occasionally do absolutely nothing.

It can be great.

• Doing this every day is a pathology.
• Limit it to once a week or once a month.

one person who lived it

Force yourself to go outside for a walk or bike ride to generate energy and motivation.

Physical activity provides the energy needed to do other tasks.

one person who lived it

Focus on rest and lower stress during tough times to prevent willpower depletion, just as muscles need rest to avoid becoming weaker.

Constant stress without rest causes muscles to become smaller and weaker; a similar principle applies to willpower.

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Free write without stopping, capturing literally anything that comes to mind.

It is fun.

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Integrate reverse kegels into your daily routine to relax the pelvic floor.

This can reduce stress-induced tension and improve productivity.

one person who lived it

Shift your focus to a productive or engaging activity like cleaning, watching a movie, or playing video games to distract yourself from urges caused by boredom.

Urges often come from being bored.

one person who lived it

Take aimless walks without a specific purpose to get a calming effect.

it is actually very calming

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Go on block walks, runs, or bike rides to get out of the house and away from screens, then hold literal conversations with yourself to understand your stresses and desires.

one person who lived it

Read tax law or engage with the dullest material available if you prefer literal pain or boredom over doing nothing.

People have preferred literal pain or dull material to boredom.

one person who lived it

Remove thirst traps from your social media feeds and stop engaging with that content to force algorithms to stop showing it.

one person who lived it

Allow yourself to completely disconnect and rest without guilt, doing nothing productive.

Constantly engaging in activities like yoga or meditation can be counterintuitive when you need to let off steam.

one person who lived it

Move to a different town or city if your current environment enables the lifestyle you hate.

one person who lived it

Do not sacrifice your weekends because rest is important.

Sacrificing weekends is described as silly.

one person who lived it

Get vertical immediately when your alarm goes off; do not stay in bed wondering why it is ringing or look at your phone.

3 people, independently

One approach that helped: listen to music that reminds you of negative experiences while doing monotonous tasks.

The boosted dopamine from the music combined with the memory of negative experiences further fuels the drive to complete boring work.

one person who lived it

Reduce clutter and chaos in your physical environment to reduce internal conflict.

Making space less chaotic reduces fighting yourself.

one person who lived it

Perform a routine to transition into work mode, such as having breakfast, dressing up, taking notes, saying goodbye to family, walking around a few blocks, returning, and removing your coat before starting work.

one person who lived it

Allow yourself unlimited leisure time after starting a task to lower activation thresholds and save willpower for the task itself rather than persisting until you hate it.

one person who lived it

Spend time with people to build trust through philia (friendship).

Spending time with them builds them up in philia.

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Say no to requests and give people the choice to accept you as you are or leave your life.

Refusing to say no to avoid upsetting others means you do not love or respect yourself.

one person who lived it

Stay off social media to avoid envy.

You cannot be jealous of what you do not know others have.

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Ask for help or ask questions openly.

Many other people are too afraid to ask.

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Avoid comparing yourself to those who talk down on you.

Jobs and relationships come and go.

one person who lived it

Let minor annoyances slide four out of five times before reacting strongly on the fifth occurrence.

It is better than picking a fight over mild annoyance every time it happens.

one person who lived it

Do not feel pressured to find a significant other if you do not want one.

You don't need a significant other if you don't want one.

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Accept that some people will not like you regardless of your qualities, and recognize that this is okay.

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Listen to criticism from others to become aware of your faults and correct yourself when you are doing something wrong.

It helps you know when you are doing something wrong so you can correct yourself.

one person who lived it

• Ignore mean criticism but accept well-made criticism to identify mistakes you haven't noticed.1

Stop using the word 'toxic' to describe yourself or others.

It is a good starting point for fostering positive thoughts.

one person who lived it

Be assertive to avoid losing relationships and jobs due to resentment and lack of self-advocacy.

Lack of assertiveness can lead to losing long-term relationships and employment.

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Forgive yourself and release the burden of another's actions, acknowledging that you are not to blame.

3 people, independently

Understand and integrate your shadow self instead of burying it.

3 people, independently

Avoid asking for help 'just this one time' repeatedly.

People notice the pattern when you ask every single month.

one person who lived it

Avoid the mindset of 'well I've already had one,' as it can lead to overconsumption.

It is dangerous.

one person who lived it

Ask questions, compliment people, and remember their answers to bring up later.

Bringing up past details catches people off guard in a positive way.

one person who lived it

Examine your own subconscious when you strongly dislike traits in others or hold excessive expectations of them.

These reactions often mirror parts of yourself that need attention or indicate you are being too harsh on yourself.

one person who lived it

Stop worrying about what others think, since they are not thinking about you; instead, be yourself to attract compatible people.

Others are not thinking about you.

one person who lived it

Adopt the mindset of a gentleman rather than a macho persona.

The macho culture can make you feel bad and insecure, while being a gentleman is a life hack that helps you get by in society and always pays off.

one person who lived it

Seek out a new circle of friends and leave the past behind.

Changing other people's opinions is not your responsibility.

one person who lived it

Face your fears and insecurities directly.

This is described as the real solution rather than using ego as a cover.

one person who lived it

Limit social media consumption and stop comparing yourself to others' curated successes.

Social media bragging makes it hard to enjoy your own life.

3 people, independently

Maintain your ego to recognize yourself as a unique individual, which is necessary for navigating life.

You need it to go about life.

one person who lived it

When you feel tingles of jealousy, smile and say 'I'm not that guy.'

One person uses this to stop paranoid behaviors.

one person who lived it

Be true to yourself and accept being 'vanilla', as this simplicity can add depth and stability.

It adds depth while bringing out other flavors and plays an important role.

one person who lived it

Show kindness by smiling and waving at strangers who appear lost in their own heads.

This kindness is very well received.

one person who lived it

Stay away from content that objectifies women.

It would be helpful.

one person who lived it

When you have misandrist thoughts, reframe them by testing if they would hold true for women as well.

one person who lived it

Ensure your prayers focus on a friend's comfort or well-being, not on causing them suffering until they convert, as the latter can be deeply offensive and end friendships.

Praying for someone to suffer until they converts ignores their preferences and values, which one person found deeply disrespectful and led to the end of a friendship.

one person who lived it

Focus on your own safety above patients or colleagues in high-risk professions.

If you cannot look after yourself, you cannot take care of others.

one person who lived it

Reframe asking for help as a way to learn and improve skills rather than a sign of weakness.

Seeking knowledge and utilizing it improves relationships and performance, whereas avoiding help stems from fears of looking incompetent or being a nuisance.

one person who lived it

If you are afraid to act because of others' opinions, proceed as long as you do not harm anyone or anything.

Realizing that nobody cares about your actions unless they cause harm can reduce fear and shyness.

one person who lived it

If you seek validation in social interactions, try shifting your intention to simply making others feel comfortable.

This shift can decouple your happiness from others' reactions and make a huge difference.

one person who lived it

Cease worrying about what others think by realizing they cannot affect your life unless you grant them that power.

5 people, independently

Deconstruct amatonormativity and heteronormativity to stop viewing women through an ulterior motive lens.

One person found this led to deep and meaningful connections.

• Based on one person's experience

one person who lived it

Seek out dependable people rather than charismatic ones who may break trust.

Charismatic people may not be practical.

one person who lived it

Cultivate positive feelings for yourself to generate positive feelings for others.

Good feelings for others come from good feelings for oneself.

one person who lived it

If you are working on standing up for yourself, keep doing it until others get used to it, allowing you to find a middle ground between meekness and offensiveness.

Eventually others will adjust to your new behavior.

one person who lived it

Train your subconscious with daily positive reinforcement and affirmations like 'I am strong' instead of self-hatred.

You should love yourself rather than hate yourself.

one person who lived it

Recognize that self-improvement advice often promotes marketable ideas rather than truth.

Markets tell you what to buy, and these are just marketable ideas, not the truth.

one person who lived it

Know yourself deeply to identify personal leaks or patterns preventing alignment with potential.

Once you understand the patterns behind these leaks, you understand the mechanism and it is easier to know how to intervene.

one person who lived it

Do not talk at length about subjects you are unfamiliar with.

It is irritating to listen to someone pretend knowledge they do not have.

one person who lived it

Focus on improving your own character and behavior rather than trying to manage others' opinions of you.

A new reputation will follow naturally from working on yourself.

one person who lived it

If you do not have close relationships, focus on building them.

one person who lived it

If you want to be respected while keeping your personality, commit fully to serious goals when the context demands it, then switch off that mode when it is not required.

Following through on major goals changes how people see you, earning respect even if you remain goofy in other contexts.

one person who lived it

Do not dismiss claims from biased journalists outright; use good judgment to work out their truthfulness.

Biased journalists may still report true information about bad events.

one person who lived it

Seek out partners and heroes with qualities you admire, and decide to emulate them rather than continue ineffective behaviors.

It is more important to be like them to keep improving.

one person who lived it

Build relationships by helping others rather than asking for favors.

Be useful, not needy.

2 people, independently

Replace swear words with phonetically similar innocuous substitutes, such as 'chips' for 'shit' or 'chuck' for 'fuck', to maintain the rhythm of speech.

It feels the same and preserves the sound.

one person who lived it

Recognize that you are inherently influenced by others' behaviors and have not developed your moral compass entirely on your own.

You have been modeling behavior based on how you see humans interact since birth.

one person who lived it

Avoid being 'too nice,' as it can allow others to block your path and use you for selfish purposes, distracting you from your goals.

one person who lived it

Consider Stoicism to stop wasting energy trying to control other people.

Stoicism teaches that attempting to control others is a waste of energy.

one person who lived it

Stop judging your own messy reality against someone else's curated highlight reel.

It is self-sabotage.

one person who lived it

Do not impose personal rules on others that you expect them to follow.

It's unrealistic

one person who lived it

Embrace your inner child and vulnerability by acting silly, rather than suppressing these traits.

Suppressing your inner child usually leads to misery.

one person who lived it

Stop comparing your personal progress and achievements to those of your peers.

Knowing someone your age has already achieved certain milestones doesn't make you feel good.

one person who lived it

If you feel drained by a victim mindset, try taking responsibility for your life to cultivate warrior energy.

Staying in victim mode takes all your energy away.

one person who lived it

Prove to yourself that you can follow through on commitments to build an identity independent of others' approval.

Following through helps construct a self-identity not reliant on external validation.

one person who lived it

If standard positive affirmations feel forced or uncomfortable, try phrasing them as 'I am open to self love' instead.

It helps you get closer to accepting the sentiment when direct statements make you cringe or feel unworthy.

one person who lived it

Stop anticipating how an irritating person might treat you in the future and avoid comparing their behavior to your past experiences.

This was the only way one person found to deal with irritation without relying on 'woo-woo' concepts like being present.

one person who lived it

During confrontations, shift your focus to understanding why the other person was bothered rather than defending yourself.

This leads to a more productive discussion that tends not to spiral out of control.

one person who lived it

Compliment aspects a person controls, such as hairstyle, nails, clothes, or skincare, rather than innate traits.

It acknowledges something they did themselves, making them feel better about it.

one person who lived it

Confide in a trusted friend about your difficulties.

6 people, independently

Admire specific talents in others instead of trying to imitate their whole personality.

3 people, independently

Set boundaries by saying no to requests that require abandoning yourself, rather than becoming mean or hardened.

Saying no is an act of kindness; becoming hardened can lead to misjudging others' intentions.

one person who lived it

Speak with someone who understands your struggles to feel less left behind.

one person who lived it

When someone is into something you are not, assume you likely do not understand it and might be missing out on an enjoyable experience rather than judging it.

One person found this realization improved their ability to connect or accept such situations.

one person who lived it

Ask yourself why you feel the need to be small and why your needs seem less important than others', recognizing that you would not be bothered if someone asked you for help.

one person who lived it

Change your environment when it is toxic instead of relying solely on internal mindset shifts.

Pretending external factors don't matter can lead to tolerating bad situations too long.

one person who lived it

Stop trying to predict what others find interesting and focus on your own commitment to growth.

Trying to satisfy others' definitions of interesting is a futile effort because you cannot predict their perspectives.

one person who lived it

Avoid offering unsolicited advice or trying to motivate friends to change their lives.

It can be perceived as demeaning, egotistical, or like dangling a carrot while laughing when they trip, causing resentment.

one person who lived it

Treat resistance to change as a friend that keeps your personality together, and negotiate with it by convincing it that change will bring improvement.

Resistance serves the purpose of maintaining your personality structure.

one person who lived it

Model your behavior after genuine characters from fiction or real life who demonstrate kindness and curiosity.

Truly listening to and learning from admired figures can help you adopt good behaviors.

one person who lived it

Reframe being quiet by viewing yourself as an observer who is taking things in, rather than labeling yourself as shy or reserved.

one person who lived it

Disregard mockery from others about living with parents, viewing it as a sign of their privilege or insecurity.

Mocking this choice shows privilege; those who do so are often insecure and troubled.

one person who lived it

Adopt an unbothered attitude toward exclusion or negative comments from peers; one person found this shifted their perception of her from needy to cool.

Pretending to be completely unperturbed changed how others treated her.

one person who lived it

Give compliments to strangers.

Most people enjoy them and respond positively.

one person who lived it

Remove 'ditsy' from your vocabulary.

Mature women do not say that about others or themselves.

one person who lived it

View high susceptibility to influence as a gift for absorbing energy, but use it to your advantage by avoiding negative influences and staying around positive ones.

It is described as a blessing or extraordinary gift.

one person who lived it

Change pointless details about yourself to see if anyone notices; one person found that no one did or cared.

one person who lived it

Mute social media updates of ex-partners or crushes entirely.

Social media is an illusion; comparing your messy reality to someone else's curated highlight reel is self-sabotage.

one person who lived it

Observe yourself and build a friendship with your true self first, rather than expecting others to immediately accept you.

one person who lived it

Focus on your wellbeing and maintain consistency to signal competence and trustworthiness to others subconsciously.

Others' reactions reflect how you treat yourself, and consistency makes you appear more capable.

one person who lived it

Recognize that society may shame you for abandoning outdated rules.

Rules change constantly, and people often act like conditioned animals preventing each other from reaching rewards.

one person who lived it

Counter prejudices by reminding yourself that most people are average, not idealized Hollywood figures.

Media often depicts idealized versions, creating a false standard.

one person who lived it

Identify recurring patterns in bad days rather than judging each day in isolation.

Recognizing a pattern reduces dramatic reactions to oneself.

one person who lived it

Aim to truly find yourself and love that person wildly and unconditionally.

one person who lived it

If you are open to the idea that first thoughts are conditioned by training and second thoughts reflect your true self, pause after an initial reaction and consciously choose a different response.

one person who lived it

If you grew up in a family where pride was considered weakness, recognize that this conditioning affects your ability to ask for help.

one person who lived it

View narcissistic traits as hostile defense mechanisms used by brittle people, not as a congenital lack of empathy.

one person who lived it

Reframe learning new social behaviors as being a 'novice' rather than 'fake,' since new things always feel unnatural initially.

one person who lived it

Stop comparing yourself to famous billionaires; recognize that your background is likely not comparable to theirs.

one person who lived it

Stop seeking external validation and start looking internally for love and acceptance.

one person who lived it

Own your masculinity without shame, including embracing traits considered female if they fit you.

one person who lived it

Replace dismissive or unkind friends with a supportive community that validates your efforts.

one person who lived it

Focus on understanding the human experience and maintaining an open mind rather than just recognizing cultural artifacts.

one person who lived it

Do not water down your personality for neurotypical people; leave environments where you are not appreciated.

one person who lived it

Distinguish between rigidity and solidity; recognize that being solid does not require emotional closure or bracing for disappointment.

one person who lived it

Use a 'sorry jar' as a playful consequence to raise awareness of over-apologizing habits.

• Based on one person's experience living with friends.

one person who lived it

Apply Hanlon's razor: never attribute malice to behavior that can be adequately explained by carelessness, especially if the behavior is out of character.

one person who lived it

Read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' early in life to gain an advantage in social skills.

It provides a huge headstart in areas often not taught in school.

one person who lived it

Read 'Atomic Habits' to help change your mindset regarding self-improvement.

It helped change my mindset two years ago.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden to learn how to boost self-esteem.

5 people, independently

Read Ray Dalio's 'Principles' to rethink your approach to everything.

One reader found the insights profound and it made them rethink their approach to everything.

one person who lived it

Avoid books that create systems out of extremely common-sense advice.

They make frameworks out of basic advice like eating fruits and vegetables or getting sleep, often using punchy names like 'The 5 day diet plan' or 'The ultimate sleep-schedule'.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Social Contract' by Jean Jacques Rousseau for new insights about society.

One reader found it gave new insight about society and felt pleasant to read.

one person who lived it

Conduct proper research instead of relying on news sources that divide people.

There is too much divisive news available.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Art of Mind Management' by Swami Mukundananda to get in control of your life.

Planning will be better once you can start mind management.

one person who lived it

Apply what you read in books through action rather than just reflecting, otherwise it is merely procrastination.

Books alone won't change you; everything starts with action.

one person who lived it

Use 'Never Split The Difference' as a guide on how to handle people, rather than just for negotiation.

One person found it to be an amazing book for handling people, despite being supposed to be for negotiation.

one person who lived it

Read 'What To Say When You Talk To Your Self' by Shad Helmstetter to reset your inner dialogue and improve how you feel about yourself.

3 people, independently

Mix formats like books, videos, and podcasts, then follow rabbit holes connecting topics to truly understand rather than just memorize.

This is where you feel you start to understand, not just memorize.

one person who lived it

Swap doomscrolling for reading erotica before bed.

It reminds you of your body and leads to better dreams and mornings.

one person who lived it

Read 'How to Be an Adult' by David Richo; one reader said it seriously changed their life.

one person who lived it

If you are an adult learning guitar, try using a 'My First Guitar' style book as one person found it effective in their mid-twenties.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Definitive Book of Body Language' to understand non-verbal communication.

Over half of communication with others is non-verbal.

2 people, independently

Read books about culture shock intended for immigrants to better understand local social norms, even if you are native to the country.

Some social norms are easier to understand when explained to outsiders.

one person who lived it

Read the Proverbs from the Old Testament.

one person who lived it

Read 'How to Get Paid for What You Know' by Graham Cochrane for business advice; watch his YouTube videos for simple, practical explanations.

One reader found the videos cool because they explain things in very simple, practical ways.

one person who lived it

Read Walter Isaacson's biographies of Benjamin Franklin, Einstein, and Da Vinci.

His Einstein and Da Vinci bios are noted as good.

one person who lived it

Start by reading David Wong's first article on Cracked.

It is highly popular and frequently reposted.

one person who lived it

Ask who conducted the study and who paid for it when reading science articles in mainstream media.

Funding sources can affect reliability, such as tobacco companies funding smoking research.

one person who lived it

Read 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' by Robert Pirsig to reconcile an artistic identity with a desire for technological exploration.

One reader said it helped them reconcile their concept of themselves as an artist with previously repressed desires for technological literacy.

one person who lived it

Use checklists or habit-tracking methods inspired by books like 'The Checklist Manifesto' or 'Atomic Habits'.

These approaches were described as effective and life-changing.

one person who lived it

Read biographies and novels strategically to view words as a tool for joy and insight rather than just communication.

Learning methods for reading opened up the way one saw novels and biographies, bringing joy.

one person who lived it

Consume positive, enlightening material and read books daily instead of mainstream news designed to induce negativity.

Mainstream news is described as garbage designed to make people negative and angry, whereas reading helps one learn and grow.

one person who lived it

Read biographies of successful entrepreneurs to inspire action and learn from their experiences.

Studying books by successful entrepreneurs inspired one person to start working.

one person who lived it

Read 'Brave New World' to understand the eugenic control of humanity and societal environments.

One reader reported gaining insight into characters, actions, and the positive and negative aspects of eugenic control.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Way of the Warrior Kid' to identify past mistakes in childhood and introduce leadership principles.

one person who lived it

Start reading books extensively to gain introspection and realize personal blind spots.

one person who lived it

Read 'The Gulag Archipelago' to value democracy and individual rights, becoming a more proactive citizen.

one person who lived it

Move to a large city to find friends who share your interests.

Large populations offer more options than small groups.

one person who lived it

Enroll in just one class at a community college to start fresh.

Community colleges are described as perfect places for new starts.

one person who lived it

If you know you do not want a split-level home, state this rule clearly when house hunting.

It saves time for both you and your realtor.

one person who lived it

Take vacation time and days off; remember you are replaceable at work but not to family.

Work is not your whole life.

one person who lived it

Get a job or pursue education to meet people.

You will meet people there.

one person who lived it

Resolve debt first by paying it off, settling it, or filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy if eligible, then move forward with better financial habits.

• Only file for Chapter 7 if you qualify.

one person who lived it

Delay starting college until you have clarity on your career goals and strengths, rather than rushing immediately after high school.

It is difficult to be certain about your path when fresh out of high school.

one person who lived it

Treat passions like art as side jobs rather than primary careers until they generate reliable income.

One person reported this was the best decision they made.

one person who lived it

Add 'solid work ethic', punctuality, and thoroughness to your resume.

Younger people struggle with these skills.

one person who lived it

Tactically switch jobs every couple of years to secure higher pay and better benefits, rather than staying loyal to one employer.

Job loyalty generally nets less pay with fewer benefits.

one person who lived it

Do not have children unless you are comfortable sharing your life with and teaching young people to exist in society.

one person who lived it

Focus on getting a job before seeking friends or a partner.

Employment provides money for social activities and access to potential new friends through coworkers.

one person who lived it

Take free classes or courses to regain direction and passion.

It allows you to borrow childhood passion and test interests without commitment.

one person who lived it

Pursue education or career changes at any age, including while raising children.

• Based on one person's experience at age 40

one person who lived it

Be skeptical of news outlets owned by billionaires or corporate monopolies.

They focus on profit over actual news.

one person who lived it

Value education as something no one can take from you, unlike material possessions such as houses or cars.

one person who lived it

Consider pursuing an apprenticeship in skilled trades like electrical, refrigeration, or engineering to avoid debt and enter fields with high demand.

There are significant shortages of young people in these trades, and apprenticeships can provide good income without debt.

2 people, independently

Attend developer meetups and network to secure in-house recommendations, which employers focus on over random applications.

Employers focus on in-house recommendations over random applicants.

one person who lived it

Answer questions about your education honestly but briefly, such as stating which high school you attended, without volunteering details about dropping out unless necessary.

Most people do not need to know the full context of your educational history.

one person who lived it

Listen to well-researched history and current events podcasts by Dan Carlin.

They are informative and entertaining with lots to learn.

• Long wait times between episodes of the current events show.

one person who lived it

Listen to the audiobook of 'Can't Hurt Me' to hear the author add personal experiences and memories between chapters.

This format allows for deeper exploration of the material beyond the written text.

one person who lived it

Listen to the Thursday afternoon episode of the Monday Morning Podcast (the one just before Friday) for a looser experience.

The host is described as 'just...looser' in this specific episode.

one person who lived it

Listen to Musical Mondays for funny, lighthearted improv musical content.

One listener found it made them smile while walking.

one person who lived it

Watch 'Downton Abbey' if you need a show to help you destress.

one person who lived it

Listen to Tony Robbins' 'Awaken the Giant Within' for motivation.

One person described it as life-changing and praised Robbins as an amazing motivational speaker.

one person who lived it

Listen to the 'Buddhist Geeks' podcast to explore meditation and various concepts regarding the self, particularly if you are not religious.

It helped one person explore meditation and ideas about self that were genuinely helpful.

one person who lived it

Listen to Rest is History for entertaining, educational, and light-hearted history discussions.

Two quintessentially British historians talk about world history while poking fun at each other's differences.

one person who lived it

If you need audio assistance to relax, listen to classical music such as Moonlight Sonata.

it can be very relaxing

one person who lived it

Bring warm clothing for camping trips, even during hot weather, to stay warm at night.

Temperatures can drop at night regardless of daytime heat.

one person who lived it

Use soapy water to find holes in inflatable items like tires or inner tubes.

It is a simple and effective way to detect leaks.

one person who lived it

Buy multiple identical pairs of underwear (e.g., 14 black pairs) and discard old ones to simplify laundry and decision-making.

Having two weeks' worth of identical underwear feels great.

one person who lived it

Use a front-loading washer and hang dry clothes.

It helps reduce oxidation.

one person who lived it

Put bells on your backpack to create an unsophisticated alarm system.

It works as an alarm.

one person who lived it

Buy several pairs of discount jeans and alternate wearing them to extend their life.

Alternating wear helps take better care of your clothes.

one person who lived it

Use a fan compatible with your cordless tool batteries for extended cooling.

Runtime is surprisingly long.

one person who lived it

Use a paper fan for extra cooling.

It provides extra cooling power.

one person who lived it

Use color-coded binders to organize school materials.

They are a life saver.

one person who lived it

If you plan to eat in the restaurant, order for dine-in rather than takeout.

Ordering takeout creates extra cleanup work for staff and wastes resources on expensive packaging that is used once.

one person who lived it

Choose reusable plates over single-use to-go boxes when possible.

Reusable plates last for years while to-go boxes are used once; widespread use of disposable boxes wastes insane amounts of materials.

one person who lived it

Save corks from celebratory drinks and write a quick note, acronym, or shorthand date on them to mark significant milestones.

To remember what they are from without looking like some alcoholic.

one person who lived it

Use greeting cards with personal messages written inside to brighten someone's day.

It always worked.

one person who lived it

Review books in physical bookstores before buying them instead of relying on Google or Amazon previews.

Online previews aren't enough; physical stores allow you to read them before purchasing.

one person who lived it

Use digital journaling for easier searching, rereading, and accessibility.

It is easier to reread if handwriting is poor, easier to find information, and always accessible.

one person who lived it

Try mushroom coffee for some energy and reduced inflammation.

It provides some energy (mostly from being a warm beverage) and helps reduce inflammation.

one person who lived it

Cook vegetables with oil to aid digestion and absorb fat-soluble vitamins.

aid digestion and absorb fat-soluble vitamins; aligns with digestive evolution

one person who lived it

Increase font size on webpages to improve legibility and encourage readers to engage with your content.

Small fonts hinder optimized legibility; making text easy to read subconsciously increases the desire to read.

one person who lived it