Resilience
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
View setbacks as data points in a learning process instead of signals to give up.
Learning often requires hitting walls; if tasks were effortless, they would hold little value. Ending the journey is only an option if you choose to stop.
4 people, independently
View failure as feedback and a valuable lesson to make yourself better, rather than being discouraged by setbacks.
Failure is part of the process and offers opportunities for growth.
10 people, independently
- Accept setbacks, extract lessons from them, and try again instead of quitting.13
- View failure as a component of success; if you keep trying, you are succeeding.5
- Embrace failure as a necessary part of growth, prioritizing the volume of attempts over the rate of success.1
- Reframe failures as feedback rather than permanent marks.1
- Treat failure as a stepping stone to success by making mistakes, learning from them, and trying again.19
Read 'Who Moved My Cheese' to accept that change is inevitable and focus on adapting to it.
How we deal with change shapes our life.
5 people, independently
Reframe minor sleep deprivation by comparing it to extreme feats like running for 3 days straight without stopping or doing a 7-day hell week without sleep.
It helps realize that losing a few hours of sleep won't kill you.
one person who lived it
setbacks, mistakes, accept, failure34
If things go wrong, try not to see it as a catastrophic event.
Accept mistakes made in your 20s as necessary learning steps rather than regrets.
Taking them back might doom you to repeat them; falling allows you to learn not to trip next time.
one person who lived it
Treat setbacks like video game deaths: accept that failing is normal and keep trying until you succeed.
The game isn't over if one month or week goes wrong.
2 people, independently
- Hold onto your knowing that you can succeed, even when you fail.3
Accept that slip-ups will happen and try again the next day.
Everyone slips up.
one person who lived it
Do not be afraid of making mistakes because time heals.
Time heals.
one person who lived it
29 more on this
When restarting after a setback, refocus on your long-term goal rather than the lost count.
Focusing on long-term goals helps you go back.
one person who lived it
Do not give up early or delude yourself that there is no point in improving.
Most people do not reach their limits and there is always room for improvement.
one person who lived it
View attempts that fail as added training time rather than wasted effort.
Trying and failing is better than never trying at all.
one person who lived it
If things go wrong, try not to see it as a catastrophic event.
4 people, independently
Reframe past wasted time as the coal for the fire that leads to success.
The realization of wasted time and potential regret fuels the drive toward success, forming the brain required to become successful.
one person who lived it
Set your primary goal as not quitting, so you stick to the plan regardless of the outcome.
To regain work ethic and confidence in yourself.
one person who lived it
Persist through multiple failures and keep trying until you find peace.
Sometimes we learn lessons the hard way.
one person who lived it
If you struggle with restarting after mistakes, try practicing playing through errors in low-stakes activities like music instead of stopping.
Learning to play through missed notes on a small scale helped with broader habits.
- It was difficult at first.
one person who lived it
Treat obstacles as the path forward.
The mind adapts impediments to its own purposes, advancing action.
2 people, independently
Maintain belief in your original goal even when you fail to execute it.
Failure does not mean the goal is unreasonable.
one person who lived it
When tired after a setback, pause to analyze whether you need rest or should continue pushing forward.
Rest is very important.
one person who lived it
Recognize that negative feelings may stem from your perspective or judgment rather than the situation itself.
The only bad thing might be your perspective on it or judgment of it.
one person who lived it
Focus on consistency and the speed of your recovery from setbacks.
These factors define what you are able to accomplish more than anything else.
one person who lived it
Write down every memory of failing that supports the thought 'I can't do it' and analyze each one.
Past failures are often due to underpreparation or lack of creative resource use rather than inability.
one person who lived it
On bad days, accept the situation and rely on discipline to behave well, remembering that achievers also have bad days.
Discipline ensures you continue to act in ways that help you achieve your goals.
one person who lived it
Accept that self-improvement involves ups and downs.
Self-improvement is not a linear journey.
2 people, independently
Replace negative self-talk with constructive self-criticism by asking specific questions about why a plan failed, such as whether the system failed or if your plate was too full.
There is no utility in insulting yourself.
one person who lived it
Adapt from mistakes or bad investments rather than discouraging progress.
Moving from nothing to productivity is a big step and lessons can be found.
one person who lived it
Accept that you can make mistakes, experience failure, have off days, and feel scared, and still finish, win, succeed, and do it.
one person who lived it
Focus on the current moment and release concerns about past events or future outcomes beyond your influence.
Life continues and positive developments arrive over time; focusing now maximizes what you can learn.
3 people, independently
Focus on managing your reaction to setbacks rather than striving for perfection.
Consistency is more about managing reactions than being perfect.
one person who lived it
Embrace the difficulty and monotony of necessary tasks by drawing motivation from your larger purpose or vision.
Motivation to get through difficult stuff often needs to come from a larger purpose or vision.
one person who lived it
Direct your perfectionism toward the process rather than the results.
3 people, independently
Avoid creating suffering by dwelling on non-working situations; instead shift focus and consider other possibilities.
Dwelling on things that aren't working creates our own suffering.
one person who lived it
Focus on understanding the subject rather than achieving a score.
It reduces shame and increases engagement and happiness.
one person who lived it
View your biggest problems as opportunities in disguise.
Biggest problems are usually biggest opportunities in disguise.
one person who lived it
Accept that worthwhile pursuits are inherently hard, uncomfortable, and long-lasting, and that wanting to quit is an expected part of the process.
one person who lived it
Focus on the lesson learned over the specific outcome you desired.
one person who lived it
If you grew up equating explanation with making excuses and thus quit classes or jobs rather than working on underlying issues, recognize this pattern.
one person who lived it
Write a novel and submit it to a college critique group, agents, editors, and critical friends; surviving this process builds resilience for anything else.
If you can survive that feedback loop, you can survive anything.
one person who lived it
Read The Odyssey to learn to be strong and brave against adversity.
Adversity will always be there; a brave person accepts it and endures it.
one person who lived it
Cultivate adaptability as a core skill to manage rapid life changes and maintain relevance.
Life changes faster than most realize; being adaptable allows you to control your response to uncontrolled variables and prevents feeling alienated from the world.
one person who lived it
Choose your difficulties wisely, recognizing that life is always hard but you can select which hardships to embrace.
one person who lived it
life20
Begin modestly and maintain consistency in a single life domain before expanding your efforts.
Take care of yourself because you cannot rely on those around you.
We derive value from this reminder.
one person who lived it
Tell yourself to keep going with your efforts even when you are feeling down.
5 people, independently
- Decide now not to give up, acknowledging that there will be many ups and downs in the process.1
Counter the rough-seas analogy by noting that true skill comes from light winds requiring minute adjustments.
Light winds force the use of knowledge and small tweaks to get the most from speed.
one person who lived it
If a week fails, use the weekend to prepare your mind and give your best push on Monday to get back on track.
It helps restart when the previous week didn't work out well.
one person who lived it
15 more on this
Play the best hand you can with the circumstances you are dealt.
2 people, independently
Start building self-awareness by watching the School of Life YouTube channel.
It is a really good place to start.
one person who lived it
Be honest with yourself about your path instead of blindly copying others.
Copying others can result in failure.
one person who lived it
Remember that as long as you are alive, you can always reset.
one person who lived it
Keep playing the cards you have with humor and stubbornness, accepting that your job may just be to participate in the mess rather than win.
one person who lived it
Focus on positives and make the best of bad situations.
It prevents resigning oneself to misery.
one person who lived it
Anticipate success across several tries instead of expecting it from this single attempt.
4 people, independently
Accept criticism that helps you improve professionally, but refuse rudeness.
It will make you a better physician.
one person who lived it
Build a faith, philosophy, or code to hold you upright during uncontrollable hours of sickness, loss, or failure.
one person who lived it
Adopt the mindset that rain continues to fall even in sadness, but look forward to tomorrow being sunny.
one person who lived it
Treat triumph and disaster as impostors and regard them equally.
one person who lived it
Begin modestly and maintain consistency in a single life domain before expanding your efforts.
6 people, independently
Accept that life is about coping with continuous problems rather than expecting smooth sailing forever.
one person who lived it
Create something imperfect quickly to build momentum for better projects later.
one person who lived it
Realize that depending on one person for your entire emotional stability makes it fragile.
one person who lived it