Self awareness

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Ask yourself 'Why?' repeatedly and answer honestly to reach the root of an issue.

    It helps you go deeper.

    2 people, independently

  2. If you want to track changes over time, try creating a video diary once a year.

    One person found it fun to look back at past versions of themselves.

    one person who lived it

  3. List what you do not like about yourself and then find ways to improve in those areas.

    6 people, independently

  4. Pay close attention to your internal feelings just as you do to your money and savings.

    Internal feelings matter just as much as financial savings.

    one person who lived it

  5. Stop talking about your problems and start taking action to break the cycle of looping thoughts.

    Taking action stops the loop; one person found scribbling out the problem like a math formula helped stop the spin.

    one person who lived it

recognize, time, identify, helps38

Give time to yourself daily to introspect, talk to yourself, and keep a journal.

  1. Understand that people often lie to solve problems rather than out of malice.

    It is rarely malicious and happens all the time.

    one person who lived it

  2. Take a step back and consider alternative perspectives when you feel stuck.

    Confirmation bias may blind you to the true nature of your problem.

    one person who lived it

  3. Give time to yourself daily to introspect, talk to yourself, and keep a journal.

    3 people, independently

    • Meditate and practice introspection to gain self-knowledge.1
  4. Journal at the end of the day by writing down how you acted to signal to your brain that recognizing these behaviors is important.

    The simple act of writing down how you acted helps your brain actively recognize the behaviors.

    one person who lived it

33 more on this
  1. Catch yourself when you slip into old negative patterns, such as micromanaging, and consciously step back to trust others.

    Growth involves catching these slips rather than just focusing on what you won't do.

    one person who lived it

  2. When someone shows vulnerability and allows you to judge them, choose love.

    This is true vulnerability and a moment of choice.

    one person who lived it

  3. Seek trusted people who will give you direct, honest feedback to help exit logical loops or self-deception.

    Trusted people can provide necessary perspective ('a slap in the face') when reason fails.

    one person who lived it

  4. Recognize that parts of others that make you recoil may reflect parts of yourself that you don't like.

    one person who lived it

  5. Watch Phil Zimbardo's video 'Why Boys are Failing'.

    It provides insights on male development.

    one person who lived it

  6. Practice mindfulness meditation, such as a 10-minute guided session.

    Its main goal is awareness and self-awareness.

    one person who lived it

  7. Keep a journal and re-read it periodically to identify patterns.

    Re-reading makes patterns pop out.

    one person who lived it

  8. To fix counter-intuitive problems, observe and make notes instead of trusting your instincts.

    Trusting instincts leads to many mistakes.

    one person who lived it

  9. If you feel the need to brag about not needing help, recognize that this may indicate insecurity rather than strength.

    Bragging often requires lying to oneself to keep a false sense of superiority.

    one person who lived it

  10. Settle into a work or life style that represents you well, even if it involves losing.

    one person who lived it

  11. Take up physical activity, be brutally honest with yourself through raw journaling, and take time out of your day for hobbies instead of scrolling through your phone.

    One person attributes their improvement to these habits.

    one person who lived it

  12. Ask yourself why you need constant distraction to figure out what you are avoiding.

    one person who lived it

  13. Create a structured schedule for your day to avoid procrastination and distraction from social media or binge-watching.

    Structure helps you avoid distracting yourself with ambiguities and comforting activities.

    one person who lived it

  14. Track moments when you get distracted and analyze the data to find patterns in habits that need changing.

    This approach helped one person identify necessary habit changes.

    one person who lived it

  15. Keep a simple daily journal focusing on just 1-2 metrics.

    Complicated spreadsheets logging hundreds of metrics are not recommended.

    one person who lived it

  16. Use objective yardsticks to judge your behavior and feelings.

    They are insanely useful.

    one person who lived it

  17. After answering 'who am I?', ask yourself who is aware of that answer to identify the observer behind your concepts.

    one person who lived it

  18. When recording yourself, ensure you have a clear purpose and explain what you are doing rather than filming mundane activities without context.

    There is no point in recording mundane actions like eating snacks while watching TV if there is no explanation.

    one person who lived it

  19. Recognize that the ego or self is an illusion presented by the mind, allowing you to detach.

    one person who lived it

  20. At the beginning of a project, involve your team in creating SOPs, time estimates, tools, quality standards, and exact outcomes, then let them work.

    Including them in outlining helps you stipulate deadlines accordingly and makes everything predictable at the start.

    one person who lived it

  21. Recognize that your personality is not defined by the things you like.

    one person who lived it

  22. Avoid regarding yourself as above others or seeing 'reality' while others are ignorant, as this narcissistic perspective prevents you from seeing their inner depths.

    Regarding yourself as above others hinders connection and insight into others.

    one person who lived it

  23. Review past relationships with family and friends to summarize instances where people got angry, corrected you, or expressed dislike.

    It helps identify areas for personal growth and improvement.

    one person who lived it

  24. Study Stoicism to realize how little you truly control, which provides insight into what really matters.

    one person who lived it

  25. Increase self-awareness to improve yourself.

    Self-awareness is identified as the key to improvement.

    one person who lived it

  26. Apply self-awareness practices to your ideologies, politics, and consumption of journalism.

    It provides the same benefit as other self-awareness practices.

    one person who lived it

  27. If you face recurring problems, recognize that you are the common denominator to take ownership of change.

    one person who lived it

  28. Recognize that your best qualities can be your biggest downfalls, such as being too nice and getting taken advantage of, or being too positive and missing negatives.

    one person who lived it

  29. Remain willing to adjust your position when exposed to superior data, rather than clinging to selected facts.

    3 people, independently

  30. Review recordings of yourself teaching to see what you look and sound like, as self-perception often differs from reality.

    one person who lived it

  31. Use Existentialism to recognize that many perceived obligations are simply internalized expectations from others.

    one person who lived it

  32. Identify and change aspects of your identity or personality to get your desired outcomes.

    one person who lived it

  33. Recognize that becoming aware of an issue is a significant step forward.

    one person who lived it

  1. Journal to gain insight into what drives your choices.

    One person found it insightful for understanding their drivers.

    one person who lived it

  2. Analyze similarities in thoughts and actions between yourself and biological parents to understand your own traits, even if adopted.

    One person found they were very similar to their biological parents despite never meeting them.

    • Based on one person's experience as an adoptee.

    one person who lived it

  3. Acknowledge that early experiences deeply affect development and perspectives, often without realization.

    Early experiences shape us in ways we may not realize.

    one person who lived it

  4. Accept that there is likely a core part of yourself that remains unchanged despite family influence.

    one person who lived it

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