Self compassion
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
If you find it hard to help yourself, try treating your future self as a friend you are helping out.
It is often easier to do nice things for other people than for oneself.
one person who lived it
Avoid self-criticism when you stumble; resume your path instead of quitting.
15 people, independently
- Forgive yourself immediately after a slip-up.1
Be kind to yourself rather than beating yourself up on failures.
pushing yourself too hard leads to burnout
one person who lived it
Find comfort in realizing that others make the same horrendously stupid mistakes you once did.
It provides relief in knowing you are not the only idiot.
one person who lived it
Expect to fall off track occasionally in any pursuit.
Falling off is inevitable and part of the process.
one person who lived it
Practice acceptance and self-kindness instead of berating yourself.
Negative motivation multiplies negativity and hinders long-term success; you cannot create love from hate.
one person who lived it
Treat yourself with gentleness, avoiding criticism or frustration when you do not meet your own expectations, as if caring for an abandoned child.
Developing a good relationship with your inner child.
one person who lived it
Imagine a wise figure smiling at your mistakes because they have made them too, to help yourself forgive and repeat the cycle of improvement.
one person who lived it