Social confidence
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not let fear of judgment stop you from starting, as showing up is itself a victory.
You are not expected to be skilled when you are new.
one person who lived it
Remember that everyone was once new and started somewhere.
Even fit people were once skinny and weak.
2 people, independently
Ask experienced lifters for advice or demonstrations; they are often happy to help because they started from somewhere too.
Most of us are happy to help, and we all got there from somewhere.
3 people, independently
Offer to spot overweight or weak people at the gym to show respect and support.
It's hard to make a change.
one person who lived it
Think 'good for you' when seeing others exercise.
To hope they reciprocate this thought about you.
one person who lived it
Ask fit regulars for advice or help.
It is flattering to them, and they often take pleasure in helping others get into the hobby.
2 people, independently
Reframe judgment by focusing on your effort to change rather than sitting at home.
To judge yourself positively before others can judge you.
one person who lived it
Focus on your own workout and assume nobody is paying attention to you.
People generally have their own workout plans and do not notice new faces.
2 people, independently
Provide book names, tutorial links, and supplier contacts to those wanting to enter your craft.
This support can lead to new friendships or customers who return to show you their work.
one person who lived it
12 more on this
Mind your own business at the gym regardless of how long you have been there.
Attention makes some people nervous.
2 people, independently
Check the instructional stickers on machines first, but ask staff for help if you are still confused.
Staff are there to assist you.
one person who lived it
- Request assistance from others if you are unsure how to operate a machine or perform an exercise.3
View competition as internal rather than external.
You are competing against yourself to do better, and there are no boundaries to holding back.
one person who lived it
Reframe the 'spotlight effect' by realizing that people looking at you are likely judging themselves against you, not criticizing you.
Almost all regulars do not care about others.
one person who lived it
Welcome newcomers and express gladness that they are there.
Everyone starts from somewhere.
one person who lived it
Watch YouTube videos to learn exercises if you cannot afford a trainer.
The point is not to discourage people.
one person who lived it
Chat with experienced people and show care for their work to learn about equipment and techniques.
Talking to experts can teach you specific technical details, such as lens capabilities.
one person who lived it
Report concerns about potentially dangerous behavior to the front desk rather than confronting the person directly.
Staff can step in to handle dangerous situations.
one person who lived it
Recognize that you are further ahead than someone who has not started exercising at all.
one person who lived it
Consider using wristbands to state your preference for interaction.
To make it simpler.
one person who lived it
Offer encouragement to beginners trying new things instead of criticizing their technique.
Encouragement builds bridges while arrogance builds walls.
one person who lived it
Follow basic gym etiquette such as reracking weights, wiping down equipment, and not hogging machines to avoid negative attention.
Violating etiquette is considered a more serious offense than lacking physical fitness.
3 people, independently