Values

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Offer your time, help, and focus without seeking repayment.

    8 people, independently

  2. Discover your core values and beliefs.

    They directly or indirectly influence your life.

    one person who lived it

  3. Define success as being alive, having a place to live, and doing what you like.

    one person who lived it

  4. Define 'good' dopamine as any action that moves you toward your personal goals, including relaxation.

    Because nothing is inherently good or bad; it is a decision we make based on whether the action aligns with our aims.

    one person who lived it

  5. Question inherited beliefs by recognizing they were taught to you rather than originating from your own experience.

    Distinguishing taught beliefs from personal truths led to significant improvement for one person.

    • Based on one person's experience

    one person who lived it

  1. Define what you personally want and value rather than internalizing others' ideas of success.

    Having a clear sense of personal values makes it easier to put consistent energy into bigger life goals.

    one person who lived it

  2. Take up personal reflection early in life, such as when graduating college.

    Life pressures like kids and careers eventually swallow up time for reflection.

    one person who lived it

  3. Define what matters by what you actually did rather than how much money you earned.

    one person who lived it

  4. Focus on growth, creation/giving/gratitude, love/connection, stimulation, ego/significance, and security in that order.

    Having something to give requires growth; giving and growing leads to connection, love, stimulation, and strength.

    one person who lived it

7 more on this
  1. Recognize that life is cruel and strive to avoid cruelty rather than imitating it.

    one person who lived it

  2. Focus on real-world adventures over seeking digital validation like photo likes.

    one person who lived it

  3. Reject the assumption that a conventional lifestyle and worldly success define your value.

    one person who lived it

    • Reject societal assumptions about the importance of material possessions.1
  4. Question whether your work facilitates growth or fame, and whether you value possessions or consciousness.

    one person who lived it

  5. Rebalance your value system to include traits like kindness, patience, optimism, dark humor, pragmatism, and efficiency, rather than just intelligence.

    one person who lived it

  6. Decide on your values, daily priorities, desired personality traits, and ideal day structure.

    one person who lived it

  7. Focus on decent human traits like self-awareness and thoughtfulness instead of categorizing them as masculine or feminine.

    one person who lived it

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