Compassion
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Write a handwritten note on a blank card using your own words rather than buying a pre-printed card.
Buying something from a store can imply the person is not worth your time; handwritten notes mean more.
one person who lived it
Write down your signature recipes and leave them around the house.
Finding them makes the recipient feel like you didn't forget about them.
one person who lived it
Use the Ring Theory: keep hope and uplifting words close to the afflicted, and vent negative feelings only to those further away.
It helps keep hope close to the afflicted while purging negative feelings as far as possible.
one person who lived it
Play music from the patient's youth during visits.
Alzheimer's and dementia cannot erase memories of music; patients may sing along knowing the lyrics.
2 people, independently
Watch a funny TV series box set that the patient enjoys.
Laughing together creates a great memory.
one person who lived it
Go through family photos with an older relative to identify unknown people and share memories.
It helps fill in gaps in family history and allows you to remember great times together.
one person who lived it
Play music the loved one enjoyed, such as old records of bands they liked.
one person who lived it
If the patient enjoys listening, engage in gentle conversation or reminiscing near them, allowing for natural silent pauses.
It can be peaceful for them to listen to.
one person who lived it
Research 'Ram Dass, death and dying' for practical, nonreligious spiritual guidance.
It offers practical solutions from a spiritual but nonreligious perspective.
one person who lived it
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Facilitate one last meaningful activity, such as a favorite hobby, before the patient loses mobility, and document it with photos.
one person who lived it