Compatibility

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

  1. Be strict with your own standards but tolerant of your partner's differences; do not project your ideals onto them.

    Expecting others to change to fit your ideas is a negative move; love them for who they are.

    one person who lived it

  2. Be aware that meeting in the middle when habits are drastically different may hinder success.

    Meeting in the middle may hinder your success.

    one person who lived it

  3. Set three extremely small, achievable goals each morning to counter boredom and get momentum going.

    To counter boredom and get the ball rolling.

    one person who lived it

  4. Build a life separate from your partner by focusing on friends, hobbies, and personal goals.

    5 people, independently

4 more on this
  1. Focus on sharing only the most important values, allowing reasonable debate over other differences to strengthen communication.

    Reasonable debate strengthens communication.

    one person who lived it

  2. Treat a disagreement over having children as non-negotiable in a relationship.

    one person who lived it

  3. Discuss big ticket issues early, including intentions on having kids, work and finance expectations, religious beliefs, and politics.

    one person who lived it

  4. Reconsider a relationship if one partner refuses to do any household work.

    one person who lived it

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