Emotional intimacy
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Conclude chats with loved ones as though it might be the final time you speak.
Future interactions are not certain, so avoid saying things you would regret if it were the last exchange.
- Some find this annoying, fake, or needy.
- It can creep out dates and flag you as emotional.
3 people, independently
Tell loved ones if you love or miss them; do not keep these feelings secret.
Keeping it a secret may mean it stays a secret forever.
one person who lived it
Save voicemail messages from loved ones as audio files off the phone to preserve their voice in case of loss.
Carriers may purge old stuff or phones may be lost.
2 people, independently
Use a consistent, simple phrase like 'Love you, bye-bye' when parting from a partner.
To ensure these are the last words exchanged if something happens.
one person who lived it
Show appreciation through actions, such as sitting down for weekly dinners, rather than just saying 'I love you'.
Actions match a higher level of feeling than words alone.
one person who lived it
To determine how much someone matters to you, imagine having to give their eulogy.
It forces you to think quickly about their place in your life.
one person who lived it
Say your goodbyes well in advance of a departure if there is any uncertainty about seeing each other again before then.
Assumptions that you will see each other before leaving rarely come true.
one person who lived it
Frequently express love to friends and family, as sudden death can turn any moment into the last.
3 people, independently
Ask your mother about her pregnancy experiences before she passes away.
one person who lived it