Empathy
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not tell someone to smile if they appear sad.
It can make them feel worse, disregarded, or rude, as telling someone to feel a certain way usually has the opposite effect.
- Not everyone who doesn't smile is sad.
3 people, independently
Listen to your gut feeling if you suspect someone is struggling and talk to them, as you are likely right.
You are right 9 out of 10 times.
one person who lived it
Offer to walk with a friend who seems uncomfortable in a crowd to help them decompress while continuing the interaction.
It gets them out of their discomfort while keeping the social interaction going.
- Do not be pushy if they decline.
one person who lived it
Do not try to force quiet or unexpressive people to be upbeat and cheery.
Quiet, unexpressive people hate being forced to be something they are not.
one person who lived it
Smile at someone instead of telling them to smile.
Smiles are often contagious.
one person who lived it
Assume people are busy with their own lives and loved ones rather than bad.
Most people are too busy looking out for themselves and their families.
one person who lived it
When someone shares a problem, ask if they want suggestions or just need to be heard.
3 people, independently
Send occasional check-ins to friends or loved ones who seem distant, as they may be in a downward spiral and your message could be their only comfort.
People going through internal changes may push others away; your contact might be their 'sunshine' during a dark time.
one person who lived it
If a person is not interested in small talk, do not force them into random conversations under the guise of inclusion.
It only serves to alienate them.
one person who lived it
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Perform small acts of service, such as buying a meal, and spend time together to show appreciation.
It can make the recipient happier by providing something to do and feeling appreciated.
one person who lived it
Treat normally upbeat people normally when they are having a bad day.
They prefer to be treated as usual rather than having their lack of smiling pointed out.
one person who lived it
Avoid using one-liners when low on social energy, as they obligate others to ask what is wrong.
People generally do not want to be asked what is wrong when they lack energy.
one person who lived it
Create a plan to move into your own space if your current living situation is difficult.
one person who lived it
Do not dismiss others' feelings by saying something is 'not a big deal'.
Everyone has different histories and perspectives.
one person who lived it
Understand that people who appear happiest may actually be the opposite and are simply good actors.
one person who lived it
Respond to others' hardships with raw, genuine empathy instead of rehearsed customer-service phrases or standard consolations.
Authentic understanding of how difficult a situation is fosters lasting connections.
one person who lived it
Reject toxic masculinity and avoid listening to sexist judgments about crying.
3 people, independently
Approach advice on Reddit's Life Pro Tips subreddit with skepticism, especially regarding psychology.
Posters often seek karma rather than truthfulness.
one person who lived it