Financial support
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not compare your situation to peers who receive parental support.
It makes you resentful and steals your joy.
one person who lived it
Help low-income parents apply for housing assistance immediately.
The process can take years.
one person who lived it
Calculate the value of financial support in terms of 'hours worked' to judge whether the emotional and financial cost is worth the benefit.
It helps determine if it is worth it.
one person who lived it
Contact the local Area Council on Aging to access a wider range of resources beyond basic Medicaid, SNAP, and SSI.
There are A LOT more resources available through them.
one person who lived it
Encourage parents to use available government benefits rather than relying on your income, even if they feel awkward about it.
Parents may feel awkward getting benefits because they don't feel poor, but their pension may not be indexed, making them poorer every day.
- Do not subsidize their pride.
one person who lived it
Provide creditors with a death certificate if the deceased parent had no real assets to seize.
Creditors may give up pursuing the debt in this scenario.
one person who lived it
Contact the university financial aid director to inform them of a student's difficult situation.
They may be able to find grants or funds for the student.
one person who lived it
Establish your own financial security and retirement funds before assisting elderly parents.
You cannot assist others if your personal finances are disorganized.
4 people, independently
If parents sacrificed for their children and community, do not blame them for a lack of individual planning.
Viewing support as selfish is a separatist way of thinking that ignores communal contributions.
one person who lived it
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Separate wants from needs early to make living cheaply your default mindset.
It reduces financial stress and makes frugality feel painless.
one person who lived it
Do not rely on older adults for financial advice if their perspective is based on economic conditions from decades ago that no longer apply.
The economic landscape was completely different then.
one person who lived it
Recognize that outdated job-hunting advice may fail because modern hiring processes differ from the past.
Applications may never be viewed or result in delayed rejections without feedback.
one person who lived it
Educate yourself on financial literacy through podcasts, YouTube, and forums to improve spending and saving habits independently.
You'll be so happy you did.
one person who lived it
Invent a story that an item was given to you for free to justify giving it to proud relatives who would never spend money on it.
one person who lived it
Recognize that adult children supporting parents is a historical norm rather than a failure of self-sufficiency.
one person who lived it