Friendships
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Mirror the level of effort and initiation from the other person to gauge their interest in the friendship.
You cannot compel people to spend time they do not wish to; matching energy can reveal whether they are busy or uninvested. Some connections may fade.
- Some relationships have disappeared when doing this.
3 people, independently
Be authentic in social interactions rather than pretending to be someone else.
The 'pretend you' won't normally make lasting relationships.
4 people, independently
Consider ending friendships where you are consistently the only one reaching out or making plans.
One-sided relationships are not worth it.
5 people, independently
- Do not announce you are ending a friendship; simply stop being available for hanging out.3
Ask the person directly why you were not invited to an event.
Ruminating and assuming reasons is a big mistake.
5 people, independently
Spend more time with people who support your growth and make you a better person.
4 people, independently
Wait two full seconds after the other person finishes speaking before you plan your reply.
3 people, independently
Set boundaries and remove friends whose behaviors you cannot tolerate from your sphere of concern.
6 people, independently
Mirror the other person's energy and balance the effort you give based on what they are giving you.
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- Ensure the returns on your friendship investments are roughly equal to the effort you put in.3
Expand your social horizons by trying to meet new, like-minded people rather than fixating on the strained friendship.
3 people, independently
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Show enthusiasm, interest in others, and positivity to make yourself more pleasant to be around.
3 people, independently