Games
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Influence your partner's opinion so they decide on their own that there are better uses for their time, rather than forcing them to change.
You can make them want to do something instead of making them do it.
one person who lived it
Avoid judging your partner's feelings about losing, both in the moment and afterward.
Judging them for feeling bad does not make them feel better.
one person who lived it
Ask your partner if you can film them playing the game so they can see how boring they appear from an outside perspective.
People often have no clue how boring they appear on the outside while playing.
one person who lived it
Ignore the game itself and concentrate your attention entirely on your partner as a person, regardless of whether your reaction is positive or negative.
Giving the game too much attention, in either direction, is less effective than focusing on the person.
one person who lived it
Focus on the fun of making interesting choices during gameplay rather than the final win or loss outcome.
It can help avoid negative ruts by shifting attention to gameplay over conclusions.
one person who lived it
Withhold criticism during strong negative emotions and instead show support by relating to their frustration.
People experiencing strong negative emotions are rarely receptive to criticism.
one person who lived it
Choose semi-cooperative games where players ostensibly work against the game's mechanics but retain individual victory conditions.
This allows you to keep things competitive without feeling like you are deliberately attacking the other player.
one person who lived it
If competitive play leads to tantrums or requires you to throw the game, switch to cooperative board games.
one person who lived it
Ask your partner about the game's mechanics, story, objectives, rewards, and social interactions to show genuine interest.
one person who lived it