Gift giving
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Gift high-quality king-sized pillows to those you know will use them daily.
They are durable and used every day.
- Pricey
one person who lived it
Gift gift cards to nice restaurants for people who wouldn't spend that money on themselves.
Recipients may want to treat themselves but won't convince themselves to do it.
one person who lived it
Keep a running list of items a loved one mentions wanting throughout the year.
It helps track desires over time; one person maintained a list of about 40 items for their wife over 12 years.
one person who lived it
Avoid giving gift cards to expensive venues if the amount provided is insufficient for a full experience.
A small amount (e.g., $50) at a fancy restaurant may not cover even an appetizer, forcing the recipient to spend more out of pocket to use the card.
one person who lived it
Avoid buying junk gifts.
They become a chore for the recipient to dispose of properly.
one person who lived it
Buy fishing bait instead of a cheap fishing rod for a colleague who likes fishing.
A cheap rod is something they will probably never use.
one person who lived it
Avoid gifting experiences that require the recipient to incur significant travel time, hotel costs, or take time off work.
Such gifts can shift a low-cost present into a much larger expense for the recipient.
one person who lived it
Spend your budget on a premium version of a common, useful object rather than a low-quality luxury good.
The item is likely better made and is something the recipient probably wouldn't purchase for themselves.
5 people, independently
Ask the person directly what they want if you do not know them well enough to choose an experience.
You might otherwise gift an experience they dislike or cannot enjoy due to fears or preferences.
one person who lived it
- Give gift cards if you are unsure about gifting experiences.1
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Send DoorDash or UberEats gift cards to new parents instead of traditional baby gifts.
New parents often lack time to cook, making this better received than diapers or toys.
one person who lived it
Buy concert tickets for each other and present them in a handwritten card.
It is an even, symbolic exchange that ensures time spent together doing something you bond over.
one person who lived it
Spend money on shared experiences rather than physical objects to create memorable times with someone.
- Some people prefer gifting physical objects over experiences.
4 people, independently
Freeze portioned cookie dough balls in bags labeled with baking temperature and time for recipients to bake fresh.
one person who lived it
Buy high-end stationery or similar luxury consumables that the recipient would never buy for themselves.
one person who lived it