Intimacy
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Check that a bed's height allows for comfortable sexual positions before purchasing it.
A bed that is too high can force uncomfortable postures, such as standing on tiptoes or arching the back, making certain positions difficult.
- It is difficult to test this discreetly in a mattress store.
one person who lived it
Schedule regular weekly dates where sex is not pushed or expected to strengthen bonds and increase spark.
Removing pressure helps build stronger connections and reignite attraction.
one person who lived it
Show affection without the expectation of sex to avoid turning off your partner.
Being affectionate only when you want sex is a turnoff.
one person who lived it
Hold hands with your partner while driving; one person noted this was their greatest desire and still loved it 20+ years into marriage.
- one person's experience
one person who lived it
Communicate with your partner to identify which parts of their breasts are most sensitive or pleasurable.
Sensitivity varies; for example, one person found their nipples extremely sensitive while the rest of the breast was numb.
one person who lived it
If you are both inexperienced at ice skating, use the activity as an excuse to hold onto each other for balance to naturally break the touch barrier.
Touching for support reduces awkwardness by getting you used to physical contact in a non-romantic context.
- This approach relies on both parties being poor skaters.
one person who lived it
Help with household chores to make your partner feel like an equal.
Nobody wants to be intimate with their parent figure; helping also reduces exhaustion and resentment from shouldering the majority of work.
one person who lived it
Consider that fantasies about physical affection may be more fulfilling than sexual ones for some people.
- One person reported this experience, noting uncertainty if they are in the minority.
one person who lived it
Practice being fully present with a partner by noticing specific sensory details like their smell, freckles, and eye color.
one person who lived it
2 more on this
Develop a form of intimate physical contact with your partner early in the relationship, before they end up in the hospital.
one person who lived it
Ask your partner directly what they want regarding intimacy rather than assuming based on internet advice.
one person who lived it