Making friends
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Search online for local recreational sports leagues, such as kickball or axe throwing, to join teams and build long-term friendships.
One person found that joining a kickball team led to a group of close friends that lasted nine years; another met a best friend through volleyball.
3 people, independently
Recognize that how others treat you reflects their internal state, not your worth.
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Avoid friends who only nod along or change their stance when you do; seek independent thinkers instead.
A friend who merely mirrors you does not offer more value than your own shadow.
one person who lived it
Meet enough people with zero expectations so that some will click.
It is a numbers game.
one person who lived it
Frequent the same local bar or cafe once or twice weekly to become a familiar face and connect with other regulars.
One person reported making friends in their 30s this way, which eventually led to house parties and group trips.
one person who lived it
Focus on spending time together to maintain friendships.
It is the primary factor that keeps friendships going.
one person who lived it
Join new team or group activities to get along with others first, which may lead to one-on-one interactions.
It is easier to get along in a group setting first.
one person who lived it
Reach out to distant friends by acknowledging life stress and asking how they are doing.
This approach helps reconnect when you assume they might be mad or ignoring you.
one person who lived it
Attend events related to your hobbies repeatedly to increase the chance of meeting like-minded people.
One person reported this is how they met most of their friends when they had no one to hang out with.
one person who lived it
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Spend enough time around people to allow a level of trust to develop.
Trust builds over time through consistent presence.
one person who lived it
Invite him to low-key group activities like picnics or game nights, letting him control which invitations he accepts.
Watching how he interacts with others may help you have similar interactions.
one person who lived it
Avoid completely cutting off old friends; instead, reduce contact but maintain occasional check-ins via text or hangouts.
One person regretted not doing this, noting that friends often reach similar life stages later on.
one person who lived it
Focus on the experience of activities rather than the people present to reduce resentment when friendships don't last.
It helps grow a mindset of abundance and prevents growing resentment.
one person who lived it
Accept introductions from older groups without being choosy, as they often have friends and family in your age range whom they have vetted.
Older people love introducing people they have vetted.
one person who lived it
Join a part-time job or sports activity to build friendships through shared experiences.
Bonds grow stronger when people share an experience together.
one person who lived it
Express your true feelings and bond over shared emotional atmospheres instead of trying to say the 'right' thing to please others.
Trying to please others prevents genuine bonding.
one person who lived it
Try shorter stories if he seems drained by longer ones, to calibrate the length of interaction.
The previous approach might have been right but went on too long.
one person who lived it
Accept that having fewer close friendships over a wide circle of acquaintances as you age.
Quality matters more than quantity, and making true friends becomes harder as people get busier with age.
one person who lived it
Find local activity groups that feel more approachable than bars or parties.
They feel more approachable than bars or parties.
one person who lived it
Join online communities that share your common interest.
People often want to make beginners feel welcome.
one person who lived it
Wear approachable clothing like jeans, sneakers, and a lighter button-up instead of all black, which can seem scary.
All black can be perceived as scary, while other outfits are more approachable.
one person who lived it
Visit local dog parks to meet other pet owners.
One person reported making a new friend there recently.
one person who lived it
If you feel isolated, try taking classes in activities like dance, cooking, pottery, sports, or running to force interaction with strangers outside your comfort zone.
One person reported that starting dance classes two years ago improved their isolation.
one person who lived it
Leave the door open for reconnection with friends who have drifted away due to life stages, without expecting immediate reunion.
Growing apart is normal and does not mean the relationship ended badly.
one person who lived it
Join a recreational group like a skating club; one person found it awesome after three months.
one person who lived it
Start by having low-pressure conversations with paid staff or hosts to build confidence before approaching groups.
It builds the confidence and momentum needed for harder social interactions.
one person who lived it
Demonstrate independence through actions by maintaining other interests in your life and caring less about others' opinions.
Actions show you aren't needy better than words do.
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Be vulnerable and explicitly ask people you vibe with to hang out.
Vulnerability makes others more comfortable being vulnerable in return, which is necessary for making friends.
one person who lived it
Interact with current friends individually rather than always in groups to build stronger and closer bonds.
Individual interactions may help create a stronger bond with each person.
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Accept that friendships with parents may change dynamics but can continue in a lower-key manner.
one person who lived it
Practice maturity and emotional regulation in sibling relationships, such as laughing off jokes instead of fighting.
Maturity changed the relationship for the better.
one person who lived it
Accept that some friendships are temporary and conditional, serving to fill voids during specific circumstances like school or work.
3 people, independently
Volunteer or attend exhibitions and craft sessions to meet people through shared activities.
One person got the number of someone they volunteered with and is attending other events like calligraphy exhibitions.
one person who lived it
Introduce yourself by sharing specific likes and dislikes to identify common interests.
It allows you to elaborate on shared topics with potential friends.
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Connect with friends made through video games by meeting in person for group activities like camping.
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