More on the people close to you
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Record video or audio interviews with elderly loved ones while they are alive, asking specific questions about their life stories and memories.
It brings them joy, alleviates loneliness, and creates a digital legacy for future generations.
- Obtain permission before recording.
7 people, independently
- Record short videos of loved ones telling stories or sharing memories to capture visual presence and specific anecdotes.3
If you need the ritual of shopping to cope, try going to a Goodwill Outlet to satisfy that urge by finding deals for pennies.
It gets the urge out of your system.
one person who lived it
Be prepared for partners or peers to resist bidets due to social stigma or perception of abnormality.
Some people view them as 'not normal,' scary, or fear others will laugh.
- Resistance may persist even after years of exposure.
one person who lived it
Accept early on that you cannot change other people.
True change must come from within them, and accepting this leads to a better life.
one person who lived it
Sit with the patient simply to let them know they are not alone.
Being present shows that they were well loved.
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record, family, stories, grieving38
Work out whether keeping voicemails aids or hinders your grieving process before deciding to preserve them.
If you run out of things to say, read a book aloud to the person.
It provides words to say.
2 people, independently
Plan date nights one month in advance to prevent forgetting due to busy schedules.
Life gets busy, making it hard to remember without prior planning.
one person who lived it
Build a solid support system of trusted friends and family who can provide childcare or help when needed.
Knowing you have people who can pitch in is a huge help.
one person who lived it
If you are helping an older relative transition away from driving, view their efforts to see you as a gift and a source of joy for them.
They may be eager to see you, making the act of picking you up their highlight.
one person who lived it
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Ask the grieving person about the deceased's personality and interests if they are ready to shift their mindset-wise.
It keeps the memory alive and allows the loss to feel more gradual.
- Ensure the person is in a different mind space before asking; do not ask while they are sobbing.
one person who lived it
Play voicemails on speakerphone and record them using a separate device's voice memo app.
This creates a backup that can be stored in the cloud.
- The recording quality may be lower.
3 people, independently
Give a gift package containing toilet paper, tissues, and eye gel.
Eye gel feels good after crying, and running out of toilet paper is stressful.
one person who lived it
Teach aging parents how to use technology themselves or refer them to learning resources, rather than doing tasks for them.
Waiting may result in them getting scammed online.
- For some older people, it is too stressful and upsetting.
one person who lived it
Hold the patient's hand, caress them, or kiss their forehead to let them know you are there.
Touching is helpful, especially if it was part of interaction when they were more active.
one person who lived it
Work out whether keeping voicemails aids or hinders your grieving process before deciding to preserve them.
Listening repeatedly can become obsessive and unhealthy if used for comfort or inability to let go; however, it may be acceptable if grief has resolved and the goal is simple memory preservation.
- Some find that deleting voicemails relieves the stress of potentially losing them again.
- Hearing a deceased loved one's voice can be devastating for some people.
5 people, independently
Take up the patient's former hobbies yourself, such as sewing or baking, allowing them to give instructions or watch.
The patient may take delight in doing hobbies through you.
one person who lived it
Gift diapers and wipes to new parents.
These items are expensive and used up quickly.
one person who lived it
Record extensive video of young children playing and talking.
You will likely value these videos more than photos when they are older.
one person who lived it
Make cookies together from scratch, mix, or premade dough.
It is fun.
one person who lived it
Send video links instead of playing videos on your phone for others to watch.
It allows viewers to skim or stop early without feeling pressured to manage their facial expressions.
one person who lived it
Tell others where you got a handmade item from a loved one when asked.
It gives the maker a jolt of happiness.
one person who lived it
If a deaf grandparent is in your life, learn to use email together to keep a close relationship through written communication.
One person reported that their deaf grandparents taught themselves email in the '90s, which resulted in a very close relationship with them.
one person who lived it
Bulk meal-prep together to turn cooking into a social activity with music and wine.
It saves time and makes the process enjoyable.
one person who lived it
Pass down books to children by adding your own messages about your experiences with them, aiming to create family heirlooms.
The hope is that they will cherish the books and add their own notes for future generations.
one person who lived it
With consent and at a convenient time, clean non-tech-savvy relatives' phones by deleting spam, archiving important data, updating apps, and explaining changes.
It helps keep them safe online and ensures they are satisfied with their device.
- Some view this behavior as creepy or controlling.
one person who lived it
Mail memorial checks instead of handing them directly to family members at visitations.
Handing a check forces the grieving person to deal with an extra detail during the worst days of their life.
one person who lived it
Celebrate holidays on alternative dates if you must work on the actual day, focusing on quality time rather than the specific calendar date.
The recipient will remember the experience of the day, not the specific date.
one person who lived it
Volunteer at elderly homes to speak with seniors who lack grandchildren.
Many residents wish to share stories and connect with someone.
one person who lived it
Schedule dedicated time to talk and reconnect emotionally when your child is asleep, rather than only interacting as parents.
It is really the emotional connection that matters, not just how things are phrased.
one person who lived it
Delete all personal contacts and photos of the ex to stop torturing yourself.
Keeping reminders is described as self-torture.
one person who lived it
Offer electrolyte drinks to people who are crying heavily.
Crying causes hydration loss, and grieving people may not think to replenish it.
one person who lived it
Coordinate with other friends to send different foods on different days to those mourning.
It helps avoid overwhelming the bereaved with duplicate meals.
one person who lived it
Watch movies or TV shows together over video call by timing starts and pauses to stay synchronized.
It removes the hassle of trying to sync manually without tools.
one person who lived it
Set up the console before family activities so updates can run while kids spend time with family and friends instead of gaming immediately.
Updates take time, allowing kids to do other things on Christmas day.
one person who lived it
Frame tidying up as a joint activity focused on the future reward of saving time, rather than as scolding or punishment.
Finding items where they belong saves time when you are late for a meeting.
one person who lived it
If you engage in high-risk activities like motorcycle riding, keep a ziploc bag with small trinkets and letters from family in your jacket pocket.
It lets your family know you were thinking of them if an accident occurs.
one person who lived it
Create a contact group labeled 'Do not answer' containing exes, spam, and sales numbers, then block the entire group to prevent accidental or curious contact.
It prevents accidental contact or getting curious and unblocking an ex's number.
one person who lived it
Keep a note on your phone to remember details about your partner's hobbies, gift preferences, and other interests.
4 people, independently
Address family members individually in one-on-one settings rather than confronting them together to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
Talking to multiple people at once may cause you to become overwhelmed.
one person who lived it
View losing people as painful but necessary, similar to losing teeth.
one person who lived it
Tell the patient stories about shared memories, your daily life, plans, or other relatives.
3 people, independently
Record longer clips of children to avoid wishing you had captured more duration later.
one person who lived it
Leave small notes of encouragement for friends going through transitions, as they may become cherished artifacts.
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recognize, people, often, person18
Recognize that you are likely projecting onto an idealized version of the person rather than seeing the real individual.
Voice your displeasure about specific topics so others know where your boundaries lie and can respect them.
Others cannot know where your boundaries lie if you have never voiced your displeasure.
one person who lived it
Consider that siblings may react angrily to requests for help because they perceive you as only reaching out when you need something, especially if you rarely spoke before asking.
People get annoyed when reached out to only for help after being cut off for a long time.
one person who lived it
Use statistics to show that while some support controversial notions, many do not.
The numbers show that many do not support the specific demands, even if the proportions are worrying.
one person who lived it
If blunt honesty makes people angry, recognize they may be reacting to the surprise of your disagreement rather than your character; seek out people who accept you as you are.
People often assume agreement with those who do not speak their minds, so hearing a contrary view can trigger anger based on a false perception of you.
one person who lived it
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Recognize that you are likely projecting onto an idealized version of the person rather than seeing the real individual.
4 people, independently
Examine your attachments closely to see the facts rather than imagining them.
This breaks down unrealistic dreams.
one person who lived it
Ask for reasons behind political views rather than assuming negative motivations.
People may have good reasons that could surprise you.
one person who lived it
Recognize that pushing people away may be your way of apologizing for past hurts rather than protecting others.
- Based on one person's realization about their own behavior.
one person who lived it
Recognize that neurodivergence can help with strong connections between compatible people whose brains communicate.
One person reported communicating better with another neurodivergent partner than with neurotypical people.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Recognize that hating lazy or unmotivated people may be a projection of your own intolerance for those traits in yourself.
Intolerances in others often reflect intolerances in oneself.
one person who lived it
Explain using common sense why unsupervised heavy drinking is dangerous instead of quoting statistics or showing videos.
Statistics and anti-drinking videos do not get them to listen.
one person who lived it
Reject overly simplistic or black-and-white takes on complex human behavioral issues in relationships.
Such takes are not applicable to everyone.
one person who lived it
Consider that complaints about others may be honest recollections of problems rather than indiscriminate trash-talking.
Some people objectively cause issues, making negative comments factual rather than malicious.
one person who lived it
Acknowledge that maintaining social support networks requires daily vulnerability, bravery, and kindness.
Sustaining these connections demands consistent emotional labor.
one person who lived it
Recognize that age gaps are often viewed as dangerous because older, experienced people can manipulate younger, naive ones.
The experience gap allows the older person to trick the younger person.
one person who lived it
If you suspect a parent's extreme obsession with homosexuality stems from projection, recognize that such intense hate often means they are thinking about it constantly, possibly fearing their own attraction.
- This is speculative ('maybe he even fears...').
one person who lived it
Address double standards by talking openly about the unfounded fears and conditions causing them.
Once examined, identified, and discussed, they are likely to be dismissed easily.
one person who lived it
Interpret rigid or disproportionate reactions as a communication difference rather than enmity.
one person who lived it
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Stop chasing people or seeking friendship with those who want nothing to do with you.
Put on your jacket ten minutes before leaving a warm venue to warm it up for someone else.
Your body heat warms the jacket, making it comfortable for a cold companion outside.
- It may signal impatience to end the date.
- It can look foolish wearing a jacket at the table.
one person who lived it
Observe how your loved ones show affection and reciprocate in similar ways, as they may give love in the manner they wish to receive it.
People tend to do for others what they would like done for themselves.
- Some individuals may not follow this pattern.
one person who lived it
Ask a friend or coworker for a small favor to strengthen your bond with them.
People tend to like and feel more bonded to those they help because it makes them feel useful.
one person who lived it
Accept that people spending time with you out of boredom are better than those unwilling to share any time at all.
This was learned through tears and frustration.
one person who lived it
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Temporarily drop your usual persona and say something crazy just to see what happens, rather than strictly being 'you'.
It allows you to have fun with the experience of life.
one person who lived it
Examine how a potential partner treats people they dislike to predict how they will treat you in the future.
That behavior will eventually be directed at you.
one person who lived it
Warm up your partner's car and scrape frost off the windshield on cold days.
This act is described as highly appreciated and attractive.
one person who lived it
Stop chasing people or seeking friendship with those who want nothing to do with you.
4 people, independently
Behave well so people can respect you.
Once you lose someone's respect, they have lost everything.
one person who lived it
Observe people over time to determine their character instead of labeling them as good or bad based on single incidents.
People do not display clear signs of being 'good' or 'bad'.
one person who lived it
Introduce the person to friends who share their interests and values to help them see those people as part of their in-group.
It becomes impossible to hate someone you feel is in your in-group because of shared interests.
one person who lived it
Change the people you surround yourself with to help with positive changes in your own behavior.
Changing your social circle can lead to changing your behavior.
one person who lived it
Set an expected duration for a meeting when you arrange it.
People cannot adhere to your comfort level if they do not know the timeframe.
one person who lived it
Select your close circle carefully, since you tend to mirror the habits of the five people you interact with most frequently.
4 people, independently
Wash dishes while food cools to keep them clean with little effort.
You end up with clean dishes and put in little effort.
one person who lived it
Reach out to people to make an impact, rather than simply knowing them.
Making an impact makes simply knowing someone valuable.
one person who lived it
Support colleagues on the ground floor by helping them when you can, especially if they were kind to you when others were nasty.
We have to have each other's backs.
one person who lived it
Retrain your brain to seek out positive, advancing people instead of familiar toxicity.
It fills you with good relationships and helps heal old scars from bad family dynamics.
one person who lived it
If you are on the phone with a service worker, try to make them laugh.
Their job is likely unpleasant, and making them cheerful may encourage them to go the extra mile.
one person who lived it
Match the level of effort and respect you give others to the level they give you.
Pulling back and reciprocating effort often leads to being treated better by others.
one person who lived it
Be mindful of your words and expressions toward strangers, as both kindness and unkindness can be remembered fondly or negatively for decades.
A simple smile and kind word, or a scowl and unkind remark, can be remembered for decades.
one person who lived it
Treat yourself with the kindness and expectations you have for others to become an example they will eventually follow.
Others will start treating you better once you set this example.
one person who lived it
Leave friendships where you feel drained of positive energy, akin to being treated as a 'blood bag' by those with mean spirits.
Some people exploit your positive energy while harboring mean spirits.
one person who lived it
Perform small, unexpected gestures of kindness, such as sending a text or buying coffee.
These little moments really count.
one person who lived it
Surround yourself with people who appreciate you as much as you appreciate them, which one person found lifted a huge weight off their shoulders.
- Based on one person's experience
one person who lived it
Measure a person's greatness by how they treat those considered 'little men'.
one person who lived it
Keep away from people who desert you and return only when others start valuing you.
They rely on others' opinions to determine your worth and may be emotionally manipulating you to flatter their ego.
one person who lived it
Develop strong social skills so that you are likely to always know someone who can help with any task.
one person who lived it
Demonstrate the desired behavior by performing those tasks for yourself.
One person reported that after seeing this modeling, they started thinking like the other person.
one person who lived it
Reframe visiting a disliked relative as an act of support for the family member who cares about them.
The caring family member is the one expecting your support; not visiting denies them that support.
one person who lived it
Use repeated, predictable exchanges about misplaced items to bias your partner toward putting things in the proper place.
Predictability helps them anticipate your response, motivating the desired behavior.
one person who lived it
Accept your friends' flaws by remembering that they accept yours despite your own imperfections.
Everyone has flaws; mutual acceptance is the basis of good friendship.
one person who lived it
View the difficult person strictly as a utility (like a cheap bus ticket) and a roommate, rather than a friend.
one person who lived it
Compliment your partner's appearance or hygiene when they make an effort.
Positive reinforcement does wonders.
one person who lived it
Conduct yourself well with others, as your behavior eventually returns to bless or haunt you.
one person who lived it
Reward yourselves with a treat if both partners complete their set goals for the week.
one person who lived it
Set a rule that allows the player who is clearly going to win to actually win, rather than forcing a close game or throwing the match.
one person who lived it
Remove toxic people from your life and consider moving to a completely new location.
one person who lived it
Accept that some friends are chronically late and adjust your expectations and timelines accordingly rather than getting angry.
being a good friend involves accepting certain truths
one person who lived it
Accept that attractive women are sometimes treated better than those perceived as unattractive due to lookism.
Sometimes it's lookism.
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Do not stay in a relationship solely out of fear of being alone; leave if you are tolerating poor treatment just to avoid solitude.
Be honest with your partner from the start about who you are.
Concealing parts of yourself will become a problem later.
- Being too open can push people away just as much as being too impersonal.
one person who lived it
Stop initiating contact and wait to see if the other person reaches out first.
This reveals how valuable the friendship is to them.
- Some people may be too shy, lazy, or forgetful to respond even if interested.
one person who lived it
Define exactly what you want in a partner before looking for them.
You cannot find what you do not know you are looking for.
one person who lived it
Approach marriage as a 100/100 effort from both partners, not a 50/50 split.
one person who lived it
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Stop stressing about people hitting on your partner because you cannot control it.
Stressing does not change the facts.
one person who lived it
Have your spouse support you when you set boundaries with the admirer.
Having a partner speak up can convey the message.
one person who lived it
If you are in a partnership, agree to read 'The Five Love Languages' every couple of years.
to keep the advice fresh and make necessary changes
one person who lived it
Provide reassurance of love through actions and small gestures, such as texts or gifts, to show you are thinking of your partner when apart.
Your partner may be worried and needs reassurance beyond just words.
one person who lived it
If you are distancing yourself due to personal growth or shame about your past, be honest about your changes.
Real friends will understand.
one person who lived it
Remember and fulfill passing mentions of items a partner likes or wishes for.
It demonstrates that you listen and truly love them.
one person who lived it
Leave small notes or drawings around the house for your partner to find.
The extra effort of a surprise note makes their day.
one person who lived it
Do not stay in a relationship solely out of fear of being alone; leave if you are tolerating poor treatment just to avoid solitude.
3 people, independently
Use a jar of Nutella as a hidden object for your partner to find instead of a toy.
The jar does not get eaten instantly.
one person who lived it
Build on your date's answers by relating them to yourself and maintaining a back-and-forth exchange.
Sharing is key to good conversation.
one person who lived it
When dating someone older, make it clear that your life goals and pace take priority; if they push you into things you are not ready for, consider it a major red flag.
A respectful older partner should honor your boundaries and not pressure you.
one person who lived it
Do not concede to your partner's request to keep the pictures.
It is considered disrespectful after two plus years into a relationship.
one person who lived it
Listen attentively to your date to demonstrate interest, even if you cannot speak much.
A date can be great because one partner was listening, even if they did not talk much due to losing their voice.
one person who lived it
Mention your history of ending relationships due to this incompatibility to send a clear message of commitment to new dates.
It sends a clear message.
- Only if true.
one person who lived it
Talk to your best friend to explicitly define the relationship if you are having sex with them.
Communication is the key.
one person who lived it
If a friend is marrying someone you believe treats them poorly, frame your continued presence as a commitment to support them in the long term rather than opposing their current choice.
Opposing the partner directly risks being cut out of the friend's life.
one person who lived it
Establish limits or allow space for both people to recover from the split before trying to be friends.
3 people, independently
Do not move your partner's personal items from where they expect to find them.
Moving items like wallets or phones can cause significant difficulty and stress.
one person who lived it
End friendships with people who betray their spouses, as disloyalty to a partner signals they may also betray you.
Disloyalty to a spouse suggests a lack of loyalty that could extend to other relationships.
one person who lived it
Accept that the friendship may not resume because people change over time and may no longer have common ground.
2 people, independently
Budget $10-20 per month to spontaneously buy small items for your significant other.
Small gestures remind partners of their importance and make them feel loved amidst life's repetition.
one person who lived it
Discuss how each partner envisions the relationship and their needs for independence versus togetherness.
This helps identify compromises and shared priorities, or reveals if you want very different things.
- One person noted that even when they curtailed activities, their partner still perceived them as very active and out of the house.
one person who lived it
Listen to your partner explain why they love their hobby to see it through their eyes.
Seeing something you never cared for with someone else's eyes can lead to genuine appreciation.
one person who lived it
Use a shared calendar or notebook as a single source of truth for important relationship logistics.
Managing a home and relationship is hard work; a system ensures reminders are digested properly rather than lost in daily noise.
- Do not expect your partner to remember personal plans that do not involve them.
one person who lived it
Listen to your partner's entire explanation of their understanding without interrupting at the point where you see they go wrong, so you can identify where you parted company.
To get the whole picture.
one person who lived it
Hold a friend accountable for unethical behavior, such as an affair with an employee, by warning them they risk losing your friendship if they do not correct it.
Power imbalances add a layer of unethicallity to the situation.
one person who lived it
When a friend is in a bad relationship, focus your concern on their well-being rather than attacking the partner to avoid triggering defensiveness.
Attacking the partner forces the friend to defend them.
one person who lived it
Avoid any interaction with a coworker that you would not feel comfortable telling your spouse about.
Such secrecy is considered cheating-adjacent.
one person who lived it
Write a long letter detailing why your partner is important to you.
one person who lived it
Use group texts that include your partner instead of private ones when communicating with your best friend.
so she doesn't wonder what you're saying
one person who lived it
Do not assume a strong friendship will lead to a romantic relationship.
Romantic potential usually exists only at the beginning before the friendship path solidifies; once on a certain path, it is hard to change.
one person who lived it
Tend to relationships on a regular basis.
Otherwise they fall apart.
one person who lived it
Use shared silence as a form of communication and connection with your partner.
Silence can feel calmer and allow partners to feel completely understood without words.
one person who lived it
Ask your partner to show you their credit reports and accounts directly; if they refuse, end the relationship.
Relationships are about honesty, and refusing transparency may indicate hidden issues.
one person who lived it
Consult all household members before acquiring a new pet, even if you intend to care for it yourself.
Making such a decision without including partners can lead to unhappiness and resentment.
one person who lived it
If you need to keep a relationship with a sibling who has a toxic partner, avoid large social gatherings and instead contact them individually via text or meet for coffee when the partner is unavailable.
This allows you to keep the relationship with your sibling alive without engaging the partner.
one person who lived it
Spend 10-15 minutes connecting with your spouse immediately upon arriving home.
This ongoing connection is priceless, regardless of whether the conversation covers work wins, family issues, or mundane daily life.
one person who lived it
Learn how your partner shows love and show appreciation through actions that fit that style, like listening without interrupting.
3 people, independently
Talk to your partner about their preferred receiving style to solve misunderstandings.
It can solve many misunderstandings.
2 people, independently
Consider counseling if you want to improve the relationship.
- It is a more expensive option in terms of time and money.
3 people, independently
Treat party acquaintances differently from real friends, recognizing they rarely offer true loyalty.
Party or club 'friends' rarely are real friends.
one person who lived it
For safety, do not trust people immediately and withhold full disclosure until they have earned it.
Safety perspective.
one person who lived it
Remove yourself from friend groups or communities that echo disrespectful beliefs about using relationships as bragging rights.
To find a fresh perspective.
one person who lived it
Use an antenuptial contract to protect yourself.
It is fully acceptable these days and can reveal irreconcilable issues around money.
one person who lived it
Stop reaching out to people you no longer like talking to, allowing the friendship to fade.
3 people, independently
Use breaks between dates to test your interest; if you lose interest while apart, consider it a sign of incompatibility.
Constant contact makes long-term thinking easy, whereas breaks provide necessary contrast that reveals true desire.
one person who lived it
Imagine how you would feel if your partner were teaching you a subject where they are naturally better than you, night after night, until it leads to fights, to build empathy for their struggle.
one person who lived it
Tell potential partners you do not want children immediately and straightforwardly before dating begins.
It prevents them from being misguided about your intentions.
one person who lived it
Question the assumption that having sex with someone you aren't dating makes you incapable of change.
one person who lived it
If a partner complains about a cleaning routine that benefits everyone but they do not recognize the benefit, stop doing it occasionally to let them experience the negative consequence of returning to a mess.
Experiencing the shock of a messy return and having to spend time cleaning instead of relaxing makes the partner appreciate the pre-trip cleaning.
one person who lived it
Maintain open lines of communication and avoid being hostile, even if the relationship is strained.
Natural bonding often comes as both parties mature and keep avenues open.
one person who lived it
Be skeptical of blanket relationship advice, as individual factors make every situation different.
There are millions of factors that make each person's life and relationship unique, so general tips rarely apply to all situations.
one person who lived it
Ask potential partners directly what exactly they are obsessing over to distinguish between genuine interest and projection of an idealized fantasy.
Asking this question allows you to spot the difference between the two states.
one person who lived it
Decide if you want your partner to become your best friend, as keeping the current dynamic requires setting strong boundaries and sometimes saying no to the friend.
one person who lived it
Listen and observe your partner to learn their preferences, likes, feelings, stress responses, and relaxation methods.
This is as important as being open, upfront, communicating, and compromising.
one person who lived it
Communicate gift expectations with your partner before holidays to prevent feelings of being undervalued.
Planning ahead ensures neither partner feels like an afterthought.
one person who lived it
Avoid giving unsolicited advice on other people's relationships, recognizing that what works in your house may differ.
Unsolicited advice usually isn't helpful advice.
one person who lived it
Maintain clear, honest communication and periodically check in to ensure both parties remain aligned on expectations.
This increases the likelihood of the arrangement working out well.
one person who lived it
Compliment your partner on aspects of their life outside of programming.
one person who lived it
Imagine and prepare to operate independently as if your partner were not there, viewing them as a supplement to your life rather than its completion.
one person who lived it
Recognize that ghosting interested friends out of fear of disappointing them is a barrier to connection.
one person who lived it
Recognize that feeling loved and supported is a valid standard for a relationship, distinct from toxic familiarity.
one person who lived it
If a partner becomes guilt-tripping, manipulative, controlling, or obsessive immediately after you show hesitation about the relationship's pace, recognize this sudden shift as a sign of a toxic dynamic.
one person who lived it
Negotiate compromises based on specific contexts where smoking is important to each partner.
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Consider sleeping in separate bedrooms if one partner's habits, such as snoring or different schedules, disrupt the other's sleep.
Meditate for 5-10 minutes and have a happy thought before going to places with your partner's friends.
To relieve stress.
one person who lived it
Set a specific schedule for uninterrupted alone time, such as designated nights of the week.
Knowing ahead of time may help your partner handle the situation better.
one person who lived it
Consider sleeping in separate bedrooms if one partner's habits, such as snoring or different schedules, disrupt the other's sleep.
It eliminates conflicts over covers, temperature, and noise, leading to better rest and less exhaustion.
- Some worry about what friends and family will think, though reports indicate nobody cares.
3 people, independently
Stay in a fancy hotel room high up in a building with a city view for a different experience.
It just hits different.
one person who lived it
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Divide cleaning tasks by room or area to avoid traffic jams and interference.
It allows you to work without being up each other's butts.
one person who lived it
Show your friend how to use their free time on activities they enjoy, such as playing new games, so they do not obsess over the lost relationship.
One person reported that suggesting a new game helped their friend focus attention elsewhere.
one person who lived it
Be aware that moving in with friends can create an unfair power dynamic if one friend brings a significant other into the living arrangement.
The presence of a significant other often results in a two-against-one situation during disagreements, leaving the single person feeling like a third wheel.
one person who lived it
Address the need for alone time directly rather than using passive methods like staying up late to get time by yourself.
One person reported that a passive approach of staying up late to gain alone time eventually caused anger when bedtimes no longer matched.
one person who lived it
Provide a 'turn down service' by fluffing pillows and folding down sheets so your partner can slip into bed easily.
It makes the recipient smile and feel loved.
one person who lived it
Plan dates around shared activities like movies, mini golf, or museums to reduce the pressure of continuous conversation.
Activities provide a focus when conversation topics run out, making it easier to spend time together if talking is difficult.
3 people, independently
Use high-quality noise-canceling headphones, earplugs, or a white noise machine/fan to block out roommate noise.
3 people, independently
Decide beforehand how rent and utilities will be split if one roommate has a partner sleep over frequently.
Planning ahead avoids friction.
one person who lived it
Test compatibility by living together for several months to see if you can peacefully and happily handle mundane tasks, errands, and housekeeping.
This is described as the true test of compatibility.
one person who lived it
Offer to attend social events alone on behalf of the couple if your partner is anxious or unwilling to go.
Introverts are often happy with this solution.
one person who lived it
Join clubs and schedule regular times to exercise with a partner.
Moving together helps get motivated.
one person who lived it
If you are looking for a roommate, consider choosing someone with different social circles and interests to cut down on relationship strain.
Having different interests helps roommates stay out of each other's lives.
one person who lived it
Play board games like Gloomhaven or video games like Mario Kart to help with calm, friendly interactions among friends.
These games help keep interactions friendly and can encourage friends to stay over.
one person who lived it
Recognize that a partner spreading across the bed alone is likely instinctual behavior to get the most from comfort and temperature regulation, rather than intentional sabotage.
When alone, there is no physical obstacle or heat source to avoid, so the boundary against commandeering space is not triggered.
one person who lived it
Act natural and make normal noise levels rather than trying to be stealthily quiet.
Unusual silence, slow movements, or careful stepping put more pressure on specific points causing creaking, which is more suspicious and likely to wake others than normal activity.
one person who lived it
When moving in together, store most of your existing belongings separately and treat the new space as a shared project to avoid feelings of territorial invasion.
It helps partners feel like they are building something together rather than one person invading the other's space.
one person who lived it
Try playing board games if you find high-energy social outings taxing; one person found this less socially demanding.
- based on one person's experience
one person who lived it
Discuss plans for a non-sexual sleepover when both parties are relaxed and awake, rather than at the end of a tiring evening.
It is difficult to phrase such sensitive topics correctly when tired; preparation helps avoid misinterpretation.
one person who lived it
If your partner has learning differences like dyslexia or dyscalculia, choose games that are story-based, art-focused, or dexterity-based to avoid heavy text or math requirements.
This allows the partner to participate without being disadvantaged by reading or math tasks, and enables cooperative play where one person can handle the reading.
one person who lived it
Invite her to watch a specific movie you both discussed at your hotel room.
one person who lived it
Swap bed sides to accommodate a partner's injury or discomfort.
one person who lived it
money, pay, back, financial16
Only lend money that you are comfortable losing entirely, as you should not expect it back.
Pay the requested amount to preserve the friendship, but explicitly state that you do not believe you owe it and that money should not come between friends.
To value the friendship and acknowledge they will be leaving soon.
one person who lived it
Give money rather than lending it, framing it as a gift.
This reduces the stress of having to pay the lender back.
one person who lived it
Do not feel guilty for actions committed in dreams, especially if you stayed up late, ate too much, or were sick.
Acting out of character in dreams under these physical conditions is normal.
one person who lived it
Ensure the jar only covers a fraction of the bill so friends still contribute some money.
Everyone likes to contribute.
one person who lived it
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If the person does not confess after your initial approach, involve both them and the buyer to jointly investigate where the money went.
This forces them to confirm receipt or helps reveal the money's true location.
one person who lived it
Ask the friend directly whether they need the money or feel entitled to it before responding to a payment request.
The request may stem from financial panic or a feeling that the relationship was one-sided.
one person who lived it
Send a trusted friend a screenshot of your date's profile, their name, the location, and the time you will text back to confirm you are safe.
one person who lived it
Only lend money that you are comfortable losing entirely, as you should not expect it back.
5 people, independently
Compare the situation to taking a free sample at a store only to be charged later to illustrate the unfairness of retroactive billing.
There was no indication it wasn't free until after walking away.
one person who lived it
Maintain basic financial literacy, including knowing where money comes from and how to pay bills, to remain a functional adult.
Relying entirely on a partner for finances infantilizes the person who does not handle the money.
one person who lived it
Log in to your child's free email account periodically to prevent the service provider from deleting the mailbox due to inactivity.
Free services like Gmail may delete mailboxes for inactivity even if they are receiving mail.
one person who lived it
If you fall out with a friend after lending them money, do not expect repayment unless they choose to pay it back.
one person who lived it
Check your mailbox regularly.
To ensure important letters are not being intercepted or stolen.
one person who lived it
Consider that bank errors are possible causes for missing funds rather than assuming theft immediately.
One person experienced a direct deposit going to a stranger due to a single mistyped digit.
one person who lived it
Recognize that friends who consistently ignore your budget constraints and leave you behind are bad friends, as decent people find workarounds or offer to pay occasionally.
one person who lived it
One person learned to keep financial advice to themselves after losing friends and alienating colleagues.
one person who lived it
women, social, dating, person38
Step back from romantic relationships and focus on your relationship with yourself.
Do not lower your standards or settle for the wrong person just to avoid being single.
Choosing the first available partner who seems willing is an excellent method for becoming miserable.
3 people, independently
Be authentic to yourself and lean into hobbies that bring satisfaction.
People will gravitate towards you if it's right.
- Stick with virtual interactions for now.
one person who lived it
Build a full life by yourself so that dating becomes an addition rather than a necessity.
It sucks when you want to date but can't find anyone who wants that too.
one person who lived it
Respect women; if you are straight, respecting your female peers can make you more attractive.
it makes you more attractive
- if you’re straight
one person who lived it
34 more on this
If you struggle to connect with others, search for groups like queer or neurodivergent communities where you may share a similar wavelength.
One person found they get along better with these specific groups.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Pick up a hobby such as hiking, fishing, rock climbing, yoga, or playing games to meet people.
You will eventually meet someone cool if you go enough.
one person who lived it
Exhibit your shortcomings and pains to make others feel more comfortable around you, as vulnerability removes the pressure of seeming perfect.
It creates a new comprehension of how to live and connect.
- One person's new understanding of life.
one person who lived it
Focus on living your life, developing passions, and expanding your social circle rather than actively searching for a partner.
You may find the right person while doing this.
one person who lived it
When approaching a gay man in public, look for eye contact or a look-back as a signal of interest before making a move.
Straight men typically do not look at each other.
one person who lived it
Seek therapy or counseling, such as sex therapy or CBT, to address psychological factors like performance anxiety or relationship stress.
Several people reported that therapy helped them overcome their issues and improve their health.
- Money may be tight for some.
4 people, independently
Wait for a new crush to emerge, which may make the previous one feel boring.
A new interest can reduce focus on the old crush to zero.
one person who lived it
Step back from romantic relationships and focus on your relationship with yourself.
- One approach that helped involved staying away from relationships for a few years.
6 people, independently
Move your body more to help fight limerence and obsessive thoughts.
One person reported this helped them fight their limerence.
one person who lived it
Do not make dating your priority; maintain other interests in your life.
Women appreciate when you have other things going on besides them.
one person who lived it
Be aware that adopting a mindset of moving on to be admired rather than loved can lead to emotional coldness and avoidance of vulnerability.
One person reported that while this approach brought success, it caused them to respond to hurt with withdrawal.
- This outcome was experienced by one individual; it is not guaranteed for everyone.
one person who lived it
Recognize that when women take the first step in showing attraction, it helps men who feel pressure to avoid appearing aggressive or like creeps.
It alleviates the pressure on men to always initiate.
one person who lived it
If you are awkward in conversations, embrace it as part of who you are rather than pretending to be social.
There are women who dislike being social and may appreciate authenticity over performance.
one person who lived it
Only pursue connections where there is enthusiastic mutual interest; let go of those who are unsure.
It is not your role to force someone into an enthusiastic response by overinvesting.
one person who lived it
Read the book 'Models' by Mark Manson to learn how to improve relationships with women through self-improvement.
The book explains how improving yourself improves relationships with women.
one person who lived it
Avoid wearing sunglasses in dating profile photos.
Sunglasses can convey obnoxious coyness and act as a quick turnoff.
one person who lived it
Treat your date as an individual rather than relying on generalized stereotypes about gender communication styles.
Assuming you know how 'men' or 'women' generally behave is less effective than treating the specific person in front of you as an individual.
2 people, independently
Cut off people who give you weird vibes; accepting a smaller circle can lead to more genuine friendships.
one person who lived it
Read the book 'Attached' to improve relationship dynamics.
One person reported it changed everything after their therapist recommended it.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
If a first sexual experience was disappointing, treat it as a learning opportunity to identify what you do not want in future encounters.
Reflecting on how it made you feel helps you understand your preferences, such as disliking casual sex.
one person who lived it
Pursue hobbies to have substantive topics to discuss instead of relying on small talk.
Hobbies provide material for conversation beyond small talk.
one person who lived it
Trust actions over words when evaluating a dating match's interest.
Actions such as repeatedly rescheduling or hiding social media indicate they have better things to do.
one person who lived it
Join environments like CrossFit where people are generally focused on self-improvement.
People in these spaces are generally less broken.
one person who lived it
Interact with potential partners more casually and frequently to stop viewing them as enchanted creatures and see them as humans.
Frequent interaction prevents putting them on a pedestal like a majestic being.
one person who lived it
Host parties and events to build a social circle, accepting that it requires significant effort.
Social life does not happen automatically in one's thirties; taking initiative makes one central to the group.
one person who lived it
Find male connections through shared-focus activities like board game nights or hiking groups.
Connection happens naturally with less pressure to perform masculinity.
one person who lived it
Stop comparing your life to the romanticized portrayals of relationships on social media.
Social media displays only a fraction of reality and fails to show the hardship involved in relationships.
one person who lived it
Seek friendships that offer genuine connection and acceptance of who you are.
5 people, independently
Recognize that women value how you carry yourself, your dominance in social situations, and your confidence alongside physical attractiveness.
Girls take into account many things other than just physical appearance.
one person who lived it
Cultivate independence and self-containment rather than neediness.
Self-assured people with a passion for something are considered more attractive.
one person who lived it
Use dating apps to remind yourself that there are many potential partners and none are uniquely special, which helps stop viewing individual interactions as magical.
It reduces the tendency to reflexively trick yourself into thinking a specific person is a perfect soulmate.
one person who lived it
Keep your attention on your date instead of looking at a laptop, book, or phone, as diverting attention prevents necessary communication.
Putting attention elsewhere deprives the date of expected attention and blocks getting acquainted.
one person who lived it
Reframe being single as having high standards and wanting only a genuinely good fit, rather than viewing it as undesirability.
one person who lived it
Ensure autism does not define your entire identity; present yourself as undefinable and honest.
one person who lived it
date, avoid, meal, invitation42
Avoid preparing spicy food like jalapenos for dinner on Valentine's Day, or wear gloves if you do.
Suggest to shy friends that they can earn the tip if they accept the free meal.
This may put some friends more at ease, though it will not help in all cases.
- This approach may not work for everyone.
one person who lived it
If you must cancel a date due to discomfort, be honest rather than lying about being sick.
To set a precedent of authenticity and avoid lying.
- The source frames this as a 'revolution for women everywhere,' implying it is a counter-cultural or difficult stance.
one person who lived it
Avoid giving roses on a first date.
They are highly romantic and might feel weird or too intense; a single rose may be acceptable.
- A single rose might be okay.
one person who lived it
Avoid paying for a first meal if you want to keep things casual, as it can shift the tone from a friendly hangout to a date.
Paying can change the tone from 'casual lunch' to being 'a date' and might freak the other person out.
one person who lived it
37 more on this
Tell an old friend you are busy with specific matters and suggest messaging in a couple of weeks.
They likely will not message back.
one person who lived it
If someone says 'I don't know' or 'I'll let you know,' accept it as a polite refusal and stop pressing for a plan.
These phrases usually mean they have no interest.
one person who lived it
Plan specific activities for friends rather than hinting that you want to hang out.
It takes the burden off of them.
one person who lived it
Invite friends to specific low-cost activities you host, such as walks, picnics, or home movie nights.
This allows you to choose something free.
one person who lived it
If you know the local culture well, use tactful euphemisms.
It allows the other person to reject you without causing you to lose face.
one person who lived it
Use your fingertips to apply gentle pressure when touching someone, rather than resting your whole hand on them.
This technique can make the other person feel wanted and desired.
- Be very gentle when touching sensitive areas like cheeks.
one person who lived it
Explicitly state your own expensive order first, then tell guests to get whatever they want.
This allays concerns that you might overspend the host, which can feel awkward.
one person who lived it
- Frame the invitation as asking friends to help you eat a large shared item, like a sushi boat, rather than offering them a meal.1
Give a friend two chances to keep a plan assuming valid emergencies, but end the friendship if they flake a third time.
A third cancellation indicates a lack of interest despite any prior plausible excuses.
one person who lived it
Consider meeting problematic guests outside your home on more even grounds if they consistently violate your house rules.
These people may not be suitable as guests in your home.
one person who lived it
Ask the person to propose a time they are available, acknowledging their busy schedule.
If they are interested, they will eventually reach out; if not, you get your answer.
one person who lived it
Consider cultural contexts where repeated refusal or insistence is part of etiquette, such as gift-giving customs in China.
In some cultures, accepting immediately is considered greedy.
- Specific to contexts like China where refusing 2 or 3 times is expected.
one person who lived it
Ask explicitly for consent to have sex or cuddle instead of relying on implicit cues.
Explicit consent is sexy.
one person who lived it
Ask directly if the other person agrees to a specific amount of time before finalizing plans.
This allows them to agree to the commitment ahead of time.
one person who lived it
Compliment aspects of the meal during dinner.
It is expected in the US.
one person who lived it
If you are already friends, offer the activity as an option that can be either a date or a friendly hangout.
This reduces pressure while clarifying your interest.
one person who lived it
Avoid using excuses like 'it's not the right time' or 'I'm getting over someone' when rejecting a romantic advance.
The mind is hopeful and may interpret these phrases as meaning feelings could change if they wait.
one person who lived it
When supporting someone, offer specific items like food or drinks rather than asking if they need help, and use humor to make acceptance easier.
People are less likely to refuse a direct offer of goods than a general offer of assistance.
one person who lived it
When asking someone to return, clearly state that you respect their decision and will accept a 'no' without pressure.
People appreciate this approach because it shows you are genuinely asking for consent rather than subtly pushing them.
one person who lived it
Frame the invitation to continue the evening by expressing that you wish the conversation didn't have to end, rather than implying sex.
Referencing coffee is unwise as it directly implies sex.
one person who lived it
Recognize that long-time close friends may use joking insults because respect and formality are linked to social distance.
Respect and formality are directly linked to social distance; it isn't weird that people are more disrespectful with long-time close friends.
one person who lived it
Politely refuse small requests like storing items or giving rides without feeling guilty to see how the person reacts when they don't get their way.
Observing their reaction reveals if they attempt manipulation or become angry when shut down.
one person who lived it
Maintain composure if a date ends abruptly; do not sulk, throw a tantrum, or demand financial reimbursement for the evening.
Some people view an invitation as an investment that gives them rights, leading to these behaviors.
one person who lived it
Choose cheap venues like coffee shops or Mexican food for first dates instead of expensive places like sushi restaurants.
To avoid wasting money and time if there is no chemistry.
one person who lived it
Do not rely on context clues like being alone or doing a new activity to signal a date.
Many people interpret these situations as friendly hangouts rather than dates.
one person who lived it
If you are in a culture where 'dear friend' is an honorable but non-romantic status, use that label to reject a romantic proposal.
It honors the relationship while clearly distinguishing it from a romantic partnership.
one person who lived it
Use a casual, open-ended phrase like 'Is it that time already?' to acknowledge departure without pressuring the friend.
It prevents them from feeling pressured to stay or fabricate excuses.
one person who lived it
Do not assume that consent to enter the hotel room implies consent for sex; ask for clear consent again once inside if things head in that direction.
one person who lived it
Set a specific deadline for attendance confirmation to allow the other person to decline without rudeness.
It prevents hard feelings if they do not answer and avoids making them feel pressured or uncomfortable.
one person who lived it
If a friend is pressuring you to attend an event to secure a group discount, suggest they invite someone else or poll other members instead of attending yourself.
This solves their problem of needing the discount without requiring your presence.
one person who lived it
Recognize that cultural backgrounds influence expectations for how long meals or coffee breaks should last.
Many cultures view these times as opportunities for companionship lasting many hours.
one person who lived it
Reflect on how often you have declined invitations in the past if you feel excluded from current plans.
one person who lived it
Reject friends who insist on imposing their tastes and activities on you without your consent.
Forcing tastes on others violates personal boundaries.
one person who lived it
Host gatherings at your home where you cover the main food cost but ask everyone to contribute to the bill or bring sides and desserts.
one person who lived it
Accept that frequently declining invitations may lead to receiving fewer future invites.
It often stings the inviter when you decline.
one person who lived it
Avoid preparing spicy food like jalapenos for dinner on Valentine's Day, or wear gloves if you do.
Handling spicy ingredients can cause discomfort or burns during intimacy.
2 people, independently
Recognize that intrusive questions about family are often innocent attempts to make conversation and avoid uncomfortable silences, particularly in British and Irish culture.
In Britain and Ireland, these are normal conversational questions initially used to avoid uncomfortable silences.
one person who lived it
Be a gentleman and respect bodily autonomy after she arrives; do not take liberties just because she accepted the tea invitation.
one person who lived it
problem, help, immediately, change25
Reframe the cost of items taken by the difficult person as payment for the services they provide, such as transportation savings.
Think of it as a business transaction.
one person who lived it
Do not get married too young, as it can ruin the college experience.
It ruins the college experience.
one person who lived it
If you are not ready to forgive, do not try to force it.
It does not help anything.
one person who lived it
Lead by example to change situations and people positively, but do not become mad if you fail.
Changing things is a hard task.
one person who lived it
21 more on this
Do not give up easily; recognize that even small changes are a start.
it's still the start of change
one person who lived it
Do not help with homework during the session; wait until the next lesson to revise and correct their work.
This encourages them to try harder on their own.
one person who lived it
Do not let guilt pressure you into a decision you are not emotionally prepared for.
It is your life too.
one person who lived it
Do not show immediate concern upon hearing of a problem and then fail to check back in later.
It is frustrating when people never ask or check back in after the initial reaction.
one person who lived it
Have your partner repeat basic exercises like iterating through loops or lists for a week if needed to solidify the concepts in their head.
Repetition helps make basic concepts solid in the learner's head.
one person who lived it
Work part-time or arrange staggered work schedules with a partner to cover childcare costs while earning income.
This approach can eliminate the need for handouts.
one person who lived it
Frame the issue as the boys taking advantage of the current dynamic and ask your mother for help correcting it, enlisting her in the solution.
It helps to enlist the person involved in solving the problem.
one person who lived it
Avoid leaving passive-aggressive notes about mess.
It never works; messy people may interpret it as acceptance of that level of mess.
one person who lived it
Stop blaming yourself for a neighbor's negative reactions and focus on protecting your son instead.
The neighbor may not understand kindness and their nastiness is not your problem.
one person who lived it
Propose putting inheritance money into a trust until reaching a more mature age as a compromise.
That's quite common.
one person who lived it
Stop teaching immediately if your partner appears frustrated, before the frustration peaks, and change the topic or activity.
Frustrated people learn poorly.
one person who lived it
Address financial issues bluntly and immediately to prevent long-term resentment.
Waiting can cause real problems later or lead to long-term resentment.
one person who lived it
Deliberately leave the house during times when your siblings are likely to cause chaos, using excuses like having friends over or going out, so that the consequences of their behavior fall on them rather than you.
Letting the 'chickens come home to roost' where they should ensures the consequences land on the people responsible.
one person who lived it
Enforce child support through state agencies using wage garnishment, tax refund interception, and liens on personal property.
Unpaid debts will eventually catch up to the non-custodial parent.
one person who lived it
If you are a professional whose rates exceed the value of simple tasks, explain that your fees make economic exchange unviable and that you rely on colleagues for such help.
Your professional rates are too high for mundane tasks, so applying economic measures to the interaction is not possible.
one person who lived it
When a student swears, immediately say a polite substitute word like 'shoot' instead of punishing them.
It shows relatability and often makes the student smile.
one person who lived it
Recognize that constantly refusing to do anything other than one specific low-cost option weakens relationships by appearing selfish rather than frugal.
It reads as inconsiderate rather than just saving money.
one person who lived it
Propose concrete actions using what is currently available and adjust as you go, instead of waiting for everyone's availability and total clarity.
Waiting for the perfect moment where everything is clear and frictionless often results in nothing happening or delays lasting weeks.
one person who lived it
Avoid being condescending when engaging with someone's ideas.
Condescension has disastrous effects.
one person who lived it
Shift from 'helping' to 'ownership' of specific chores, meaning the owner notices when supplies are low or tasks are due without reminders.
one person who lived it
Perform chores as an equal partner's responsibility rather than framing it as 'helping' your spouse.
one person who lived it
respond, explain, makes, state40
State explicitly that the behavior is making you uncomfortable and why it must stop.
Do not make fun of or comment on how someone smiles or laughs.
It makes them self-conscious and may cause you to never see or hear it again.
one person who lived it
Gift her the right book that changed your life and explain that you lacked the heart to correct her earlier due to being touched by her gestures.
It is important that she reads the right author to know the 'real' you.
one person who lived it
Do not assume a friend saying 'I love you' is weird, especially if you lack that experience at home.
One person found hearing 'I love you' from a friend strange only because their father never said it.
one person who lived it
Stop responding entirely to someone who is not respecting your 'no', treating their messages like trash thrown over a fence that should not be thrown back.
Continuing to respond gives them a reaction.
one person who lived it
36 more on this
If you want to stop intrusive family questions, give a strong answer that makes it clear you do not wish to discuss the topic.
A strong response should stop follow-up questions.
one person who lived it
State that you prefer your current location to preempt questions about whether you like it there.
Pre-empts 'Do you like it here?'
2 people, independently
Use the person's current pronouns when discussing their past as a default approach if you do not know their specific wishes.
It is common and usually appreciated; most transgender people prefer this.
- Some argue that using the pronoun corresponding to the gender assigned at birth for past events is correct.
one person who lived it
Ask how the new hair makes them feel, as the question may be seeking validation about their self-image rather than just the hair.
The question may be about themselves rather than just the hair.
one person who lived it
Ask clarifying questions to help your partner explain their point better, making it clear you want to understand rather than refute.
It helps them feel better and explains their point more clearly.
one person who lived it
Ensure your spouse supports your stance before confronting in-laws so they do not undermine your message by apologizing or reacting sheepishly.
Nothing you do will make a difference if he does not support you, and his reaction would undercut your message.
one person who lived it
Reframe being called 'quiet' as a neutral or positive trait rather than an insult.
Being silent and knowledgeable is better than being loud with ignorance.
one person who lived it
Do not get offended if someone implies you raised yourself, as it is intended as a compliment.
It is a compliment.
one person who lived it
If you are just friends and she has not directly asked for your opinion, do not comment on the haircut at all.
It isn't necessary.
one person who lived it
Ask out someone you have a crush on to eliminate lingering regret and the burden of wondering 'what if'.
You will likely regret not doing it; acting removes the need to wonder about the outcome.
2 people, independently
Do not lie about liking the haircut.
She will likely detect the deception, which makes the situation feel worse than it actually is.
one person who lived it
Refuse to engage in negativity or complaining about others, even if it causes such groups to cut ties with you.
Some groups feed off negativity and may not appreciate refusal to participate.
- May lead to being cut loose by groups that rely on bitching.
one person who lived it
Tease your partner about their reaction to your boundaries only if it makes them light up; stop immediately if it does not.
If the teasing does not make them light up, it is mean rather than playful.
one person who lived it
Explain that repetitive questioning after a 'no' feels disrespectful and hurts feelings.
It signals a lack of care.
one person who lived it
Keep a journal to record events so you can verify the truth when someone tries to gaslight you.
Having a record helps realize the extent, frequency, and severity of what is happening and validates your own thoughts.
one person who lived it
Explicitly tell friends and family that you dislike the jokes; pretending to enjoy them makes you appear like a willing participant.
They cannot fix a problem they do not know exists.
one person who lived it
Respond to age-related teasing on dating apps with semi-playful banter instead of getting defensive or being rude.
Rolling with the banter might help you learn to relax and get a date.
one person who lived it
Apologize for lying by omission and explain that you stayed silent because you appreciated the gesture and assumed her interest would be fleeting.
Waiting this long is a problem and she is probably going to be upset.
one person who lived it
Use the Socratic method to ask questions that lead the friend to justify their demand, exposing flaws in their logic.
This approach causes them to essentially destroy their own justification.
one person who lived it
If a wealthy relative brags, respond with exaggerated compliments about their achievements and humble remarks about your own to make them self-conscious about flaunting wealth.
The goal is to layer on sarcasm and paternalism so they become self-conscious and stop flaunting their wealth.
one person who lived it
Tell your male partner he is sexy or pretty.
Men receive very little external validation regarding their appearance, so this means something.
one person who lived it
Tell senders you dislike standard cute memes but would appreciate darker or more specific types of humor instead.
If they send something you enjoy, you are unlikely to find it irritating.
one person who lived it
Adopt a mindset of supporting your friend's growth rather than wishing they hadn't changed.
one person who lived it
When seeking advice from an older relative who tends to dictate decisions, ask them specifically to identify pros and cons you may have missed rather than asking what they think you should do.
One person found this approach helped them make their own decisions while avoiding hurting their father's feelings, as he was previously hurt if his direct advice was ignored.
one person who lived it
State explicitly that the behavior is making you uncomfortable and why it must stop.
3 people, independently
If asked about children's names, respond with 'My name, of course' while maintaining a slightly confused look to imply the question is nonsensical.
This default answer tends to throw people who are questioning your choice.
one person who lived it
Frame the correction by agreeing with her characterization of the books as new literature rather than pointing out a blatant mistake, to soften the blow.
might soften the blow
one person who lived it
If you are dealing with a gaslighter, offer flat forgiveness without addressing their accusations.
This avoids engaging with traps and landmines laid out in the accusations.
one person who lived it
When a friend says 'anything' in response to where to go, immediately declare a specific destination; if they complain, state that next time they must pick a place they like, and proceed to the chosen spot anyway.
This counters the dynamic where the friend passively reserves the right to veto choices while avoiding the responsibility of selecting one.
one person who lived it
Blame the lack of flavor on your specific serving to give the cook plausible deniability.
It provides plausible deniability for the cook.
one person who lived it
Clarify that you are on their side and prioritizing safety rather than enforcing arbitrary rules.
This approach gets across better when they cannot understand rule enforcement.
one person who lived it
Briefly acknowledge the other person's point with 'True' or 'Good Point' and then refuse to respond further to end the topic.
You indicate you are not interested in a discussion while avoiding indicating you were wrong, allowing you to return to the discussion later without losing face.
one person who lived it
Explicitly state that you deeply appreciate the effort and love behind the book-buying gestures.
Emphasizing appreciation of the gesture helps ease potential embarrassment.
one person who lived it
If dealing with self-centered people who view themselves as superior, deliver a blunt refusal with energetic force rather than offering excuses.
Excuses are ineffective against people with big egos who see themselves as superior.
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Clarify the meaning of ambiguous phrases like 'keep it' with friends in future conversations to prevent miscommunication about ownership.
to prevent similar miscommunications from happening again
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Compare the dish to your personal preference to explain why it doesn't suit you, rather than criticizing the food itself.
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Cut your nails five days before Valentine's Day if you intend to be intimate.
This lets sharp edges soften and stops overgrowth; your partner will enjoy the smoothness.
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Use small emery boards combined with a buffing sponge to smooth nails.
Some find this method works much better than other options.
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Use a glass or crystal nail file to smooth out nail edges.
It avoids uncomfortable sounds or vibrations and is satisfying to use.
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Scrub yourself with a dry towel after showering to remove dead skin cells that soap missed.
This helps reduce flaking skin on heels, ankles, and elbows.
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Rub your freshly cut nails against blue jeans to smooth them if you dislike traditional files.
It surprisingly helps remove rough edges, though it may not be super effective.
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Explain that while you do not want to pay all rent, you are willing to act as a financial buffer for a short time because you are in a supportive relationship.
It is fair and understandable that you do not want to pay everything, but being a buffer fits a supportive dynamic.
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Be aware that financial disparities in shared living arrangements can negatively alter friendship dynamics.
One person reported that a roommate attempting to change dynamics based on paying more rent led to them not speaking for months.
- This is based on one specific anecdote about a roommate situation.
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Show a partner the specific housing options affordable in less desirable neighborhoods to demonstrate market reality.
Seeing that the lifestyle is not worth it may make them come around.
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Walk through a maze at a fair or farm-like event as a low-cost way to spend time chatting together.
It avoids the high cost of traditional haunted houses while providing an easy setting for conversation.
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Consider moving into one larger apartment with extra rooms instead of maintaining two separate units.
It may help with newly-formed trust issues.
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Explore alternative housing options such as roommates or comparing mortgage costs to trailer expenses to find more affordable stability.
Land rents are going up and there is no equity build in trailers.
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Take small aspects of what your date said and ask follow-up questions about them to encourage them to talk more.
This conveys interest and causes the other person to talk more.
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If you feel yourself getting angry or overheated, say out loud that you are angry or upset to help de-escalate the situation.
It helps calm you down and de-escalate the frustration.
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Label gifts clearly when wrapping multiple items.
To avoid mix-ups, such as labeling gifts with the wrong recipients.
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Explain why you need an immediate answer to create a sense of urgency.
Otherwise, the other person might forget to respond.
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Use enthusiastic, slightly exaggerated praise, such as comparing the look to a celebrity or using emphatic punctuation, to signal they are pulling it off.
This approach is not really lying and does not dodge the real question.
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Do not respond to statements that are not questions, using silence to make the critic uncomfortable.
Silence makes people uncomfortable.
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Maintain eye contact and nod while listening silently to signal that you understand what is being said.
Nodding indicates understanding in that context.
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Use exclamation points in text messages to convey excitement and enthusiasm.
A simple exclamation point shows more excitement than not using one.
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Use appropriate reaction GIFs to show agreement and add variety to your responses.
They prevent responses from feeling repetitive or robotic.
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When apologizing for a text that seemed cold, apologize for communicating poorly and sending a message reasonably interpreted as rude, rather than for being angry.
The recipient's anger was an assumption based on the communication style.
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Offer to babysit on occasion for parent friends so they have free time to destress and you can socialize before and after childminding.
You'll get to know their kid better.
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Continue inviting fathers to activities like video game sessions or shows.
Dads need breaks from parenting, though they may rarely show up unless family-friendly options are available.
- Invited dads may never show up unless it is a holiday dinner where the whole family can attend.
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If interacting with a competitive parent who views other children as competition rather than peers, recognize this perspective colors their reactions.
They see activities like sports or music as part of 'the industry' and view children as competitors.
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Host playdates at locations like a Salvation Army where parents can shop while children play in designated areas.
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Consider not having kids acceptable and responsible if you are not financially or emotionally ready.
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