Moving on
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Allow yourself to feel every emotion and have bad days rather than suppressing feelings.
You need to allow yourself to feel the pain to heal; burying feelings prevents this.
3 people, independently
Validate yourself and build your self-worth independently of other people's opinions.
Waiting for others to build you up leaves you at their mercy; happiness does not come from someone else.
3 people, independently
Stop fighting to be where you are not wanted.
Allowing emotions to drive this effort wastes your life on something that isn't real.
one person who lived it
Maintain strict no-contact with an ex for at least six months by deleting messages, pictures, and blocking social media to allow space to heal.
To allow both parties space to heal.
one person who lived it
- Cut off contact on every platform, ask mutual friends not to discuss the ex, and block their phone number and email.1
Balance building your own life with getting out to meet new people to increase the chance of attracting a partner.
To increase the chance you will attract a new partner.
one person who lived it
Take up new hobbies, activities, or social connections to distract yourself and fill the void.
Distraction helps you become accustomed to being without them over time.
5 people, independently
Stop pursuing someone who does not want to be with you; seek a partner where the relationship is mutual.
Chasing someone is miserable, whereas being with the right person eliminates the need to chase.
one person who lived it
Avoid seeing the person you are trying to get over by changing your routine or studying alone.
Distance helps in the process of getting over them.
one person who lived it
Accept the present situation and concentrate on what lies ahead rather than what has passed.
3 people, independently
- Direct your energy toward what is ahead and release the past.5
16 more on this
Imagine the advice you would give your son in the same situation and follow that advice yourself.
One person found this brings immediate clarity and determination.
- Based on one person's experience
one person who lived it
Do what you like at night, such as playing video games, reading books, or watching shows and movies.
It helps avoid wasting time being upset.
one person who lived it
Replace your attachment to an old love by falling in love with something new, such as a person, a hobby, a pet, or yourself.
Replacing feelings of affection with new experiences helps you get over the old attachment.
2 people, independently
Journal when you feel the urge to reach out to an ex to process feelings without ruminating.
It helps process feelings without ruminating.
one person who lived it
Research the concept of limerence to see if it explains your obsessive feelings.
7 people, independently
Avoid entering a rebound relationship.
They are unfair to the new partner and cause significant hurt to multiple people.
one person who lived it
Go on casual dates to meet people and boost your confidence, without aiming for a serious relationship immediately.
It helps with confidence and meeting people.
one person who lived it
Listen to other people's experiences and engage in your community to realize you are not alone.
To realize you're not alone in being done dirty.
one person who lived it
Accept that moving on takes a long time and varies by individual; do not rush the process.
Everyone experiences events differently and is impacted for different amounts of time.
one person who lived it
View ended relationships as invitations to find yourself, choosing to see memories as lessons rather than torture.
Perspective determines whether memories become torture or lessons.
one person who lived it
Repeatedly engage with triggers like specific TV shows to help desensitize yourself over time.
Repeated exposures over time can help.
one person who lived it
Learn to view things objectively.
It is a difficult but necessary skill to avoid being dragged along by emotional manipulation.
one person who lived it
Meet people through shared interest communities or social events organized around hobbies.
One approach that helped: meeting a partner at a local enthusiast community event.
one person who lived it
Avoid sharing your past relationship drama with new romantic interests immediately.
Doing so can make moving forward impossible.
one person who lived it
Accept that non-platonic relationships are not more special than platonic ones.
one person who lived it
Explore new activities or hobbies you have never tried before, such as learning an instrument, cooking, or traveling.
4 people, independently