Parental conflict
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Adopt the perspective that you are watching your parents grow up, just as they watched you.
Keeping this perspective helps keep trying when it gets hard.
one person who lived it
Be gentle with yourself while figuring out life and relationships.
We are all just humans trying to figure this stuff out.
one person who lived it
Tell your father explicitly that your chosen path is where you want to be and what you want to do.
He will likely be proud of you for communicating this clearly.
one person who lived it
Outwardly agree with your parent's wishes while secretly doing what you want to keep them happy and reduce their aggression.
It keeps the parent happy and makes them less aggressive next time.
one person who lived it
Frame your request as a way to improve specific skills like reaction time or decision-making.
This appeals to parents' desire for self-improvement and helps persuade them.
one person who lived it
Work on building comfort with yourself and happiness with your life trajectory to reduce the pressure that causes you to talk without thinking.
Self-comfort reduces the internal pressure that leads to unthinking speech.
one person who lived it
If parents are bitter toward each other after separation, avoid taking sides to prevent developing negative feelings toward one of them.
Listening to only one side can lead to not liking one of your parents.
one person who lived it
Ask plenty of questions to make understanding your child's perspective easier.
It makes the process much easier.
one person who lived it
Use earbuds to block out unwanted venting and enforce your request to stop by removing your ability to hear.
one person who lived it