Social

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Focus on being close to people who are happy specifically because of your presence, rather than just those who make you happy.

    When things go wrong, your entire world can fall apart if you lack this mutual support.

    one person who lived it

  2. Stop hanging around people who are going nowhere in life.

    IT ACTUALLY MATTERS

    one person who lived it

  3. Accept that people come and go, and being nice does not guarantee they will be nice back.

    one person who lived it

  4. Expand your social circle to reduce the impact of individual cancellations on your plans.

    Having more friends means a single cancellation represents a smaller percentage of your total group.

    one person who lived it

  5. Balance career effort with investing in friendships.

    Prioritizing career too heavily at the expense of friendships can lead to regret later.

    • Based on one person's experience looking back at their 20s.

    one person who lived it

  1. Take improv or comedy classes to build social confidence.

    It will help you tremendously.

    one person who lived it

  2. Avoid friends who wreck resolutions, as they can undermine efforts to quit vices.

    Friends wreck people's resolutions more than expected.

    one person who lived it

  3. Make friends before starting to think about romantic partners.

    3 people, independently

  4. Lean into friendships and community building, push outside your comfort zone, and get comfortable doing things alone, such as through solo travel.

    one person who lived it

1 more on this
  1. Value authenticity and the unglamorous sides of people, recognizing that everyone has such aspects.

    People are often afraid of others seeing their unglamorous side, yet authentic people are attractive regardless of appearance.

    one person who lived it

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