Social norms
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Use a friend's business as a way to work out the strength of the friendship.
It reveals who your real friends are and who does not appreciate or support you.
2 people, independently
Pay full price for goods or services from a friend's business to show support.
Paying full price supports them financially rather than treating their business as a charity; asking for a discount may signal that you undervalue them.
8 people, independently
Ignore social pressure to buy from friends in Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) schemes.
People in MLMs do not really own a business, so you are allowed to ignore them.
- You do not need to try to 'save' these people from the scheme.
one person who lived it
Tell friends you do not give discounts because you work to survive, not to benefit them.
You are doing something you don't want to do for money.
one person who lived it
Tip well or overpay when using a friend's service to show extra appreciation and support.
It means you stay friends.
one person who lived it
If a business discriminates against you or groups you support, stop giving them your money and tell others to do the same.
This affects their bottom line.
one person who lived it
Let the business owner decide on discounts or added value rather than demanding them.
Expecting a discount de-values you and your time.
2 people, independently
Do not assume friends will provide free catering or large-scale event services just because they are chefs.
Providing such services involves buying, cooking, and serving food, which is significant work.
one person who lived it
Leave larger tips when a friend providing a service gives you a freebie or refuses payment.
3 people, independently
7 more on this
Become a paying customer for friends' small businesses instead of asking for free or discounted items.
Asking for support is disrespectful and rude.
one person who lived it
If a friend offers a discount, politely decline once; if they insist, accept it graciously.
A stalemate over payment can turn both parties into enemies.
one person who lived it
Recognize that refusing to do work for free can cause rifts in friendships, potentially leading to the end of the relationship.
Mutual resentment can arise over perceived cheekiness or lack of favors.
one person who lived it
Avoid doing discounted work for friends or family to preserve the relationship.
Doing so often leads to regret and changes the relationship negatively.
one person who lived it
Treat interactions with friends' businesses strictly as professional transactions.
It works out fine.
one person who lived it
Do not complain if you receive standard pricing on a subsequent visit after previously receiving an unauthorized discount.
Customers often complain that they received a discount or free service during a previous visit.
one person who lived it
Visit friends' businesses unannounced and wait until after paying to reveal your presence, avoiding offers of complimentary items or discounts.
one person who lived it