Support
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Prepare meals in advance and leave them in the fridge for your partner to eat when they return home exhausted.
It makes a huge difference to have home-cooked meals.
one person who lived it
If you struggle to remember if you locked the door, say aloud what you are doing and have a significant other repeat it back to you.
You can recall what you said and have them confirm it when you feel the urge to check.
one person who lived it
Give your partner a massage focused on their feet and legs after their shift.
They will be very grateful for the relief from standing all shift.
one person who lived it
Let the grieving person know you are there for them, but do not pester them; leave them space if they need it.
4 people, independently
Maintain at least one trusted adult who knows everything about your life so they can support or guide you if something happens.
Having someone aware of your situation ensures support during crises.
- Especially important while growing up.
one person who lived it
Offer to feed friends in tight places or send home leftovers, even if they would not accept cash help.
It makes the giver feel warm and fuzzy.
one person who lived it
Provide cooked meals or groceries to new parents to remove chores from their plate.
It saves sanity and reduces the burden of extra responsibilities while they adjust to a newborn.
2 people, independently
When checking in on a friend after a high-stakes event where disappointment is likely, wait for them to reach out first or be prepared for bad news if you do contact them.
Asking directly may force them to share negative news they haven't processed yet; having a genuine response ready prevents awkwardness.
one person who lived it
Use disposable casserole dishes when dropping off food.
This prevents the patient from having to wash dishes or remember to return containers.
one person who lived it
2 more on this
Actively engage your partner about their preferences, needs, and opinions if they are slow to assert them, and celebrate when they push back or disagree.
- Based on one person's approach with a partner who is slower to assert herself.
one person who lived it
If you cynically criticize a partner's new hobby or diet, apologize immediately and recognize that your attitude hurt them because they were excited to share something positive.
Attacking something positive in their life causes significant hurt and anger.
one person who lived it