Toxic friends
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
If someone brags, respond with a bored 'Cool story, bro' or simply say 'cool' and walk away.
Denying them the attention they seek may cause them to stop.
one person who lived it
Branch out from your current friend group to meet new people and find new hobbies or passions.
Bonding over common interests with strangers can lead to true friendships.
one person who lived it
Complain less to friends who complain excessively.
They are not being helpful; they are making it worse.
one person who lived it
Do not laugh at their comments, as laughing signals approval and encourages them to continue.
Laughing makes them think you are laughing with them, which leads them to keep doing it.
one person who lived it
Avoid acting morally superior or laughing at bullies.
Some people will continue the behavior to boost their ego.
- Really stupid people may use your reaction as a platform for an ego boost.
one person who lived it
If someone makes a rude comment, politely ask if they intended it to be rude.
This gentle approach is effective.
one person who lived it
Disagree firmly with friends who include you in their insecurities by stating your own positive feelings.
They will leave it alone.
one person who lived it
Drop fake friends and find people who genuinely like you for who you are.
one person who lived it
React to backhanded compliments with sincere gratitude.
People tend to be hypersensitive to anything 'backhanded,' and reacting with gratitude comes off as high self-confidence.
one person who lived it
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Avoid mirroring toxic behavior unless you can defend your stance as vigorously as theirs.
Otherwise, you may be backed into admitting you are saying things you don't believe just to be contrary.
one person who lived it
Call out bullies directly instead of pretending nothing is wrong.
Pretending doesn't help.
one person who lived it
View the behavior of insecure people as suffering, and choose not to take it seriously.
one person who lived it
Have as little contact as possible with psychological vampires and remove them from your life as soon as possible.
one person who lived it
Resolve your own feelings about the situation before responding, so you can address what is really happening without appearing like easy prey.
Your hurt is your responsibility; resolving it prevents reactive responses.
one person who lived it
Share minimal personal information with toxic colleagues to prevent them from weaponizing it against you.
Information shared is likely to be used as a weapon.
one person who lived it