Toxic relationships
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Cut ties with harmful people, even if it results in a smaller social circle.
Life often functions better without these people.
4 people, independently
- Cut off friends who constantly lower your quality of life before they pull you under.6
- Reduce your time around harmful people if you cannot cut ties completely.3
Ask yourself if an activity makes you happy or if you truly want to do it; if the answer is no, decline.
This principle helped one person eliminate toxic friends from their life over a couple of years.
one person who lived it
Speak up if you find a friend's behavior messed up, even if it risks the friendship.
It is worth mentioning to them.
one person who lived it
If a friendship brings you down, keep your distance rather than staying out of loyalty to past effort.
Continuing investment feels like a waste despite the negative impact.
2 people, independently
Accept that you cannot help everyone fix their own life issues.
Sometimes people need to resolve their problems on their own.
one person who lived it
Stop hanging out with toxic friends and reply briefly with 'no' to requests for favors or hangouts without providing excuses.
Saying yes contracts you with them.
one person who lived it
Do not dismiss a new friend's toxic behavior toward others just because they are nice to you; observe how they treat service staff and tip as indicators of their true character.
How they treat others reveals who they really are.
one person who lived it
Deactivate all social media accounts for the next few months after cutting contact to prevent a toxic person from accessing your information through hacked or borrowed accounts.
To avoid the stress of them getting info or pictures if they are unstable.
one person who lived it
Go no-contact with a toxic friend after several failed attempts at communicating result in no changes.
No time for this.
one person who lived it
- Slowly withdraw from a toxic friend over several months and stop responding to their messages, rather than confronting them directly.8
6 more on this
Be direct and do not lead a friend on if you decide to end the friendship.
Waffling and stringing someone along causes prolonged distress.
one person who lived it
Try to remove your name from a shared lease if leaving a manipulative partner.
To avoid financial liability for major damage they might do to the apartment out of hurt feelings.
one person who lived it
If you lack good friends, find companionship in books, inspirational films, or TV while you wait to attract better company.
It helps fill the void until you attract a better element.
one person who lived it
If you find yourself in a destructive conversation, one approach that helped is to refuse to engage.
It can help both personally and professionally.
one person who lived it
Keep distance from negative people and ignore them without explaining your behavior.
Doing so improves your environment.
one person who lived it
Recognize that constantly complaining about a toxic relationship while ignoring advice can ruin the friendship.
one person who lived it