Trust
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
If friends and family warn you are being conned, assume you likely are.
They likely see what you cannot.
- This is not always true; one person was involved with a toxic friend group when meeting their fiancé.
one person who lived it
Check what an expert is doing for themselves (e.g., buying stocks) rather than just listening to their public advice, as their advice may serve their own benefit.
Their advice might just be for their own benefit.
one person who lived it
Judge people based on their actions rather than assuming the best or worst about them.
Assuming the best or the worst in people can both end poorly.
one person who lived it
Allow friends to use white lies or soft no's to save face rather than calling them out on the deception.
It is a courtesy that saves face for both sides.
one person who lived it
Invest time in doing well or pursuing interesting hobbies so that people are drawn to your good vibes.
People run to those who are doing well or have interesting things going on.
one person who lived it
Judge people by their consistent actions rather than their words.
6 people, independently
- Judge character by actions rather than self-proclaimed virtues.1
Test a new acquaintance's honesty by leaving a small amount of money visible but out of the way to see if they steal it.
Stealing a small, noticeable bill reveals character.
2 people, independently
Trust others but verify their actions, as betrayal can occur suddenly.
You may know someone well right up until the moment they betray you.
one person who lived it
Tell your partner the truth about their friends' dislike as nicely as possible, allow them time to grieve, and then encourage them to make new friends.
Continuing to pretend there is nothing wrong is a waste of everyone's time.
one person who lived it
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Practice critical thinking.
The world needs more of it.
one person who lived it
Do not give someone a second chance (e.g., a second date or interview) if your initial data suggests they are untrustworthy.
You already have enough data to make a decision.
one person who lived it
Start taking steps to make changes today.
The timing or reason for past problems is subjective and irrelevant because you have no option but to begin now.
one person who lived it
Consider staying single and enjoying your own company if it feels better than struggling to find steady relationships.
One person described it as a great feeling to realize they were better off single.
one person who lived it
Be wary of people who gossip about others, as they likely share your private conversations too.
They are not trustworthy.
one person who lived it
Let people earn your trust instead of trusting everyone from the beginning.
Trusting everyone initially and giving more than you take can leave you feeling exhausted.
one person who lived it
Use humor or group dynamics to gently call out a friend's minor lying about being busy by framing it as a shared joke.
It gets the message across without affecting the friendship.
one person who lived it
If you constantly encounter difficult people in relationships, consider that you may be the common factor.
3 people, independently
Be suspicious of sales reps who use strong adjectives but lack specific details.
Probably a shitty product.
one person who lived it
Understand that friends venting to multiple people is normal and helps prevent wearing out one listener.
It prevents one person from being worn out hearing stories repeatedly.
one person who lived it
Be skeptical of people who forward scary warnings on social media, as they may be seeking status rather than providing accurate information.
It is often done for street cred rather than to control you.
one person who lived it
Analyze a partner's actions and effort rather than their words to determine sincerity.
Actions speak volumes over nice words, which may be used solely to gain intimacy.
one person who lived it
Set boundaries to prevent unkind people from taking advantage of you, while keeping walls low enough to give and receive love and kindness.
one person who lived it
Believe a friend's true colors when they react aggressively to being called out on lying, and leave the relationship.
one person who lived it
Exercise heightened skepticism toward news or announcements posted around March 31st through April 2nd due to international variations in April Fools' Day pranks.
Time zone differences mean pranks may continue into April 2nd in some regions, leading to confusion.
one person who lived it
Double-check information from bold or confident sources, as high confidence often correlates with inaccuracy; verify claims using credible sources.
Boldness is not a reliable indicator of truth and can be used to deceive.
one person who lived it
Trust your initial intuition about a person, as it aggregates subconscious experience faster than conscious thought.
Intuition is the mind aggregating experience subconsciously.
one person who lived it