More on neighbours and community
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Give extra food that you cannot use or freeze to neighbors or people you know are struggling.
To prevent the food from going to waste.
one person who lived it
Read 'How to See Yourself As You Really Are' by the Dalai Lama.
It is helpful.
one person who lived it
Show up at the DMV when they first open.
One person was in and out in 35 minutes without an appointment using this method.
one person who lived it
Read 'Get Out of Your Own Way' by Mark Goulston.
One person reported it helped change how they think about problems and their reactions to them while working through personal issues.
one person who lived it
- Read 'Unbeatable Mind' by Mark Divine.1
Seek free or leased land in urban areas for farming or community projects.
Local governments may offer land for free to avoid maintenance costs.
one person who lived it
Learn pizza making techniques from YouTube tutorials.
Multiple users report learning most of their knowledge from YouTube and note it makes the process not hard to learn.
2 people, independently
Offer to mow the lawn plus a small additional gesture, such as a minor housewarming gift, to add value beyond the basic service.
The lawn mowing represents the 'yes', and the extra gift represents the 'and'.
one person who lived it
Keep a physical copy of your mail-in ballot.
It is extremely important for recounts.
one person who lived it
Read 'Meditations' by Marcus Aurelius.
One person reported it helped change how they think about problems and their reactions to them while working through personal issues.
one person who lived it
25 more on this
Buy inexpensive, serviceable secondhand tools for troubled teens or youth programs to teach them valuable skills.
one person who lived it
Encourage other neighbors who share walls or live nearby to file noise complaints with bylaw enforcement.
Having as many people as possible complain increases pressure on the offender.
one person who lived it
Ensure posts provide actionable ways to save money rather than just venting or entertainment.
The purpose of the community is to learn ways to save money.
one person who lived it
Frame your offer to mow the lawn as a continuation of what you did for previous residents to present it as a friendly neighborly tradition rather than a critique of their current care.
This eases your way into the interaction and shifts the perception from criticizing their lawn care to performing a friendly neighborly act.
one person who lived it
Donate unopened pet food received via auto-ship after a pet's death to local TNR groups or people struggling financially, rather than trying to return it.
A representative suggested donating the food in the cat’s memory.
one person who lived it
Design personalized word searches based on shared memories and favorite places to send to an incarcerated partner.
One person reported their partner seemed to enjoy it.
- Based on one person's experience with their ex-partner.
one person who lived it
Go to a public library if your home air conditioning breaks.
Libraries provide free air conditioning and internet access.
one person who lived it
If you share a DIY project in a community forum, include details about where you started and how you reached your result to help others in similar situations.
It allows others in a similar place to look to your example.
one person who lived it
Accept that public venues cannot cater completely to your preferences regarding noise and behavior.
Public spaces inherently cannot satisfy every individual's liking.
one person who lived it
Volunteer at homeless shelters outside of the holiday season.
Shelters are flooded with volunteers around Thanksgiving and Christmas, but cannot always find enough help other times of the year.
one person who lived it
Tell food bank staff when you stop needing services so they do not worry about your disappearance.
Staff worry about regulars who disappear without notice.
one person who lived it
Accept that living with parents is normal in most cultures, even if it feels unusual in yours.
one person who lived it
In written complaints to bureaucracy, use the company's name instead of the word 'you' to avoid making the reader defensive.
Using 'you' makes the complaint personal and triggers defensiveness in the reader.
one person who lived it
Vote for continued public library funding to preserve free community resources.
Libraries depend on people using them to keep funding.
one person who lived it
Update your voter registration immediately after moving to ensure you are registered at your current address.
People often go to the same polling location they were registered at for their old address.
one person who lived it
Expect long waits at voting places in cities and minority areas due to understaffing.
These locations can be notoriously understaffed, leading to hours-long waits described as acts of voter suppression.
one person who lived it
Avoid giving chrysanthemums in Italy unless it is for a funeral.
They are culturally associated with death.
one person who lived it
Smile and wave at neighbors regularly to encourage reciprocal friendly behavior in the community.
One person reported that this led to others smiling and waving back at them and each other.
one person who lived it
Tell people you are shopping for someone special to deflect questions while maintaining privacy.
This statement is absolutely true and maintains your privacy.
one person who lived it
Avoid implying that Europeans lack personal hygiene standards based on their line-drying habits.
Many Europeans are sensitive to this suggestion.
one person who lived it
Consider joining or starting a community lending library for tools instead of individual ownership.
It is a wonderful idea that promotes fairness and community living.
one person who lived it
Privately inform volunteer managers about uncomfortable dynamics or self-appointed leaders emerging among volunteers so they can resolve it early.
To prevent small issues from becoming larger headaches for coordinators.
one person who lived it
Shop at charity stores to help fundraise for the local community and avoid supporting sweatshop labor.
Money goes into the local community rather than to sweatshop owners.
one person who lived it
Include gender-neutral or male-specific gifts in charity donations, as boys' gifts are often harder to source.
one person who lived it
Record video evidence of the bad behavior to show relevant parties, such as parents or customer service.
one person who lived it