Roommates
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Ensure all residents are officially listed on the lease to prevent guests from leaving without consequences.
Those not on the lease may view themselves as free guests who can skip out easily.
one person who lived it
Address roommates by name when greeting them in shared spaces.
They like it.
one person who lived it
Write down house rules in a shared document and agree on them before moving in together.
It provides a reference point to lean back on during difficult times.
- It may feel uncomfortable or embarrassing in the moment.
one person who lived it
Do not take on a parental role for an ungrateful or unruly roommate.
It allows them to drag you down.
one person who lived it
Be mindful of volume levels at all times.
Apartment walls are thin.
one person who lived it
Be nice enough to housemates so they won't throw you under the bus.
Roommates may ask you to move out if they discover differences in habits or preferences.
one person who lived it
Agree ahead of time on rules for romantic partners staying over, including limits on consecutive nights, monthly totals, and charges for excess guests.
Bills go up when there are extra guests beyond the agreed amount.
one person who lived it
Split rent by dividing shared areas equally and charging bedroom costs based on square footage.
Otherwise, roommates may lose their fair share of common resources like bathroom time or fridge space.
one person who lived it
Wait at least 10 minutes after a roommate arrives home before discussing obligations or complaints to let them settle in.
This helped avoid nastiness in disagreements.
one person who lived it
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Do not complain if roommates who moved in earlier have already set up their space.
Complaining is extremely selfish.
one person who lived it
Have current roommates sit in on interviews for new potential roommates.
One person found this approach helpful.
one person who lived it
Keep a mini-fridge in your bedroom to store food separately from shared spaces.
It protects your food from being tampered with by roommates who may dislike you.
one person who lived it
Take photos of your personal kitchenware and belongings when moving in to verify ownership later.
It is easy to forget what belongs to whom after everyone uses each other's stuff for a year.
one person who lived it
Wait for new roommates to ask before letting them use your belongings, rather than volunteering access.
Some people equate kindness with permission to take what they want and apologize afterward.
one person who lived it
Avoid creating overly strict ground rules.
You risk becoming the annoying, anal roommate.
one person who lived it
Be kind to sick roommates by providing basic comforts like soup or electrolytes.
You may need similar help when you feel unwell.
one person who lived it
Ask your roommates directly about their sleep schedules and whether they can tolerate noise from appliances like blenders.
Online advice cannot know what your specific roommates or neighbors want.
one person who lived it
Expect an 'extinction burst' where behavior worsens before improving when you start ignoring them.
The behavior may intensify temporarily, similar to mashing a soda machine button when no soda comes out, before stopping.
one person who lived it
Always lock your bedroom door when you leave the apartment to protect your belongings and privacy from roommates.
It prevents others from messing with your things or invading your privacy.
one person who lived it
Create a written inventory list of your possessions upon moving in to resolve ownership disputes.
Many items become up for debate without a record.
one person who lived it
Clearly communicate expectations about tasks like dishwashing and address issues promptly without starting a fight.
People cannot fix behaviors they do not know bother others.
one person who lived it
Respect privacy boundaries by not entering a roommate's room without permission or reason.
Snooping for no reason is a significant issue worth discussing.
one person who lived it
Speak openly and vulnerably with roommates, even if you are close friends.
Communication is key to maintaining the relationship.
one person who lived it
Communicate boundaries regarding personal property immediately upon moving in.
Living together does not imply that all possessions are shared.
one person who lived it
Address issues directly instead of using passive-aggressive notes or comments.
Passive-aggression makes things miserable and creates a volatile situation ready to explode.
one person who lived it
Divide fridge and shelf space explicitly among roommates to prevent issues with storing groceries.
Having no place to store purchased groceries is worse; explicit division prevented food problems.
one person who lived it