Communication
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Recognize that people often misuse 'I' instead of 'me' due to a fear of sounding uneducated.
People are conditioned to think using 'me' sounds wrong or stupid, leading to hypercorrection.
- This is based on personal experience and common misconceptions.
4 people, independently
- If you are unsure whether to use 'I' or 'me', default to using 'me' because being wrong with 'me' is less socially damaging than being wrong with 'I'.2
- Be aware that hypercorrection may lead you to incorrectly use 'and I' where 'and me' is grammatically correct, due to over-teaching in school.5
Text face-to-face with hard-of-hearing people if you do not know sign language.
One person found it surprisingly fun.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Use 'I' after forms of the verb 'to be' (e.g., 'It is I'), recognizing that the auxiliary verb like 'am' is often implied or omitted in casual speech.
The verb 'to be' is the exception where 'I' is required, though the following verb is often understood.
- This usage is often omitted in casual speech.
2 people, independently
Never use 'I's' as a possessive form; use 'my' instead (e.g., 'my husband's and my house', not 'my husband's and I's house').
'I's' is not a word.
3 people, independently
Be prepared that call center agents may not recognize the NATO phonetic alphabet; have a backup plan for spelling out information.
Agents often do not know the standard words and may even disagree with customers who use them correctly.
- None of the coworkers mentioned used standard words.
2 people, independently
If you are unsure whether to use 'who' or 'whom', check if the answer to the question would be 'I' (use 'who') or 'me' (use 'whom').
If the answer is 'I', you are the subject; if 'me', you are the object.
one person who lived it
Teach children to remove 'you' from sentences to check which pronoun case is correct.
It is easier for them than removing other names.
one person who lived it
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Use the industry term 'record locator' instead of 'confirmation number' when speaking with airline support staff.
Staff may assume you are also in the industry, which can lead to better support or favors.
one person who lived it
Verify that you are learning the sign language specific to your country, as different national sign languages are mutually unintelligible.
Proficiency in ASL does not enable communication in BSL, just as English does not cover Italian.
4 people, independently
Visualize a white room that populates only with the items you mention to ensure you include important details and exclude unnecessary ones.
It helps you see things from the listener's point of view.
one person who lived it
Recognize that both 'between you and I' and 'between you and me' are considered grammatical in modern descriptive linguistics.
Both versions have been used historically, including by Shakespeare 400 years ago.
- The 'me' version is still overwhelmingly preferred in edited published prose.
one person who lived it
Use proper grammar in job applications and emails to important customers.
You will be taken more seriously.
one person who lived it
Place the other person before yourself in a compound subject or object as a matter of courtesy.
Putting others first is a courtesy, not a strict grammatical rule.
2 people, independently
Avoid using non-standard number pronunciations like 'tree' or 'fife' unless necessary, as they can annoy listeners.
People may roll their eyes at these terms.
one person who lived it
Be aware that misusing 'I' versus 'me' can reduce professional trust and negatively impact judgments about your competence at work.
It makes others trust your judgment less.
one person who lived it
Package your ideas, as superior ideas may be dismissed if not communicated properly.
Poor packaging can lead to being overlooked despite doing good work.
one person who lived it
Avoid using common names that sound similar when spelling letters informally; instead, use distinct words or the standard alphabet.
Names like Nancy/Mancy or Ronald/Donald can be mixed up and cause confusion.
2 people, independently
Before explaining anything, ask your audience what they already know about the topic to save time and identify misconceptions.
It prevents appearing condescending.
one person who lived it
Be aware that accents can blur syllables, making even standard phonetic alphabets unreliable during phone calls.
Pronunciation differences can obscure syllables, and non-native speakers may use unexpected words (like 'Iguana' for E).
one person who lived it
Learn American Sign Language to improve your ability to read body language and non-manual signals in everyday interactions.
ASL classes teach useful insights about body language that apply to general events.
one person who lived it
Do not use comparative modifiers like 'more' or 'most' with absolute adjectives like 'unique'.
Absolutes cannot have a degree; something is either unique or not.
one person who lived it
Create an 'unphonetic' alphabet using words with silent or obscure spellings (such as Gnome, Knight, Mnemonic, Pneumatic, Queue) to clarify letters.
3 people, independently