Code words with your family
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Set a text-based code with your child to verify they still have possession of their phone if you suspect they might not be safe.
It ensures you know they are safe rather than just receiving a message from someone else holding their device.
one person who lived it
If you authorize trusted friends to pick up your children, set a specific code word and handshake so the child can verify their identity.
It allows the child to feel safe if someone other than you needs to pick them up.
one person who lived it
Use a code phrase with your partner to signal readiness to leave a gathering, avoiding the need to spend significant time convincing them to go.
It eliminates the delay of trying to get your partner to agree to leave on their own.
2 people, independently
Even if you do not have a code word, ask suspicious callers for one; observe their reaction to determine if they are an imposter.
The reaction reveals whether you are talking to the real person or a scammer.
one person who lived it
Agree on a single letter text message to send to a trusted contact if you are in danger.
one person who lived it
- Establish an emergency word via text that triggers an immediate, no-questions-asked rescue.1
Set a secret password that only authorized adults know, which your child must ask strangers for before going with them to verify identity.
Prevents abduction by unfamiliar adults claiming to be friends with parents.
one person who lived it
Disguise a code word as a chore check-in (e.g., asking about cleaning) so relatives perceive it as ordinary and do not raise suspicion.
It prevents escalation by appearing as a normal question about household tasks.
one person who lived it
Ask suspicious callers how you met them to test their legitimacy, as they often lack specific personal history.
Scammers often cannot provide accurate details about how they know you.
one person who lived it
Set a two-word code system (e.g., 'Marco' and 'Polo') with a trusted person to coordinate an emergency extraction from a date; one word initiates the check-in, and the response triggers a fake emergency call so you can leave.
one person who lived it
2 more on this
Pick a random oddball emoji with your child to signal that you need to be picked up immediately, even if accompanied by a message saying you are having fun.
one person who lived it
Promise unconditional pickup without lectures if a child feels unsafe, removing barriers to calling for help.
one person who lived it