Appearance

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

View your smile as part of your professional outfit to help put clients at ease.
It helps you get your job done.
- Specific to working with clients.
one person who lived it
Take a body language course to shift how others perceive your maturity level.
Things shifted for one person after taking such a course.
- This is based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Make a conscious effort to smile and be expressive in social situations.
It brings visible results and can make you feel happier; forcing it initially may become natural over time.
- In some bad situations, smiling might attract negative attention or aggression from people who dislike seeing happy people.
2 people, independently
Avoid forcing a smile if it results in a grimace or looks unnatural.
It can appear more off-putting or creepy than a neutral face.
one person who lived it
Cultivate self-confidence and radiate happiness so you do not have to fake expressions.
No one will think you are unhappy when you radiate happiness and confidence.
one person who lived it

smile, facial, face, expression43

Think of happy things, such as puppies, to naturally induce a gentle smile.

Smile intentionally, even without a reason, to make people feel safe around you.
It makes people feel safe around us.
one person who lived it
Accept that others will eventually get to know you and stop judging your resting expression.
Over time, people who know you personally no longer care about your default facial expression.
- Based on one person's long-term experience.
one person who lived it
Squinch your face as if eating a lemon, then make a face as if seeing a lion; repeat this a few times.
It helps loosen up your whole face.
one person who lived it
Look around at the world and find funny things to laugh at to combat a gloomy mood.
The world is a funny place with plenty to laugh at.
one person who lived it

32 more on this

When faking a smile, do not show your bottom teeth.
Showing bottom teeth can make you look like a serial killer rather than friendly.
one person who lived it
Take deep belly breaths to ease tension in the jaw and relax the face.
One person found this helped melt away jaw tension.
one person who lived it
If you are not happy, aim to look friendly instead of happy to appear more approachable.
It makes you more approachable even if you aren't happy.
one person who lived it
- Practice smiling through your eyes and loosening your body language around people to seem friendlier, even if your mouth stays neutral.3
Shower daily to avoid being greasy and smelly.
Poor hygiene is perceived as gross and creepy by others.
one person who lived it
Keep a 'ready to smile' expression with slightly smiling eyes.
A slack attitude sets up an antisocial force field that repels people.
one person who lived it
Wear bold glasses to cover bags under the eyes.
One person reported this stopped others from commenting on their appearance.
- Based on one person's experience
one person who lived it
Keep a professional demeanor at work by knowing when to be relaxed and when to be formal, as failing to do so can cost you raises.
The workplace is a professional setting.
one person who lived it
Practice facial yoga to train your muscles to smile more naturally.
One person reported it helps a lot by training facial muscles.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Keep your face fixed with a slight smile and maintain positive thoughts.
One person reported that people actually talked to them when they did this.
one person who lived it
Dress in more formal or mature clothing styles, such as suits, cardigans, flats, or smart-casual attire instead of baggy t-shirts, hoodies, or sneakers.
Plain colors and mature dress codes make you appear more mature than cartoon characters or casual wear.
2 people, independently
Move your body, look at the speaker's eyes and mouth, and nod to signal that you are listening.
It shows engagement and prevents appearing motionless or disengaged.
2 people, independently
Control your facial expression by putting on a smile and relaxing your shoulders.
This makes you appear less tense and more approachable, which can help others feel more relaxed around you.
one person who lived it
- Raise your eyebrows slightly (without wrinkling) and apply the faintest smile to soften your appearance.2
- Smile when around people to avoid appearing blank or staring into space.1
- Practice holding a pleasant facial expression (smiling, wiggling lips, crinkling eyes) in front of a mirror until the muscles ache to build muscle memory, then assume that position when you feel your resting face becoming negative.1
If you wonder whether your clothing looks too creased, assume it does.
Others, including women and older adults, may judge you as a slob who does not care.
one person who lived it
Wear a sharp suit instead of street-wear to offset the intimidation of facial tattoos and disrupt negative stereotypes.
Dressing sharply means people do not fit you into a tidy box, forcing them to think more about you.
one person who lived it
Train yourself to stop perpetually frowning.
It makes a difference in how others perceive you.
one person who lived it
- Keep a neutral expression rather than letting a fully relaxed mouth hang into a frown; remind yourself to do this regularly.1
When alone, actively tell yourself to relax your face to feel your muscles loosen.
This helps you feel the difference as your muscles relax.
one person who lived it
Think of happy things, such as puppies, to naturally induce a gentle smile.
- This trick does not work for everyone.
5 people, independently
- Watch comedy to keep amusing thoughts in mind, making it easier to smile naturally.1
Purposely think about things that make you happy while walking or going about your day to induce a sunnier disposition.
It usually makes you smile or have a sunnier disposition.
one person who lived it
Take up interest-based communities to build attraction based on authentic selves rather than looks.
Getting to know people in long-term communities shifts the focus from looks to your authentic self.
one person who lived it
Listen to favorite standup comedy sets or music while traveling or walking.
It lifts your mood and makes you look less grumpy.
one person who lived it
Hold your eyebrows in a slightly raised position to project openness, curiosity, and positivity.
This facial expression signals that you are friendly, attentive, and open.
3 people, independently
- Slightly raise your eyebrows during conversation to suggest interest and appear friendly without forcing a smile.2
Slightly smile by turning up the ends of your mouth to avoid looking angry.
One director advised this because the subject always looked angry.
one person who lived it
Present yourself well and be confident in yourself.
Other people's judgments often reflect their own inability to fix themselves.
2 people, independently
Be aware that sunlight can make normal tops appear sheer or revealing.
Sunlight changes how clothing looks, potentially showing things underneath.
one person who lived it
Watch makeup tutorials by creators who share your facial features to get a natural look.
It helps if the makeup looks 'unnatural' because you may be using techniques suited for different features.
one person who lived it
Recognize that expectations for smiling vary by culture; do not internalize criticism based on American norms if you live elsewhere.
In some places in America, not smiling leads to judgment, whereas in Eastern Europe, smiling may be viewed with suspicion.
one person who lived it
Wear hairstyles or hats that pull your face upward, such as ponytails, braids, or tight hats, to counteract downward features associated with looking sad.
Downward facial features contribute to a sad appearance; pulling the face up changes this impression.
one person who lived it
Do not assume bad intentions from others regarding your face; recognize that judging your resting face is often a reflection of their insecurity.
Assuming bad intentions is excessively cynical and wrong.
one person who lived it
Keep a neutral or expressionless face when you do not wish to be approached by strangers.
An expressionless demeanor helps deter unwanted engagement from strangers.
one person who lived it
Realize that close friends may not notice your resting angry face, even if partners do.
one person who lived it
Be mindful that intentional smiles might be perceived as smug smirks rather than friendly gestures.
A slight smile can unfortunately come across as smugness even when intended as friendliness.
one person who lived it
Recognize that if people seem intimidated by your appearance, it likely reflects their own insecurities rather than your actual demeanor.
one person who lived it

people8

Smile and laugh off remarks about appearing young to prevent defensiveness.

Be honest and simply state 'I don't want to talk about it' when asked about your mood.
That’s being honest.
one person who lived it
Act mature, serious, polite, and courteous to gain respect from older people who expect you to act goofy.
Older people respect that because they're expecting you to act goofy.
one person who lived it
Establish boundaries immediately by responding to rudeness with sharp questions like 'Excuse me?' or 'What did you just say?'
This lets rude people know from the beginning that you are not okay with being spoken to rudely.
one person who lived it
If people comment that you look grumpy, joke about having a resting grumpy face to lighten the mood.
It lightens the mood if presented correctly.
one person who lived it

4 more on this

Nod and make intermittent eye contact during conversations to show you are paying attention and not angry.
so people know you aren't actually angry
one person who lived it
Smile and laugh off remarks about appearing young to prevent defensiveness.
Such comments carry no real weight; there is no reason to react defensively to every phrase. Eventually, they will register as compliments rather than jabs.
3 people, independently
View women as human beings rather than sexual objects to avoid coming across as creepy.
one person who lived it
Ask yourself if you want to associate with people who change their behavior toward you upon learning your age.
one person who lived it