Conversation

Follow up on previous conversations later to show you remembered details.

People will be impressed that you remembered.

3 people, independently

• Remember what people tell you so you can ask follow-up questions later, such as 'How did ___ go?'3
• Use details you already know about the other person to start or continue conversations, such as checking in on past events they mentioned.3
• Cultivate curiosity about people's answers and comments to generate follow-up questions that clarify their story.5

guide the chat toward a subject that feels safe and engaging for you.

5 people, independently

• Follow the natural flow of the conversation rather than forcing topics you want to discuss.10
• Use standard openers like 'How was your week?' or 'Are you doing anything for [holiday]?' to start conversations.3
• Prepare a couple of backup questions or topics before socializing to help start the flow of conversation.14
• Begin interactions with simple greetings like 'Hi, how’s it going' and let the conversation flow naturally.10
• Force yourself to initiate a conversation every now and again.3
• Progress conversations from shallow topics like weather to personal subjects, and finally to feelings.4
• Start conversations based on the shared context or surroundings, such as a class or event.3
• Ask someone for advice on something to start a conversation.4
• Mentally prepare roughly 5 topics or questions before a one-on-one interaction to deploy when conversation lags.3
• Start a conversation by asking a question about whatever the person is currently doing.3
• Continue the conversation after answering a question by adding details or asking another question.3

Focus on being interested in others rather than trying to be interesting yourself.

Being interesting is about other people, not you.

3 people, independently

Show authentic interest in the other person's identity and motivations, avoiding questions asked merely to bridge silence.

Common interests form the foundation of friendships.

4 people, independently

Write down conversation prompts or topics you find interesting in advance to use as starters.

Thinking ahead gives you more time to prepare before the conversation ends.

3 people, independently

Focus on the other person's experiences rather than just how they relate to your own life.

3 people, independently

Avoid discussing Religion, Abortion, Politics, and Economics (RAPE) in casual conversation.

These topics may damage an acquaintance's opinion of you even if the conversation remains civil.

4 people, independently

Take the lead in social interactions by introducing yourself and learning about others, rather than waiting for common ground to appear.

6 people, independently

• Introduce yourself and ask for names to naturally start a conversation.6

Shift your attention to other people if current partners show no interest or desire to converse.

3 people, independently

Bounce off specific details mentioned by the other person to keep the conversation moving and show you are listening.

11 people, independently

• Attune yourself to small details in the other person's speech to jump off of.3
• Focus on active listening by focusing on the speaker's words, while also contributing your own ideas.3
• Repeat the last few words the other person said to encourage them to continue their story or idea.3
• Rephrase factual statements or observations as questions directed at the other person to engage them.4
• Directly link your responses to whatever the other person just said.4
• Acknowledge the other person's contribution before adding your own opinion, story, or related take to the conversation.4

Get people talking about themselves.

People generally love to talk about themselves.

6 people, independently

Develop a habit of asking questions to bond with others; they often enjoy discussing themselves, which relieves your stress.

3 people, independently

Recognize that keeping the conversation going is a shared responsibility, not solely yours.

3 people, independently

Make making the other person feel good about themselves your main job function in conversation.

4 people, independently

Use people's names when speaking to them to foster a sense of connection.

5 people, independently

• Smile and say hello to acquaintances even in passing, using their name.3

Smile, state who you are, recall names, maintain eye contact, and focus while others speak.

3 people, independently

Inject your own opinions and experiences into conversations to prevent them from feeling like one-sided interviews.

4 people, independently

Concentrate on moving the conversation from one topic to another instead of trying to craft the perfect comment.

3 people, independently

Approach people who catch your eye in public spaces to initiate conversation.

4 people, independently

Clarify your intentions (e.g., friendship vs. romantic approach) before engaging.

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• Focus on expressing genuine curiosity rather than obsessing over befriending someone.3

Comment on what someone is wearing or doing, such as genuinely complimenting their outfit.

5 people, independently

• Compliment someone's clothing or accessories and ask for recommendations or where they purchased it.6

After finishing a personal story, explicitly ask the other person about their experience on the same topic to shift focus back to them.

6 people, independently

Ask follow-up questions based on the other person's specific responses.

3 people, independently

Share statements that invite comments from others, allowing the conversation to flow without needing to ask questions.

3 people, independently

Ask how their week or day has been instead of asking how they are.

3 people, independently

Ask open-ended questions about the other person's feelings or actions instead of sharing your own experiences.

6 people, independently

Ask open-ended questions that show you are listening, such as asking someone to tell you more or how they got interested in a hobby.

4 people, independently

Combine inquiries with personal remarks or guiding comments so the exchange feels conversational rather than like an interrogation.

4 people, independently

Practice holding conversations with many people, including strangers in low-stakes situations like cashiers or drivers.

Conversation skills come with more practice.

10 people, independently

• Practice conversation skills regularly to build confidence and make interactions feel more natural.3
• Practice starting conversations with strangers in low-risk situations where you are unlikely to see them again, to avoid jeopardizing chances with people important to you.3

Film yourself speaking as if keeping a private video diary, then watch the clips back to spot ways to improve your conversational flow.

One user found that practicing this for several weeks improved their ability to sustain conversations.

3 people, independently

Keep practicing dialogue even if it feels clumsy at first, since it tends to become simpler with time.

Similar to other skills, repeated effort leads to improvement, despite early mistakes.

4 people, independently

Start with small steps, such as saying hi to strangers every day.

3 people, independently

Track your speaking duration to keep the dialogue balanced and ensure equal participation.

Tallying your talk time highlights the necessity for equilibrium.

3 people, independently

Develop real curiosity about others instead of relying solely on tactics to survive a chat.

Dialogue tends to flow naturally when there is genuine interest.

4 people, independently

Focus entirely on understanding the speaker rather than planning your next response.

Planning responses prevents genuine attention; being present makes people feel listened to.

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• Practice active listening by paying attention until the other person finishes speaking, then take a moment to think of a response.13

Read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' to learn basic conversational principles.

It covers the basics of socializing and has improved users' social skills and enjoyment of conversation.

3 people, independently

Tell others you need an extra minute to think things over before responding.

6 people, independently

• Pause for a moment to consider your reply; resist the urge to answer instantly.13

Focus on being present in the interaction instead of sticking to a rehearsed plan.

10 people, independently

• Stay present in the current moment and concentrate on the exchange.11

Focus on the energy or vibe you are projecting rather than worrying about the specific words you are saying.

6 people, independently

Keep initiating chats regularly to boost self-assurance.

Repeated practice tends to increase confidence.

4 people, independently

Begin interactions with basic pleasantries such as 'Hi' or 'How's it going?' instead of overthinking or using complex lines.

Research indicates this is among the most effective methods for initiating dialogue; adding complexity makes socializing harder.

3 people, independently

Take improv classes and attend Toastmasters meetings to improve your speech.

3 people, independently

Watch films, series, or online videos to observe how others maintain dialogue.

4 people, independently

Maintain eye contact and pay attention to your physical cues, such as your tone of voice and hand movements.

3 people, independently

Maintain eye contact, keep a small smile, uncross your arms, and lean slightly toward the person without being uncomfortable.

3 people, independently

Avoid looking at your phone or letting your attention drift away during interactions.

3 people, independently

Avoid dominating the chat with your own anecdotes or cutting in to relate your experiences while someone else is talking.

3 people, independently

State you have a boring desk job but immediately mention a fun weekend hobby to redirect interest.

3 people, independently

Record interesting thoughts and discussion points on your mobile device so you do not lose them.

4 people, independently

Start chats with easy queries on any topic, then keep the dialogue going with further inquiries and casual talk.

3 people, independently

• Mention any subject that pops into your head, regardless of how unusual it appears.3
• Ask about topics that actually interest you instead of throwing out random or meaningless queries.8
• Create a list of personal topics or stories you are comfortable discussing, such as hobbies or interests, to use in conversation.4
• Mention personal details that connect with others and inquire if they have similar interests.3
• Point out something interesting or unusual in your shared environment to start a conversation.9
• Use common topics such as weather, lifestyle, sports, animals, or immediate surroundings to make conversation.6

Participate in athletic teams, creative workshops, political groups, charitable organizations, or interest clubs.

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Include newcomers in the group by giving them immediate context about what is happening.

3 people, independently

Try using current events, media, or weather to kick off chats at any gathering.

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View videos about topics you enjoy to gather intriguing facts for use in dialogue.

3 people, independently

Practice free association by picking a random word and saying aloud the first word it reminds you of, then the next, without hesitation.

3 people, independently

Share personal stories that reveal things about yourself to generate great reactions.

5 people, independently

• Collect funny random anecdotes from your life and share them when you encounter similar situations later.3
• Share relatable anecdotes with interesting twists or punchlines to engage the other person.3

Notice what subjects others discuss and educate yourself on those topics.

3 people, independently

Do more activities together to see if it sparks conversation.

3 people, independently

Consider reading 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg.

5 people, independently

Use body language such as attentive listening, facial reactions, or light contact when suitable, if you lack words.

4 people, independently

Avoid starting casual conversations with people who seem focused on reading or listening to audio.

These actions often indicate that the person is busy or needs privacy.

4 people, independently

Watch for signs of disinterest such as busying hands, redirecting eyes, or turning the body away.

3 people, independently

Do not panic when there is a lull in conversation, as pauses are normal.

6 people, independently

If the other person does not seem interested in conversing, stop asking further questions and accept the silence.

5 people, independently

Respect personal boundaries. Avoid closing the distance or making abrupt moves so the other person feels at ease.

3 people, independently