Conversation starters
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
If a compliment on a shared interest gets no response, volunteer a personal perspective or story about that item to give them an easy hook to engage.
People may be in business mode or caught off guard; this gives them a second chance to warm up.
one person who lived it
If you want to meet people with multiple shared interests, wear clothing related to a different hobby than the one you are currently participating in.
It helps you connect with others who share more than one interest.
one person who lived it
Ask open-ended questions about topics like books, cars, movies, or music to find common ground with an older boss.
This helps get the ball rolling in conversation.
one person who lived it
Drop a random factoid from something you recently read into conversation; if challenged, say you were just thinking about it.
It usually starts a discussion.
one person who lived it
Inquire about what occupies someone's time rather than asking about their profession.
This question is less awkward for those without employment and typically generates more engaging responses.
3 people, independently
Replace direct questions with playful, outlandish guesses about the other person's background or interests.
Even if you are wrong, it intrigues the other person into explaining why you think that.
one person who lived it
If you have a complex history and want to avoid direct answers, jokingly claim to be in witness protection to prompt further questions.
It prompts more questions while avoiding a direct answer.
one person who lived it
Redirect intrusive questions about your work by turning the conversation around to ask the questioner about their own job experiences.
People love to talk about themselves.
one person who lived it
When someone comments on the heat, ask if it is the hottest weather they have ever experienced to prompt a story about hotter conditions.
The answer is typically no, leading them to share details about past hotter weather.
one person who lived it
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Initiate conversations by sharing mundane daily details, such as what happened that morning or something funny seen recently.
Very soon, there will be new topics of discussion which you wouldn't even have dreamt of.
one person who lived it
Ask what is occupying their time lately so they can discuss topics that engage them.
4 people, independently
When asked where you are from, choose the answer that provides pleasant conversational anecdotes rather than a strictly factual one.
It supplies better conversation material.
one person who lived it
Justify why you are asking a question to eliminate awkwardness.
Providing justification reduces the 'weird level' to zero.
one person who lived it
If you are considering getting a dog but do not have one yet, visit a dog park and explain to owners that you are observing breed interactions to find a temperament that fits your lifestyle.
one person who lived it