Emotional intelligence

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

  1. Answer criticism with a calm or positive tone instead of anger or excuses.

    Anger and excuses tend to make things worse, while a gentle reply can defuse tension.

    • Some view responding politely even when wrong as being a pushover.

    4 people, independently

  2. Treat people kindly without seeking a reward or needing a reason.

    Genuine kindness is not driven by an attempt to gain something from the act.

    4 people, independently

  3. Admit when you are wrong or have made a mistake.

    People generally like those who do so, and it can counterintuitively increase respect for your opinions and trustworthiness.

    • Some people may view you as naive.
    • You may experience people exploiting your admissions or apologies.

    3 people, independently

  4. Confidently state 'I don't know' or 'I'm not familiar with that' when you lack knowledge.

    • Following up with 'but I'm finding out' may still sound pretentious to some.

    13 people, independently

4 more on this
  1. When at fault, own the mistake instead of shifting blame or offering excuses.

    3 people, independently

  2. Learn to say no to requests for help and enforce boundaries to avoid being taken advantage of, even if you are known as a helper.

    3 people, independently

  3. Apply Hanlon's Razor: assume ignorance or carelessness rather than malice when explaining behavior, particularly during initial encounters.

    6 people, independently

  4. Acknowledge mistakes to reduce the likelihood of repeating them, as failing to acknowledge and learn from errors dooms one to repeat them.

    3 people, independently

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