Etiquette

Do not ask for permission to smoke in someone else's car unless you know the owner smokes in their vehicle.

Asking puts the owner on the spot.

• One non-smoker stated they do not care if someone smokes in their car as long as ashes are disposed of outside.

one person who lived it

• Ask permission before smoking a cigarette in someone else's presence or car.1

Be polite and deferential to bouncers and police.

They tend to mirror the respect shown to them.

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Keep your gaze on your destination instead of staring at nearby people to move through crowds more easily.

Focusing on where you are headed rather than what is directly ahead can help others part around you.

4 people, independently

• Say 'excuse me' repeatedly and gently touch shoulders to navigate crowds politely.1

Do not wear perfume if you have not washed or changed clothes recently, as you may not smell your own body odor.

You might think you smell fine because you cannot smell yourself, but others will notice quickly.

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Ask arriving travelers to meet you at the Departures level instead of Arrivals, provided local airport rules allow it.

Traffic is lighter and moves faster there, with fewer people and cars.

• Some airports (e.g., Nashville) may issue tickets for this practice.
• Some airports (e.g., Atlanta) have side-by-side terminals where this is not feasible.

5 people, independently

• Have passengers meet you outside the departures area instead of at arrivals to reduce traffic and police harassment.1

Spray one or two sprays of perfume directly onto your skin under your clothes.

This allows the scent to retain in the skin's pores for a gentle release throughout the day.

2 people, independently

• Mist perfume into the air before you, let it settle, then step through the cloud to apply it.5

Allow others to light their cigarettes first. Keeping the lighter in your hand ensures you can retrieve it immediately after they are done.

This ensures you get the lighter back because they see you still need a light; it also prevents accidental pocketing.

6 people, independently

Look toward the side you intend to pass on.

People are good at reading this cue even if unconsciously.

• Fails if the other person is not looking at you.

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Look about two meters in front of yourself to avoid tripping.

to avoid tripping

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Assume others will notice if your clothing is see-through.

People are more observant than you think; do not assume they won't look.

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Handle restroom needs before rejoining a long call to avoid losing your place in the queue.

Leaving the line forces you to start over and wait again.

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Bake brownies or cookies before a date arrives to make your home smell appealing.

Real estate agents use this technique to help buyers feel at home.

• This will not cover up strong odors like cat urine.

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Ask someone if they would like to go first if you wish to avoid sharing the elevator with them.

It is polite but signals that you want to maintain social distance.

• During rush hour, you may end up waiting forever.

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Mention your destination or flight details to airport staff like bartenders if you lose belongings.

Staff can use flight information boards to narrow down the search.

• Volunteering travel plans to random staff is not advisable in many countries.

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Hide candy around the house or yard for children to find like an Easter egg hunt if they cannot go door-to-door.

It allows kids to dress up and get excited about finding good candy.

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Pay close attention to your surroundings and where you are going to avoid collisions.

Bad walking sums up to not paying attention.

2 people, independently

Do not open your door to strangers, as the worst-case scenario (murder) outweighs the best case (sales pitch).

Neither outcome is worth satisfying curiosity.

• Another source advises opening the door and saying a friendly hello.

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If holding a door for an older person who is far away, wait inside looking at your phone until they are close enough.

Idle phone scrolling makes waiting seem like no bother.

• Some find employing fake phone scrolling to navigate this situation inherently dumbass-ey.

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Rub unscented lotion on your skin before applying perfume or cologne to make the scent last longer.

It makes the scent last longer.

• Some argue perfumes are meant to break down and blend with natural scent, not last longer.

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Step to the side of the altar before saying 'you may now kiss the bride' if you are officiating.

Having another person's face in the first kiss photo can be awkward.

• One person stated it did not bother them to have the judge's face in their wedding photo.

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If you struggle with leaving a group, try walking backwards slowly away from them until you are out of sight.

One person reported this allows them to reach their car before people notice they have left.

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Do not start a new topic when someone indicates they need to leave.

Starting a new topic can trap people in the doorway for extended periods.

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Wear disposable nitrile gloves while holding cigarettes; pinch the butt in your gloved fingers, flip the glove inside out to trap it, and discard.

This isolates the smell from your hands and trash receptacles.

• Does not prevent smoke odor on clothes or breath.

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Be polite to frontline airline staff, as they are not responsible for corporate policies.

It is not their fault.

• One perspective suggests you are entitled to be hostile to company representatives if the airline overbooked your flight, though threatening behavior should be avoided.

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Only point out holes in clothing if the person can quickly cover or fix them.

If they cannot change soon, telling them is unhelpful; if they can grab a jacket, it is useful.

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Shop at unusual times, such as 10pm on a Wednesday.

To avoid awkward encounters with people you know or co-workers.

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Stand back from the elevator doors before entering to allow people inside to exit first.

Standing directly in front blocks people from exiting; stepping aside creates space for new riders.

• Behavior varies by location; one user noted that in Mexico, people may push their way out regardless.

6 people, independently

• Allow others to enter the elevator before you do when leaving an office.1

Drive separately to family events so each person can leave when they are ready.

This allows one person to leave when ready while the other stays as long as they want.

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Accept that some people may not understand Halloween traditions if they are new to the area or culture.

In places where it is not an established tradition, people do not know what they are doing.

• Applies to areas where trick-or-treating is just starting or not established.

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Wear little to no perfume or cologne when working in an office shared with others.

Coworkers may have allergies or sensitivities to fragrances, and some offices have policies against them.

4 people, independently

When guiding paramedics to a patient, open the door and step aside to let them hold it themselves rather than holding it for them.

Holding the door can block their access to the patient.

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If you use a manual wheelchair, politely decline offers to hold doors and open them yourself to maintain control and safety.

People may inadvertently block your path or endanger your toes.

• Some people may insist or get offended despite your request.

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Avoid trying to hide odors with perfume, cologne, patchouli, or makeup, as people can detect these attempts.

People know real humans do not smell like those products alone, so the attempt is obvious.

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Invest in high-quality dress shoes, as they are versatile for many occasions and prevent discomfort during long standing periods.

Tennis shoes aren't going to cut it for almost anything now, and wearing poor quality shoes for an hour will cause regret.

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If involuntarily bumped from a flight, claim compensation, which is typically double the fare if the delay exceeds two hours.

You are entitled to this compensation for involuntary non-boarding.

• Considerations apply if the flight was critical for events like a funeral and no other options existed.

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At a classical concert, wait for others to start applauding and then join in half a second later to avoid premature clapping.

It is safer to follow the crowd.

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If you have a tight connection, such as a 40-minute layover requiring a terminal change, focus on exiting the plane quickly.

You need to get off ASAP to make your connection.

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Wear a high-visibility vest and hard hat while carrying a clipboard to blend into public spaces without being bothered.

People see you but ignore you because high-vis gear is so common that the mind filters it out.

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Keep doors open for people approaching from behind or beside you, no matter their gender.

It reflects basic politeness and good character.

• If someone takes offense, consider it their problem.

3 people, independently

Wear socks when flying.

No one wants to see smelly feet.

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Avoid waking others up in the morning.

Most people do not like being woken up.

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Avoid going to haunted houses on Friday the 13th.

The line is guaranteed to be long.

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At concerts, hold a beer cup high and say 'excuse me' to part the crowd and move to the front.

People fear spilling on themselves or assume you are returning to friends.

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Mind your bags to avoid nudging others when turning or stepping.

Backpacks and shoulder bags take up extra space and can hit others on the spin.

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If you must stop to check directions or decide where to go, move completely out of the main flow of traffic.

Stopping in the flow builds up a logjam behind you.

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Keep a versatile all-black or dark formal outfit that can also be used for job interviews or dinner parties.

It is really versatile and can save you many times by being suitable for multiple events.

2 people, independently

Do not use aftershave to mask body odor.

Using it for this purpose is considered using it wrong.

one person who lived it

Do not attempt to help employees clean up spills in commercial establishments; get out of their way so they can work efficiently.

Attempting to help can get in the way of more efficient cleaning and may waste supplies like napkins.

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If an employee lets you go first, simply thank them and proceed immediately.

It saves time for both parties and may prevent the employee from being reprimanded for cutting off customers.

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Do not touch props or actors in haunted houses unless explicitly permitted, as it makes you a liability.

Such behavior is a hassle and can get your whole group thrown out.

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Take your time at the front of a line to avoid dropping items or fumbling, as saving seconds is not worth the increased error rate.

Rushing drastically increases the rate of dropping or fumbling.

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If you witness a crime, note the shoes the person is wearing, as they are less likely to change them than their clothes.

Criminals often change clothes to alter their appearance but rarely change shoes during this process.

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Park in short-term parking and wait inside the terminal with a laptop until the flight arrives.

One person found this keeps them comfortable, prevents boredom, and allows them to help with baggage immediately upon arrival.

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Accept that crying babies on planes are unavoidable and focus on personal coping mechanisms rather than intervening.

Passengers cannot stop the plane or remove the child, and offering items like pacifiers to strangers' children can be perceived as creepy.

• Reflects one parent's perspective on safety and social norms.

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Sit down in an empty seat on public transit instead of standing in front of it to save it.

Standing takes up more space than sitting, and saving a seat isn't helping anyone.

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Apply fragrance around your ears when attending loud events so it is detected only when people lean in to hear you.

High volume requires leaning in to talk, and strong scents can be annoying or have poor longevity in other areas.

• Strong whiffs of cologne can be annoying.
• Fragrance may not last long or project well from the ears.

one person who lived it

Use brightly colored or novelty lighters to deter theft.

People are less likely to steal lighters that look unattractive or distinctive, such as hot pink ones or those with crude drawings.

2 people, independently

Do not hold the door if badge access is required.

It may violate security protocols.

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Avoid exaggerated displays of respect or chivalry when holding doors for older people.

It can make them feel old.

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Bring a surge protector with multiple outlets to share charging capacity with others.

It allows you to charge multiple devices when outlets are scarce.

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Skip houses with porch lights turned off; an on light indicates trick-or-treaters are welcome.

It avoids wasting time at houses that do not want visitors.

2 people, independently

Say 'On your left' when overtaking someone.

It works wonders.

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Slow down your pace if someone is at a borderline distance behind you.

It avoids the impression that you were trying to be uncourteous.

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Wear cargo shorts with zippered pockets to amusement parks.

You avoid paid lockers and prevent items from falling out on rides.

• Some locations allow leaving bags next to the ride instead of using lockers.

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Pick a direction, look that way, and move with confidence to avoid confusion.

Confidence in your direction fills the room and makes you predictable.

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Do not smoke in a car when riding with non-smokers.

It is common courtesy; in a confined space like a car, others cannot leave the vicinity of secondhand smoke.

2 people, independently

Do not display fake taxi signs to use taxi lanes, as this can result in fines or impoundment.

You may be ticketed, fined, or have your car impounded for being an unauthorized taxi.

one person who lived it

Plan to arrive at the airport early and leave home even earlier to ensure you do not miss your flight.

Rescheduling does not guarantee a convenient new time.

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Expect tables to remain cluttered for long periods in busy bars, particularly those with outdoor smoking areas where crowds gather outside.

Bussing may be infrequent in these environments.

• Specifically noted as common in California due to indoor smoking bans crowding people outside.

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Let the person entering a room greet those already present.

It is more practical.

2 people, independently

Perform a stutter step by pretending to step forward but leaving a foot behind.

It forces the person behind to stop.

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Adopt a look of urgency, such as appearing to need the bathroom, to prompt faster service.

It helps get served faster.

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Do not claim to know the owner or manager to gain entry or avoid ejection.

Staff are trained to dismiss such claims, noting that everyone says they know the owner.

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Maintain your course without changing your mind when navigating past someone; use peripheral vision to halt first if a collision is imminent so they bump into you and walk around.

They want to avoid bumping into you and will walk around you instead.

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Avoid stopping at the top of stairs or at the entrances to travel corridors like escalators and metro doors.

These are preventable injuries.

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Move efficiently when deplaning if you are not in a hurry, as slow movement blocks the aisle.

Slow movers are the problem, not those in a hurry; taking too long makes others feel rushed.

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Hand out candy alone if you have no other plans; avoid asking weird questions or making dodgy comments.

No one will question why a single man is answering the door unless he acts strangely.

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Be mindful of how much aftershave or cologne you apply, especially if you live alone.

You may become accustomed to your own strong scent and fail to realize how much you are using.

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Hand tiny objects with them resting in your open palm rather than pinched between your fingers.

Holding tiny objects like screws in your fingers often leads to dropping them.

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Do not lean out into the aisle to take photos during the ceremony.

It is rude and likely obstructs the professional photographer.

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Wear well fitting clothes.

makes a huge difference.

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Avoid hostile behavior toward haunted house actors to maintain the immersive experience for your group.

Hostile behavior pulls friends out of immersion and ruins the experience for them.

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Give candy to teenagers who trick-or-treat rather than turning them away.

They are likely engaging in a harmless activity, and you are only giving away candy, not valuables.

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Dress in generic, plain clothing (hat, shades, plain T-shirt, jeans, sneakers) to blend in and avoid recognition during daylight hours.

This is the most generic outfit ever.

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Be wary of strangers who tell long stories before asking for help, as this is often a tactic to create a sense of obligation.

People wanting directions are usually upfront; longer stories suggest an attempt to manipulate feelings.

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Defuse potential awkwardness or offense when holding doors by using humor, such as bowing and waving people through like royalty.

The absurdity causes almost everyone to laugh.

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Ask politely if you may pass when someone is blocking your way.

The other person usually agrees and moves aside.

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Bring an empty reusable water bottle through security and fill it at terminal fountains instead of buying expensive bottled water.

It saves money compared to purchasing airport water.

2 people, independently

Carry an oversized novelty lighter that is too large to easily pocket.

Its size makes it difficult for someone to hide in their pocket unnoticed.

one person who lived it

Watch for hints that you are overstaying your welcome and leave promptly if they appear, even if they do not explicitly say it.

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Do not fill out another person's immigration form for them.

it is illegal and flight attendants may intervene

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Avoid wearing cologne or perfume for several days before a job interview.

Hiring managers may reject candidates due to dislike of the scent or fear of office odor, whereas no one hires based on scent preference.

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Remove hats and glasses before riding roller coasters.

To prevent losing them.

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When navigating crowded spaces like concerts, hold your ground firmly if you arrived first.

Others may try to push past you, but they generally don't want an altercation.

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Bring comfort items like magazines, nail polish, or easy reading books to someone in distress.

They provide an escape.

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Keep a safe following distance and identify escape routes while driving, assuming the worst about other drivers.

Sharing the road isn't a trust exercise; being ready to adapt protects you from hazardous drivers.

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Wait until you have landed and arrived safely at the gate before asking for someone's contact information.

Following FAA rules ensures safety; distracting controllers while working ruins chances with the other person.

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Consider buying men's jeans instead of women's jeans if you prefer pockets.

Men's jeans often fit well and provide better pocket functionality.

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Apply less perfume than you think you need.

Underwhelming is better than overwhelming.

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Create and share a custom, annotated map for guests that highlights safe parking spots, smoking areas, and local landmarks.

Standard maps may not indicate specific local constraints like difficult parking or designated smoking zones.

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Avoid stopping in doorways, stairwells, or other narrow pedestrian choke points.

It prevents jostling and improves foot traffic flow.

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Wear a vibrant 'Where's Waldo' shirt to increase the chance of being featured on a jumbotron at large sporting events.

Camera operators are likely to be drawn to the distinctive pattern.

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Limit application to one spray for most fragrances, as many modern scents are potent enough that a single spritz is enough.

4 people, independently

Focus on smelling like clean laundry over wearing strong cologne.

The scent of cleanliness is often considered more attractive and signals responsibility.

2 people, independently

Cite a simple, everyday duty—like feeding animals or preparing a meal—as a reason to exit.

People typically allow me to leave immediately.

3 people, independently

State your needs verbally immediately upon entering a shared space, rather than waiting silently for others to notice you.

People cannot read minds, and standing silently is perceived as weird while telling them to move later is rude.

one person who lived it

Ask permission before unplugging or using communal items belonging to others.

A little communication would have gone a long way, and items were not yours to unplug without asking.

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Be prepared to wait longer than expected at baggage claim if carousels break down and queues are shuffled.

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Prepare ahead of time by charging devices or bringing tissues to avoid inconveniencing others.

This prevents you from having to take up shared resources.

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Wait for an invitation before entering someone's personal space.

Entering without permission can come off as creepy.

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Be aware that short-term stay agreements can extend indefinitely if boundaries are not enforced.

• One person reported guests staying seven months after promising to stay only one month.

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Verify if an item on AliExpress is the original design or a copycat, as sellers often steal photos and designs from independent creators on Etsy.

AliExpress sellers use stolen photos to pretend products are theirs, while companies like Wish rip off independent designers.

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Stand on the side designated for standing in your location (typically right in the US/UK, left in Australia/Japan) to allow others to walk past.

• Some argue that having everyone stand causes equal slowness and overcrowding.

4 people, independently

Carry a black pen when traveling internationally to fill out customs or immigration forms on the plane.

planes often do not provide pens, and some border officials require black ink specifically

• one person was made to refill a form after using blue ink

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Be aware that mixing many different fragrances in enclosed spaces creates an unpleasant odor.

Mixing numerous brands together can result in a smell worse than a compost heap.

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Avoid wearing perfume or cologne entirely when visiting hospitals.

Many patients are sensitive to scents.

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Consume or dispose of fruits containing seeds before entering certain countries to avoid confiscation or fines.

Fear of contamination of local agriculture can lead to confiscation or heavy fines.

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Overdress rather than underdress when unsure of the dress code.

Nobody gets denied entry for overdressing, and it is less embarrassing than underdressing.

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Pre-sort all items like laptops, phones, and shoes into separate bins before reaching security to make the interaction quick and painless.

Security agents may try to irritate travelers to spot smugglers; being prepared avoids this.

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Knock and wait for permission before entering closed rooms, especially bedrooms or bathrooms.

It avoids awkward moments and respects boundaries.

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Inform the server in advance if you require separate checks.

3 people, independently

Bring a book, phone, or laptop to occupy yourself and signal comfort with solitude.

3 people, independently

Commit to one direction immediately instead of sidestepping back and forth.

Avoids the awkward 'dance'.

one person who lived it

Ensure decorations clearly indicate participation in Halloween to avoid confusing trick-or-treaters.

People may look out windows with hurt expressions if they cannot tell if you are participating.

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Be mindful of noise levels, such as slamming doors, to avoid disturbing others.

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Check the weather forecast before packing for a trip to determine if you need heavier clothing.

Social media images often focus on aesthetics over practicality and accurate weather conditions.

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Note that some dormitory elevators automatically reset all selected floor buttons if no one exits for three consecutive floors.

• Specific to the narrator's freshman year dorm; referred to as anti-christmas tree technology.

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Keep walking without hesitating or lingering once you have stated you are leaving.

3 people, independently

Focus on your immediate family's needs over the expectations of friends or coworkers, even if it means sacrificing personal comfort.

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Wear slippers or designated indoor footwear instead of going barefoot for comfort and hygiene.

3 people, independently

Rotate your scents regularly to prevent your nose from becoming accustomed to one particular fragrance.

3 people, independently

Introduce yourself immediately when you see a friend with someone you haven't met, rather than waiting for them to do it.

Failing to do so may come off as rude, and friends often fail to make introductions.

5 people, independently

• Introduce people who do not know each other to avoid awkwardness.1
• Use the phrase 'I don't believe we've met' or mention you have seen someone around to introduce yourself without awkwardness.2

Listen to three points from others before contributing one of your own.

It helps you pause and listen more rather than rushing to respond.

one person who lived it

Message friends after meeting up if it feels natural and you had a great time; otherwise, skip it to avoid sending the wrong signal.

It is nice and attentive.

• May send a romantic signal if not done naturally
• Only do this if you had the time of your life

one person who lived it

Stop initiating greetings if the other person consistently fails to reciprocate.

Putting in effort should be mutual; lack of response indicates they do not want to engage.

6 people, independently

Use a simple, direct introduction line like 'Hi, my name is [Name], what's yours?' to break the ice.

One person reported a high success rate with this approach.

2 people, independently

Before commenting on an appearance issue, ask yourself if the person can fix it within 10 seconds; if not, stay silent.

People will like you more if you keep your mouth shut about unfixable issues.

one person who lived it

• Only comment on someone's appearance if they can fix the issue immediately.2
• Mention visible issues to others only if they can be fixed easily; otherwise, say nothing.1

Show excitement when seeing someone, as they will likely match your energy.

People match the energy 95% of the time.

one person who lived it

If a conversation partner avoids eye contact, also avoid looking at them to make them more comfortable.

They may be shy, awkward, or have ASD; avoiding eye contact can help them feel at ease.

• They might not be engaged in listening.
• They might be lying.

one person who lived it

• Recognize that avoiding eye contact or ignoring someone may stem from a lack of closeness or fear that a casual chat would be weird.1
• If maintaining strong eye contact is difficult, glance away occasionally during conversation to keep the other person at ease.4

Pick your nose or curl your finger into an O and furiously tongue it while staring back.

One person reported doing this.

• Based on one person's anecdote.

one person who lived it

If you misinterpret a hug at a social event, laugh it off to diffuse the tension.

It is a minor mistake that will not matter in three months.

one person who lived it

• If a greeting interaction feels clumsy or you miss a high five, chuckle or laugh it off.1
• Do not apologize for minor social mistakes like an awkward hug, as highlighting the incident draws more attention and appears weirder than the act itself.1

Say 'Whoa, you alright?' if you stumble in public.

It tends to make people smile and makes you feel less embarrassed.

one person who lived it

Ask a socially skilled friend for advice on improving your own skills.

They may be glad to help.

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Greet everyone with 'It's nice to see you' instead of 'It's nice to meet you'.

It avoids awkwardness if you have met before.

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Own your blunt statements directly instead of prefacing them with phrases like 'Not to be rude but...'.

Saying 'hate to come off as rude' does not mean you are not being rude.

one person who lived it

Do not show too much emotion or be too nice with managers.

They are not friends and may manipulate it.

one person who lived it

Do not ask short people how short they are or comment on their height.

Strangers often make unwanted comments about being cute or short, which invites unnecessary curiosity.

2 people, independently

• Avoid remarking on a person's height if they are notably taller than most people.4

Ignore the question 'Have you guys met?' and simply shake hands and say 'Hey, how are you?' to let the other person clarify.

It serves as quick misdirection and sidesteps the question.

one person who lived it

Refrain from commenting on a person's most obvious physical traits, such as height, size, braces, or glasses, especially when meeting them for the first time.

People are already aware of these noticeable features and are likely tired of having them pointed out.

7 people, independently

• When meeting someone for the first time, refrain from commenting on obvious aspects of their name or appearance.1
• Avoid commenting on obvious physical traits or embarrassing past events, such as scars or humiliating videos.1
• Refrain from commenting on other people's physical appearance, including weight, even if they appear thin.5

Compliment achievements in weight loss but do not ask how much further the person has to go.

Asking how much more needs to be lost is unpleasant to hear.

one person who lived it

• Compliment people by saying they look 'healthier' or 'happier,' or simply that they look 'great,' rather than mentioning specific weight changes.4

Seek out other people who are sitting alone to sit with them.

This makes it more likely for additional people to join the group.

one person who lived it

Start by accepting small favors to build trust and test relationships.

Small favors serve as a relationship building and testing tool.

• Only exchange bigger favors if the initial small exchanges are successful.

one person who lived it

Do not get annoyed if someone fails to say 'you're welcome' after you thank them.

Getting annoyed is considered more rude than the lack of response.

2 people, independently

Slow down your texting frequency if someone does not reply after you have started a conversation a few times.

Lack of reply indicates you should slow down.

one person who lived it

Frame initiating greetings as a personal challenge where you win by saying hi first.

It is a small challenge with yourself that has a big impact.

one person who lived it

Pick a direction and look past oncoming people rather than making eye contact to avoid signaling an intent to engage or causing a collision.

Looking into another person's eyes signals a desire to move toward them, which can trigger a game of chicken.

5 people, independently

• Look far ahead to center yourself on the path and avoid staring at people.1
• Direct your eyes to a spot just ahead and beside the person you are walking past to sidestep direct gaze without appearing strange.3
• Direct your gaze toward your intended path instead of making eye contact when approaching another person.6

Do whatever feels natural and don't psych yourself out about the interaction.

It is all in your head.

2 people, independently

Reframe sitting alone as a 'power move' or an act of leadership.

Being the first to join or standing alone confidently is viewed as a form of leadership.

one person who lived it

Tell two friends that the other is keen to meet them to boost confidence and help with a positive introduction.

Believing someone will like you allows you to behave confidently and be yourself without trying to impress.

• This approach is described as manipulative, though in a 'chaotic good' way.

one person who lived it

Gently tell a nail-biting coworker that you dislike the habit; one person reported doing it way less afterward as a wake-up call.

It serves as a wake-up call for those who don't notice they are doing it.

one person who lived it

Embrace the awkwardness of repeated encounters rather than trying to hide it.

In one person's experience, this makes things less awkward.

one person who lived it

Fix your gaze firmly on the path you plan to take; your body language will communicate your direction, leading the other person to naturally step aside.

People observe your eyes to determine where you are heading.

• Does not work if the other person is looking at their phone or is distracted.
• Only works if you are the only two people walking in the area.

5 people, independently

Listen actively by making eye contact and using verbal or non-verbal cues like nodding to show you are listening.

This demonstrates charisma and helps you be liked among peers.

3 people, independently

Do not comment on genetic features like dark circles under the eyes.

The person cannot change them and will feel self-conscious.

one person who lived it

Kneel down to a child's eye level, give a high five or pat on the back, and use funny goodbyes or references to shared activities.

Make them feel important.

one person who lived it

Use a generic greeting like 'Hi, how are you?' or 'Hey, what's up?' when unsure if you have met someone before.

It works for both scenarios of knowing or not knowing the person.

2 people, independently

• Break long-standing silences with acquaintances by simply stating that you see them every day and wanted to say hi.1

Avoid leaning in and excessive public displays of affection for a few weeks to allow the other person to calm down and rebuild comfort.

This allows time for them to calm down so you can eventually talk about regular topics and rebuild their comfort with you.

one person who lived it

Have full conversations with children, listening and responding as you would to an adult, to treat them with respect.

It treats them with respect.

one person who lived it

If you realize you are staring, hold your head steady and direct your gaze to an object directly behind the person, then naturally look away after a moment.

They will assume you were looking at the other object.

• Turning your head away immediately is more likely to arouse suspicion.
• One person reported failing to time it properly and ending up looking directly into an older man's eyes.

3 people, independently

• Cross your eyes when someone is staring at you to make them look away.1
• To test if someone is staring at you, stare intently at something outside their field of vision (like your shoes) or pretend to notice something behind them; if they follow your gaze, they were likely sizing you up.2
• Find something on your eye level that is not a person and focus on it to avoid awkwardness.1

Address behavioral issues privately, one-on-one, to avoid embarrassing the person in front of others.

Public embarrassment can be the 'nail in the coffin' for some people.

3 people, independently

Look away until an approaching person is about 3 meters away, then make eye contact for 2 seconds as a safety measure.

It is a safety measure.

one person who lived it

Carry gum and a lighter to social venues to help with conversations with strangers.

Smokers appreciate offers of a light, and people generally love being offered gum.

• Some people dislike the smell of cigarettes and avoid smokers.
• In some locations, offering a light to a stranger may lead to unwanted attention or harassment.

one person who lived it

Establish one go-to action so it is not a choice anymore.

You can build up confidence in that one action through repetition.

one person who lived it

Refrain from quoting movies or phrases associated with a person's name when you meet them.

In most cases, they have heard these references their entire life and find them annoying.

one person who lived it

Leave a conversation if the other person is multitasking, as this signals they probably do not want to talk.

There is no use wasting your time.

one person who lived it

Act as if you already know the person and express excitement about meeting them to make a memorable impression, though note that this involves lying.

Acting like they have been talked about makes you more memorable.

• This involves lying.
• A simple smile and compliment may also work.

one person who lived it

Be aware that waking others up, even slightly, can cause combative reactions because most people dislike being woken.

Most people don't like being woken up and are not at their best when awoken.

one person who lived it

Be mindful of where you are looking; avoid staring at mouths or eyebrows to fake eye contact.

It is evident when you look at someone's eyebrows or nose to avoid making eye contact.

one person who lived it

Interpret silence or lack of response to a remark as the intended answer.

Ignoring it is the response; non-response is better than a negative reply.

one person who lived it

Do not alter your natural behavior, such as avoiding eye contact or standing far away, solely because others might perceive you as scary.

You cannot control others' perceptions, and managing their fears by changing your behavior is not required.

• This reflects one person's perspective on being told they look scary.

one person who lived it

Let your smile form slowly over about five seconds.

It makes your jollity appear more genuine.

one person who lived it

Do not stress over concerns about rudeness when greeting people.

Most people do not care about rudeness.

one person who lived it

Initiate social contact by saying hello and asking for the person's name.

Showing up accounts for 80% of success.

one person who lived it

• say hi to everyone you interact with when entering a new environment.1

Lead through dense crowds by ensuring the person behind you holds onto you, while gently nudging others out of the way with a flat palm.

This method makes eye contact irrelevant.

one person who lived it

Ask permission before asking where someone is from by acknowledging their accent or background.

Most people won't say no.

one person who lived it

Give selfish people who do not understand boundaries the cold shoulder and focus on yourself.

They often will not understand until you do this.

one person who lived it

Be wary of colleagues who respond to help with 'ok, that's what I thought,' as it implies you did not help them.

It feels like they are saying they already knew the answer.

one person who lived it

Say 'please' and 'thank you' when asking for help.

It signals to the helper that you do not take their assistance for granted.

one person who lived it

Say hi to people when you see them.

Not saying hi can be taken as rude.

one person who lived it

Hold eye contact and flare your nostrils when someone looks at you.

At the very least, it may get a smile.

one person who lived it

Do not try to play off staring, as it will make you look like an idiot.

Trying to play it off makes you look foolish.

one person who lived it

If you are good friends, create a fun ritual or game to perform when approaching each other from a distance.

This makes the walk over less awkward.

one person who lived it

Give a small head inclination or nod to acknowledge someone who holds eye contact with you.

It signals 'yes, I see you'.

one person who lived it

Use polite phrases like 'Please', 'Thank you', and 'Have a nice day' with a smile towards wait staff and frontline service workers.

It goes a long way.

one person who lived it

Smile at people.

It is easier than other actions and costs nothing.

one person who lived it

Do not comment on someone's waist size or ask how big it is.

It is very annoying.

one person who lived it

Aim for chuckles rather than roaring laughter in your speech to avoid the risk of falling flat.

Trying too hard to be hilarious runs the risk of the speech falling flat.

one person who lived it

Introduce yourself first in group settings rather than waiting for others to approach you.

Silence can lead others to assume you are not well-liked; stating your name first is a standard way to learn someone else's name.

one person who lived it

Refrain from commenting on a woman's appearance or lack of makeup.

Such comments are often perceived as negative and can ruin her day.

2 people, independently

When someone says they couldn't have done something without you, split the credit by affirming their ability while acknowledging your help.

It is a win-win for social skills.

one person who lived it

Pretend you know the person and roll with a joke if you are unsure, such as claiming you went to school together.

It diverts attention.

one person who lived it

Politely confront people who encroach on your personal space.

Many people are unaware they are encroaching and do not mean to do so.

one person who lived it

Wait for someone to mention an obvious change in their appearance before commenting on it.

They already know what has happened to them.

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Apologize promptly.

It can save you a lot of wasted time.

one person who lived it

• Apologize once, fix any damage or costs, make a light joke about your behavior, and then act normally to avoid prolonging awkwardness.1

Accept that some people respond to thanks with brief acknowledgments like 'mhmm' or 'alright' out of habit or busyness, not malice.

They are probably very busy and using it as a means to end the conversation or get back to what they were doing.

one person who lived it

• Respond to thanks with 'you're welcome', 'no problem', 'no worries', 'of course', or 'happy to help' rather than remaining silent or saying 'mhmm'.1

Do not comment on the depth or shape of someone's belly button.

Such comments can come across as creepy.

one person who lived it

Replace one-word responses like 'What?' with polite clarifications such as 'Sorry, I didn't catch that.'

It is more classy.

one person who lived it

If you are concerned about someone's well-being due to their appearance, ask a genuine question like 'How are you feeling?' instead of commenting on their looks.

5 people, independently

If you are stuck in a standoff with someone approaching head-on, stop abruptly, stare straight ahead with no facial expression, and wait for them to decide.

Stopping forces the other person to make the decision on who moves.

one person who lived it

Pay attention when someone is speaking to you so they do not feel you do not care about them.

Failing to pay attention often makes the speaker feel like you do not care about them.

one person who lived it

Ask questions about the other person when conversation falls flat, since people love to talk about themselves.

People love to talk about themselves.

one person who lived it

Contact the people who saw you act poorly and apologize sincerely.

You must accept responsibility for the error and resolve the situation.

3 people, independently

Smile at others to share kindness, but be aware that whether you receive a smile back depends entirely on your location.

Receiving a smile can improve your mood; lack of response often reflects the other person's state rather than yours.

• In some cities, like New York, smiling at strangers may not be appropriate or reciprocated.

one person who lived it

Respond to thanks with whatever phrase makes you comfortable rather than adopting new lingo.

Trying to sound cool with new lingo can make you look weird.

one person who lived it

Use a greeting like 'how's it going' instead of just 'hello', as one person finds it nicer.

It is considered a nicer greeting than just hello.

one person who lived it

Watch Danny Kaye or Hollywood dancers from that era to learn when and how to use gestures naturally.

Their posture and manners are easy to imitate.

one person who lived it

Make small talk with someone who joins your table to help them feel comfortable.

It is considered common courtesy.

one person who lived it

Respond to small talk with casual phrases like 'Alright' or be a bit cringy to appear comfortable and human.

Being cringy shows that you're human.

one person who lived it

Initiate greetings with people you know even if they don't speak to you, to appear more friendly and approachable.

you'll look friendlier and more approachable

one person who lived it

• Say hi and goodbye when entering or leaving a space, and disengage from people who are not engaging in conversation.1
• Mirror the greeting style of the person you are meeting to help them feel comfortable.3
• Make eye contact, smile broadly, and say hi while still walking past an acquaintance to appear friendly without getting dragged into conversation.1

Recognize that if one influential person dislikes you, others may fall in line rather than forming a collective opinion.

One person with sway can poison the well for others to follow their lead.

one person who lived it

Recognize that subtle social cues may not be obvious to neurodivergent people.

For some neurodivergent people, such signs are not obvious.

one person who lived it

If someone responds to your thanks dismissively, move on rather than dwelling on it.

Their response reveals their character.

one person who lived it

Ask open-ended questions about the current environment or what someone does there to let them choose the topic.

It allows the other person to choose the topic of conversation.

one person who lived it

Precede difficult feedback by stating you are sharing it because you care, while acknowledging it may be upsetting.

The recipient would likely want to know the truth.

one person who lived it

Before acting or speaking, consider how your behavior will affect the other person.

This helps you avoid being creepy and allows you to lead with courtesy and genuineness.

2 people, independently

Engage your eyes when smiling so the expression looks sincere instead of stiff or unsettling.

A smile that only involves the mouth may appear forced or slightly creepy.

3 people, independently

Consider that people may ignore you because they are tired, unaware, or perceive you as busy.

Common reasons include not seeing or hearing you, appearing busy, or being tired.

one person who lived it

When someone shares fitness goals, ask about their specific objectives instead of saying they already look fine.

Saying they look fine dismisses their effort and is frustrating to hear.

one person who lived it

Treat 'how are you?' as a social greeting rather than a literal inquiry, responding with brief pleasantries unless the context signals genuine interest.

• In Europe, people may genuinely expect an answer to this question.

4 people, independently

Honest but subtly tell someone about visible boogers or bad breath, but avoid commenting on body odor.

Most appreciate honesty regarding minor fixes, but body odor comments can cause embarrassment for those who cannot help it.

• Be careful with body odor as some people cannot help it.

one person who lived it

Accept that social media makes it common for people to recognize each other online before meeting in person; roll with it and treat yourselves as known.

This happens frequently due to social media usage.

• It can be awkward.

one person who lived it

Keep a steady gaze straight ahead without yielding to side-stepping attempts from others.

Looking determined helps clear a path.

2 people, independently

Join groups or projects that force you out of your comfort zone to accelerate social skill development.

Constant spotlight or forced interaction doesn't leave time to retreat into your comfort zone.

one person who lived it

Stop associating with people who are constantly on their phones during face-to-face interactions.

People who care about you will reciprocate your efforts.

one person who lived it

Respect people's boundaries in public so as not to make them feel unwelcome or creeped out.

Not respecting boundaries is described as not okay.

one person who lived it

Consider overdressing in daily life to gain respect and better treatment from others, while being mindful of context and safety.

People often treat those dressed well with more respect, partly because the wearer holds themselves differently; this can lead to perks like comped drinks or direct attention from professionals.

• Overdressing for inappropriate settings (e.g., a beach wedding) can cause discomfort and mockery.
• In dangerous neighborhoods, visible wealth or accessories can make you a target for violence.

one person who lived it

Avoid initiating conversation when joining a stranger's table in public food courts or cafes; expect they may not want to chat.

Small talk can be draining for some people.

one person who lived it

Recognize that a lack of reciprocal greeting may indicate a one-sided relationship or lack of mutual interest.

If people consistently don't speak to you unless you speak first, they may rather not speak to you.

one person who lived it

Avoid telling people you dislike their social circle when leaving a situation.

Insulting people can provoke negative reactions, such as them needing to flex their dominance.

one person who lived it

Throw in occasional ways you relate to the other person while being curious about them.

It helps you be liked and avoids bringing weird vibes.

one person who lived it

To connect with outgoing people, learn their interests and listen when they talk about them.

One person reported asking a colleague about American football and listening, which led to being invited to join his table.

one person who lived it

Focus on being interested in the other person rather than worrying about what to say.

Letting interaction flow from interest works better than overthinking.

one person who lived it

• Approach conversations with genuine curiosity rather than faking happiness.1

Avoid staring at a woman you are meeting; instead, start light conversation about food or drinks.

Staring is perceived as awkward and immature.

one person who lived it

Be cautious with how you word compliments, as good intentions can still offend.

This is especially true if the recipient does not notice the trait being praised.

one person who lived it

If you are exhausted by small talk, pretend not to see acquaintances you do not know well.

Small talk is personally exhausting when tired.

one person who lived it

Greet fellow gym-goers or trainers to build confidence and community.

One person gained confidence when others began greeting them back.

one person who lived it

Be aware that smiling at strangers can be misinterpreted as flirting, potentially leading to unwanted advances.

Eye contact and smiling are often seen as signs of interest rather than general friendliness.

• This perception exists because some people misuse friendly gestures for predatory purposes.

2 people, independently

Bite your tongue and respond politely even when customers are mean, remembering they aren't mad at you.

They aren't mad at you

one person who lived it

Practice casual conversation starters, endings, and self-pitching skills if you lack campus-style social exposure.

These small talk and presentation skills are often missed if you do not naturally pick them up on campus.

one person who lived it

Be polite and avoid heavy joking or abusive language during first impressions.

First impressions matter; save heavier humor for after a bond is built.

one person who lived it

Ask for advice to engage people in conversation, as they often enjoy giving it.

People love giving advice.

one person who lived it

Ignore or walk away from strangers who are behaving poorly or aggressively rather than engaging with them.

Ignoring or muting toxic people is often the best option.

2 people, independently

Smile, look cheerful, and keep a clean appearance with a nice haircut to ensure positive first impressions.

First impressions count.

one person who lived it

Emulate characters from sitcoms or confident people to build social confidence.

One person reported this helped them gain confidence by faking it until they made it.

• This is one person's experience.

one person who lived it

If someone gives you a rude gesture like the finger, respond with a positive gesture like a thumbs up to confuse them and de-escalate.

The unexpected positive response confuses the aggressor.

• Thumbs up and other gestures have offensive meanings in some cultures, such as the UK or others where it means something vulgar.

one person who lived it

If you struggle with face blindness, greet everyone to avoid accidentally ignoring people you know.

It prevents offending acquaintances by 'blanking' them and makes you appear friendly if you do not know the person.

one person who lived it

Consider that a negative reaction to your smile might be unrelated to you.

The other person may have had a bad experience, such as burping up food, or saw something completely unrelated to you.

one person who lived it

Do not expect deep social interactions from strangers in transient public spaces, as these encounters are often too brief for more than inane small talk.

Most instances in places like dorms, elevators, or college streets are barely long enough for weather chat.

one person who lived it

Feel proud of yourself for attending a social event.

It is considered a big accomplishment.

one person who lived it

Use 'you're welcome' or 'you're very welcome' when speaking to older people to show respect.

They often perceive it as more respectful.

one person who lived it

Respond with a neutral acknowledgment like 'Okay' or 'I hope it goes well' when someone mentions a doctor's appointment.

Asking for details or saying 'I hope you're okay' can force them into an uncomfortable position or require them to clarify that everything is fine.

• Some argue against saying 'I hope you're okay' because it forces a denial if they are fine.

one person who lived it

Use simple introductions while maintaining relaxed body language, calm demeanor, clear speech, and eye contact.

The specific words matter less than appearing relaxed, calm, and clear with good body language.

2 people, independently

Approach people who are on their phones unless they appear stressed or typing fast.

Many people are open to chatting; however, stress or fast typing may indicate they are busy.

one person who lived it

Engage physically with the person's environment, such as tapping papers or placing hands on their desk, then offer a specific compliment.

This approach helps break their routine.

one person who lived it

Practice making eye contact regularly to build it into a default habit.

Regular practice can transform poor eye contact skills into automatic behavior.

• Over-practicing may lead to making too much eye contact, which can unsettle others

one person who lived it

Ask which direction the other person is heading before parting ways; if they are going the same way, walk together until your paths diverge.

This ensures you reach the proper location and avoids awkwardly dragging out the conversation.

one person who lived it

Own up to your embarrassing behavior publicly to take away others' power to judge you.

Casting light on the situation yourself disarms others.

one person who lived it

Do not ask questions in public if the answer would differ in private to avoid forcing someone into an awkward position.

It avoids offloading the burden of being difficult onto the other person.

one person who lived it

Focus on how you can like the people around you more, rather than thinking about not knowing anyone and wanting to leave.

one person who lived it

When meeting someone from a place known for something negative, do not make that topic the first thing you discuss.

It is annoying for both parties when the conversation focuses solely on that negative association.

one person who lived it

Maintain eye contact for a second and let the smile linger when acknowledging passersby.

Smiles are reflexive and will naturally linger after brief eye contact.

one person who lived it

Watch others carefully and mimic their behavior when appropriate to navigate awkward social situations.

It helps learn social cues when innate ability is lacking.

• Knowing 'when' is appropriate is difficult.

one person who lived it

Treat others how you would want to be treated by being nice and cool rather than weird or uncomfortable.

Being weird or uncomfortable makes others uncomfortable.

one person who lived it

Do not worry if you accidentally say 'you too' to a server or barista.

It is often seen as cute or sweet, staff are too busy to notice, and people appreciate the nice sentiment regardless.

one person who lived it

If you accidentally tell someone they look tired, apologize briefly for potentially being rude and ask if they are doing alright.

The other person may wave it off or share why they looked that way.

one person who lived it

• If you accidentally tell a new acquaintance they look tired, do not apologize or bring it up again.1
• Respond to 'you look tired' with 'thanks, you look great' to deflect the comment.1

Understand that people may ignore acquaintances in public because they prefer to complete their tasks without interruption.

Many people view activities like shopping as tasks to get over with quickly and prefer not to deal with socializing so they can go home.

one person who lived it

Greet people with zeal, warmth, eye contact, and a smile to encourage reciprocal recognition.

One person became well known in their department after adopting this behavior.

one person who lived it

Avoid making unsolicited comments on people's bodies entirely.

Such comments are often perceived as intrusive and disrespectful of bodily autonomy.

3 people, independently

Arrange independent transport to leave a social situation where you are being ignored.

It helps develop self-respect muscles.

one person who lived it

Give a quick goodbye to signal enjoyment and respect, avoiding the perception of unfriendliness or arrogance.

Leaving suddenly can make others feel unimportant or like they upset you; a quick goodbye shows you cared.

one person who lived it

When someone shares personal details you don't know about, respond with interest and ask how it happened.

People love a listener

one person who lived it

Try using 'Hey, what’s up' as a middle-ground greeting that serves as both a simple acknowledgement and a potential conversation starter.

One person found this phrase doubled as a greeting and an opener.

one person who lived it

Politely ask people playing loud media in public to turn off their screen or lower the brightness and volume immediately.

People often rely on others' fear of confrontation to continue annoying behavior.

one person who lived it

Swap spoken greetings for non-verbal signals like a nod, wave, or smile when you meet eyes.

4 people, independently

Signal casual friendliness through open, smiling clumsiness rather than trying to appear smooth.

This approach communicates that you are simply bad at socializing but trying to be friendly.

one person who lived it

Treat celebrities like ordinary people with a different job to respect their desire for normalcy.

Celebrities miss being able to do normal things like grocery shopping.

one person who lived it

Smile and wait for the other person to initiate the form of greeting.

This minimizes awkward situations by allowing the other person to choose the culturally appropriate method.

• Skip the smile if you are in Russia.

one person who lived it

Embrace or diffuse awkwardness on dates instead of escaping to your phone.

Awkwardness builds character.

one person who lived it

Attempt to thank someone even if you feel awkward, accepting that minor embarrassment is a manageable outcome.

The worst case is saying something awkward, which is not catastrophic; the best case is improving your social interaction skills.

one person who lived it

Learn and follow the polite public behavior customs of your home country and any countries you visit.

It takes minimal effort to avoid being rude.

one person who lived it

Observe how people signal they are unapproachable and read the room before initiating contact.

Nobody owes you a conversation.

2 people, independently

Choose conversation topics that the other person is enthusiastic about.

You will have better odds of having a fun and meaningful conversation.

one person who lived it

Use best judgment when interpreting social signals like looking during laughter.

Context varies vastly.

• Way too vague.

one person who lived it

Record yourself speaking to check for unintended tonal qualities, such as monotone delivery or sternness, that may come across as hostile.

You may perceive yourself as alright, but video reveals unapproachable demeanor or a voice that sounds done with life.

one person who lived it

Drop the subject or change topics when someone's replies become short and lack real input.

Short replies indicate they aren't interested in the subject.

one person who lived it

Focus on controlling how you carry yourself, since you cannot control how others view you.

one person who lived it

Interpret laughter during greetings as a sign of cheerfulness, nervousness, surprise, or friendliness rather than mockery.

People often laugh because they feel good about being greeted, are embarrassed, surprised, or caught off guard.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge small wins in managing social anxiety, like dining solo for the first time.

3 people, independently

Do not judge others' cleanliness standards as 'low class'; cleanliness preferences are personal.

Cleanliness != class.

one person who lived it

Pretend to look at a map or do something else while moving to a new seat to make the action less blatant if the person seems aggressive.

It reduces blattantness for aggressive or confrontational types.

one person who lived it

Push through embarrassment by spending lighthearted quality time with those involved.

Over time, the situation may become something to laugh about.

one person who lived it

Occasionally put away music or books to stay aware of your surroundings and open to spontaneous conversations.

It can lead to meeting interesting people.

one person who lived it

Break tension by using goofy greetings, such as finger guns or absurd variations of hello, especially when seeing someone repeatedly.

It can make people laugh.

one person who lived it

Show genuine interest in the mundane details of daily military life, such as food or location, rather than focusing on combat.

Genuine interest targets small details that give contextual basis for understanding day-to-day life.

one person who lived it

Take up knitting as a socially acceptable activity to avoid unwanted conversation.

It is viewed as a risk-free alternative where others are less likely to criticize you for not being present.

one person who lived it

Do not assume people must perform obvious physical cues like yawning or stretching to indicate they are tired.

People are not cartoons; they do not always signal tiredness explicitly.

one person who lived it

Respond to introductions by simply stating your own name rather than acknowledging obvious references to theirs.

This approach is often more appreciated and makes you appear more mature and likable.

one person who lived it

If you share an awkward look with someone you know in public, smile and then deliberately look away.

Highlighting the awkwardness by doubling down on it is one method of avoiding further awkwardness.

one person who lived it

Do not snap at friends who tease you about social mistakes; accept that everyone is adjusting to new behavioral norms.

Snapping leads to worse feelings, whereas accepting the mistake acknowledges that everyone is learning new mindless behaviors.

one person who lived it

Ask if someone has been working out instead of asking if they lost weight.

Asking about weight loss can make people feel insecure, whereas asking about exercise is less likely to trigger insecurity.

one person who lived it

If you do not wish to connect with someone initiating conversation, speak civilly but do not add personal details or ask follow-up questions.

Adding life experiences or further questions demonstrates a desire to connect.

one person who lived it

Avoid becoming someone who only says 'good morning' by engaging in small talk efforts when coworkers initiate chit-chat.

Attempting zero small talk efforts creates a negative impression.

one person who lived it

Raise your eyebrows briefly when recognizing someone you know.

It is a normal social signal for recognition.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge the awkwardness indirectly.

Both parties know it is awkward.

one person who lived it

When leaving an acquaintance in a public place like a store aisle, say 'maybe I'll see you in the next aisle' before departing.

It reduces awkwardness during future accidental encounters.

one person who lived it

Avoid telling people to 'smile' or 'cheer up' as conversation starters.

These phrases often come across as condescending.

one person who lived it

Avoid criticizing minor appearance issues in public settings.

One person reported that being interrupted by a relative to complain about bangs in their eyes during a presentation caused them distress and cut off their story.

one person who lived it

Describe how distracting noises affect your focus using 'I' statements instead of criticizing the person making them.

This allows the other person to hear your feelings rather than perceiving only criticism.

one person who lived it

Keep a calm demeanor and wait until you are close enough to another person before greeting them.

Not every moment needs meaning; staying cool allows for appropriate timing of interaction.

one person who lived it

Say 'happy to help' to acquaintances and coworkers.

It sounds cheerful and professional.

one person who lived it

Ensure compliments on appearance are sincere; do not offer false praise if the person does not actually look better.

They may have noticed they are not making progress and will recognize insincerity.

one person who lived it

Stop overanalyzing minor social interactions after they occur, as others likely did not notice or care.

People are usually wrapped up in their own thoughts and do not focus on small actions of others.

one person who lived it

Verbally acknowledge your delay when thanking someone late, such as by admitting you forgot.

Owning the gaffe prevents the situation from seeming super awkward.

one person who lived it

Do not assume bad behavior is due to cultural background; judge people on their actions.

one person who lived it

Treat veterans like regular people by continuing the existing conversation topic rather than making a big deal out of their service.

Asking about service can make veterans who haven't served feel illegitimate.

one person who lived it

Be polite and provide a brief explanation when unsure about social etiquette.

People will usually accept it.

one person who lived it

Take up social niceties at work to build relationships, as this leads to a better work environment, promotions, and opportunities.

Top performers typically work well with others; failing to play along can lead others to avoid you and management to view you negatively.

one person who lived it

Only compare someone to a celebrity if that person is universally considered attractive; otherwise, the association can be insulting.

• Comparisons to non-attractive or controversial figures can come off as insults.

3 people, independently

Act from good intentions in the moment without worrying about how your actions might be perceived by others.

If you act from a good place, the outcome is generally fine regardless of potential misinterpretations.

one person who lived it

Perform regular nice gestures to prevent arguments.

Like car maintenance, occasional kindness is cheaper and easier than dealing with conflict repairs.

one person who lived it

Forgive yourself for post-lockdown social awkwardness, recognizing it is a common adjustment period.

Everyone is likely to feel socially awkward due to the lack of socializing during lockdowns.

one person who lived it

Ensure your facial expressions match your eye contact; staring without emoting can appear creepy.

Staring without emoting contributes to the 'creepy factor'.

one person who lived it

Initiate brief greetings with acquaintances to keep lines of communication open, as they shut down if not regularly maintained.

Relationships are like muscles; if you don't regularly maintain them, they shut down completely.

one person who lived it

Thank service staff after interactions, recognizing that while some formal settings value silent service, many appreciate acknowledgment over being ignored.

Being thanked is polite and appreciated by servers compared to receiving a blank stare or silence.

• More formal establishments may prioritize silent and seamless service where you pretend the server isn't there.

one person who lived it

Approach people with the intent to make friends, recognizing that the issue is often having no apparent reason to befriend specific people.

one person who lived it

Admire veterans' status but respect their privacy by avoiding personal questions about their service.

Soldiers generally do not want to describe battle experiences or answer whether they killed anyone.

one person who lived it

Refrain from making sassy or accusatory jokes about someone's behavior or finances in public.

Such comments can imply negative judgments about their financial status or management skills and signal that you are acting out toward them.

one person who lived it

If someone has explicitly forgiven you after a conversation, accept their forgiveness and stop punishing yourself with guilt.

Humans are imperfect.

one person who lived it

Restart a stalled conversation by commenting on the shared situation, such as the event or the wait time.

The shared activity provides material that never feels forced.

one person who lived it

Use formal language instinctively in professional interactions.

It makes professional interactions easier.

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If you are internally socially awkward, maintain quiet politeness and small chit-chat without forcing interaction.

You can avoid appearing socially awkward by smiling and engaging lightly without pushing for deeper connection.

one person who lived it

Ask new colleagues about their company affiliation or position instead of assuming seniority.

This avoids situations where you might mistakenly talk to a higher-up incorrectly.

one person who lived it

Cut contact with friends who repeatedly comment on your appearance or food choices despite your discomfort, especially if they make derogatory remarks about body size.

Persistent negative commentary can cross boundaries and become harmful.

one person who lived it

Avoid knowingly making others uncomfortable without caring, as this indicates poor character.

Making someone uncomfortable knowingly and without care is described as a sign of an asshole.

one person who lived it

If repeated chance encounters with a stranger make you feel uncomfortable, it is acceptable to stop engaging and ignore them.

Ignoring the person may lead them to reciprocate the disengagement.

one person who lived it

Avoid fishing for compliments or making self-deprecating comments when meeting new people.

It creates awkwardness and leads others to withhold validation.

one person who lived it

Mirror the conversation style and formality level of the person you are interacting with rather than imposing your own.

4 people, independently

Say hello to people you consider part of your immediate community, such as neighbors or colleagues.

It demonstrates openness.

one person who lived it

Reframe annoying people as minor inconveniences like slow drivers, allowing you to move past them without anger.

one person who lived it

Treat people with unusual physical features as normal people by engaging them in regular conversation rather than staring.

one person who lived it

Hold eye contact and smile until you turn away when saying goodbye.

Turning away before finishing signals the interaction is over; holding contact encourages a reciprocal response.

one person who lived it

If you are unsure if a stranger's comment was directed at you, consider that it may have been intended for someone else nearby.

Situations are often simply miscommunications and misunderstandings.

one person who lived it

Approach customer service interactions as a collaborative effort to solve the problem together.

Neither party wants to be on the call, so cooperation makes sense.

one person who lived it

Avoid initiating conversations with people playing video games unless you can discuss the game itself.

People often become socially detached from their surroundings while gaming.

one person who lived it

Simply say 'hello' to coworkers to maintain basic social etiquette, as it is not a deep commitment.

It prevents appearing rude without requiring significant effort.

one person who lived it

• Nod or say 'hey' to acknowledge persistently greeting coworkers to keep interactions professional without engaging deeply.1

Be aware that sudden coldness from others may stem from misunderstandings, such as being mistaken for enjoying an altercation.

• Misinterpretations of your expressions can lead to hostility.

one person who lived it

Laugh immediately after answering, then say 'seriously' to create awkwardness that stops further questions.

It creates awkwardness that stops any further questions.

one person who lived it

Choose to demand that the world knows who you are rather than abandoning your cultural identity out of fear of inconveniencing others.

one person who lived it

Look for a new job opportunity if coworkers are unwelcoming and refuse to engage.

one person who lived it

Use specific time-based greetings like 'Have a good afternoon' instead of generic phrases.

People are more inclined to respond to specific greetings, especially if accompanied by brief conversation.

one person who lived it

If you interrupt someone, apologize and help them resume by repeating what they were saying.

3 people, independently

Do not blame a person for their opinion, recognizing that circumstances shape opinions rather than the people themselves.

one person who lived it

Keep email signatures and closings minimal, using simple sign-offs or just contact information.

Recipients often barely read emails and do not care about elaborate signatures or taglines.

one person who lived it

Avoid making eye contact with freeloading conversationalists while politely excusing yourself to attend to business.

Eye contact may draw you back into the conversation.

one person who lived it

One approach that helped: stop talking to or acknowledging the friend whose behavior makes you uncomfortable.

one person who lived it

Disregard others' judgments of minor personal habits like licking fingers after eating, focusing only on your own opinion of yourself.

one person who lived it

Compliment men on their appearance as well, including average-looking men, as they appreciate nice compliments too.

4 people, independently

Accept compliments or well-wishes with a simple 'thank you' or 'my pleasure' without overthinking the interaction.

3 people, independently

Initiate conversation with strangers by complimenting shared interests visible on their clothing, such as sports team shirts.

3 people, independently

Deliver truths in a socially calibrated way that avoids triggering defensiveness in the other person.

one person who lived it

To start interacting socially, try making eye contact, smiling, using a friendly greeting, asking a question, giving a compliment, or finding shared interests.

3 people, independently

Throw an object, such as a plastic chair, at fighting dogs to break their attention.

One person reported this broke up the fight and caused the dogs to go their own way.

one person who lived it

Do not flip a dog onto its back after holding its legs up.

This can cause injury to an already tense body.

one person who lived it

Stop petting a specific area if the dog flinches or jerks its head toward your hand.

These signs indicate that what you are doing may be hurting them.

one person who lived it

Crouch low to appear non-threatening and extend a hand; only pet if the dog comes to sniff you. If it does not come closer, do not approach.

If they don't come any closer, they are probably scared.

one person who lived it

Keep children away from large dogs that are bouncing, as they can easily knock a child over.

Large dogs can easily knock a child over if they bounce.

one person who lived it

Back off if the scruff behind the dog's neck starts to rise.

A rising scruff indicates the dog is getting nervous about your presence.

one person who lived it

Remain calm and do not panic when witnessing a dog fight.

Dogs feed off panic, which worsens the fight and increases the risk of you getting bitten.

one person who lived it

Avoid using retractable leashes in public areas with other dogs.

They reduce control and increase the risk of incidents, such as dogs darting into traffic or tangling around people.

2 people, independently

Leave wild or unfamiliar animals alone and teach children not to bother them.

Approaching or trying to interact with these animals causes many injuries and property damage.

• Unless you suspect it is a lost pet, do not get too close.

one person who lived it

Do not offer food or treats to another person's dog unless the owner explicitly allows it.

The dog might have allergies, epilepsy triggered by specific foods, treat-aggression, or strict training rules that could be disrupted.

5 people, independently

If you are teaching children not to pet service dogs, explain the dog's specific job to help them understand why.

Children seem more excited to hear the reason once the job is explained.

one person who lived it

Respect an owner's refusal to allow petting; do not chase or force interaction if they say no.

Some people who claim to love dogs will ignore refusals and chase the animal.

one person who lived it

• Accept 'no' gracefully when an owner declines your request to pet their dog.2

Instruct visitors to turn their backs to a dog that tends to jump.

The dog is less likely to jump at a back.

one person who lived it

Do not bring children to a dog park.

Excitable dogs combined with excitable, scared, or bored children can result in someone crying.

one person who lived it

Create a designated 'safe zone' where rough play is prohibited to allow dogs to escape escalation.

One person noted their smaller dog runs to this space when she has had enough.

one person who lived it

Introduce your dog to neighbors so they are familiar with them, reducing nervousness if the dog escapes.

The dog will be less nervous when approached by known neighbors.

one person who lived it

If you are nervous or agitated, remain calm and let a fearful dog check you out before interacting.

Dogs pick up on your fear, nervousness, or agitation.

one person who lived it

Ignore a jumping or nipping dog by turning away or walking past until it calms down.

3 people, independently

• Disengage from a dog exhibiting undesirable behavior by pretending it is not there until it settles down, then praise it.1

Avoid approaching or touching a dog from behind.

A dog may jump up and bark aggressively if approached from behind while staring at something else.

one person who lived it

Socialize dogs with people and other animals at a young age to prevent behavioral problems.

Waiting until bad habits form leads to much bigger problems.

one person who lived it

Greet a dog by extending your hand for it to sniff first, rather than reaching out to touch immediately.

Sniffing is basically like saying 'Hello'.

2 people, independently

Distinguish play from fighting by checking if dogs clamp down fully or back off when one submits.

Play involves growling and nipping without full clamping, and immediate backing off upon submission.

one person who lived it

Enroll dogs in basic obedience classes and ensure all household members agree on boundaries.

Knowing tricks like Sit or Roll Over does not constitute training if the dog jumps on strangers or ignores recall commands.

one person who lived it

Do not touch a dog in ways it does not enjoy, even if it does not react negatively.

A dog deserves respect regardless of whether it takes action against unwanted touch.

one person who lived it

Approach unaccompanied service dogs with caution and avoid grabbing their tags or vest.

Many vests are bought online without verification, and the dog may bite if handled aggressively.

one person who lived it

Understand that a dog's desire to be near its owner stems from thousands of years of breeding and conditioning that associate the owner with positive outcomes.

one person who lived it

Do not rely on verbal assurances like 'he's friendly' when encountering an off-leash dog; instead, demand the owner control their animal immediately.

Owners may stand uselessly during incidents despite claiming their dog is friendly.

one person who lived it

Look for signs of unavailability, such as earbuds, before initiating conversation with other dog walkers.

People may be on the phone or otherwise occupied.

one person who lived it

Request permission from afar and allow the dog to approach you instead of moving toward it right away.

4 people, independently

Be ready to manage the dog's behavior immediately after receiving permission, such as preventing jumping, to keep everyone grounded.

It helps prevent the owner from thinking the dog is freaking out and keeps everybody grounded.

one person who lived it

When giving a gift, do not expect anything in return.

Otherwise, it is not a gift.

one person who lived it

• Offer greetings or smiles without demanding reciprocation, accepting whatever response occurs.3

Record who gave you each gift, especially if you dislike it.

You will remember who gave it when asked for your opinion, and you will avoid re-gifting it back to the same person.

• Some believe you should just appreciate the gift regardless of whether you like it.
• Another approach is to explain that you don't really like it or have much use for it.

one person who lived it

Stock up on generic thank-you cards during sales or at estate sales.

They are so cheap.

2 people, independently

Send a brief email to service providers to acknowledge their help.

It can make a big difference in the recipient's life.

one person who lived it

Text the giver when you use the gift, even months or years later.

It brightens their day and makes them feel good.

2 people, independently

• Share specific details about how a gift solved a problem or improved a process.1

Stop keeping score of nice things done for each other in a relationship.

Keeping score leads to resentment and indicates deeper issues than the specific acts themselves.

one person who lived it

Avoid catching the bouquet or garter at weddings where you do not know the couple well.

It means more to the couple if someone they know well catches it.

• Some argue that if you are invited, you are invited to participate in festivities.
• Brides should cut people from their invite list if they would feel awkward about them catching the bouquet.

one person who lived it

Ask for cash instead of gift cards to avoid losing value on small remaining balances or shipping costs.

Spending a few remaining dollars often costs more in shipping than the balance is worth.

one person who lived it

Keep one or two small-denomination gift cards (e.g., $5) on hand to give as immediate thanks for helpful acts.

It serves as a quick, in-the-moment expression of gratitude.

one person who lived it

• Keep 'Thank You' cards on hand to give as small gestures of appreciation.1

When receiving a gift, specifically describe how you plan to use it or why it is useful, rather than just saying you like it.

The giver will feel good knowing they gave something valuable; failing to mention specific aspects of each gift may make givers feel left out.

• One source suggests lying about usage as a tactic for misdirection.

2 people, independently

• Express gratitude indirectly by mentioning specific ways you are using or enjoying a gift in conversation.1

If someone says they will regift your gift, politely ask if they didn't like it or what kind of gifts they prefer.

To know for the future.

one person who lived it

Stockpile small toys to give out instead of candy, rolling over leftovers to future years since they do not go bad.

Toys do not spoil like candy.

one person who lived it

Treat the host to dinner at a nearby restaurant as a thank-you.

It is less stressful than shopping for a gift if you lack transportation.

one person who lived it

Help with household chores, such as cooking a meal or washing dishes, instead of buying expensive gifts.

Your time and effort are often greater gifts than material items.

• Avoid disrupting the host's tidying-up routines.

one person who lived it

Take a photo of the text from a greeting card you like, then handwrite that message into a different card.

• Ensure the source card is not a condolence card.
• Be aware of copyright laws if copying verbatim.

3 people, independently

Always follow 'thank you' with 'for...' specifying the reason.

It makes the gratitude feel more personal and felt.

• Some find this phrasing corporate-y and cringe-worthy.

one person who lived it

Only gift plants to people who already enjoy gardening or plant care.

Many people view plant care as an unwanted chore.

one person who lived it

Ask 'would you like one?' instead of stating 'I got this for you' to avoid coercing people into accepting things they might not want.

Assertiveness in the form of coercion is not appreciated.

one person who lived it

Decline an overly nice offer once to gauge sincerity; if the person insists again, accept it.

This prevents the giver from feeling trapped if they were only being polite.

one person who lived it

Give teachers a small bouquet of three flowers with baby's breath and a ribbon as a thank-you gift.

Teachers often receive useless knick-knacks they have to give away, whereas flowers are pleasant.

one person who lived it

If you cannot afford physical gifts, write a heartfelt note or leave a loving label in an unexpected place.

It can be just as awesome as a gift.

one person who lived it

If anyone in the household suffers from migraines, avoid gifts with strong scents.

Strong scents can be a trigger for migraines.

one person who lived it

Avoid bringing licorice as a gift if you are Dutch or visiting places where it is disliked.

It may make enemies among those who dislike it.

• Specifically noted regarding Dutch people giving it elsewhere.

one person who lived it

Date greeting cards when writing or sending them.

It provides context and makes re-reading the card extra special in the future.

one person who lived it

If you work near gift card displays, warn elderly shoppers about scams to help them avoid fraud.

One person reported saving many people from mistakes by doing this.

one person who lived it

Treat wine or alcohol brought as a gift strictly as a present; do not suggest opening it immediately during the visit.

You are bringing a gift, not booze for the night.

one person who lived it

Put money inside a diaper cake when gifting new parents.

It is not just money, but something the parents will definitely be able to use.

• This practice is noted as common in Switzerland.

one person who lived it

Wait until you have something genuine to say before sending a card; do not send one if you do not know what to write.

Sending a card without personal content comes across as meaningless.

one person who lived it

Add 'you too' to your thanks when responding to greetings if you have time.

A quick 'you too' never hurts, though simply saying thanks is acceptable if you are short on time.

one person who lived it

Treat yourself to a small indulgence, such as a slice of cake, when using a surprise gift card.

You deserve it.

one person who lived it

Choose cheaper local grocery chains for gift cards so the funds stretch further.

Funds will stretch further at a cheaper store.

one person who lived it

Ask the store clerk to attach a care description tag to the plant when purchasing it as a gift.

You do not need to know all the care details yourself.

one person who lived it

Make a handmade origami flower and spritz it with cologne as a low-cost, thoughtful gift.

It costs less than store-bought items but carries more thought.

one person who lived it

Bake homemade treats like cookies or chocolate when you lack funds or ideas for gifts.

You can eat them yourself if the situation doesn't work out.

one person who lived it

Send a self-deprecating and funny thank-you note to staff who helped clean up your mess.

It shows appreciation and diffuses awkwardness.

one person who lived it

If you receive a gift without having one ready, do not rush out to buy an immediate return gift.

Rushing can lead to feelings of guilt or feeling like an outsider for not meeting expectations.

one person who lived it

Send a short video of yourself using an item or saying thank you.

It is really nice and always heartwarming.

one person who lived it

View every social gesture as a gift rather than a trade; act from your own decision rather than a sense of obligation.

This reframes actions as voluntary choices instead of debts owed.

one person who lived it

When someone is upset or mad, offer your undivided attention and listen instead of giving gifts.

Gifting away the pain is less effective than listening.

one person who lived it

Accept duplicate gifts graciously and later redistribute them to friends or those who would appreciate them, rather than refusing the original gift.

Refusing the gift can disappoint the giver.

3 people, independently

Wait to cash checks until you have written and sent the corresponding thank you card.

One person found this rule made them beloved by grandparents.

one person who lived it

Offer a sincere verbal thank you instead of a gift for minor favors like jump-starting a car.

It avoids reducing the interaction to a transaction or making it feel weird.

one person who lived it

Do not give pets as presents.

Pets can become a long-term financial and care burden, especially if the recipient's circumstances change later in life.

one person who lived it

Write a handwritten note yourself instead of buying a card from a store.

Store cards often contain cliché corporate justifications.

one person who lived it

Buy something special or unusual with a gift card that you wouldn't normally buy for yourself.

Most people want you to use their gift card for items you wouldn't otherwise purchase.

one person who lived it

Tell friends you are strictly budgeting this year to reduce gift-giving pressure.

Transparency may alleviate the feeling of pressure to spend.

one person who lived it

Do not expect guests to bring gifts to a destination wedding; consider their presence as the gift.

Making travel a burden detracts from having friends around to celebrate.

one person who lived it

Offer gum to others to create a positive first impression and appear generous.

People tend to like those who offer gum.

one person who lived it

View gift cards for necessities as freeing up cash for other expenses.

They eliminate one expense you have to pay for out of pocket.

one person who lived it

Do not expect verbal thanks for helping strangers online; accept likes as acknowledgment.

Expecting rewards sets you up for disappointment; others may view a like as a thank you.

one person who lived it

Give flowers unexpectedly on random days rather than waiting for special occasions.

Unexpected gestures mean more than expected ones; frequent gifts can be taken for granted or raise suspicion of cheating.

• Some partners find flowers to be a waste of money.
• Unexpected flowers may trigger suspicion of cheating.

2 people, independently

Bake a treat inside a borrowed pan before returning it to the owner as a thank-you gesture.

Returning a clean pan without reciprocation can be seen as rude; baking in it earns appreciation.

one person who lived it

When writing a thank you note for a gift, reword specific phrases from the giver's card to show you read and appreciated their unique message.

Because it's not email.

one person who lived it

Give cash instead of highly personal items like mattresses so the recipient can choose what suits them.

Personal items need to be chosen by the recipient; otherwise, they may end up returning them and going without.

one person who lived it

Express gratitude for being included in group events, even if it feels cheesy.

The good vibes from the expression of gratitude dwarf the feeling of cheesiness.

one person who lived it

Send a photo or show the item in person rather than just calling to report what you bought with a gift card.

Showing the item adds thoughtfulness compared to just telling someone.

one person who lived it

Make a habit of practicing courtesy.

It is inexpensive to you but highly valuable to others.

one person who lived it

Gather extended family members on one day during the holiday period to open presents together.

Grandparents will love it; it can be the highlight of their year.

one person who lived it

Bring spices as travel gifts.

They are long-lasting, interesting, welcome to most cooks, and generally face fewer border control problems.

one person who lived it

Bring shareable baked goods like cookies or donuts to express gratitude in a professional setting.

The recipient can enjoy them and pass them around, making the whole office happier.

one person who lived it

Be cautious when buying gift cards from companies that may be struggling financially.

Bankruptcy could render the balance unusable.

one person who lived it

Do not view the code on an e-gift card after purchasing it.

Once viewed, exchanges or returns are typically no longer possible.

one person who lived it

Do not write 'no presents' on invitations for events that traditionally require gifts, such as baby showers or bridal showers.

It creates awkwardness for the guests.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge poor wrapping by stating you did your best, which can elicit a chuckle rather than criticism.

It usually gets a chuckle from the recipient.

one person who lived it

Offer to cover ongoing service fees when gifting devices that require them.

It prevents the recipient from facing unexpected annual costs to use the gift properly.

one person who lived it

Ask hobbyists specific questions about their needs and preferences before buying them a hobby-related gift.

They may already own many items or use only specific types, causing your gift to go to waste.

one person who lived it

Confirm with all attendees if a 'no gifts' rule applies to a holiday gathering to avoid social awkwardness.

Failing to confirm can lead to situations where you receive gifts without having brought any, or vice versa, causing discomfort.

• If people bring gifts despite being told not to, they are considered rude.

one person who lived it

Recognize that some givers, particularly grandparents, enjoy knowing what specific treats you buy with their gift cards.

They like knowing what you do with the gift.

one person who lived it

Perform gestures that show appreciation for gifts.

These gestures make givers feel good about giving and may lead to greater generosity in the future.

one person who lived it

Add a tip to service gift cards so the recipient does not have to pay out of pocket at the end of the visit.

one person who lived it

Keep thank-you notes to bosses short and authentic; avoid over-thanking.

Over-thanking can be off-putting, while acting naturally may elicit a positive response.

• Some bosses dislike being thanked by subordinates.

one person who lived it

Recognize that traditionally, not handing out candy resulted in 'tricks' like egging, though this is less common now.

Traditionally they'd egg your house if you didn't participate, but that doesn't really happen anymore.

• This tradition does not really happen anymore.

one person who lived it

Handwrite thank-you notes if you want to stand out, but be aware that some recipients find them uncomfortable or outdated.

Some perceive handwritten notes as showing more appreciation and helping candidates stand out; others view them as antiquated traditions that do not sway hiring decisions.

• Some people feel extremely uncomfortable receiving handwritten notes.
• Some consider it an outdated practice that needs to die.

2 people, independently

Send a quick text message to confirm receipt of a delivered gift if you do not prefer sending formal thank-you notes.

It lets the sender know the package was actually delivered.

one person who lived it

Opt out of mandatory workplace gift contributions if they strain your budget by explicitly declining future participation.

People with common sense will not care, and you should focus on your own finances.

one person who lived it

Focus on the recipient's reaction to a gift over the criticism of other family members.

The gift was intended for the recipient, whose satisfaction matters most.

one person who lived it

Avoid giving recurring subscriptions as gifts.

They create an ongoing financial burden for the recipient after the initial free period ends.

one person who lived it

Recognize and honor subtle indications that others do not wish to exchange gifts.

Ignoring these signals makes the gift giver appear dramatic or difficult.

one person who lived it

• Avoid guessing surprises or gifts, as being too good at it may cause people to stop giving you gifts.1

Open and read the greeting card before opening the physical gift to show appreciation first.

Opening the gift first makes you look greedy.

one person who lived it

Only give high-end restaurant gift cards if the recipient already frequents that establishment.

The average bill at such places often exceeds the value of typical gift cards, leaving the recipient to pay a significant difference.

one person who lived it

If thanked for your service, respond with 'Thank you for your support.'

3 people, independently

Say 'You're welcome' or 'No problem' when thanked.

Failing to respond is dissatisfying.

one person who lived it

Express genuine appreciation to service workers by saying thank you frequently.

It acknowledges the value of their work.

one person who lived it

Develop and send nice photos from the event to the couple or family, including a date and description on the back.

Recipients have expressed gratitude for this gesture.

one person who lived it

Keep favorite greeting cards and notes from friends, family, students, or coworkers to revisit during difficult periods.

Reading those notes can provide emotional support and help on bad days.

one person who lived it

Give gifts primarily out of affection rather than exclusively as apologies.

This ensures the gift reminds the recipient of your love rather than guilt.

one person who lived it

• Avoid giving long-lasting items as apologies.1

Choose gift cards over physical items to prevent cluttering the recipient's home with unwanted goods.

Physical gifts often end up as unused junk that takes up space.

one person who lived it

Accept compliments with a simple 'thank you' without feeling pressured to return one immediately.

The giver does not expect a compliment back.

2 people, independently

Provide feedback on gifts from acquaintances to help them learn your preferences.

Without feedback, you are likely to receive more generic gifts.

one person who lived it

Frame reciprocity as 'taking turns' to help generous people accept receiving favors.

It may be easier for them to understand this framing.

one person who lived it

Include a small gift, such as candy or a homemade snack, when returning borrowed food containers.

It shows appreciation and spares the lender from cleaning the container.

one person who lived it

Use reusable containers like laundry baskets, flower pots, or large Tupperware instead of wicker baskets for food gifts.

Wicker baskets seldom get reused and often become clutter.

one person who lived it

Distinguish between rote politeness and genuine gratitude, recognizing that taught phrases may feel empty.

Rote 'thank you' is not really showing appreciation.

one person who lived it

Avoid sending photos of purchases made with gift cards if the items are sexually explicit or inappropriate for the giver.

It could be considered harassment or unwanted information.

one person who lived it

Work out the necessity of returning a gift based on the relationship, occasion, and value of the original gift.

The decision is not black and white; it depends on specific contextual factors.

one person who lived it

Use words to communicate feelings and apologies instead of relying solely on gifts.

Verbal communication is romantic and effective in real life, unlike in movies.

one person who lived it

If you cannot think of original words, simply write 'Happy Birthday' or a simple phrase.

The effort of handwriting it is often appreciated more than eloquent prose, and awkward words are sometimes remembered more than store-bought sentiment.

one person who lived it

Reserve giving flowers to your significant other for positive occasions.

Surprising a partner with flowers can turn around a bad day.

one person who lived it

Deposit gift checks as soon as possible unless instructed otherwise.

It is considered most polite.

one person who lived it

Accept grocery gift cards graciously to reduce stress about budgeting until payday.

It reduces stress about affording groceries until the next paycheck.

one person who lived it

Accept sympathy flowers graciously and quietly dispose of them rather than posting passive-aggressive complaints online.

The effort to show sympathy is what counts.

one person who lived it

Request separate checks or pay only your half to avoid unintentionally gifting money.

Gifting carries zero obligation to reciprocate.

one person who lived it

Stop offering to pay for someone who consistently fails to express gratitude.

Their lack of appreciation discourages further generosity.

one person who lived it

Use an online corporate thank-you card system if available to send notes to coworkers.

It keeps things professional while providing official recognition.

one person who lived it

Wrap homemade food gifts in themed fabric prints for display.

one person who lived it

Quickly imagine how you will use the gift to generate an immediate positive reaction.

It provides immediate satisfaction.

one person who lived it

Replace physical gifts with experiences like lunch or dinner to avoid complaints about unsuitable items.

• One person reported doing this after friends returned gifts

one person who lived it

Choose industrialized, sterilized, and properly sealed foods for travel gifts.

Pre-packaged items generally face fewer border inspection issues.

one person who lived it

Send a photo of yourself wearing handmade jewelry or accessories you received as a gift.

one person who lived it

Advocate for better veteran benefits by calling, emailing, or writing to your representatives to fix the VA, rather than offering empty verbal thanks.

one person who lived it

Consider donating leftover wedding cake to convents or religious communities.

one person who lived it

Do not treat menstruating women differently or claim they are weaker or crying for no reason.

Such statements are not helpful at all.

one person who lived it

Use the phrase 'Are you sure?' when someone declines an offer to signal genuineness, but be aware that some people find this pressuring.

A simple 'Are you sure?' goes a long way to show the offer was genuine

• Some people hate being pressured to accept just because the host feels obligated

one person who lived it

If rejected by a bouncer, leave calmly and politely, then return later (e.g., an hour) after having water to show respect and sobriety.

Showing respect can be enough to gain entry; leaving hard may result in being banned for a year.

one person who lived it

Do not buy a drink for someone before approaching them or asking if they want one.

Buying a drink without asking can be seen as insulting, disrespectful, or wasteful.

• Some prefer to go to the bar together so the drink goes straight from the bartender to them.

one person who lived it

Threaten to leave the event if pressured to drink.

It changed the pressurers' tune very quickly.

• This reflects one person's experience with family pressure.

one person who lived it

• Leave immediately if someone becomes angry or overly uncomfortable after you decline to drink.1

Do not guess that someone has a mental condition, alcohol issue, or pregnancy when they turn down a drink.

Choosing not to consume alcohol on a specific day is standard behavior.

3 people, independently

• Do not assume a woman is pregnant if she declines alcohol; there are many other reasons for not drinking.5

Learn to say no firmly.

No is a wonderful and good word.

one person who lived it

Do not explain why you are leaving if the group is hostile; simply state that you must go.

You do not owe anyone an explanation.

one person who lived it

Do not approach the bride or groom with problems or complaints on their wedding day.

Doing so can leave them with a tainted memory of the day.

one person who lived it

Send a message to hosts the next day if you left an event early without saying goodbye.

It acknowledges their efforts, cancels out any perceived rudeness, and reassures them that you are safe.

• You do not owe them an explanation.

one person who lived it

Focus on your autonomy by remembering that you are not obligated to exist solely for your job.

It is not rude to have a life outside of work.

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Justify your presence at a bar simply by stating you were hungry or wanted a drink.

That is enough reason to be there.

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View judgment or rejection for not drinking as a positive filter to identify compatible people.

The right person won't care, and it is better to be without those who judge.

one person who lived it

Add 'thank you for the invitation' or 'maybe next time' to soften a direct refusal.

A bare 'no' can cause someone to check out of the friendship.

one person who lived it

• Propose an alternative hangout date or place immediately after declining an invitation.1

Expect assumptions of pregnancy if you are a woman of childbearing age who declines alcohol.

People often immediately ask if you are pregnant, which can lead to unwanted announcements.

3 people, independently

Reframe wedding blunders and unexpected moments as fun stories you will tell later.

They become the fun stories you'll tell later.

one person who lived it

Accept a refusal to drink alcohol immediately without asking for reasons or insisting.

Asking why can make the person uncomfortable, and they do not owe an explanation.

15 people, independently

• Tell people you dislike the flavor of booze if they push you to drink.4
• Recognize that asking 'why not' may stem from the offerer's discomfort with their own justification for drinking.1

Trust that an invitation is genuine even if the inviter adds qualifiers like 'only if you want to'.

They would not have invited you if they did not want you to come.

one person who lived it

• Respond with genuine enthusiasm to reassure an insecure inviter that you want to attend.1

Contact the couple directly if you cannot confirm attendance by the RSVP deadline rather than ignoring them.

The couple is spending money and needs to know; ghosting is unacceptable.

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Directly state that you are exhausted and need to kick guests out, using a smiling or joking tone to soften the request.

This usually works to end the visit.

one person who lived it

Use a direct tone, confident body language, or firm statements to shut down persistent peer pressure to drink.

Confidence and directness usually stop the pressure.

3 people, independently

Be aware that some employers may penalize employees for not drinking at work events.

Some owners view non-drinking as wasting company money and may blacklist non-participants.

• This reflects a specific negative experience with one owner, not universal policy.

one person who lived it

Use the phrase 'I only drink when I'm alone' to prevent follow-up questions.

It stops further questioning.

one person who lived it

• Tell people that alcohol makes you shit blood to deter further offers.2
• Use humor, absurdity, or fabricated excuses (such as health issues, pregnancy, or allergies) to deflect questions about not drinking without revealing personal details.8

Ask first responders or veterans about the funniest, weirdest, or most rewarding things they have experienced instead of the worst.

Asking about the worst brings down the mood; everyone has a favorite story or funny experience.

3 people, independently

Do not propose at someone else's wedding.

It is seen as an attention grab using a crowd of strangers who do not care about the engagement.

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If you struggle with pacing your drinking, choose fizzy alcohol like beer over shots.

Fizzy drinks require slower consumption and the bloating from gas helps slow you down further.

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Avoid making big life decisions or engaging in contentious discussions late at night or when tired.

Fatigue impairs judgment similarly to hunger; chances are you won't care about the conflict in the morning.

3 people, independently

Recognize that pushy drinkers may be seeking validation for their own consumption habits.

They feel they shouldn't have to drink if others don't need to.

one person who lived it

Recognize that staff surprise when booking for one stems from the rarity of the question, not impropriety.

It is never an issue.

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Ask musician or photographer friends if they prefer to work the wedding or participate as a guest.

Assuming they want to work may make them feel slighted.

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Say goodbye to at least one or two people when leaving an event, even if you do not say goodbye to everyone.

It fulfills social obligations and ensures witnesses can confirm your departure so others do not worry.

2 people, independently

Do not buy rounds of drinks if you are not consuming alcohol.

No one expects non-drinkers to buy rounds.

one person who lived it

Use a firm but polite refusal such as 'no sorry' when strangers ask for things you do not wish to give.

It is an appropriate response.

one person who lived it

Be aware that being polite can sometimes lead to longer waits if the bartender assumes you will not mind waiting.

Bartenders may focus on rude customers who complain over nice customers whom they assume are patient.

• One person reported this strategy backfiring because they are generally nice.

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Test friends by discussing shows you won't mind getting spoiled on before discussing ones you care about.

This helps identify which friends you can trust not to spoil anything.

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State the expected end time in the party invitation.

Intended to discourage guests from staying too late.

• Has not really worked for some hosts.

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• Specify 'feel free to head over after X o'clock' on invitations.1

Request that friends stop asking why you weren't there when you weren't invited, and set a boundary to end the conversation if they ask again.

The question is annoying and hurtful.

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Do not take out personal frustrations or bad days on strangers who are not involved in your problems.

Being sick or hurting is an explanation, not an excuse, to mistreat others.

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Defend your boundaries assertively by citing work conflicts, such as working until 6 and starting again at 9 am the next day, as enough explanation for declining.

No one else will defend your boundaries for you.

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Continue to socialize and participate in group activities even if you are not drinking.

Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you don't want to socialize; you can still join friends for bar food or non-alcoholic drinks.

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If other methods fail, use a shocking final line about past drunken regrets to deter further offers.

It serves as a good final line when other approaches do not work.

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Skip the polite back-and-forth about chores or bills and simply start doing the task yourself.

This avoids playing social games while appeasing significant others.

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Serve sparkling apple juice instead of plain apple juice at gatherings with kids.

It makes the drink feel more celebratory for both kids and adults.

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Phrase your desire to leave tactfully rather than abruptly stating 'I'm ready to go'.

Simply saying 'I’m ready to go' can be perceived as abrupt, self-serving, or borderline rude.

one person who lived it

Verbally state 'I'm next' if you feel you are being skipped by a bartender.

This prevents others from pushing in after you've been waiting.

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Say no to rescuing situations where you are expected to fix problems that are not yours, rather than agreeing to things that put you in a worse position.

Saying yes to unwanted rescue missions often leads to negative outcomes for yourself.

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Lead with the specific activity and details when inviting someone, rather than just asking if they are free.

If they know why you are asking, they might move other obligations.

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If your wedding budget is too tight to cover plus-ones, do not invite single people whose partners you know.

Inviting someone known to be in a relationship or married without their partner is extremely rude.

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Use humor to deflect drink offers, such as jokingly stating you do not drink before a certain time.

Humor defuses most social pressures.

one person who lived it

• Say 'no thank you' instead of 'I don't drink' when offered a beverage.3
• Politely refuse unwanted food or drink gifts by citing dietary restrictions or preferences with humor.1

State clearly when you are not interested in seeing someone again, rather than using vague excuses.

Vague excuses can lead to confusion and potential sexual harassment claims if the other person tries again.

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Refrain from approaching strangers for lunch in workplace settings unless the culture explicitly encourages it.

People generally do not want strangers intruding on their break time.

• Even if encouraged, it may not actually happen.

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If you value the relationship, return invitations to keep a 1:1 ratio.

Keeping this balance generally ensures things go well.

one person who lived it

Squint or look confused at people who persistently pressure you to drink.

It signals confusion about why they are making a big deal out of it.

one person who lived it

Deflect follow-up questions about not drinking by saying it will mess with your training.

Drinking can lead to binging that undoes weeks of training progress.

one person who lived it

Avoid mouthwash containing alcohol.

Alcohol dries out the mouth, which results in bad breath.

one person who lived it

Do not reply to an invitation by asking 'who all is coming?'

The subtext implies that the person inviting you isn't enough company.

one person who lived it

If someone asks how you got injured, tell a different made-up story each time.

It serves as a harmless creative pastime.

one person who lived it

If you cannot attend an event, thank the host for the invitation at the very least.

There are people who do not receive any invitations at all.

one person who lived it

• Cancel invitations as soon as possible if you cannot attend due to logistical or financial constraints.1
• Decline invitations by stating you have a prior commitment that cannot be postponed.6

Refrain from questioning police officers or soldiers about whether they have ever killed anyone.

Such inquiries are typically seen as rude, deeply personal, and often distressing to recall.

4 people, independently

Accept that disliking the taste or feeling of alcohol is normal and valid.

Some people find all alcohol tastes like rubbing alcohol or simply unpleasant, and do not enjoy being drunk.

5 people, independently

Be direct and honest about the duration and terms of staying with someone.

Misunderstandings about stay length can be awkward, unfun, and destroy friendships.

one person who lived it

Leave early by citing fatigue or an early morning schedule if staying makes you miserable.

Making yourself miserable will not make your partner happy.

one person who lived it

Recognize that refusing to drink may make others feel you do not trust them or that they are more vulnerable than you.

Some people view drinking as a bonding ceremony and react negatively to non-participation.

one person who lived it

Do not show up uninvited to a group event to apologize.

It is perceived as awkward and intrusive.

one person who lived it

Frame your abstinence as a 'lifestyle choice' rather than giving a specific reason.

It is close to the truth but avoids the awkwardness of explaining the actual reason.

one person who lived it

Claim to be the designated driver to stop people from pressuring you to drink, even if you are driving alone.

This excuse is effective at making people stop bugging you about not drinking.

2 people, independently

Use being tired as a neutral excuse for leaving rather than criticizing the group's social circle.

Telling them their social circle is not for you comes off badly.

one person who lived it

Recognize that saying 'it's time to go' often serves as a request for approval to leave rather than an immediate action.

People say it hoping for approval to make leaving easier when unsure which time is socially acceptable.

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Assume you misheard rather than assuming malintent if you overhear a host discussing your departure.

Questions like 'When is she leaving?' can be innocent inquiries without implying the guest should leave.

one person who lived it

• Interpret a host's question about your departure time as a casual check-in on plans rather than a demand to leave immediately.1

Bring non-alcoholic spirits as a gift to accommodate guests who may not drink alcohol.

Many people participate in dry January or abstain for other reasons, and you often do not know their status.

one person who lived it

If you are excluded from an event, assume it is not personal but rather due to the organizer's limited knowledge of your relationship with the host.

The person arranging the event likely does not know you well enough or realize how close you are to the host.

one person who lived it

Recognize that a parent may use you as a scapegoat to enforce rules on their child, such as ending a sleepover, rather than taking responsibility themselves.

The parent may have withheld permission from the start and waited for you to act as the 'bad guy'.

one person who lived it

Assume bartenders may genuinely enjoy talking to regulars who make their shift go faster, rather than viewing friendliness solely as a transactional tactic.

Bartenders prefer sitting with people they enjoy talking to because it makes their night go by faster and makes their day better.

• This applies to polite patrons; rude or disruptive people are treated differently.

one person who lived it

Avoid reading at the bar if you want to be approachable.

It signals that you are occupied and deters people from starting conversations.

one person who lived it

Avoid people who spoil things rather than avoiding telling every single person.

Some people aren't every person.

one person who lived it

Leave social gatherings just before the conversation dies to maintain the impression that you kept the group alive.

People may assume you were the one keeping the energy up if you leave before things go dead.

one person who lived it

Avoid revealing plot twists when suggesting films, books, or series. Doing so may spoil the experience and reduce viewer engagement.

6 people, independently

Leave social gatherings before you are the only guest remaining with the host.

To avoid overstaying your welcome and ending up alone with the host.

one person who lived it

Do not get your hopes up about becoming friends with a bartender; see where the relationship goes naturally.

Many bar friendships do not survive outside of the bar environment.

one person who lived it

Plan a specific positive exit phrase before speaking to an audience to clearly signal that you are finished talking.

It prevents trailing off with filler words and ensures a clear conclusion.

one person who lived it

Honestly state that you are tired or have a drained social battery when leaving.

Friends should accept honest answers about social energy limits.

one person who lived it

Cite medication interactions, general health goals, or driving as reasons for not drinking to avoid pushback.

People rarely argue with medical restrictions or safety concerns like driving.

• Staring into their soul when citing medication helps prevent further questions.

5 people, independently

Stop leaving silently if people call to check on your safety, as this indicates they care and worry when you disappear.

Leaving without notice causes hosts to wonder about your safety and whereabouts, which is why it is considered rude.

one person who lived it

Do not ask bartenders for ziplock bags to take leftover hard alcohol home.

Bartenders will not provide this service.

one person who lived it

Tell friends directly if their cellphone use during social events bothers you.

3 people, independently

If you decline a dance invitation, remain seated for the duration of that song.

It is a courtesy to the inviter.

one person who lived it

• If someone declines a dance invitation, drop it immediately and do not pursue further.1

Invite non-family members to gatherings to help moderate volatile family behavior.

Family members are often less likely to act out when strangers are present.

• Some disagree, stating that certain family members will act out regardless of who is around.

one person who lived it

Do not tell someone 'You don't have to do that' when they volunteer help; simply say 'Thanks' or 'No Thanks'.

one person who lived it

Do not offer alcoholic drinks to friends who have stated they do not drink.

Offering alcohol to a known non-drinker is considered poor friendship.

one person who lived it

Decline confidently and politely without giving an excuse to avoid debate or negotiation.

Explaining yourself opens the door for debate, negotiations, or persistent pushing from the offerer.

• In some foreign cultures, refusing an offer may offend the host.

2 people, independently

Call out the pusher's behavior as weird or unpleasant to reverse the social dynamic.

Labeling their persistence as strange or their drunkenness as unpleasant shifts the awkwardness onto them.

one person who lived it

Set clear rules for leftovers and enforce them firmly without justifying yourself.

Justifying your decision gives people something to argue against; keeping it short and simple is more effective.

one person who lived it

Have a server deliver drinks between parties rather than handing them directly to avoid drug safety risks and accusations.

This avoids being drugged or being accused of wanting to drug the other person.

one person who lived it

Avoid using phrases like 'you'll never see it coming' or 'mind-blowing' as recommendations.

These phrases signal that a twist exists, which acts as a spoiler itself.

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Instruct your DJ to never hand the microphone to guests unless you or your spouse have given explicit verbal permission.

This prevents unwanted proposals, pregnancy announcements, or speeches from people you do not want speaking.

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Talk to friends about things that bother you instead of silently downgrading the friendship.

Silently downgrading friends seems very avoidant.

one person who lived it

One approach reported for avoiding unwanted social events is claiming illness or blaming COVID.

Others use this method to get out of things they do not want to attend.

one person who lived it

Ask a server privately to substitute sparkling water for your alcoholic drink order.

Declining a second drink openly can make things uncomfortable quickly.

• This approach was used by one person to avoid discomfort.

one person who lived it

• If someone turns down an alcoholic beverage, promptly suggest specific non-alcoholic options such as sparkling water, soda, juice, or tea without judgment.5

Avoid asking staff about closure details or job security.

They likely do not know the answers and are stressed about losing their jobs.

one person who lived it

Serve adult-style non-alcoholic beverages like mocktails at parties so non-drinkers feel included without needing to explain their choice.

It creates a comfortable environment for those in recovery or who do not drink.

one person who lived it

Ignore bar promoters or politely decline their offers without elaboration.

It is part of their job and they will not be hurt by the refusal.

one person who lived it

Stop responding to ungrateful requesters or cite lack of time; avoid sending passive-aggressive messages.

Passive-aggressive texts turn people off and give them ammunition to share with others.

one person who lived it

Do not post about major life events such as births, engagements, or pregnancies unless it is your own news to share.

Sharing others' personal milestones without permission can cause serious drama.

3 people, independently

Avoid roasting or insulting the couple; keep the speech forgettable rather than devastating.

Insults can end lifelong friendships and are inappropriate at weddings.

one person who lived it

Use vague positive descriptors like 'it has a good ending' instead of specific warnings about twists or emotions.

Specific anticipation warnings lose their power.

2 people, independently

After brief interactions with uninvited guests, suggest scheduling a future meeting via call or message to establish expectations.

This reinforces that drop-ins are not preferred and helps carve out real time together.

one person who lived it

Keep fresh-squeezed lemonade on hand as a delicious alternative to alcohol.

It tastes great, which can be enough reason to choose it over alcohol.

one person who lived it

Deflect pressure to drink by abruptly changing the subject to an unrelated topic or person.

Shifting focus (e.g., asking about a family member) breaks the momentum of the request.

one person who lived it

Carry a lighter even if you do not smoke to help with social conversations.

Offering a light can spark amazing conversations at parties.

one person who lived it

Ask if anyone else wants to come along when leaving a group temporarily, especially if you do not know them well.

To avoid intruding by leaving without an invitation.

one person who lived it

Inform the couple in advance if you need more time to RSVP due to external constraints like work schedules.

one person who lived it

To discourage attendance by someone you wish to avoid, frame your gathering around a topic or activity they dislike.

They will likely choose not to attend if the theme is unappealing to them.

one person who lived it

Avoid passing a microphone around or asking guests open-ended questions during the reception.

It often results in irrelevant comments or drunk mumbling.

one person who lived it

RSVP to wedding invitations immediately upon receipt.

You won't forget before the deadline, and you'll spare the couple unnecessary stress.

one person who lived it

Order non-alcoholic drinks confidently without apologizing or using qualifiers like 'just'.

Using qualifiers like 'just' is often done to clarify you don't want booze in loud bars, but confident ordering avoids this dynamic.

2 people, independently

Avoid texting professional contacts on Thanksgiving to respect their day off from client communication.

They likely value the break from hearing from clients.

one person who lived it

Decline wedding invitations without providing a reason or explanation.

Giving reasons risks wording mistakes that upset people and pressures the couple to solve your problems.

one person who lived it

When explaining why you do something alone, provide a neutral answer that focuses on your own preferences rather than others' flaws.

This avoids sounding accusatory.

one person who lived it

Avoid diving through post history on alternate accounts to criticize users.

It signals issues with the critic.

one person who lived it

Stop answering calls from someone who does not respect boundaries after they have been declined multiple times.

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If you must decline an unannounced visitor, be polite, offer a brief explanation, and suggest a short alternative like coffee for 15 minutes.

Politeness and brief explanations usually lead to acceptance of the refusal.

one person who lived it

Text family members you are not attending a wedding to acknowledge the relationship, even if you do not owe them a reason.

Family may appreciate the acknowledgment.

one person who lived it

Privately message the honoree later to apologize for double-booking, avoiding public announcements from your manager.

It looks like you made a genuine effort to communicate without interference.

one person who lived it

Negotiate a specific departure time with your partner before attending long family gatherings.

Feeling forced to stay longer than desired causes resentment to build.

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Provide only one reason for declining rather than listing multiple excuses.

Listing multiple reasons can make the excuse sound suspicious.

one person who lived it

If parents or friends consistently ignore you for their phones or TV during a visit, leave early.

one person who lived it

Discuss exit strategies and signals with partners before attending social events.

To prevent inadvertent uncomfortable situations.

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Be assertive about your availability and avoid tentative language like 'I was thinking' to prevent others from taking advantage of you.

Tentative language invites others to encroach on your time; assertiveness sets clear boundaries.

one person who lived it

Use assertive statements instead of passive questions when asking for contact information or dates.

Passive questions can ruin dating opportunities.

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Avoid discussing global crises, politics, or religion, and generally avoid talking about money.

Most people are not comfortable discussing money.

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Carefully control who speaks to prevent fights, drunk toasts, or passive-aggressive comments.

Excluding certain relatives or allowing inappropriate speakers can cause conflict.

one person who lived it

Focus on your own well-being and ideals over maintaining appearances when deciding whether to attend an event.

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Recognize that alcohol impairs judgment and actions, acting as a more serious drug than Western society often considers it to be.

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When offering drinks, ask generally if guests want something to drink rather than specifying alcoholic beverages.

This avoids the entire situation of restricting offers to just alcoholic beverages.

2 people, independently

Arrange for a friend to call you pretending to be a parent in an emergency to escape an uncomfortable situation.

2 people, independently

Honor explicit requests not to buy specific items.

People have personal preferences regarding what they purchase for themselves.

one person who lived it

If offered a surprise shot you do not want, politely decline and offer it to someone else to avoid wasting money.

Wasting people's money is disrespectful; finding another recipient preserves courtesy.

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Drink non-alcoholic beverages like water, soda, or iced tea between alcoholic drinks to prevent over-intoxication.

It helps keep you from going over the border of intoxication.

one person who lived it

Decline last-minute social invitations by citing the short notice as the reason you cannot attend.

It avoids elaboration or complicated explanations.

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Lie and provide a concrete reason, such as illness, maintenance issues, or family emergencies, rather than vague circumstances, to avoid making people curious.

Saying 'unforeseen circumstances' makes people curious.

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Avoid discussing other people's personal finances, as it is considered private business.

Talking about someone's personal finances is generally frowned upon.

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Avoid mentioning upcoming achievements or events unless you are prepared to accept congratulations for them.

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Sleep in your guest room personally to spot any discomforts or issues visitors might overlook.

Visitors often hide problems; staying there lets you find faults like broken A/C or poor bedding.

9 people, independently

Bring your own towel when invited to swim at someone's house.

Not bringing one implies you expect the host to entertain, feed, and do your laundry.

• Some hosts consider providing towels their responsibility as a good host.

one person who lived it

Store a fresh, sealed toothbrush in your home for guests who stay overnight unexpectedly.

You cannot predict when an unplanned guest might need one.

3 people, independently

Keep extra basic supplies like toilet paper on hand so visitors do not feel awkward requesting them.

Visitors prefer not needing to search for items or ask for help.

3 people, independently

• Stock the guest bathroom with pads, soft toothbrushes, saline, and contact cases.1
• Open sealed toiletries like lotions and leave out opened boxes of tissues before guests arrive.1
• Stock facial wipes, tampons, pads, and mouthwash for guests.1

Remove your shoes before entering your home to keep it cleaner and more sanitary.

Shoes track dirt and debris from the streets into the house.

• One person argued that shoes might be cleaner if worn only inside the home.

2 people, independently

Ask the host if you should keep the guest room door open or closed.

Preferences vary; some hosts need doors closed for pet safety (e.g., rabbits), while others believe guests should have privacy.

• Some hosts require doors closed to protect pets like rabbits.
• Others believe guests should have privacy regardless.

one person who lived it

Do not leave your drink unattended, even if marked with a coaster.

Coasters can fall, get wet, absorb bacteria, and leaving drinks open risks drugging in rooms full of strangers.

one person who lived it

If you are sleeping on a host's couch, get up when the host gets up.

Sleeping in forces the host to tiptoe around their own home in the dark to avoid waking you.

one person who lived it

Pour a bucket of water from above to clear stubborn clogs in toilets with weak flushes.

It helps shift waste when the toilet cannot do it alone.

one person who lived it

Allow the maid of honor to shield the couple from guests so they can enjoy the wedding.

It allows the couple to focus on enjoying their wedding.

one person who lived it

Gently hand wash items labeled 'dry clean only' using wool wash or similar detergent.

Most such items are fine with this method.

• Not everything is suitable for this method.

one person who lived it

Tell guests in advance that you must go to bed at a specific time due to an early morning appointment.

This sets a clear expectation for when they should leave.

one person who lived it

• Announce your departure time when you arrive so guests expect you to leave early.1

Keep a plunger in every bathroom, including guest bathrooms.

Guests should not have to ask for one.

one person who lived it

• Discreetly place a plunger in every guest bathroom so visitors can resolve clogs privately.7
• Hide a toilet plunger behind or inside a cabinet in the guest restroom.2
• Keep air freshener spray and a plunger in the guest bathroom.1

Dispose of baby wipes and 'flushable' wipes in the trash; do not flush them.

The packaging claim that they are flushable is false.

one person who lived it

Help clean up if you are among the last guests to leave.

You will likely receive future invitations.

one person who lived it

• Start cleaning up visibly as a host to signal to remaining guests that the party is ending.1

Give the host space and avoid hogging common areas.

Hogging common areas makes the host feel like they are living around the guest, which is a major pet peeve.

one person who lived it

Do not flush 'flushable' wipes or other non-dissolving items down the toilet.

They snag on pipes and do not dissolve, which can clog sewer lines.

2 people, independently

Comply with parents' requests for specific phrases while living at home to keep peace.

Keeping them happy is a top priority when you live in their house.

one person who lived it

Keep drain cleaner and a snake accessible for severe toilet clogs.

Some clogs are too large for standard plunging and require extra power.

one person who lived it

Place flowers in a vase before arriving so the host does not need to search for one.

It prevents the host from searching their home while trying to entertain guests.

2 people, independently

Do not arrive early unless expressly asked by the host.

Arriving early forces the host to drop everything to entertain you or feel guilty; hosts may still be preparing (e.g., in the shower).

2 people, independently

Keep a basket of guest toiletries such as sample-sized soaps, floss, razors, and makeup wipes.

To ensure you have supplies ready when guests stay overnight.

one person who lived it

• Save hotel amenities like soaps and toothbrushes from your trips to leave in a basket for guests who may forget theirs.1
• Stock a guest drawer with washcloths, toothbrushes, and spare pajamas to make unexpected stay-overs comfortable.1

Stop attempting to help with cleaning if the host explicitly declines your offer.

Continuing to help after a request to stop can be annoying to the host.

2 people, independently

• Ask your host for permission and specific instructions before helping with cleanup.1

Do not use the garbage disposal when helping in the kitchen.

Disposals do not work the way guests think they do, and improper use can break them.

one person who lived it

Brush your teeth even if you have no toothpaste or little to no water.

Doing so will still do the trick.

one person who lived it

Stand by the kitchen door if you want guests to leave.

Guests may take this position as a cue that it is time to go.

one person who lived it

Make your guest room livable but include subtle annoyances to discourage long-term stays.

This helps ensure the room remains for short-term guests rather than becoming a space for long-term roommates.

3 people, independently

Keep a spare roll of toilet paper in your car for emergencies when visiting others' homes.

To handle situations where there is no toilet paper left.

one person who lived it

Help clean up after parties to increase the likelihood of being invited to future events.

Hosts remember this effort and want you at their next party; hosts dislike dealing with messes alone after spending time, energy, and money.

• Some hosts prefer guests to leave leftovers and let them clean tomorrow rather than having the last person hang around.

one person who lived it

Explicitly encourage overnight guests to sleep in and do their own thing in the morning.

It helps guests feel comfortable enough to be independent while staying at your house.

one person who lived it

Offer a guest an old towel to place under themselves to protect bedding from leaks and reduce discomfort.

It prevents bed stains and helps the guest feel less uncomfortable.

one person who lived it

Clean your bathroom thoroughly before hosting a date.

Strong odors, such as from a litter box, create a negative impression.

one person who lived it

Inquire with your host about specific tasks and home care preferences before assisting.

Otherwise you are just interfering.

4 people, independently

Include period products in the guest drawer.

It fits the 'too embarrassing to ask' descriptor.

one person who lived it

Avoid being rude to regular hosts.

Rudeness causes them additional work and stress, which can lead to your exclusion.

one person who lived it

Set up a waste basket with a liner in the guest bathroom.

It lets guests quietly dispose of floss, wipes, non-recyclables, or sanitary supplies.

4 people, independently

Bring an interesting item, such as a puzzle toy, to play with or show off at parties.

One person found that bringing a toy like a Kendama engaged guests throughout the night.

one person who lived it

Tell guests who violate hosting rules that you will stick to those rules for fairness to all guests and yourself.

Hosting requires hard work, and rules ensure fairness; inform the guest that their presence is valued but compliance is necessary.

one person who lived it

Provide a separate hand towel for guests rather than your personal one.

Guests may not want to use your regular towel.

one person who lived it

• Provide paper towels instead of cloth towels for guests during parties.1

If you have a septic system, use toilet paper brands recommended by septic pump professionals.

Cheap or generic toilet paper may not dissolve and can clog drainage field ports.

one person who lived it

Test the guest shower yourself before guests arrive to ensure it functions properly, as they may not report issues like low pressure or broken diverters.

Guests often do not mention problems with the shower even if the experience is poor.

one person who lived it

Occasionally use your guest bathrooms yourself to spot maintenance issues before guests arrive.

It is better to find out about problems like peeling paint yourself first.

one person who lived it

Call the host if you are running late to a party to ask if they need anything picked up.

It is helpful to the host and avoids the rudeness of arriving empty-handed or leaving guests behind.

one person who lived it

Start cleaning up yourself to encourage other guests to help.

Leading by example often causes others to join in.

one person who lived it

Inform your host about needs, illnesses, or plan changes before they become problems.

Hosts are likely to be more understanding if informed rather than after the fact.

one person who lived it

Stock free dentist samples like toothbrushes, toothpaste, and floss for guests.

Guests may forget these items or arrive for impromptu visits.

one person who lived it

Avoid tidying up a host's living room if you are unsure where items belong, as it can make things difficult to find later.

Others may not be able to locate items after someone else has rearranged them.

one person who lived it

Float strips of toilet paper on the water surface before using the toilet.

The paper catches the impact and friction to prevent splashback and skid marks.

one person who lived it

Keep wet wipes or baby wipes handy for guests.

Paper towels are insufficient for washing hands; wipes offer a better alternative.

• Do not flush baby wipes.

2 people, independently

Offer guests tea or snacks, but accept their refusal without pressure.

It is polite to offer, but some guests may be insulted if you do not have something available.

one person who lived it

Leave minor setup tasks undone when early guests arrive so you can tackle them while chatting.

Avoids awkward silence by keeping you occupied.

one person who lived it

Post vacation updates only after returning to avoid alerting potential thieves that your home is empty.

Posting real-time updates allows people to know you won't be home for hours.

one person who lived it

Accept clean sheets offered by a host for sleeping on their couch.

It minimizes sweat, drool, and skin cells on their furniture.

one person who lived it

Ask the host what to bring if you are unsure, especially if activities like movies make carrying items inconvenient.

Hosts may not expect gifts if guests have to carry them through venues like theaters.

one person who lived it

Leave the host's space neater than when you arrived and never leave a mess.

5 people, independently

• Clean up thoroughly after spending the night at a friend's place without telling them beforehand.1

Describe a host's holiday decorations as 'cozy' or 'festive' rather than 'warm'.

'Cozy' and 'festive' are preferred descriptors; describing them as 'warm' may cause the host to open windows.

• Describing decorations as 'warm' might make the host uncomfortable enough to open windows.

one person who lived it

Show new guests around your house to point out key areas like the bathroom and establish boundaries.

Familiarity reduces vigilance and defensiveness in unfamiliar places, making guests feel more comfortable.

• Showing guests around the entire house is not standard practice in the UK; pointing out only the bathroom may suffice.

one person who lived it

Pick up after yourself and your children while visiting someone's home.

Refrain from turning the house upside down every time you visit.

one person who lived it

Provide cleaning supplies for messy snacks to accommodate guests who worry about getting dirty.

Some snacks are messy to clothes, faces, and hands, requiring a way to clean up.

one person who lived it

If you realize you are staying late, acknowledge the time and immediately prepare to leave.

This demonstrates thoughtfulness to the host.

one person who lived it

Show guests where essentials like outlets are located and leave unopened consumables such as water or fruit in plain view.

It prevents guests from feeling like they are rummaging through your cabinets.

one person who lived it

Immediately help a guest clean up if they accidentally break something.

It eases their remorse and insecurities, and allows them to feel they are offsetting the damage.

one person who lived it

Keep sanitary products available for guests, as periods can be surprising and availability is reassuring.

Knowing they are available if needed is reassuring.

• Some may assume all women carry their own supplies.

one person who lived it

• Ensure guests know that sanitary supplies are available if needed.1

Plan structured activities, such as board games or music, to keep guests engaged and extend the party.

Games and music can extend the party.

one person who lived it

Buy dark-colored linens for guests so you can plausibly ignore embarrassing stains.

You can plausibly 'fail to notice' them.

one person who lived it

Start washing dishes or sweeping the floor to initiate conversations.

It starts conversations.

one person who lived it

Save a copy of your party invitation and write notes on the back regarding guest count, food quantities served, and items that ran out to simplify future hosting.

It makes hosting in the future easier.

one person who lived it

Choose nearly empty cans or bottles to use as ashtrays at parties to cut down on the impact on the drinker.

It reduces the likelihood of someone drinking from a container containing ash or butts unknowingly.

one person who lived it

Ask directly for a plunger if needed; do not let embarrassment dictate hygiene.

Everybody poops.

one person who lived it

Offer a drink to guests immediately upon their arrival.

It is considered good courtesy and makes them feel welcome.

3 people, independently

If you want to avoid implying a guest was a burden, replace 'you're welcome' with 'of course' or 'thanks for coming'.

Saying 'you're welcome' can acknowledge the effort of hosting (like cleaning) as a burden, whereas alternatives feel more comfortable.

one person who lived it

Set expectations about help with chores or bills in a separate conversation before guests arrive, rather than in the moment.

Discussing it beforehand prevents annoyance during the event.

one person who lived it

Text the host before arriving unannounced.

Otherwise, you may receive cold treatment ('saltines and no drink').

one person who lived it

Do not expect access to the host's stove or oven unless you have coordinated with them well in advance.

Most households have limited cooking surfaces and appliances, which are usually occupied by the host's planned items.

one person who lived it

Thread berries onto rosemary twigs to create decorative stirrers.

It is a significant upgrade for low cost.

one person who lived it

Compliment specific cleaning details like baseboards or dusted corners.

It helps the host justify the effort of cleaning those areas.

one person who lived it

Demonstrate how to use kitchen appliances to guests beforehand, showing settings, operation, and storage locations.

It makes things less awkward.

one person who lived it

Assign easy, non-intrusive chores like taking out the trash or clearing the table to guests who insist on helping.

This accommodates their desire to help without risking misplaced items or conflicting with household systems like dishwashers.

one person who lived it

Communicate specific limitations like temperature settings and shower time limits to guests before they make travel plans.

Providing real data makes expectations unambiguous and allows guests to politely decline if necessary.

one person who lived it

Give plenty of notice when canceling a cookout invitation, avoiding last-minute cancellations.

Hosts invest significant work in cooking, cleaning, and preparing for expected guests.

one person who lived it

Do not share pillows with roommates; keep personal bedding items for exclusive use.

Pillows are considered personal property for exclusive use.

one person who lived it

Keep a simple list of local activities and restaurants ready to suggest to unexpected guests.

Impulsive guests likely lack a plan and will appreciate immediate recommendations.

one person who lived it

Ask specifically for your own belongings back if a roommate is using them, rather than accepting substitutes.

Roommates should be obligated to return specific items when asked.

one person who lived it

In Korea, bring toilet paper for first-time invitations and spam for relatives' invitations.

one person who lived it

Work in food service to realize that nobody cares if you eat alone.

Cleanup is easier for one person, and most solo diners are chill and unproblematic.

one person who lived it

Offer to help clean up after a meal, but accept if the host declines.

The effort is appreciated, but hosts often have specific systems for cleaning.

• If the host says no, do not insist; offer twice then stop.
• At most, stack plates on the table to make them easier to carry.

3 people, independently

• Offer to handle all post-dinner cleaning if you are not the one cooking.1

Ask 'Should I bring anything?' when accepting a dinner invitation to allow the host to specify needs.

This allows the host to suggest items they might be lacking.

• Hosts often politely decline offers even if they would appreciate help.

2 people, independently

Start backyard barbecues later in the day to align with guests' social schedules and encourage them to stay longer.

Guests are less likely to plan on staying all night if the party starts early, such as at 2:00 PM.

one person who lived it

Eat a small snack 20-30 minutes before lunch to avoid overeating.

This helps control portion sizes so you do not over eat.

one person who lived it

If you are non-religious but the host prays, remain silent with your head down.

Shows respect for their beliefs.

one person who lived it

State that you are hungry and making food yourself, then ask if the guest wants to join.

Avoids making the guest feel like a special burden.

one person who lived it

• Explicitly state that you are good at sharing and don't mind if things run low, while pointing to specific items.1
• Offer grazing food instead of insisting guests eat a specific meal to remove obligation.1

Be cautious at drinking events if the hosts have eaten but you have not.

Things could get ugly.

one person who lived it

Stop commenting on other people's diets or meals.

You do not know enough to judge their choices.

one person who lived it

Counter comments about dining alone by asking why others feel weird doing it as adults.

This puts the spotlight on them.

• This approach fails if delivered heatedly or without tact.

one person who lived it

Order food instead of cooking from scratch when hosting to preserve energy for entertaining guests.

Cooking consumes most of a host's energy, leaving little for actual hosting; being an exhausted host is undesirable.

• Some may view this as an excuse for not knowing how to cook.

one person who lived it

Research menus beforehand if you have allergies or dietary restrictions to avoid limited options and wasted money.

Without research, you may end up with very little edible food (e.g., just lettuce garnish) while still paying full price.

one person who lived it

Keep box mixes like brownie mix and add-ins like chocolate chips on hand for quick baking.

It is cheaper than buying prepared items and takes about 30 minutes from start to finish.

one person who lived it

Stick to recipes you have cooked before when hosting guests.

Ensures the result doesn't disappoint.

• Competent cooks may try new dishes if they know the ingredients well.
• Some friends appreciate the effort of trying new dishes.

one person who lived it

Say you made extra food for them rather than calling it leftovers when sharing with neighbors or friends.

Makes the gesture feel more intentional and kind.

• Some view this as lying or bad faith pressure.
• Others prefer 'leftovers' to avoid feeling like a burden.

one person who lived it

If you cannot afford a meal you are invited to, tell the host beforehand so they can plan an alternative.

The host would not mind doing something else if they knew in advance.

one person who lived it

Choose food that is easy to eat and not messy when dining with clients or on dates.

It is difficult to hold a conversation while eating messy foods like burgers, shellfish, or ribs.

one person who lived it

Take your serving dishes home after a potluck rather than leaving them for the host.

It spares the host from washing and return logistics.

one person who lived it

Eat a small snack about an hour before trying unfamiliar foods if you are prone to stomach upset on an empty stomach.

Stomach upset from new foods is more likely when the stomach is near empty.

one person who lived it

Ask the host for permission to bring a backup snack for a picky child to avoid table battles.

Prevents hunger-related meltdowns and conflicts at the table.

one person who lived it

Do not bring dessert to a dinner party unless the host specifically asks for it.

Bringing unrequested dessert may obligate the host to serve it or result in leftovers if both desserts are served.

• Some hosts may not mind having two desserts and serving both.

one person who lived it

Be extremely specific when asking a guest to bring a dish, as they cannot read your mind.

Without clear instructions, they will not change their behavior.

one person who lived it

If no one joins your table, politely ask to move seats by explaining that no one sat at your original table.

People generally welcome this request.

• Moving tables can feel awkward or weird once food service has begun and you have plates and silverware.

one person who lived it

Choose durable, protein- or fiber-rich snacks (such as nuts, jerky, or carrots) to carry as a guest.

They won't crumble or leak in luggage and help you feel full for longer.

one person who lived it

Explicitly ask guests to tell you if they do not like your baked treats so you know not to bring them again.

It prevents bringing the same item again and does not hurt feelings.

one person who lived it

Help with food prep and clean up while cooking to cut down on post-dinner dishes.

Cleaning as you cook makes the final cleanup lighter.

one person who lived it

Eat freely at a buffet when someone treats you, as holding back wastes the host's intention.

Not eating a lot can be seen as rude or a waste of the all-you-can-eat offer.

one person who lived it

Offer food to guests.

Humans like food.

one person who lived it

Do not offer your food to others in the workplace.

You bought it and are eating it; others should pack their own lunch.

one person who lived it

Set out snacks and drinks while chatting with early guests to create a sense of activity.

Makes it feel like there is more going on.

one person who lived it

Offer gum or mints to others when you take one for yourself to avoid appearing rude or selfish.

It is considered basic manners to share food or gum in someone's presence rather than consuming it alone.

10 people, independently

Thank all contributors to a holiday meal, including those who shopped, cleaned, and made sides, not just the main cook.

Preparing the meal involves a lot of work.

one person who lived it

Take leftovers home to save money on dinner and explain that your budget is tight.

It clarifies that you are struggling financially and do not expect to provide food for others.

one person who lived it

Schedule speeches during meals so hungry guests do not wait.

Most people will not care about inside jokes, and keeping hungry people waiting is undesirable.

one person who lived it

If you are helping someone move or work, do not pick the most expensive items when they buy you food.

• One employer stated they would never use helpers who did this again.

one person who lived it

Inform guests in advance if you plan to order food, such as pizza, rather than cooking.

This practice is common in some regions.

one person who lived it

Serve braised short ribs as a main course for events, as they hold up better than broiled beef.

They are an underrated cut that holds well compared to medium-rare broiled beef.

one person who lived it

When inviting guests for a meal, provide an estimated time for when dinner will be served in addition to the arrival time.

Guests should arrive hungry but not starving.

one person who lived it

Save a plate of wedding food for the couple to eat later in their private room.

One person reported it was awesome to eat the food after the wedding ended.

one person who lived it

Do not encourage friends trying to lose weight to have 'cheat meals'.

Such encouragement can lead to overindulgence and regaining weight.

one person who lived it

Seek out restaurants with booth seating if you are in a culture where solo dining is normalized, such as Japan.

Booths allow solo diners to sit without occupying an entire table.

• This applies specifically to cultures like Japan where this is common.

one person who lived it

Feel pity for those who cannot eat alone, rather than those who do.

one person who lived it

Pause briefly before accepting leftovers to appear humble rather than desperate, or accept them to compliment the cook even if you plan to discard them.

It avoids looking like you expected the food, reinforces that the meal was delicious, and prevents the host from feeling forced to reciprocate.

• Some hosts may feel insulted if you refuse food due to cultural norms.
• Do not judge the host's phrasing; focus on their good intentions.

one person who lived it

Do not dump half-eaten food into the sink or load non-dishwasher-safe items into the dishwasher when helping.

This creates extra work for the host, such as clearing drains or fixing improperly loaded dishes.

one person who lived it

Encourage guests to order what they truly want when you are hosting, prioritizing their satisfaction over cost.

It is better to pay more for something a guest will really enjoy than less for something mediocre.

2 people, independently

When someone asks for your drink, offer to share some into a cup rather than giving them the entire container.

This allows them to try it while preserving your portion.

one person who lived it

Take your hosts to a restaurant they enjoy for dinner.

It reduces their hosting burden and lets you return their generosity.

one person who lived it

Close your menus if you are ready to order, and move finished dishes to the side of the table to signal you want the next course or check.

Open menus or items in front of you signal to servers that you have not decided or are still eating.

one person who lived it

Bring finger foods like pretzels, chips, muffins, or flatbread for board game gatherings.

Finger foods are convenient for playing board games.

one person who lived it

Do not take drinks directly off a waiter's tray.

The tray is carefully balanced; removing a cup shifts the balance and risks spilling.

2 people, independently

Serve cream cheese topped with spicy jelly and crackers as a starter.

It is delicious and well received.

one person who lived it

Prepare enough food for every guest plus a little extra, accounting for both abstemious and greedy eaters.

Failing to do so is considered a failure of the host's duty.

one person who lived it

Discuss dinner plans with the primary cook in the household before bringing home surprise food.

It avoids wasted food and effort, and prevents annoyance if they are already cooking.

one person who lived it

Do not reach over someone else's plate to grab items.

It can make others feel uncomfortable and interrupts the flow.

one person who lived it

Post unwanted perishable food from your food bank visit to your neighborhood 'Buy Nothing' group.

Items posted there are often claimed instantly.

one person who lived it

When offering drinks to guests, state that you are getting one for yourself first to avoid making them feel like a burden.

It removes the sense of inconveniencing you.

one person who lived it

Build self-reliance by practicing other solitary activities, such as solo travel, which can make eating out alone easier.

One person found that starting with solo travel was the turning point that removed the difficulty of eating out alone.

one person who lived it

• If you want to build confidence for other solo activities like traveling or backpacking, start by dining alone.1

Do not request a large table when dining alone.

It prevents larger parties from having seating options.

one person who lived it

• Request a booth when dining alone to reduce feelings of exposure.1

Avoid forcefully joining a group for a short period just to avoid eating alone, as it can feel awkward.

Forcefully joining only to ditch them later feels cringy and highlights a fear of eating alone.

one person who lived it

Treat yourself to upscale meals alone to explore new restaurants and enjoy personal time.

It serves as 'me' time and allows eating at places others in your life may not like.

one person who lived it

Politely decline snacks you do not intend to eat to avoid wasting food and creating awkwardness.

It feels bad to see someone throw out a snack you gave them, and holding uneaten food while others watch is awkward.

one person who lived it

Know what you are going to order before arriving at a client lunch.

Fumbling over the menu shows indecisiveness; knowing your order projects confidence.

2 people, independently

Accept store-bought or fast food contributions with gratitude if offered.

The contribution is free food for the gathering.

one person who lived it

Bring mixed nuts or cookies if no one present has allergies.

Mixed nuts are generally well-received, and specific brands of cookies are often popular.

• Do not bring nuts if anyone is allergic.

one person who lived it

Mention water, soda, or juice alongside other drinks when serving guests.

This simplifies the response for non-drinkers and promotes inclusion.

7 people, independently

Sit at the bar or counter when dining alone, as these areas are designed for solo patrons and can ease nervousness.

Bars and counters are pretty much there for solo diners and can resolve nervousness about eating alone.

3 people, independently

• Choose restaurants with bar seating when dining alone in the evening.1

Order modestly when your host does to avoid appearing greedy.

Ordering more or better food than others signals poor character and causes you to come off badly in social situations.

one person who lived it

Ask some guests to bring sides, desserts, or entertainment to increase their investment in the event.

This gets people invested.

one person who lived it

Ask colleagues what they typically do for lunch to open the door for an invitation to join them.

It signals openness and invites them to include you in their plans.

one person who lived it

Set out snacks or drinks within reach of everyone so guests can serve themselves without pressure.

This allows guests to genuinely choose whether to partake or decline.

one person who lived it

Hand the entire container of food to others instead of picking out pieces with your hands.

Touching shared food is unhygienic and can appear stingy or rude.

one person who lived it

When a group cannot decide where to eat, ask people to eliminate foods they do not want rather than proposing options.

It is far faster to reach a decision this way, as people often just accept anything said when they cannot decide.

one person who lived it

Eat something light before attending special occasions like weddings.

Events often start late, food service may be delayed, or the food provided may be unsatisfactory; being full keeps you patient rather than hangry.

2 people, independently

Use solo dining as a way to recharge or escape from dating and social pressures.

It can be liberating to have alone time away from dating.

one person who lived it

Bring a phone, laptop, book, or magazine to read or use while dining alone to occupy your time.

Having a device is described as a blessing for these moments; books can also provide conversation starters if someone recognizes them.

4 people, independently

Bring a gift or dish to a dinner party even if not asked, as a sign of politeness.

It is considered polite etiquette.

one person who lived it

Bring back local food items instead of traditional souvenirs to share with friends and family.

It serves as a good conversation starter about culture.

one person who lived it

Keep dinner conversations with friends under four people for a great experience.

Anything over detracts from the conversation.

one person who lived it

Substitute expensive baked goods with a fruit tray and dip, such as yogurt and brown sugar.

It is a frugal alternative that is always popular.

one person who lived it

Sit at the bar to chat with the bartender if you want conversation while dining alone.

Bartenders usually have great conversations and often start chatting you up if it's not too busy.

one person who lived it

Label food containers with your name if you want them returned, and avoid making pasta-based dishes.

Unlabeled containers may linger for months waiting for owners; pasta dishes can lead to monotony.

one person who lived it

Accept offers of free drinks from employers even if you have already eaten elsewhere, as it is not a faux pas.

Since they offered and you accepted, there is nothing wrong with it, especially if you only had food previously.

one person who lived it

Take home leftover food or drinks from restaurants without feeling guilty.

Leftovers often go straight to landfill, and some places have bottle deposits.

one person who lived it

Start with low-stakes environments like breakfast places, coffee shops, or fast cheap restaurants to build confidence.

3 people, independently

Fill your plate according to your actual hunger and simply tell the host the meal was awesome, rather than manipulating portion sizes for social points.

Using tricks to manage portions leads to overthinking and acting unnatural.

one person who lived it

Address food theft calmly and directly rather than letting resentment fester.

Avoiding the issue leads to an awkward living environment.

one person who lived it

Leave communal food in a shared space for everyone to take, citing overbuying.

Making it clear that the food is for everyone prevents anyone from feeling singled out or embarrassed.

one person who lived it

Host events and invite people yourself rather than waiting to be invited.

one person who lived it

Avoid lingering for hours after finishing your meal or drink.

Prolonging your stay just to loiter is viewed differently than dining.

one person who lived it

Return borrowed dishes with a small treat, such as cookies.

Returning empty dishes is considered bad luck.

one person who lived it

• Return borrowed food containers cleaned.1

Search online for cooking methods that make disliked foods palatable.

You may find surprising variety in answers.

one person who lived it

Eat a small amount before going to someone's house so you are not starving upon arrival.

Food may not be ready immediately upon arrival.

one person who lived it

Respect a host's generosity by avoiding orders of high-cost dishes.

The offer reflects goodwill, not an invitation to spend lavishly.

3 people, independently

Ask before joining an acquaintance for lunch to avoid seeming presumptuous.

Sitting down without asking is considered presumptuous.

one person who lived it

Offer a specific choice between two food options instead of asking generally if someone wants anything.

Reduces awkwardness and gives people confidence/autonomy in their decision.

2 people, independently

Order moderately when dining with a romantic partner's parents to show respect, avoiding excessive luxury unless you know their preferences.

Ordering expensive items like steak while others eat burgers can make you appear snobbish.

one person who lived it

Eat the food yourself in front of a toddler rather than offering it directly; one person reported this triggered the child to ask for it.

• Based on one person's experience with their toddler.

one person who lived it

Do not feel obligated to purchase expensive items from neighbors who run home businesses for casual gatherings.

Hosts are not required to turn social events into business transactions; casual get-togethers do not need gourmet food.

one person who lived it

Use lentils as a cheap substitute for hamburger meat in dishes like sloppy joes.

one person who lived it

Bring a book to a nice restaurant instead of an electronic device.

one person who lived it

Select freezer-friendly or non-refrigerated items like enchiladas if the recipient will be away or doing errands.

These options ensure safety and convenience if the recipient cannot refrigerate immediately.

one person who lived it

Bring your own lunch to control ingredients and ensure dietary requirements like organic, non-GMO, or halal are met.

one person who lived it

Seek community meals at religious institutions or libraries for free food and social connection.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge servers and help identify plates when they arrive, rather than ignoring them to continue conversation.

one person who lived it

Use a stiff-arm technique with arms out straight and a pat on the shoulder to signal the end of a hug attempt without full contact.

The patting signals 'we're done here.'

• Use the 'stop' hand signal if you cannot put out a handshake in time.

one person who lived it

In the Southern U.S., acknowledge passersby with a smile, 'hi,' or nod.

Failing to do so is considered rude by locals.

• This custom may be different in other regions, such as northeastern states.

one person who lived it

Embrace stuffed toys or pillows to mimic physical comfort when human touch is not available.

It may provide similar comfort to hugging another object.

• It's not the same as being hugged.

3 people, independently

If you are a large man, be conscious of your strength and shake petite women's hands lightly to avoid causing pain.

Large men may have significant hand strength and lack feeling, potentially hurting smaller partners.

one person who lived it

Offer a knuckle bump before the other person can think of a hug.

People often conform to a pound.

one person who lived it

If you mess up a handshake, move on quickly rather than dwelling on it.

People who get upset over such a small thing are not worth giving too much attention to.

one person who lived it

Do not touch others without consent, and never touch strangers.

Some people hate being touched.

one person who lived it

• Always ask for verbal consent before hugging or touching anyone.1

Match the pressure of the other person's handshake rather than trying to dominate or submit.

Too much pressure seems like overcompensating, while too little seems unprofessional; matching energy helps nervous people feel comfortable.

• Do not match them if they have bad form.
• One approach is to stay slightly under their firmness if you are larger to avoid crunching them.

3 people, independently

Greet with a wave or verbal hello if unsure about physical contact.

Waving is cheerful, platonic, and friendly; many people do not want to be touched without permission.

3 people, independently

When handing a valuable object to someone, face it up in your open palm and allow them to take it.

This is safer than releasing the object down into their hand.

one person who lived it

Ask new friends explicitly if they are okay with a hug when saying goodbye.

They will either agree or offer an alternative.

one person who lived it

• Read body language before attempting a hug to determine if it will be warmly received.1
• Verbalize your intent to hug before attempting it, such as asking 'Do you do hugs?' while opening your arms.4
• Clarify that you only hug family or very close friends to avoid offending acquaintances.1
• Let the other person start the embrace if you are uncertain about their comfort level, ensuring you stay safe.3

Hold beverages in your right hand if you have damp palms.

You can dry your hands using the drink's condensation as cover, making wet grips seem natural.

6 people, independently

• Keep beverages in your left hand during social gatherings or networking functions.15

Loosen your grip slightly after a few shakes.

To signal that you are ready to release the handshake.

one person who lived it

Ask if a hug would help rather than asking if you can hug.

Asking permission can make people feel pressured; framing it as whether the hug helps removes that pressure.

one person who lived it

Stand up when shaking hands.

It is an unwritten law that makes interactions run more smoothly and shows respect.

one person who lived it

• Stand up when shaking hands with someone you are meeting for the first time.3

Shake hands with women in mixed groups to avoid appearing sexist or inconsistent in your greeting behavior.

Skipping women while shaking men's hands is perceived as sexist and awkward.

3 people, independently

Smile and maintain eye contact (or look at the nose bridge) when shaking hands, even if the grip is weak.

You will get brownie points despite a weak handshake.

2 people, independently

Keep a firm but not crushing grip when shaking hands, avoiding squeezing until the webbing of your thumb touches the other person's webbing.

The purpose is to instill a sense of security and sincerity, not to assert dominance.

• A crush shake can re-damage a healing finger.

one person who lived it

• Grab deep towards the webbing of the thumb and ensure the webs lock before closing your hand.1

Hug male friends who rarely receive hugs.

Many people go unnoticed and lack this form of affection.

one person who lived it

Limit your handshake to three pumps to avoid appearing inappropriate.

Shaking more than thrice is perceived as 'playing with it'.

one person who lived it

If you are selecting a best man or maid of honor, choose someone known for being reliable and calm to help manage unexpected issues.

One person found this approach worked well for handling hiccups.

one person who lived it

For male friends, offer a brief bro-hug with a solid pat on the back.

It is nearly always appreciated.

one person who lived it

Avoid hand-kissing unless you are sure it will come off as charming.

If you are unsure how you are coming off, it is likely creepy.

one person who lived it

Hold a drink, phone, or water bottle to feel at ease; take a sip of water if you feel anxious to break tension.

Having something in your hand makes you feel more at ease, and drinking water breaks tension.

one person who lived it

Look at the other person's hand initially to ensure contact, then switch to eye contact once the grip is established.

To avoid missing the hand.

one person who lived it

Accept that preferring cuddling and hugging over sex is normal and valid.

Cuddling is important for bonding, and society often confuses people with its focus on sex.

one person who lived it

Stand up to shake hands when meeting someone new while seated.

Remaining seated can convey rudeness or appearing as though you do not have time for them.

one person who lived it

Treat handshaking as a basic courtesy learned before kindergarten rather than a competitive game.

If you think it is a competitive game, you have already lost life.

one person who lived it

Curl your middle finger inward to tickle the other person's palm during a handshake to distract them from crushing your hand.

The distraction causes them to forget to crush your hand.

one person who lived it

Stop hugging people who have not offered or asked for a hug, even if you identify as a 'hugger'.

It comes across as creepy and invades personal space.

one person who lived it

If left hanging during a handshake or high-five, shake your own hand or high-five yourself to diffuse the awkwardness.

It shows you are comfortable in your own company and can brush it off, which may impress onlookers.

one person who lived it

Keep the handshake brief, lasting about half a second.

Any longer becomes awkward.

one person who lived it

Be honest and communicate your hugging preferences directly, unless it is a rare exception like a work event.

Doing otherwise can feel dishonest.

• Exceptions may include work events.

one person who lived it

Ask permission before shaking a celebrity's hand to avoid being invasive.

Asking if it is okay to thank them prevents creeping them out.

one person who lived it

Calibrate your greeting style based on the specific group's culture and dynamics.

Greeting norms depend on the culture of the people you are interacting with.

one person who lived it

Let the person being greeted decide whether you should stand up by allowing them to say 'don't get up'.

It prevents disturbing the person sitting if they prefer not to be disturbed.

one person who lived it

Initiate hugs yourself if you prefer not to have your chest rubbed against strangers.

As a female, initiating allows control over the contact.

one person who lived it

Consider cultural norms regarding cheek kissing; in some countries it is standard for women, while in others it is offensive.

In countries where it is uncommon, it can be highly offensive.

one person who lived it

Hold leather folders or notepads in your non-dominant hand to prevent contact-induced sweating on your shaking hand.

Contact with leather can cause the hand to sweat.

one person who lived it

In casual settings like church mingles, skip formal handshakes and introductions; instead, walk up and use casual conversation starters like asking how they are or commenting on the event.

Formal handshakes can feel too job-like for casual church mingles among peers.

• Some churches may be too formal for this approach.

one person who lived it

Interact with a friend's partner and ask about them before initiating physical contact like hugging.

Consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

one person who lived it

• Do not initiate physical contact unless it has been established earlier in the relationship.2

Avoid squeezing the other person's hand too early before full contact is made.

Squeezing too early results in grabbing the tips of the fingers, creating an awkward situation.

2 people, independently

When unsure about greeting a woman, use a simple smile and verbal greeting ('hi') or a nod/wave instead of physical contact.

3 people, independently

Read the room and context to decide between handshakes, fist bumps, or waves.

Handshakes are expected in corporate environments or with older crowds, while casual settings may differ.

one person who lived it

• Greet people in professional settings with waves, handshakes, or knuckle bumps instead of hugs.1

Radiate a smiling greeting without physical touch to ensure you appear safe and non-creepy.

Women feel safe when others seem soft and not creepy; touching an acquaintance's shoulder is often inappropriate.

one person who lived it

Consider that greeting customs may vary by region.

Differences exist between places like New York and other parts of the US or Europe.

one person who lived it

Start with a brief half-hug using one arm around the shoulder to reduce intimidation.

Less body contact may be less intimidating.

one person who lived it

Wave goodbye to acquaintances but hug long-term friends.

Hugging someone you just met is inappropriate based on personal experience.

one person who lived it

Do not assume upper management lacks respect if they do not introduce themselves in return; consider that they may be nervous or distracted.

Becoming management does not make one suave, and distraction is a common reason for omission.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge that assessing character through handshake firmness is baseless and absurd.

It holds no actual significance.

3 people, independently

Ask locals about social customs when traveling for business to ensure appropriate greetings.

Customs vary by location, such as cheek kisses being unthinkable in the UK compared to other places.

one person who lived it

Have a strong handshake and remember people's names.

It is very important that you remember people's names.

one person who lived it

Use hand gestures, such as pointing, nodding, or a chopping motion, to indicate your intended direction.

These 'human turn signals' help others understand where you are going without verbal communication.

2 people, independently

Drop your shoulder and add momentum to assert your path confidently.

Assertive body language provides a sense of control and empowerment.

one person who lived it

Use a fist bump for informal greetings to maintain friendly but non-invasive boundaries.

It signals friendliness without entering personal space.

one person who lived it

Avoid crushing handshakes intended to assert dominance.

It can make you appear overcompensating or aggressive.

one person who lived it

Be aware that advice to 'be a cave man' regarding physical affection may be figurative rather than literal.

• One person wished they had realized earlier that such advice was meant figuratively.

one person who lived it

If someone does not return a hug, assume they may simply be uncomfortable or did not think of it, and move on without taking it personally.

3 people, independently

Seek professional physical touch through registered massage therapists or cuddle parties if comfortable.

3 people, independently

Understand that hyperbolic ideas of manhood and rejection of male affection often stem from viewing homosexuality as a threat to the patriarchal status quo.

one person who lived it

One approach that helped: directly initiate physical affection, such as putting an arm around a partner or cuddling, rather than waiting.

one person who lived it

Do not assign nicknames to people you do not know well.

It can be exhausting if you do not like nicknames.

one person who lived it

Do not point out a person's accent.

It gets old and can make non-native speakers feel bad.

one person who lived it

Never make fun of or laugh at someone for mispronouncing a word.

Everyone makes mistakes, and mispronunciations can stem from reading, speech impediments, or different accents; understanding is what matters.

• There is no single correct accent as long as mutual understanding exists.

7 people, independently

Stop telling tall people they are tall.

They already know and have likely heard it many times recently.

one person who lived it

In professional settings, use 'Yes' or ask for a person's preferred form of address instead of using gendered titles like 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'.

Gendered titles can be misused (e.g., 'Sir' for women), and some people have specific preferences.

• Some individuals may explicitly request a specific title, such as a female coach insisting on 'Sir'.

one person who lived it

Do not ask to call someone by a different name or nickname unless they explicitly offer one.

It implies you do not care enough to learn their actual name.

one person who lived it

Introduce yourself quickly if you suspect the person you are with has forgotten someone they haven't seen in a long time.

It helps the person you are with if they have forgotten the other person's name, or if they forget your name in the face of an old flame.

• This assumes you do not also know the person being introduced.

one person who lived it

Ask for the spelling of a difficult name when meeting someone for the first time.

It allows you to visualize the name and helps with memory.

3 people, independently

Women can use terms like 'Sir', 'dude', 'bro', or 'ma'am' when addressing men to signal a lack of romantic interest.

These terms create distance and clearly indicate that the interaction is not romantic.

• The signal is blunt rather than subtle.

one person who lived it

If you have a name that is frequently joked about, use the jokes yourself to help people understand your name.

It disarms the joke forever and helps people remember your name.

one person who lived it

• Avoid making name jokes that rely on common references, as the person likely knows them and is only pretending to be amused to spare your feelings.2
• Recognize that people often make name jokes to entertain themselves rather than to amuse the person with the name.2

Correct people who mispronounce your name, asserting that you define its pronunciation.

It is not rude to correct them; if they feel offended, it is their ego problem.

2 people, independently

• Give minimal energy or ignore people who continue to mispronounce your name after you have corrected them twice.2

Offer an easier-to-pronounce nickname or alias if you are comfortable with it, to reduce friction for others.

• You might not want to do that.

5 people, independently

Inquire about name pronunciation upon first meeting, particularly if future interactions are expected.

Asking allows them to avoid correcting you later; it stops mispronunciations from spreading at work; many appreciate the effort.

• Some individuals find being asked annoying and tiring.

4 people, independently

• Repeat your name out loud two or three times during introductions to help others pronounce it correctly from the start.1

Use rhymes or comparisons as memory aids to help others pronounce your name correctly.

This approach tends to be less offensive and works well for those not being deliberately rude.

• Some mispronunciations are unavoidable if the name contains sounds not present in the listener's language.

3 people, independently

• Use a funny quip or mnemonic to help with the pronunciation of a difficult name during introductions.1

Defend children's right to take time to adjust to new people rather than forcing interaction or labeling them.

Labels can really stick.

one person who lived it

Do not mock people with foreign accents.

It demonstrates they likely know multiple languages and are still learning English.

2 people, independently

Ask a bartender for their name at the end of your interaction, not the beginning.

Asking immediately may lead them to assume you will use their name as a substitute for 'waiter'.

one person who lived it

Be aware that your name may have a vulgar meaning in English-speaking countries if it is innocent in your native language.

The name Fanny means ass in the USA and vagina in the UK/Australia, causing annoyance for French speakers.

one person who lived it

Reframe a mispronunciation as evidence that the person learned the word through reading rather than hearing it spoken.

Mispronouncing words often indicates intellectual engagement with texts where proper pronunciation was not heard, rather than stupidity.

• The person might be a non-native English speaker.
• They might have learned from someone else who mispronounced it.

2 people, independently

Do not point out obvious references or make puns about someone's name, as they have likely heard them many times and do not appreciate them.

They are most likely not fond of hearing these jokes repeatedly.

2 people, independently

If you butcher a patient's or client's name, apologize and ask for the correct pronunciation.

People are usually happy to tell you how to pronounce their name when asked politely.

one person who lived it

Assume positive intentions when colleagues use formal titles like 'ma'am' or 'sir', as this is often a sign of respect and politeness rather than offense.

In some cultures, such as in the South, these terms are standard signs of respect.

one person who lived it

Include the phonetic pronunciation of your name in your email signature and all communications sent home.

It helps others tackle difficult last names when they are unsure how to say them.

one person who lived it

Use polite corrections as a filter for character; if someone continues using the wrong name after three polite corrections, consider them not worth hanging out with.

Persistent misuse after correction serves as a good 'asshole detector'.

one person who lived it

If someone forgets your name, pretend you have forgotten theirs to spare them embarrassment.

so they don't feel bad

one person who lived it

Do not label someone as shy or nervous when introducing them to a group.

Labeling creates embarrassment, compounds the problem, adds stress, and can be seen as announcing something is wrong with the person or gaining power over them.

one person who lived it

Ask nervous interviewees if they prefer their full name or a shortened version to give them an easy way to take control of the conversation.

It provides a simple question that requires little thought and empowers the interviewee.

one person who lived it

State your name immediately at the start of a phone conversation instead of just saying 'Hello'.

This prevents listeners from making gender-based assumptions about your voice.

one person who lived it

Respond to unwanted pet names by politely addressing the speaker as 'son' to signal discomfort without aggression.

This may cause them to think before saying it to another woman.

• One source feels this approach is needlessly rude for something so small.

one person who lived it

Ask permission before using a nickname rather than assuming it is acceptable.

Inventing a nickname is worse than butchering a name.

one person who lived it

Respond to being called 'girl' casually by using gender-neutral or masculine terms like 'bruh' or 'dude' back.

Matching the casual tone helps maintain rapport.

one person who lived it

Address someone by their name instead of saying 'hello' to initiate conversation.

People love hearing their own names.

one person who lived it

Repeat a new acquaintance's name back to them during introductions.

It shows that you are listening.

one person who lived it

Make a genuine effort to pronounce a person's name correctly rather than butchering it or assigning a nickname.

Using a name improperly or refusing to learn it can be perceived as disrespectful or insulting.

2 people, independently

Avoid publicly correcting others' pronunciations.

Public corrections are rarely altruistic and are mostly perceived as attempts to make oneself feel smarter or as passive-aggressive behavior.

• Some people prefer to be corrected if they are making a mistake, provided it is done without being a 'dick'.

one person who lived it

Tell people upfront that you are bad at remembering names and apologize in advance.

It improves your chances of remembering the name and makes forgetting more acceptable later.

one person who lived it

Address female customers as 'Miss' or 'Ma'am' rather than 'Lady' or 'Madam'.

'Miss' or 'Ma'am' sounds more natural; 'Madam' can feel weird and 'Lady' sounds unnatural.

one person who lived it

Use common, standard spellings for children's names to avoid administrative difficulties.

Uncommon spellings require constant correction and can cause issues with banks and flights if IDs do not match tickets exactly.

one person who lived it

Avoid using pet names like 'mama' or 'babygirl' with strangers, as they can be perceived as disrespectful and uncomfortable.

These terms make some people feel uncomfortable and are not considered respectful, especially as one gets older.

one person who lived it

Consider context and power dynamics when deciding if a pet name is appropriate; avoid them in professional settings where hierarchy exists.

A boss using a pet name would be uncomfortable, though an older person using a paternal term might differ depending on context.

one person who lived it

Use parallel grammatical structures when referring to mixed-gender groups (e.g., male/female adjectives) to avoid dehumanization.

Using nouns like 'men' with 'girls' or 'ladies' is a red or orange flag.

one person who lived it

In Southern US contexts, use 'Lady' as a polite, age-neutral term for adult women.

In this region, 'Lady' denotes a person of polite society without carrying an age connotation.

one person who lived it

Reiterate names for reinforcement to help people remember them.

It helps them remember.

one person who lived it

Use 'y'all', 'folks', or 'everyone' as gender-neutral alternatives to 'guys' when addressing groups.

These terms keep things gender neutral and avoid the unnecessary nature of 'ladies'.

3 people, independently

Adjust your use of gendered honorifics based on regional cultural norms rather than applying a single standard everywhere.

Social rules regarding terms like 'ma'am' vary by location; what is polite in one region may upset people in another.

one person who lived it

Recognize that regional and cultural norms heavily influence the use of terms like 'dear', 'sweetheart', or 'luv'.

Southern people are reported to constantly use these terms, suggesting a regional or cultural basis.

one person who lived it

Watch television with subtitles to learn the correct pronunciation of words encountered in writing.

This method negates the problem of not knowing how written words sound.

one person who lived it

Avoid praising adults for mispronouncing words, as this approach is perceived as condescending.

It comes across as condescending quickly.

one person who lived it

Learn the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA) to accurately read pronunciation guides in reference materials.

The IPA writes down sounds objectively based on mouth movements, whereas vowel differences in other methods can reveal incorrect pronunciation; public education usually fails to teach it.

one person who lived it

Verify the pronunciation of a speaker's name and institution before introducing them to avoid embarrassment.

Mispronouncing these details can lead to being called out and feeling embarrassed.

one person who lived it

Ensure employees check phonetic spellings provided by clients, as ignoring them can lead to public embarrassment.

Ignoring corrections despite phonetic spelling given at rehearsal led to a name being absolutely butchered at a college graduation.

one person who lived it

Ask to double-check the spelling of your name whenever it is written down by others to prevent errors.

one person who lived it

Interpret being called 'girl' by women in casual conversation as a sign of comfort and familiarity.

It functions similarly to 'bro' or a filler word expressing excitement, indicating you are 'one of us'.

one person who lived it

Partner with someone to share audiobooks and physical books, helping each other with spelling and pronunciation respectively.

This exchange allows one person to help with spelling (useful for dyslexia) while the other helps with pronunciation.

one person who lived it

Do not mention if someone resembles a famous individual upon first meeting them.

They have probably heard this comparison numerous times already.

one person who lived it

Avoid calling colleagues 'Missy', as it is perceived as unprofessional and patronizing.

The term sounds like a parent or teacher scolding a child, diminishing the recipient's authority.

one person who lived it

Acknowledge that English spelling is not phonetic and contains complex heuristics with many exceptions, making self-learning difficult.

English spelling and pronunciation rarely match.

one person who lived it

Be socially gracious and consider the friendly intentions behind incorrect nicknames rather than responding with condescension.

Nicknames are generally given out of endearment or playful teasing.

one person who lived it

Write your drink order in a text message to no one and show the screen to the bartender.

Talking is difficult in loud bars.

2 people, independently

Do not include inside jokes in the speech.

The speech is for the audience, not you; inside jokes often result in blank stares from the room.

2 people, independently

Leave your phone in the car during client meetings to prevent interruptions; return missed calls afterward with an apology.

It prevents the pain of ringing during meetings, and no one has complained about this approach.

• Based on one person's experience with 4 to 6 meetings a day

one person who lived it

Assume call center agents can hear you when on hold, as they may have only muted their end rather than placing you on actual hold.

Supervisors often base bonuses on 'hold time,' so reps may mute themselves to ask coworkers questions while you remain connected.

5 people, independently

• If placed on hold without music, mute your microphone because the agent can likely still hear you.2

Assume customer service agents can see text typed in chat boxes before you hit send.

An agent once answered a question that had been deleted from the text box before sending.

3 people, independently

• Draft messages in a word processor or text pad before pasting them into company chat boxes, assuming keystrokes may be monitored.1
• Be careful in live chat windows, since support agents frequently view your keystrokes before you hit send.4

Eat soft foods or boil food to mush to cut down on chewing noises.

To cut down on chewing noises.

• Boiling food to mush may cause potential lip smacking noises.

one person who lived it

Avoid using speakerphone in public spaces; use headphones or earpieces instead.

Public speakerphone use is annoying to others and makes the user appear rude.

• Some people with hearing difficulties require speakerphone as a necessity.

4 people, independently

• Avoid using speakerphone for private conversations, especially in public or professional settings, to prevent others from overhearing sensitive details.2

Use speakerphone if you have poor hearing and are doing tasks with your hands, such as cooking or driving.

It helps when you have poor hearing while performing manual tasks.

one person who lived it

• If you are hard of hearing, ask callers to take you off speakerphone or call you back on a regular line.1

Presume you are being listened to when placed on hold without audio, and refrain from speaking negatively.

It is quite possible you are merely muted while the agent continues to hear you.

4 people, independently

Unplug from music and podcasts during downtime, such as on a train, to focus entirely on one task like reading a book.

To learn how to be present for just one thing.

one person who lived it

Agree with friends to put all phones in a box together when meeting up.

This massively increases the quality of the evenings.

one person who lived it

Assume the person on the other end can hear you even if you cannot hear them.

The other party may have muted their microphone but is still listening.

one person who lived it

Mute your microphone immediately when placed on hold during customer service calls.

Calls are often recorded continuously, including hold times, so anything you say may be captured and potentially used against you.

25 people, independently

When answering a call on speakerphone or Bluetooth in a car, immediately announce that you are on speaker and list everyone present.

People assume the conversation is private; this prevents them from revealing personal information they wouldn't share if others were listening.

8 people, independently

• Assume someone else is silently listening during business-related calls made on speakerphone.3
• If unsure whether the caller knows you are on speaker, warn them regardless to ensure they keep their language appropriate for an audience.2
• Avoid discussing sensitive topics about employees or colleagues while on speakerphone with others present.2
• Avoid discussing sensitive information over car Bluetooth speakers while parked, as people outside can hear you.2

If a child is present on speakerphone, avoid jokes that could be mistaken for serious threats.

A child may interpret the joke as a real threat and become distressed.

one person who lived it

Avoid initiating chats with people wearing headphones, as this typically indicates they prefer not to converse.

Headphones serve as a universal cue for non-interaction; some users wear them specifically to signal this or to mute internal thoughts.

• Work or school-related matters for a coworker or classmate are likely fine.
• Bother them if it is worthwhile.

3 people, independently

Be aware that standing still without a phone in public can make you feel weird or like you are staring at the wall.

The alternative to using a phone can feel uncomfortable, making one feel like they are acting strangely.

one person who lived it

Do not use your phone while waiting to leave with a group.

Pulling out your phone comes across as signaling that you are bored of the people around you.

one person who lived it

Use different sized earbud tips for each ear to improve comfort and fit.

Ear canals are often not equal in size.

2 people, independently

Keep your phone in your purse on silent during interviews until asked if you have questions, then use it to read prepared questions.

It shows a level of preparedness.

one person who lived it

Never take out or fiddle with your phone during conversations.

It reveals that you are nervous, even if you think you are hiding it.

one person who lived it

Do not rely on call recordings to prove a case against a company.

Companies may refuse to play the tapes for customers.

one person who lived it

Keep your speech under five minutes, aiming for three.

to maintain audience attention

2 people, independently

Do not discuss illegal activities or scams while on hold with insurance companies, as calls are often saved and reviewed.

Companies save every call and have caught people admitting to fraud during hold times.

one person who lived it

Use your phone as a prop to initiate a goodbye when a conversation is dragging on.

It helps quickly end the interaction.

one person who lived it

• Let a conversation in a line fade naturally and use your phone; do not force it to continue.1

Use a microphone with a hardware mute switch to ensure silence.

It provides a reliable way to cut audio.

one person who lived it

Assume any microphone is live, as some mute buttons only lower the volume rather than cutting audio completely.

Some headsets have in-line mute buttons that just drop the level, allowing sound to still be heard.

one person who lived it

Assume that people outside your vehicle can hear your Bluetooth phone conversations clearly.

Car audio systems often act like massive speakers.

one person who lived it

• Be aware that car Bluetooth systems can amplify phone calls, making them audible to people in nearby vehicles or enclosed spaces.1

Build a genuinely busy life with other activities to gain internal validation rather than relying on external validation from phones.

Internal validation stays with you unlike external validation from phones.

• Being genuinely busy does not mean ignoring other people.

one person who lived it

Do not wave your hands in front of someone wearing headphones to get their attention.

It is especially annoying.

one person who lived it

Compliment the representative to someone nearby while on hold.

It may encourage them to provide better service or go the extra mile.

4 people, independently

Do not answer calls or text while checking out at the grocery store; wait until you are in your car or outside.

It is considered disrespectful and can delay service for others.

one person who lived it

If someone is eating politely but still sounds noisy to you, leave the room or use earplugs rather than confronting them.

Confronting them in this scenario makes you sound rude.

one person who lived it

Adopt a friendly tone and use manners during phone calls, especially when requesting services from stressed workers.

It helps get people to assist you even if they are having a bad day.

one person who lived it

Ask if you are permitted to record the call if the company states they are recording it.

For clarity and honesty.

one person who lived it

Avoid playing loud media in enclosed public spaces like buses or waiting rooms where people cannot easily leave.

It is obnoxious because the setting isolates people without an option to walk away.

one person who lived it

Politely assert yourself when someone is rude with their phone to prevent people from walking all over you.

A polite request often solves the problem immediately.

one person who lived it

Understand that cheap apartment construction may transmit noise easily, making even quiet walking audible to neighbors.

The floors may be thin enough only to hold up rugs, not to dampen sound.

one person who lived it

Put away personal phones during the ceremony if a professional photographer is present.

Phones can block camera angles, which is unfair to the couple paying for professional coverage.

one person who lived it

Tell fun stories or narrate what you are doing to entertain potential listeners while on hold.

It provides something for people potentially listening to hear.

3 people, independently

Use headsets instead of speakerphones for hands-free calling to improve audio quality and reduce disjointed conversation.

Speakerphone quality is poor and conversations are more disjointed.

• One person reported developing hearing damage after wearing a headset for years.

one person who lived it

Mute your phone completely if you need to use the restroom while on hold to avoid broadcasting bodily noises.

Agents may return to the line unexpectedly.

one person who lived it

Turn down car speakers when using hands-free mode so people nearby cannot overhear.

Car speakers are located in the doors, allowing everyone around to hear the conversation.

one person who lived it

Avoid admitting fault or providing incriminating details while on hold, as these statements can be recorded.

Recorded admissions can lead to denied claims or negative consequences.

one person who lived it

Turn off mono audio when returning to two earbuds to restore better sound quality.

It sounds better

one person who lived it

Assume every business communication is being recorded and avoid saying anything you wouldn't want others to hear.

Company voice systems are often expected to record everything.

one person who lived it

Wear earbuds without playing audio to signal unavailability while allowing you to hear conversations around you.

People become more confident that you cannot hear them and may speak more freely.

2 people, independently

• Wear headphones or earbuds even without playing audio to appear busy and discourage interruptions at work.1

Avoid moving food around excessively in your mouth to prevent saliva buildup and noise.

Moving food moves saliva into wrong places where it builds up and makes a racket.

one person who lived it

Play explicit music if you suspect someone has placed you on speakerphone without permission.

This will likely cause them to remove you from speakerphone quickly.

one person who lived it

Unpair your phone from shared vehicles, such as company cars, after use to prevent eavesdropping on future calls.

Previous users may remain within range and overhear sensitive conversations.

one person who lived it

Turn off non-emergency phone notifications to reduce the compulsion to check for messages.

It stops the habit of checking often; now you sometimes get a surprise notification.

one person who lived it

Verify that your microphone is muted by speaking after muting to ensure no sound is transmitted.

Mute functions can fail, leading to embarrassing moments like others hearing personal activities.

one person who lived it

Avoid intimate or explicit language on speakerphone unless you are sure no one else is listening.

Intimate details shared with a romantic partner might be overheard by others.

2 people, independently

Do not engage in negative gossip or offensive opinions on speakerphone.

One person got written up for calling technicians 'assholes or complete idiots' while unaware they were on speaker. Another noted this is an issue primarily when talking shit about people or sharing offensive racial opinions.

2 people, independently

Share only the specific application window during remote meetings instead of your entire screen.

Sharing the whole screen broadcasts private notifications like Slack messages, emails, and ticket updates.

one person who lived it

Stop using your phone constantly; focus on real-life goals and hobbies, and only pick up the phone when absolutely necessary.

one person who lived it

Communicate frustration calmly rather than aggressively, as agents may intentionally pass angry callers to let them cool off.

Aggression is counterproductive; agents may route angry customers away.

one person who lived it

If you must use a device in a restaurant, get a corner seat, wear headphones, and lower the screen brightness.

one person who lived it

Do not badmouth customers to colleagues within earshot of the caller.

one person who lived it

Wait until a private conversation is fully over before interrupting, rather than waiting for a pause.

Interrupting negates the effort for privacy made by those talking privately.

one person who lived it

Try 'kamikaze karaoke' where friends sign each other up for random songs without prior knowledge.

It is less stressful because there is no pressure if you perform poorly since you didn't pick the song.

one person who lived it

Play generic decade-based playlists like '2000s hits' when asked to DJ.

It is basic but gets the job done, whereas even hot playlists will generate complaints.

one person who lived it

Do not play 'Pumped Up Kicks' at schools.

The lyrics describe a school shooting from the perpetrator's perspective.

one person who lived it

Ask the person what they love about the song they are sharing.

Their eyes may light up, showing their enthusiasm.

one person who lived it

Sing and dance in private spaces like a car to avoid being seen or heard by others.

You can be gone in a second if anyone hears or sees you.

one person who lived it

Test your singing quality by singing to a cat.

You will find out quickly what they think of your singing.

one person who lived it

Show a friend the song that best represents the band's overall theme rather than an outlier track.

Outliers can paint a false image of the artist.

one person who lived it

Do not use 'Time of the Season' for children's dance routines.

It contains sexually suggestive lyrics.

one person who lived it

If you cannot carry a tune, choose a rap song for karaoke to cut down on melodic requirements.

Some popular songs are tough for even trained vocalists; rap songs are usually crowd pleasers.

one person who lived it

Interpret a lack of reaction or continued talking as a sign that the listener does not like the song or is not in the mood to listen.

Demanding attention for a song while casually hanging out can be seen as self-centered or narcissistic.

one person who lived it

Select a song where the original singer has a notoriously bad voice, such as 'Just a Friend' by Biz Markie.

It allows everyone to sing terribly together, creating a win-win situation.

one person who lived it

Reframe singing 'Happy Birthday' as a mutual social contract where everyone gets to embarrass each other.

The point is mutual embarrassment rather than performance.

• Some people reject this contract and refuse to sing or have a song sung.

one person who lived it

Ask for a link to a song someone wants to show you and listen to it on your own time.

It lets you form your own opinion and reduces the pressure of reacting immediately to the sender's excitement.

one person who lived it

• Send a link to the song instead of forcing someone to listen to it immediately in person.2
• Tell friends about songs you love rather than playing them immediately, allowing them to listen privately without waiting for your reaction.1

Avoid playing 'Born in the U.S.A.' or 'Pink Houses' at patriotic events like fireworks displays.

They are critical social commentaries, not anthems.

one person who lived it

Do not clap along to songs at concerts unless the performer explicitly requests it.

Audiences often fail to keep time, clapping on wrong accents or off-tempo, which washes out the music.

2 people, independently

Recommend a few songs sampling different styles to showcase a band's range rather than just one or two tracks.

This is considered a more appropriate approach to showing what the band has performed.

one person who lived it

Pick a crowd-pleasing song like 'Sweet Caroline' to involve everyone else in the performance.

It gets everyone else involved.

2 people, independently

At karaoke, focus on connecting with others and joining big group songs rather than preparing a specific solo performance.

Waiting for a turn to perform a specific song reduces time spent connecting; joining group songs leads to better memories of the night.

one person who lived it

Sing karaoke with confidence, using only vowels if necessary, to ensure you have fun.

Confidence is the key element for enjoyment.

one person who lived it

Avoid including police, ambulance, or fire siren sounds in music productions.

Listeners may turn off the audio when they hear real emergency vehicles, mistaking the track for a warning.

one person who lived it

Do not use James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful' for a first dance.

The song is about unrequited attraction to a stranger, not a committed relationship.

one person who lived it

Do not blast music with car windows down in populated areas.

No one appreciates it or looks upon you favorably.

one person who lived it

Choose 'Tequila' for forced karaoke performances to cut down on singing time and generate laughter through awkward silence.

The song consists of only one word, requiring you to stand awkwardly while waiting to sing it.

one person who lived it

One approach some use: play loud music that is the exact opposite genre of what someone else is playing loudly in public.

• This is described as petty and dumb.

one person who lived it

Play James Brown or Funkadelic when alcohol has been flowing to energize the crowd.

Very few people resist James Brown after drinking, and Funkadelic can finish the set.

one person who lived it

Start singing 'Happy Birthday' yourself if you feel awkward standing silently.

Others may initially object but will likely give up on stopping you.

one person who lived it

Avoid using 'Fortunate Son' at political rallies supporting wealth or draft-dodging.

The song criticizes those exact behaviors.

one person who lived it

Avoid using 'Every Breath You Take' at weddings.

It is widely considered a stalker anthem rather than a romantic declaration.

one person who lived it

Be cautious using Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' in religious contexts.

It contains sexual verses and complex theological themes that some find inappropriate.

one person who lived it

Check for special 'bereavement' flight rates if traveling for a funeral.

Lower rates may help if money is tight.

• Not all airlines offer these rates.

one person who lived it

Bring an odd number of flowers to a host's home.

Even numbers are associated with graves.

one person who lived it

Focus on attending the funeral over wearing specific attire; showing up is the most important act of respect.

People remember who showed up and continued to show up, rather than what anyone wore.

• Extremely inappropriate attire (e.g., torn t-shirt and jorts) might still be remembered negatively.

2 people, independently

Gift easy-to-care-for plants like pothos or spider plants for funerals.

They serve as living memorials that are appreciated.

• Include a simple instruction card, as some plants have tricky water and light needs.

one person who lived it

Ensure all family members have been informed of a death before making any public posts about it.

Family members may discover the death through social media rather than being told personally by loved ones.

3 people, independently

Do not text the phone number of a deceased person expecting no answer.

Someone else may answer the call or message.

one person who lived it

Bring large packs of disposable plates, napkins, and silverware to grieving families.

These items are often more useful than food due to overflow and reduce cleanup.

2 people, independently

Buy affordable flowers regularly, such as during weekly sales, to bring joy to parents or elderly relatives.

It makes them happy.

one person who lived it

Reserve expressions of gratitude for service for Veterans Day rather than Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is for honoring those who have fallen, while Veterans Day is for those still alive.

2 people, independently

Avoid sending chicken as condolence food.

It is the most common item sent by others.

one person who lived it

If your budget is tight, reduce the number of wedding flowers or skip them entirely.

Starting married life with financial challenges is not a good foundation.

one person who lived it

If you are unsure of the family's wishes, wait until an obituary is published in the paper before sharing news of a death publicly.

By that time, the family knows everyone will know.

one person who lived it

Create a Will and a Living Will to relieve family members of difficult decision-making pressure regarding care and estate distribution.

It takes a lot of pressure and anguish from family members who have to make difficult decisions regarding your care.

one person who lived it

Remove cellophane wrapping from flowers before laying them at a cemetery or public memorial.

Removing plastic allows the flowers to be seen clearly as a tribute and prevents littering when the flowers decay.

• Some argue it does not matter because the deceased cannot see it either way.

2 people, independently

Purchase caskets from third-party vendors rather than exclusively from funeral homes.

Funeral homes are required to accept third-party caskets, which can be cheaper than those sold by the home.

one person who lived it

Avoid driving funeral processions on highways or freeways.

Highways can lead to unsafe speeds and chaotic situations.

one person who lived it

Pull over and stop to yield to funeral processions until the last vehicle passes, unless the procession is on the opposite side of the road or local laws require treating each car individually at controlled intersections.

It pays respects to grieving families who are having a harder day than you.

• Do not pull over if the procession is on the other side of the road going in the opposite direction.
• In some areas, processions must follow standard rules of the road at controlled intersections.

one person who lived it

Avoid sending morbid wreaths or death bouquets to veterans hospitals or care homes after a funeral.

Such gifts are considered poor taste and serve as grim reminders of mortality to residents.

one person who lived it

Reserve 'Happy Memorial Day' greetings for the deceased; do not say it to living veterans.

4 people, independently

Offer to take older relatives to the cemetery to visit graves.

They may enjoy sharing family history.

one person who lived it

Attend memorial services for friends or acquaintances of deceased relatives to represent your family name and shared history, especially if your immediate family is gone.

The deceased's family members may be pleased to see representation of the family name and shared history.

one person who lived it

Send large arrangements for the grave service and smaller vase arrangements for the family to take home.

Large arrangements are typically placed on the grave immediately after the service, while smaller ones go home with the family.

one person who lived it

Ask the florist for recommendations on where to donate leftover funeral flowers.

They often know places that appreciate receiving such arrangements.

one person who lived it

Consult resources like 'Ask A Mortician' on YouTube for information on funeral procedures.

These channels provide extensive knowledge about what funeral processes entail.

one person who lived it

Avoid merging into or driving through a funeral procession once you have entered it.

Merging into a procession is considered embarrassing and inappropriate.

one person who lived it

Decorate gravesites with biodegradable products to prevent plastic buildup and litter.

It prevents unnecessary plastic from accumulating for you or caretakers to dispose of.

one person who lived it

When calling a home number to offer condolences, verify the identity of the person answering before assuming they are the deceased's relative.

one person who lived it

Combine the pre-wedding party and the wedding into one event to save on venue and catering costs.

You save money by avoiding booking a second venue and buffet.

• This approach is known as the Polterhochzeit.

one person who lived it

Stack twenty-dollar bills in groups of five to make counting easier.

Allows you to count by hundreds if you forget the exact number.

one person who lived it

Stop buying rounds of drinks to see if friends stay around when you are not paying.

It reveals whether they value you or just your generosity.

one person who lived it

• Stop keeping strict score of small favors like buying drinks, as it damages friendships and is considered rude.1

Rotate who pays the bill among friends when eating out.

Everyone respects this rule.

one person who lived it

• Rotate who pays for different parts of an outing, such as one person paying for dinner and another for drinks, or splitting costs into a pot.3

Warn friends before going out if you intend to change payment habits to avoid awkwardness.

Friends with a history of you paying may assume you will keep paying.

one person who lived it

Do not dump unwanted shots over your shoulder or in the sink.

Wasting people's money makes you someone others do not want to be friends with.

one person who lived it

If you order food for the entire table, pay for it yourself rather than expecting others to contribute.

You should not expect people to pay for food they did not order.

one person who lived it

When your host takes you to dinner, excuse yourself to slip your credit card to the waiter to pay the bill discreetly.

This prevents arguing over the check.

one person who lived it

• Give your credit card to the waiter during dinner so you only need to sign the receipt later.1

Do not argue over who pays in front of the server; resolve the dispute among yourselves or let the server take the first card offered to avoid putting staff in an uncomfortable position.

Arguing puts wait-staff in an uncomfortable situation and wastes their time while they have other tables to care for.

3 people, independently

• As a server, take the first card handed to you when people argue over paying, allowing them to argue among themselves rather than involving you in the decision.1

Pay for older or reputable people, such as professors, when inviting them to dinner out of respect.

It is a sign of respect.

one person who lived it

Refrain from joking that an item is free when it fails to register at checkout.

The cashier has likely heard this joke many times.

one person who lived it

Specify the exact drink you are buying for everyone (e.g., 'give everyone a beer') rather than saying 'rounds on me'.

This prevents people from ordering expensive cocktails at your expense.

one person who lived it

• Refrain from switching to an expensive drink when someone else is paying unless explicitly told you can choose anything.1

Do not expect guests to reimburse you for food or alcohol provided at your home; spending money should be their choice.

It is not acceptable to buy supplies and then expect payment.

one person who lived it

Ask the other person if you can get their check; if they say yes, put it on one check for you, but if they say no, request two separate checks so the decision is theirs.

This makes you appear noble in one scenario and keeps your hands clean in the other because they made the decision.

one person who lived it

When eating with a friend's family, offer to pay the first two times, but stop offering if they insist on covering the cost.

Families usually pay for guests' meals.

one person who lived it

Eat before going to sports games to avoid overpriced stadium concessions.

The cost is in Fuck You Dollars.

• Detroit and Atlanta are exceptions in stadium concession prices.

one person who lived it

At the start of the meal, explicitly state that you are low on funds and will only cover your own portion.

It prevents the unfair situation of ending up short due to bill-splitting expectations.

one person who lived it

• Do not announce your intention to pay separately unless asked; simply state 'mine's separate' if the bill comes.1

Consider leaving a large tip on your first drink if you plan to order again, though effectiveness varies.

One perspective suggests this ensures quick service for subsequent orders.

• Some bartenders dislike this approach as it implies an expectation of special service or power dynamics.
• In some locations, a big tip means nothing compared to being a regular.

one person who lived it

Finalize the full group order before signaling the bartender.

Calling for service without a complete list is viewed as a major faux pas; one server mentioned they would leave if patrons turned around to check preferences mid-interaction.

4 people, independently

Pay the bill discreetly when meeting your partner's parents for the first time to make a great impression.

It creates a positive first impression.

one person who lived it

Pay cash for drinks to avoid billing disputes or errors.

It cuts the issue out pretty fast.

one person who lived it

Confirm with the venue in advance that they allow split checks for tables.

Not every venue allows this.

one person who lived it

When multiple cashiers are available, choose the one who greets you first.

They are letting you know they will be serving you.

one person who lived it

Write 'CASH' in the tip area of your receipt when paying with a card but leaving a cash tip.

This ensures the server knows you have tipped in cash.

one person who lived it

Avoid dining at restaurants where the entire menu lacks prices.

This often signals that prices are higher than the food is worth or targets those less sensitive to cost.

one person who lived it

Wait for the host to order first, then choose an item at a similar or slightly lower price point.

3 people, independently

• Ask the host what they recommend or what they are ordering to gauge the appropriate price range.6

If multiple people offer to pay, take both cards, shuffle them behind your back, and have one person pick a card.

Generates laughter and smiles among the group.

one person who lived it

• If multiple people want to cover the bill, have everyone put their cards in a pile or container and let someone draw one at random to decide who pays.3

Order within the same budget as others or less if someone offers to pay.

Empathy for those who might be short on money.

one person who lived it

Track your exact spending and debts during group trips and communicate them to friends to avoid disputes.

Otherwise your argument that you didn't spend as much doesn't hold any water.

one person who lived it

If a friend wants an item but lacks the money, let them return later to buy it rather than paying for them yourself.

It is not your responsibility to pay for them.

one person who lived it

Ask if the customer wants a receipt before handing it over, as most do not want one.

it eliminates a step

• one person noted they always say yes now because a spoiled item couldn't be returned without a receipt

one person who lived it

Write 'or' instead of 'and' between names on a joint check so either party can cash it individually.

'And' implies all parties must be present, whereas 'or' allows one person to cash it, which helps if name changes or updates are pending.

one person who lived it

Note that checks are still used in France.

Regional variation.

one person who lived it

Have everyone split the cost of shared staples or take turns buying them to address missing items.

One approach that saved relationships and was successful.

one person who lived it

When dining with a group where some are not drinking alcohol, request separate checks or exclude non-drinkers from the cost of shared bottles.

Non-drinkers should not pay for alcohol; those who order individual drinks eat the extra cost.

one person who lived it

Take a photo of the bill if you suspect the other person might reject you later, to have proof of the amount owed.

Having a record allows you to send the bill if they reject a second date.

one person who lived it

Allow friends to pay for you occasionally, even if you earn more, so they can contribute to the relationship.

Always paying sends the wrong message of power and prevents friends from feeling like they are contributing.

one person who lived it

Leave bills sideways in an open register drawer until the transaction is complete, then place them in the correct slot and close the drawer.

This prevents disputes about being shorted.

one person who lived it

Round change in the customer's favor when giving change back as a server.

Rounding in your own favor is considered rude.

one person who lived it

Reciprocate favors in friendships by taking turns paying for things like tickets, drinks, or meals, ensuring you are not always the one paying.

There is usually reciprocity in friendships.

one person who lived it

When paying with change, dump the entire amount onto the counter or into the cashier's hand rather than counting it out yourself.

Cashiers can sort and count it much quicker using their experience.

one person who lived it

Calculate your exact share and pay it immediately without feeling obligated to cover the whole bill.

If you feel obligated to cover more, others will let you.

2 people, independently

Use debit or credit cards instead of cash to avoid issues with penny circulation and rounding.

It is the easiest way to solve the problem if you are worried about it.

one person who lived it

Clarify whether an outing is a date or a platonic hangout to ensure both parties share the same expectations regarding payment.

Misalignment on whether it is a date can lead to different views on who should pay.

one person who lived it

Normalize splitting bills by stating that this is how you and your friends always handle payments.

It clarifies that the other person has been messing up previously.

one person who lived it

If you are wealthier than your dining companions, offer to pay the bill or suggest they contribute a minimal amount before the check arrives to spare them embarrassment.

Many wealthy people do not remember or experience what it is like to be poor.

one person who lived it

Choose a favorite restaurant and give a legendary tip on your next visit to become known, then resume normal tipping.

You'll be known in that restaurant.

one person who lived it

Charge your phone fully before going out.

Asking bartenders to charge phones disrupts their work, risks spills or damage, and inconveniences other guests.

one person who lived it

Practice counting cash slowly and accurately, even if it looks suspicious, to avoid being deceived by those trying to miscount.

It is better to be sure than fast.

one person who lived it

Change your phone wallpaper to a clear photo of yourself before asking a bartender to charge it.

This prevents embarrassment or conflict if the wrong phone is returned.

one person who lived it

Have friends pay for their own meals and then split the birthday person's bill among themselves as a gift.

one person who lived it

Wait until your meeting partner arrives before ordering drinks so you can offer to pay for their specific choice.

Pre-paying can create awkwardness if they wanted a different drink.

one person who lived it

Ask staff for the current price of items labeled 'Market Price' or missing prices.

It is standard practice and not considered rude.

one person who lived it

Accept meals graciously without trying to pay if doing so would be a financial burden.

Avoid creating awkwardness by accepting the gift when paying is difficult.

one person who lived it

Ask the person treating you what they are ordering to gauge their budget range.

5 people, independently

When inviting someone out, explicitly say 'My treat!' to signal there is no expectation of payment or reciprocation.

That is the entire point; it removes expectations.

one person who lived it

Learn local customs for paying the bill in Asian cultures where fighting for it is customary.

Standard payment tricks may fail against locals who are experienced in the 'battle' of sneaky bill paying.

one person who lived it

Bring enough cash to cover your portion of the bill, including tax and tip, and add it to the pile of payments.

one person who lived it

Have your payment method ready before approaching the bartender to avoid slowing down the line.

Waiting for customers to retrieve money or cards after ordering causes delays that accumulate when many people want to order.

one person who lived it

Keep checks separated by seat number initially, even if you plan to pay for everyone.

It is easier to recombine checks than to separate them later.

one person who lived it

Choose date activities that fit within your budget to prevent financial discomfort for either party.

It ensures nobody feels bad.

one person who lived it

Dance with every important guest individually rather than using a paid line-up format.

You can dance with everyone without asking for cash.

one person who lived it

Be aware that guests may be confused about payment expectations at private clubs where members receive monthly bills for purchases.

Guests might assume the cost is nominal or covered due to the club's nature.

one person who lived it

Alternate paying for different parts of the outing, such as dinner versus transport, to balance costs naturally.

This approach feels fair and works out without precise calculation.

one person who lived it

Inform the server immediately after being seated, prior to ordering, that you require separate checks so they can monitor individual orders.

This enables the server to track exactly what you order.

5 people, independently

One former customer service agent intentionally placed rude customers on hold and used their behavior during that time to decide whether to waive fees.

To determine if the customer deserved the waiver based on politeness.

• This reflects one worker's personal policy, not a general rule.

one person who lived it

Use your phone calculator for payment calculations.

Almost every phone comes with a calculator installed, so there is no excuse for bad math.

one person who lived it

Call the restaurant ahead of time to ask for market prices if you are concerned about budget constraints.

Reputable restaurants should provide this information without hassle.

one person who lived it

Go to stores with layaway programs and anonymously pay off random people's bills.

one person who lived it

Implement a 'phone stack' game where the first person to reach for their phone pays for the next round or dinner.

3 people, independently

Expect that cashiers may focus on speed and line management over convenient change handling.

Cashiers are often instructed to be faster and ensure there is never a line, rather than focusing on customer convenience.

one person who lived it

If you intend to cover the cost of a group dinner, wait until the check arrives to pay, allowing others to order freely without feeling constrained.

• Do not hand your credit card to the server to keep track of throughout the meal due to risk of loss.

5 people, independently

Consider skipping a large traditional wedding in favor of a smaller ceremony followed by a honeymoon or later party.

Money saved is better spent on experiences like a honeymoon.

one person who lived it

Tip well during your first visit to set a positive relationship with the establishment and bartender.

It goes a long way toward establishing a regular relationship.

one person who lived it

Do not offer to buy someone's meal at a restaurant you cannot easily afford.

4 people, independently