Gifting
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Avoid gifts that force the recipient to display an item they dislike to avoid hurting feelings.
The recipient may feel confused or unable to throw it away because it is a gift.
3 people, independently
Ask the recipient where they purchase supplies for their hobby and give a gift card to that specific store.
They will likely tell you specifically where they shop.
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- Offer a gift card from a retailer that stocks equipment for the person's particular interest.8
- Do not buy hobby supplies unless the recipient specifically asks for them or you know the exact brands they use.1
Buy gifts that the recipient would not purchase for themselves in daily life but would be willing to own and use frequently.
Gifts allow you to splurge on someone's behalf for things they wouldn't spend money on themselves.
- This assumes you know a lot about the person you are buying for.
- It can be difficult to determine what they would want.
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Do not buy gifts that are not on the registry.
If an item is not on the registry, there is a reason for that.
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Do not buy a purse for a partner unless you know exactly which one they want.
Guessing can lead to missing the mark badly.
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Gift consumables like food, drink, or candles so the recipient can use them up without adding clutter to their home.
If you dislike specific gifts, explicitly tell gift-givers to stop buying them.
One person found that stating a candy was not their favorite stopped the unwanted gifts.
- Others may react with surprise or disbelief.
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Consider that replacing an item with a 'lifetime' warranty might lead to conflict if the replacement is cheaper than the original.
One person feared their spouse would buy a cheaper replacement and get upset when they wanted to keep the current one.
- This is based on one person's specific fear regarding a 100-year warranty item.
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Gift tape to hockey players.
They always need various types of tape (black, white, pride, clear) every holiday.
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Give your children a 'date day' where they pick the activity.
It usually results in having more fun.
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Consider giving cash if unsure what to buy for a professional, but be aware it may need to be a higher amount to feel comparable to a physical gift.
A small bill can feel less significant than a similarly priced item.
- Cash may require a higher monetary value to match the perceived weight of a regular gift.
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Gift the box instead of expensive toys for cats.
Cats often prefer the packaging over the toy itself.
- Some cats may still prefer toys or other objects like shoelaces.
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Avoid buying clothing, especially hats, as fit and style preferences are difficult to guess even for close partners.
Fit issues (e.g., head size) and style mismatches make clothing risky; even spouses struggle to pick correct shirts.
2 people, independently
Consider cash a valid gift if the recipient enjoys collecting, storing, saving, and spending it.
It shows you know they like cash.
- Some people believe giving cash means you do not know the person well enough.
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Check the recipient's Amazon wish list, Pinterest boards, or other curated lists to find gifts they actually want.
These lists contain items the recipient specifically likes or wants.
4 people, independently
Keep a list of consumable or non-cluttering items you wouldn't mind receiving in multiple quantities.
It helps gift-givers avoid clutter and gives you things you don't get sick of.
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- Keep collections of common or easy-to-obtain items private to avoid receiving excessive duplicates.1
Consider Darn Tough socks as a gift option.
They are more expensive but worth it.
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Gift super strong fridge magnets or magnetic tools.
Recipients tend to keep them on their fridge long-term.
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Gift a Space Pen.
It writes at any angle and is used by astronauts.
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Learn about the recipient's hobby by talking with them and listening for what they still want or need.
Knowing what they already have helps you avoid failing to pick something useful.
2 people, independently
Ask recipients if it is okay to buy bulky gifts that require significant storage space before purchasing.
Recipients may lack room to place or store large items like trampolines or furniture.
- One source sarcastically suggests that huge impractical things are better because they are annoying.
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Gift photo books of vacation or family photos.
People often plan to print these photos but never actually do so.
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Keep baby blankets on hand and embroider the name when a friend has a baby.
It creates a ready-to-go signature gift.
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Ask people directly what they prefer regarding gifts rather than assuming based on their illness.
Talking to them about what they would like can result in receiving a highly valued item.
2 people, independently
Gift a yearly paid subscription to a service the recipient enjoys.
It can be highly appreciated and frequently mentioned.
- Canceling it the following year may feel like taking something away.
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Gift consumables related to a hobby, such as thread, needles, or paint mediums.
These items run out or wear out and are reliably put to use.
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- Gift consumables like food, drink, or candles so the recipient can use them up without adding clutter to their home.7
- When giving gifts for hobbies, buy expandables or consumables rather than accessories or decor.1
Check if the recipient has a wishlist online before buying a hobby-related gift.
This ensures the gift is up to date with their current needs.
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Give practical gifts like gas cards or bill payments instead of clothing.
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- Give gift cards instead of physical clothing items to avoid issues with size, style, or personal taste.1
Look up the '5 love languages' theory to help understand gift-giving dynamics.
One person found this theory helped them better understand gift-giving.
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Use self-checkout, order online, or go with a friend when buying embarrassing items.
These methods make the purchase a non-issue by reducing direct interaction.
3 people, independently
If someone requests a specific item, buy exactly what they asked for or do not get it at all.
People may have specific reasons for their choice, such as testing if they like an item before committing to a high-quality version, and substitutions often result in unused items.
2 people, independently
Include batteries when donating toys that require them, as recipients may not have the immediate funds to purchase them.
Batteries are expensive for those receiving the gifts.
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Gift high-quality towels, checking first which color would be well received.
Towels are used daily but people often lack the disposable income to buy anything but budget options.
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Give a gift certificate for a hobbyist's favorite store or a small, easy-to-care-for plant like an aloe or pothos instead of a complex species like an orchid.
A specific store certificate is more personal; orchids may have wrong size pots or insufficient drainage.
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If your significant other expresses interest in an item, buy it immediately and hide it until a holiday.
This reduces last-minute shopping stress.
- The recipient might buy the item themselves or receive it as another gift, making your duplicate unreturnable if bought long ago.
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Avoid gifting the 'extra strong' version of a product someone likes; choose subtlety instead.
Extreme versions, like super dark roast coffee or high-proof liquors, can be off-putting or burn too much.
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Clarify that your collection is complete if you do not want more items.
Only qualified experts who notice the collection is incomplete should buy related gifts.
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Record yourself reading favorite books or stories, including page-turning sounds, to create a personalized audio gift.
Hearing the voice provides comfort and memory.
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Give secondhand gifts only to people who are frugal, eco-conscious, or enjoy bargain hunting.
People who wouldn't buy secondhand themselves generally prefer new gifts.
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Accept a duplicate gift gracefully by stating you will save the new one for special occasions.
The giver will be thrilled.
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Consider giving a coupon for an art print service for housewarmings.
It allows the recipient to choose their own wall decor.
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If you are unsure what to give, choose consumable items such as food, drink, candles, or gift certificates.
Items that can be easily used up or consumed are safe choices when uncertain.
2 people, independently
Create a detailed wish list with manufacturer names and links for tech or specialized gear.
It ensures the giver knows exactly which specific item you want.
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Give gifts immediately when you find them rather than waiting for a designated holiday.
Unexpected gifts at unexpected times are often appreciated more.
- Some may prefer to buy when convenient but give on the birthday.
2 people, independently
Wait until after a trip to offer gifts to avoid pressure and unpredictability.
Traveling can be unpredictable and creates pressure to spend too much money or lie about costs.
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Keep a notes app list of specific items, patterns, or colors friends mention loving to purchase later for birthdays or holidays.
One person reported their gift-giving skills improved after starting this practice.
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Burn fancy candles you receive as gifts instead of saving them for a special occasion.
Saved candles often just sit unused.
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If a recipient lists a specific brand or style, buy exactly that item rather than substituting one you think is better.
Substitutes often result in the recipient not getting what they wanted, even if marked as purchased.
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Avoid buying gifts related to the recipient's career, such as ornaments, mugs, or plaques with bragging statements.
People in these professions often already have too many such items, and the statements can be embarrassing when seen by colleagues.
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Gift humorous versions of useful items that can be hidden away.
Recipients are likely to keep them and laugh when using them, especially if they would not buy such an item themselves.
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If you must open a gift publicly, verbalize how you plan to use it to show appreciation.
It demonstrates gratitude and engagement with the gift.
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Avoid gifting Rubik's Brand cubes to puzzle enthusiasts.
They are considered terrible by enthusiasts.
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Give 'The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook' for secret Santa exchanges.
It tends to elicit funny looks and laughter.
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Gift high-end insulated drinkware like a Yeti mug if the recipient usually buys cheap knockoffs.
The recipient would never have bought such a quality item for themselves.
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If you believe you found a better option than what was requested, ask the recipient about it before buying.
Someone requesting a specific item likely does not focus on the surprise factor.
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Avoid buying kitschy souvenirs like cliché t-shirts or knickknacks.
They are often poorly received and quickly discarded or donated.
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Tell family members that you prefer practical, consumable, or essential items like socks to avoid receiving clutter.
Everyone always needs socks, and it allows you to replace old essentials without justifying the cost yourself.
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View gifts from extended family and friends as symbolic gestures rather than essential items, and be prepared to donate most of them.
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Purchase potential gifts early in the year to take advantage of lower prices before holiday price increases.
Prices often rise leading up to Christmas and Black Friday.
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Request cash or charitable donations instead of physical gifts.
To avoid dealing with physical items
2 people, independently
Research the specific nuances of a recipient's interest via articles or videos before buying a related gift.
Getting details wrong, such as making food too spicy, detracts from the experience and makes it unenjoyable.
2 people, independently
If you know a golfer's brand preference, gift them that specific brand of golf balls rather than cheap generic options.
- Cheap golf balls are considered sad gifts.
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Do not attempt to disguise embarrassing purchases by buying a greeting card with them.
Store clerks are generally uninterested in the specifics of your purchase.
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Avoid giving decorative items because your taste likely differs and it creates an obligation for the giver to display them.
Tastes differ and givers may feel obligated to show the item.
2 people, independently
Provide a gift list with a wide price range to accommodate different budgets while maintaining partial surprise.
It gives options and respects budget differences.
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Explicitly tell family to stop buying you themed items even if you love the theme.
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Buy local treats or groceries as souvenirs instead of trinkets.
Unique food items from grocery stores are considered the best souvenirs.
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Gift items that complement a hobby rather than components of it, such as cheese for wine lovers.
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Do not buy furniture for friends or family unless it has been previously discussed.
Unexpected furniture deliveries can be unwelcome surprises.
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Avoid letting others know you collect easily obtainable items.
You will likely receive repetitive, unwanted duplicates for every occasion.
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Avoid gifting bulky souvenirs like giant keyrings to men; consider a nice carabiner instead.
Bulky items in pockets cause discomfort and potential spinal problems, and men may not use unwanted keyrings.
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Maintain an inventory of necessities like tampons to avoid last-minute awkward purchases.
Keeping a spare box in storage allows for seamless switching and timely replenishment.
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Give doormats as housewarming gifts.
They are practical entryway items that homeowners rarely buy for themselves.
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Include batteries with any gift that requires them, preferably rechargeable ones.
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When uncertain about a gift for someone with a particular hobby, ask them directly or let them approve the item beforehand.
Do not give large paintbrushes to miniature painters.
The scale is wrong for their detailed work; brushes may be too wide for small figures.
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When uncertain about a gift for someone with a particular hobby, ask them directly or let them approve the item beforehand.
They often know better what equipment or items are needed, which stops you from purchasing something they may not find useful.
6 people, independently
- Avoid buying cheap equipment for a recipient's established hobby.1
Gift a high-quality version of a basic tool only if you share the hobby and know it is useful.
Shared experience ensures deep knowledge of the subject and utility.
- Only do this if you have deep knowledge of the subject.
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Do not worry about what cashiers or others think of your purchases, as they generally do not care.
Cashiers often have sales goals or minimum wage concerns and rarely pay attention to specific purchases.
4 people, independently
- Realize that cashiers generally do not judge purchases because the job is boring and they operate on autopilot.1
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Do not buy climbing gear for climbers unless you are an expert who has thoroughly inspected it, as they will not use gear they do not trust with their lives.
Climbers do not trust their lives on gear they haven't thoroughly inspected.
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Do not give Instapots to people who asked for rice cookers.
They are different appliances with different functions and capacities.
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Do not give plants to plant enthusiasts unless specifically asked.
They likely already have the plant or have a good reason for not wanting it.
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Do not give Target collector area toys to serious collectors of designer vinyl toys.
They are mass-market and considered low value junk by serious collectors.
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Do not give immersion blenders to people who asked for food processors.
They serve different culinary purposes.
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Give liquor, such as whiskey or wine.
It is usually appreciated if you know the person isn't sober.
- Do not give if the person is sober.
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Give infused olive oil as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine or whiskey.
It lasts longer and will not interfere with sobriety.
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Gift heated socks with rechargeable lithium batteries that use mini USB charging for someone with cold feet.
The recipient reported they are amazing.
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Clean baby wipe warmers regularly according to their schedule.
Warm, wet, and uncleaned environments become nasty quickly.
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