Gifting etiquette
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not ask a recipient if they have read a book you gifted them.
if they haven't read it, asking can make them feel awkward about admitting it
- some people are comfortable admitting they did not read the gift without feeling guilty
one person who lived it
Insert a bookmark into a lent book.
It serves as a reminder that the book belongs to you, likely prompting return; it may also prompt sooner return if the borrower thinks you are reading it too.
one person who lived it
Buy the Kindle version of a cookbook instead of a physical copy.
It prevents the book from being shelved without use.
one person who lived it
Take a photo of the person holding the book when lending it.
It ensures accountability so they cannot deny having the book later.
2 people, independently
Contact the giver after reading or using a gifted book to express appreciation.
sending a note weeks or months later shows real appreciation
- do not contact the giver if you simply regifted the book
one person who lived it
Inscribe gifted books with a personal note explaining why you chose them.
it shows personalization and makes the book more memorable; recipients often keep these books longer
- some people hate writing in their books
- inscribing prevents the recipient from returning, exchanging, or re-gifting the book
2 people, independently
- Sign the inside cover of a gifted cookbook with a personal message.1
Flick through the pages of a book before lending it to ensure you have not left anything inside.
It prevents awkward explanations and potential legal issues.
one person who lived it
If you are unsure of the recipient, decide what to write in an inscription beforehand rather than improvising on the spot.
Improvising can turn awkward.
one person who lived it
Wait until the recipient has unwrapped the book before inscribing it.
the recipient may already own the book and need to exchange it
one person who lived it